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Guest diniesaur

--when I refused to wear a bra until my mom told me my breasts looked more noticeable without one

--When I did wear a bra, I wore a training bra until they were size B to constrict my breasts, and then I wore a size B bra until they were size D for the same reason

--when I told my middle school bullies I was going to cut off my breasts when I was old enough

--when I liked it when my bullies called me a "he-she" because it was better than being called female

--when I started saving my pee for the shower so I could pee standing up

--when I wouldn't let my mom call me by my female name until I was five ("I'M NOT [birthname] DON'T CALL ME [birthname]!!!")

--when my mom begged me to pierce my ears and get blonde highlights, and I refused

--when I refused to be called a "lady"

--when my grandmother bought me nice skirts and clothes, and I never wore them

--whenever I thought of having sex with a man, I imagined myself with a penis

--when I wanted to grow up to be over six feet tall and as strong as my dad

--when I compared myself to guys instead of girls when thinking of my body hair, muscle, and height (I'm hairier than my stepdad!)

--when I refused to wear a skirt to my graduation ("females" were required to)

I have others...I'll put them when I think of them.

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  • Admin

Alex, given the bandwith/server issues we've been having with this site, I seriously doubt that adding a new forum wil be possible. I certainly do encourage you to post your ideas and questions in any of the forums that might be relevant to the subject, including the Transsexual Forum, MtF Forum or some of the sub-forums.

Ideas don't need to be put into a box or have a label stuck on them to be valid. Within reason, you may post anything anywhere you want, except of course the Teen Forum if you are over 22 years.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Guest composercookie

Im a transsexual mtf girl. After my parent know it, they were really unsupportive and threatened me to switch to home school, drop me out of school and such. I really don't want to live with my parent anymore. I had to pretend that I'm not a transsexual anymore so that they let me go to school. I have friend at school that are very supportive, in fact, I even cross dress at school. But whenever I go home I feel unsafe. Is there a program out there that will take me away from home? I want to go to a place where I'm allowed to dress and live as a girl, and I don't have to go home. I don't want to live with my parent anymore. I'm willing to work, do anything as long as I can live somewhere else where I can live as a girl. I'm 14 years old and live in CA

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Guest composercookie

Im a transsexual mtf girl. After my parent know it, they were really unsupportive and threatened me to switch to home school, drop me out of school and such. I really don't want to live with my parent anymore. I had to pretend that I'm not a transsexual anymore so that they let me go to school. I have friend at school that are very supportive, in fact, I even cross dress at school. But whenever I go home I feel unsafe. Is there a program out there that will take me away from home? I want to go to a place where I'm allowed to dress and live as a girl, and I don't have to go home. I don't want to live with my parent anymore. I'm willing to work, do anything as long as I can live somewhere else where I can live as a girl. I'm 14 years old and live in CA

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Obviously as noted in the original post my intent is not to bind in the manner of an FtM and create a totally flat chest. Therefore no, a sports bra is not being considered the equivalent of a binder. I just want something to make them less perky and obvious. I suppose I can try a sports bra and report back here how it goes.

Thank you all for the replies so far :)

For me it's just a comfort and self confidence thing. While my breasts don't bother me at all I just want to feel a little more comfortable while being out in public as a male. It's hard to feel comfortable or confident out in public as a guy when you have a woman's chest. I am the owner of my business and as hard as it is my appearance does matter to me somewhat. I've always been on the feminine acting and sounding side anyway and I don't think I need any more cues stacked up against me as is. So no, finding something to help flatten my chest is not necessary at all really, just a personal comfort thing. Not to mention my family is starting to notice these things and isn't especially comfortable with it just yet.

Thank you all for the responses so far!

*hugs*

Risu,

I posted a similar thread a few months back. And the content was almost identical to yours, same concerns and fears...

The short answer is 'yes' to sports bras and compression shirt mentioned above for the cosmetic angle...

The funny thing is this: Once you 'own your identity' you will stop re-living the anxieties associated with 'your old identity' and you just go on as if nothing was wrong in the universe. People do look at my breasts now, and it no longer makes me dysphoric, though some people are just plain creepy...

You can flush that 'confidence as a guy' notion somewhere down the line. The more you realize you actually ARE female, the less emotional distress you will feel on 'his' behalf...

The thing that has turned my head around and set me straight was when I realized that my 'female confidence' had exploded a short while after adding progesterone to my regimen. Suddenly, I feel very confident where ever I go, especially considering that I always see myself as a woman, albeit a super tall, sometimes fuzzy-faced, androgynously-dressed, fruity-acting, large-footed one...but a woman regardless...and a woman who has a right to exist...

Once that 'right to exist' seed starts to sprout, watch out! lol..

Confidence is the key...

I have started imagining I'm wearing red carpet stlye fashions while shopping at the market. In my mind I am wearing a flowing gown, high heels and beautiful jewels. All eyes are on ME as I swish around the aisles as I imagine myself the center of everybody's attention. And I keep my head held high as I meet their gazes. I refuse to let go of the illusion, I face them as if I were actually in the clothes I am visualizing. I force myself to make eye contact, make genuine conversation, to be 'present'...

These visualizations have made me feel proud of my body, not ashamed, as they might have in the past. I am eager to get beyond 'the happy valley', though, yes indeedy! It will take years, one baby step at a time. We'll get there!!

You are such a bright and aware woman, Risu. You'll do just great with 'em new additions! lol..

Great days, great days...

Love, Svenna

Edited by Elizabeth K
DUPLICATE
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I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist for attention issues and stuff, but I told my stepdad that I want to start going back to a psychologist. Psychiatrists are great for meds and stuff, but they're not exactly great with the whole "sitting down and talking about feelings" thing. Anyway, I told my stepdad that I'd like someone who's a gender therapist. I was going to use it as a segue for coming out, but he didn't really ask any questions... He was just sort of like "Yeah, sure," and then changed the subject.

Anyway, I really like the letter idea, so I'm going to give it a shot. Hopefully it works.

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Guest PauletteX

I have only undressed with panties, although I wear womens's shorts and slacks fequently, to the pool, which is like the gym. When I was there I made sure to take off my shorts and panties at the same time, to minimize detection. Most males look another direction when with others who are changing clothes, so if you don't look suspicous, you will pass. Just go fast and deliberate in action! I would not attempt a bra, and definitely neither not at the doctors office!

PauletteX

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Guest PauletteX

I have only undressed with panties, although I wear womens's shorts and slacks fequently, to the pool, which is like the gym. When I was there I made sure to take off my shorts and panties at the same time, to minimize detection. Most males look another direction when with others who are changing clothes, so if you don't look suspicous, you will pass. Just go fast and deliberate in action! I would not attempt a bra, and definitely neither not at the doctors office!

PauletteX

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Guest Narguana

First things first, Hey everyone! Finally back, and trying to get a bit more active and organized here. Really want to take advantage of this place, not end up signing up for something else that could have seriously helped me but having had thrown it all away.

Anyways, my dilemma...

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Guest Narguana

First things first, Hey everyone! Finally back, and trying to get a bit more active and organized here. Really want to take advantage of this place, not end up signing up for something else that could have seriously helped me but having had thrown it all away.

Anyways, my dilemma...

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Guest Narguana

First things first, Hey everyone! Finally back, and trying to get a bit more active and organized here. Really want to take advantage of this place, not end up signing up for something else that could have seriously helped me but having had thrown it all away.

Anyways, my dilemma...

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Guest Narguana

First things first, Hey everyone! Finally back, and trying to get a bit more active and organized here. Really want to take advantage of this place, not end up signing up for something else that could have seriously helped me but having had thrown it all away.

Anyways, my dilemma...

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Guest EllaElls

Hello Matriamat!

From a fellow newbie, welcome to the forum :3

Now, on a more serious note, I see entirely where you come from. I was at this stage a couple weeks ago, and sort of still am. I recently came out to my mother, after a large amount of drama to get the courage to do so, and know it can be frightening. I cried nearly the entire time I talked to her. I know it may seem hard, but, you really should tell them as quickly as you can. Keeping it pent up inside of you is only going to worsen the depression and, alongside them noticing and constantly asking questions, it will result in them sitting you down and trying to tell you what they deduced was your problem. However, waiting for this is a bad idea.

Really, after all the drama, I just had to get it out. I still have no way to express myself and increasingly less alone time, following my stunt, but, knowing that my parents know and having plans in place for it, such as gender therapy and moving in with my more supportive but far away father, and just, feeling a wee bit less trapped.

On the subject of school, I say tell them before it starts. I'm currently failing half my classes because I kept it all bottled and let the stress get to me. I don't know how things work over there, but, try to get in contact with a counselor or someone else who won't judge you if you feel the need for immediate outlet, and can't wait for a therapist.

I wish I could cry, I've felt so emotionally chocked up lately... ENOUGH ABOUT ME.

I say talk to your mother, make it something personal. Put yourself in a situation where you can't just run away from it anymore, that's what I had to do. You just need to take some serious action before the insecurity and depression folds in on you, and starts to make life impossible.

Excellent advice!!!

Nothing I can add, but I wish you well...

Love, Svenna

Hey,

have you thought about coming out to a close friend first instead of your parents?

I also still haven't came out to my mother yet, and have found it impossible to do so because of the strong relationship we have. I know this seems rather ironic and confusing, but it's probably best coming out to a friend first, since then your friend can sort of act as a kind of 'trial-run' before you try with family- the people you will always need unconditional support from in life.

By coming out to a friend first, It shall hopefully also give you a stronger idea in how your Mum may react, although it's important to understand different people react differently- so I guess you should probably view it more as a trial to find out 'not what to say'. haha :poster_oops:

When you do, just make sure it's a friend you know you can really trust, and I would recommend you seriously don't tell him/her at school. Be sure to also plan what you're going to say/ write, and don't rush through it.

Although a letter will make it a lot easier, (possibly for both of you), if you feel you can do it in person, then go for it! :-) But most importantly, try not to explode too much information on them at once, as it will be enough of an initial shock anyway when you tell them, and by throwing out loads of more detailed info, it may make them less likely to understand at first/ really confuse them...... Not the initial outcome we're looking for.

Maybe start with, 'have you heard of the term transgendered?'- I know this is how Holly told her sister, which I think was a great way of coming out!

One thing I would say, if you know your friend is not particularly mature/ grown- up, although it will be really difficult for you, it's probably best to wait a little longer before you do tell them. Waiting sucks, but as many people say patience, and waiting for the right moment is vital in life.

Hope this kind of helps, and good luck!!- I'm in the process of coming out for the first time to a close friend at the moment, but equally feel a little uncertain as to how they will react. However what I can't bare anymore is the thought of everyone in the world thinking of me as a growing man, when I know I'm female, and should be developing a women's body. This is why I feel I must finally tell someone I know I can trust, and I feel I have finally found that person after doing lots and lots of patient waiting.

I hate to see myself male, and by just hopefully telling one person in the real, non- Laura's playground world, I really am hoping it will make things seem better!

Laura's playground is a great place to discuss things though, and most of what I've said so far has come from reading peoples stories from here.- I'm not quite sure where we would be without it, and it really does help us to realise the most important thing we must remember!- we're not alone! :-)

Having someone to talk to really does help in life, and so hopefully for this, it shall too! I'll repeat myself though, as you must remember it's really important not to rush!- Finding the right person is more important.

Will let you know how I get on with my first person, and give you any more tips as a follow-up on this! But best of luck for when you do decide to come out!

Speak soon,

A xx

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to Laura's! You've found a great place to be yourself and explore your feelings.

It does feel great when we finally confront who we are and lay the secrets to rest doesn't it?

We will be happy to share our opinions and experiences with you. Please feel free to post as much as you want in any forum whether asking questions, expressing opinions or sharing experiences. We are a PG-13 moderated site. You will have access to the PM system and profiles after 5 posts.

If you have not already done so, please read the "Terms and Conditions" page, the link to it can be found near the lower right of most any Forum page. Due to the special nature of Laura's it isn't the standard T & C but something you really need to read to make it easier for everyone. Thanks.

I enjoyed your introduction and look forward to your posts!

Johnny

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Guest Elizabeth K

Something is off here.The system crashed while I was replying. It shows no reply - so I am sending this again.

I looked at my body in the mirror -after I has getting into a sleep shirt for bed. I usually look at my face, but this was my body. I have a woman's body now - in all respects but one. I am working to get that fixed soon. That whole idea that I will soon be complete and undeniably so, just blows me away.

I guess Johnny, with time and perseverance, we now live the dream.

Ain't that something!

Lizzie

{TURNED INTO A DUPE- grin}

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  • Forum Moderator

I truly feel that trans people who are Mormon face extra struggles and it really a bad boat to be in.

This statement is sadly true. Having been raised in the church, I endured trying to "fit in" for something like 15 years. It just did not work for me and was extremely stressful, everyone kept trying to make you feel guilty for not living up to some standard, I was always never good enough and was constantly judged with my peers. You were always placed in the same group (age, gender), going through all these rituals over and over again, it was total life program, designed to make you fit into their "master plan". You were basically told how to interact with women, and they were kept seperate from the men, I was always curious about the relief society and I wanted to be with the women and girls. In retrospect I could never have mentioned my "dark secret" back then to any church person I knew, especailly knowing what I know now and how they might approach someone with this condition that does come forward, makes me glad I never did. Can you imagine standing up in "Fast and Testimony" meeting and being passed the microphone, ummm folks I have something to say here, the dress I am wearing is real. Having said all that I do like most LDS people I have met, they are some of the nicest people. They believe in hard work, family values, and Christ, those are all good things.

Cindy -

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