Good morning All. Coffees on.

[KymmieL]

Tessa,  best thing I did is get some rechargeable batteries for most all my electronics that take batteries. Saves $$. I usually have an extra pair ready to go so when something dies it is just put in fresh charged ones. the dead ones go in the charger. 

 

Finally getting our new couch delivered today. Got it on Wayfair. first delivery was to be the 1st. then changed to the 6th. then to the Apr 30. then May 16 then back to Apr 29 then finally got an email saying today between 10-2.

 

Supposed to be overcast but it is partly cloudy. 58 high today.  I'm loving this warm weather.

 

Kymmie

[Tessa]

39 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Tessa,  best thing I did is get some rechargeable batteries for most all my electronics that take batteries. Saves $$. I usually have an extra pair ready to go so when something dies it is just put in fresh charged ones. the dead ones go in the charger. 

 

Finally getting our new couch delivered today. Got it on Wayfair. first delivery was to be the 1st. then changed to the 6th. then to the Apr 30. then May 16 then back to Apr 29 then finally got an email saying today between 10-2.

 

Supposed to be overcast but it is partly cloudy. 58 high today.  I'm loving this warm weather.

 

Kymmie

Thanks for the tip. Enjoy your new couch! My mom surprised me and is bringing me lunch. I had to change my clothes. My mom knows about Tessa but she doesn’t understand so it’s better I just change. I sooo! Enjoy dressing like I want while I work! It’s free and enjoyable! I will miss not dressing up when work resumes in the building again. I know they except Tessa but I’m not ready to wear dresses to work. Speaking of work. Breaks over. My mom is such a Sweety! 
 

Tessa?‍?

[Willow]

Hi

 

guess I got too much sun today. I’m feeling it on my face.  We took the granddaughters sailing again today. We didn’t find any uncharted desert isles so we made it back to our dock ok

 

Willow

[KymmieL]

Willow, but was it a 3 hour cruise?

 

Got out new couch and was able to get it unwrapped and put together before I had to go to work so I was able to try it out. I almost was an hour or two late. If I would have laid on it for a couple minute longer.

 

Kymmie

[Tessa]

Hey all! 
 

I take calls for the bank and I had the craziest call ever! I was helping this guy get a pay off for his car and he started flirting with me over the phone! He told me I had a sexy voice and he loved how it sounded. Wow! My whole body got sweaty. He wanted to get my number but of course we can’t give that out so I told him thank you but I can’t give that out. I gave him his pay off and he called me Babe! Me Babe! No one in the world, even in my marriage has ever called me Babe. My ex always used my male name. I’m gonna get real with you all and reveal it now. My male name is Kevin and my female name is Tessa. Now you know. I’ve been recording my voice and it does come off very female and sweet. I would love to know what you guys think? So here’s my voice. Let me know. I’m really curious why some guy would say I had a sexy voice and other people to have called me sweet heart. Any way here is Tessa’s or my voice. 

[Oh_Kay]

Good Morning! Sleep was ok, but I woke often. Need extra coffee! I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!

[Tessa]

Hi Everyone! 
 

I slept ok but still it’s hard sometimes. Last night Carter forgot the chips I bought her in my car. I spent the time with my babies watching Wizard Of Waverly Place and a card game. I got them sonic to. My boy sometimes has an angry streak and I just have to deal with it I guess. He relaxes after awhile. Carter never wants to go home. Unfortunately I only have 5 to 8:30. So we started for home but Carter was hungry. She wanted Arby’s. So I got her some. Forgot to mention I walked on my floor and it was wet! Another flood! They were working on a backed up drain yesterday and it must have flooded some. A couple weeks ago had a flood to due to the hot water hearted over flowing. This one wasn’t so bad. Extractors came out and vacuumed carpet and now again I have to deal with a fan running while I try to talk to customers. I can’t move right now but I’m thinking about it. So my ex has a door ringer. She can see everything in front of the house. Carter really wants the chips. (Secret Dorito Mission) He decides he can go hop over fence and meet me half way down block. It’s 10:00 PM. I hit my flashers so he knows it’s me. I give him his chips and drive off unseen. I will do anything for my kids! I know she could live without the chips. Funny story. But if we didn’t do it this way my ex would probably complain. 
 

Please go by Tessa. Even though I opened up my male name. I was being vulnerable. Today will be a hot bath, breakfast, work. I’m going to watch airplane movies and disaster flicks today while I work. Here is my list: 

 

Titanic

Top Gun

Pearl Harbor 

Memphis Bell

2012

That should get me through the day. I’m thinking of a shopping trip. I feel guilty going because I really don’t need anything. But...I would like some bras, panties, mini skirts, nightgowns, t-shirts...etc. I just miss it! The only place to shop is Target or Walmart. I could go to the dollar store near me. I know they sell panties there. The other places are a little ways away. Should I do this? I could also save the money. I mean I just bought 5 sundresses. 
 

Well. That’s about all for now. Enjoy your day and do comment on what you think about my voice. It’s my normal voice and let me know if you think it would be ok to go shopping?  I’ve limited myself to 50 dollars and no credit card use if I do. Hope you all have a good day! 
 

Love ya! 
 

Tessa?‍??

[Emily michelle]

55 minutes ago, Suzanne1 said:

I never heard of it.  What's it about?  [Sounds to be pretty good.]

 

Certainly support is a good thing for individuals who wish it.  Very good to have it available if it's needed.  For me circumstances were such that the support-thing wasn't feasible.  Just as well though, it enabled me to go my own way which I found preferable for a number of reasons

 

Best wishes. 

It was very good it interviewed several people who were trans and a couple of parents of trans children. One was a trans doctor who ended up performing Gcs after she transitioned and then she went on to breastfeed her own children. What brought me to tears was the suicide statistics because I was well on my way to that so that really hit home to me. It is worth watching it would very informative for someone who doesn’t know anything about being trans. 
 

My wife is very supportive of me which is what scared me for quite a while because of questions she asked in the past. I haven’t come out to anyone else besides my sister.

[Oh_Kay]

I am hoping to watch Trans this weekend. When I looked it up on Amazon, there were some other related movies. I hope to look into those.

[KymmieL]

Thank you so much Emily. I got up early this morning with coffee in hand I watched Trans OMG did it hit home. Only about half way done because my youngest got up. So planning on the same thing tomorrow.

Anybody who has prime or can beg borrow it. I highly recommend Trans. I actually hope the my tattle tail son tells my wife or when they go to prime it is the first thing. And they watch it.

 

Being that my middle son supports my transition. I sent him an email that I drafted to send to my oldest. However he said it was a little impersonal coming out that way. That I should just call and tell him. That is the reason for the letter that it is hard to do. I do realize that an letter/email is some what impersonal but for chicken st#$&ts like me. A way to do it. I know I should man up but how can I when I am a woman. LOL.

 

Well going to get my happy arse going shortly so I can get some things done today. Change the fluids on the bike. Haven't done it in over a year. sorry.

 

Have a great day. Hugs to all.

 

Kymmie

[KymmieL]

Kay, in a search for trans it was about a the 6th one. it is the one with Trans written in the sand.

 

Kymmie

 

[Willow]

@KymmieL Actually it was a three hour cruise.  I think I forgot to mention that part.  But no storms. They are coming tonight and tomorrow.  It’s already pretty windy.  Not too much for my boat but enough to make my wife uncomfortable.  
 

Speaking of my wife, Happy Anniversary!  48 great years together.  Such an understanding person.  
 

Willow

[KymmieL]

That is good Willow. Need to keep out of the storms.

 

Well just got back from a ride, I got 2/3 of my fluids changed. I didn't take my Explorer with tools in it. I took my 2 dr crown vic it had the fluids in it. Even though I had my big Snap-on tool box I didn't have everything I needed. I need a torx head to take off the derby cover.

Once done I rode up to walmart.  There was a couple standing by the turn looks like they may have been panhandling, or so I thought. As I turned in guy opened the cardboard sign he was holding. it said smile.

So I did. And I got correctly gendered. He says to the lady, "Ah, She smiled" which was fantastic feeling. Even with being on a big Harley they thought I was a girl. that made my day.

 

Have a great rest of your day everyone.

 

Kymmie

[Emily michelle]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

That is good Willow. Need to keep out of the storms.

 

Well just got back from a ride, I got 2/3 of my fluids changed. I didn't take my Explorer with tools in it. I took my 2 dr crown vic it had the fluids in it. Even though I had my big Snap-on tool box I didn't have everything I needed. I need a torx head to take off the derby cover.

Once done I rode up to walmart.  There was a couple standing by the turn looks like they may have been panhandling, or so I thought. As I turned in guy opened the cardboard sign he was holding. it said smile.

So I did. And I got correctly gendered. He says to the lady, "Ah, She smiled" which was fantastic feeling. Even with being on a big Harley they thought I was a girl. that made my day.

 

Have a great rest of your day everyone.

 

Kymmie

If I remember correctly the derby cover is a t27 torx lol

[KymmieL]

I just didn't have one in my tool box in my storage. It was in my truck. go figure. I am also changing my derby cover to a custom one I had on my Fatboy. I just need a gasket, which is on order.

 

Kymmie

[Ellora]

Another beautiful day in San Diego today. Not as hot, hot will come next week. 90s inland, but that’s ok, my friend has a/c ?. It will be close to 20 degrees cooler on the coast, which is good, cause I don’t have a/c. 

[Emily michelle]

58 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

I just didn't have one in my tool box in my storage. It was in my truck. go figure. I am also changing my derby cover to a custom one I had on my Fatboy. I just need a gasket, which is on order.

 

Kymmie

I hated having tools in multiple places luckily now they stay on my truck and I always have them with me. I had a road king at one time but I sold it for another welder.

[Tessa]

Hey!

 

I did some shopping and it felt so good! I bought some clothes at the dollar store close out sale. I got 2 tights, 3 short sport shorts with 2 sports bras, 4 panties, 2 shirts, 2 more bras, some cute sandals, and some other essentials for 54.00 dollars! I told myself I would only spend 50.00. 
 

These days I’m really opening up my feminine side! It feels so good! I’m dealing with a lot of feelings right now. I beginning to understand who I am. I wasn’t afraid to buy tree items at all. It feels so free to be yourself. 
 

I hope you all had a great day! 
 

Felt good to get out and do something different than just grocery shopping. 

 

Stay beautiful Babes! 
 

Tessa?‍?

[Oh_Kay]

Tessa,

 

That is a wonderful uplifting message! I love it when people open up to their true selves! 

 

Good morning to everyone! Coffee is hot and smells great!

 

Be kind to yourselves today!

 

Hugs,

Kay

[Tessa]

2 hours ago, Oh_Kay said:

Tessa,

 

That is a wonderful uplifting message! I love it when people open up to their true selves! 

 

Good morning to everyone! Coffee is hot and smells great!

 

Be kind to yourselves today!

 

Hugs,

Kay

Thank you! Life is to hard trying to be someone else. I got on a Trans hotline. Given to me from our work support line. Bank Of The West has a free support line you can call. They gave me the Trans hotline. I haven’t been getting good sleep lately. I called the line and talked to a Larry. He is a female to male. He was so kind to me and as I told him things he said a lot of things that have happened to me are relatable. He also confirmed that my voice does sound like a woman’s. This made me happy! I told him about the guy who was flirting with me. My mind says you can’t have these feelings of love. My ex never loved me she made me do things that I was not comfortable with. Opening up here. She would make me do a strip show in order to have sex, sex was always on her time, she would use it as a weapon against me by with holding it. I felt used like I was a sex object to fulfill her only. No kissing or touching was aloud during sex. She didn’t even let me see her naked. She told me sex was only to have children so after our 3 kid she cut off all affection. No hugging, kissing, cuddling, she even would not respond to I love you anymore, sex was over. She told me I was the woman in our relationship and I was to emotional. She would slap my hands if I touched her and once she kicked me off the bed and tried to push me down the stairs. My Dad died of cancer and I was up one night crying and she said get over it. You didn’t have a relationship with him anyway. She tortured me by kissing all the kids and then when it came to me she said I don’t have time for you. Dinners were prepared but mine left on the stove. She isolated me from my family because she didn’t like them. I would clean the whole house and even her closet and put all 3 kids to bed. Hoping I could buy my way into her heart and we could once again physically connect. She told me she was to tired and always when she slept she would tighten the covers over her body and turn her back. We use to kiss, hug, but the sex was always you for this for me, get off me, now leave me alone. She would also never call me any name but Kevin but I had to call her Sweaty. This is my only ex so I have no one else to compare to. I was also put down in front of the children and she shamed my body to. Since I was skinny and that did not make her happy she would force me to drink these awe full shakes to make me bigger. So I was body shamed much like a woman is. She had a plan to get rid of me. She used me as someone to watch the kids so she could finish her nursing degree, she was saving money on the side secretly, I became the provider, meal maker, bus, playmate, everything for the kids. I loved it though! Then she graduated and a year later. She would talk of guys saying she was pretty and she stopped wearing her wedding ring. I was done. I confronted her and she told me I was cheating on her. I told her I want to try to reconnect still hoping to save this toxic marriage! She said if I ever divorced she would take the children. I thought I could live in a sexless marriage but I was wrong. I stayed for my kids. 
 

Then all hell broke loose. She changed banks and withdrew all her money leaving me 7 dollars. Enrolled kids in daycare. Changed all phone numbers. She told me I was not wanted anymore and I need to leave. Why didn’t I fight harder? I grabbed my clothes and took our broken down car and went to my brothers. I was working only one part time job at 7 dollars an hour at the time. Payday wasn’t for another week. My brother told me to go back. So I did only to have the police called and now forced to leave my home or go to jail. I left again and while I was gone she put a false protection order on me. I lost everything! I had to fight the order and after supervised visits and for months of not seeing my kids and her telling them I abandoned them I won! But the damage had been done. She got full custody. I got child support. Only visits on Tuesdays and every other weekend for only 6 hours. I have to get into a 2 bedroom apt for overnights. I haven’t been able to do that. 
 

After all this I began to find comfort in seeing how I truly want to be treated. My creative side came out and I began to discover new things about myself. Tessa came out full strong after the divorce. I started by buying woman clothes and my whole body chemistry changed. I stared accepting my skinny body as woman would tell me they were jealous of it even. So I did my nails and more compliments came! I would write stories and Tessa would be the main character. Then I shaved my legs and saw the beauty of my skin. I felt free from the bondage of always having to work for love. I found a friend I opened Tessa up to. He would let me dress like her when we hung out. I would have dreams of Tessa. I wrote a whole story line of her life. I began to feel again and people would say I was sweet and kind. My ex always told me I had to be tough. I then went to P-Flag recommended by someone on this site. I have battled so hard! I want to be loved the right way. I don’t think I experienced true love or even sex. I was an object not a person to her so being male hurts me. I was raped of my dignity and emotionally scared. Being single is hard but being unloved and rejected is much worse. How could anyone shame someone so bad? Tessa was not in my marriage so when I Love again regardless if I fully transition the person will be in love with Tessa. 
 

If you read this all. Please respond. I’m sharing my heart and it’s painful to do but I trust you girls. I need friends. I need to be loved and wanted! That is why what the guy said over the phone to me opened me up to see that in spite of all my scars I am beautiful! I am worthy of love! 
 

That’s my story. 
 

Love and blessings to all my beautiful Babes! 
 

Tessa?‍?

[TommieAnne]

Tessa, I have been in a similar circumstance in a relationship with women. Slapped around, mentally and emotionally abused. Raped. Called names.

And yes me ex cleaned out the checking account, packed everything of value she could and left.

I feel for you. It took a long time to climb out of that hole financially.  I don't know if I will ever get out of the hole emotionally. I'm in a good place but not a great place. Living in a small town in the middle of the bible belt means coming out is a dangerous proposition. So I haven't really done much of that.

Wish I could give you a hug and tell you everything will be better.

I do know that trying to be tough isn't really the answer. At least other than tenacious. We all just have to hang on.

TA

[ShawnaLeigh]

Super rough start to my day.  Woke up a 1/2 hour earlier to get on the road faster with my long commute into NH.  We were in a thunder storm and oh joy a tree fell across my driveway  AGAIN!  Pouring driving rains and winds.  The Super fun type, you now how it can be.

Once I moved the tree I had to go back in an get all tare myself down and start getting ready again. I was a train wreck.  LOL

 

Almost hit a moose and a calf on my way too but thankfully I was able to miss them both.  That happens a lot in northeaster Vermont.

So then 2 hours drive only to discover I left all my security badges at home and my all my access keys as well.  Sigh.

 

If it was not for Patti Anne cheering me up I probably would be postal right now.  LOL

The day can only get better right?

 

I wonder everyone has a wonderful day!!

 

[Emily michelle]

Good morning everyone!

Tessa, I’m glad that you are opening yourself up you are a wonderful woman.

 

shawna, Hmm can’t say I’ve ever seen a moose in real life lol. I always manage to forget my laptop at home then it ruins my day. Today I did manage to flood the cab of my service truck my water jug flopped over and leaked everywhere haha. I hope you have a better day!

Its sunny here and supposed to be 70 today and no rain I was miserable yesterday I ended up having to do electrical work in the rain. This morning I get to put teeth on a bucket that requires my crane to put on lol.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!!

[Oh_Kay]

Tessa, 

 

I'm at work but want to answer you, I will later tonight. Shawna and Emily, take care, do a little self care when you get home tonight. Be kind to yourself.  Steer clear of moose, bears, deer, chipmunks, ...

 

 

Hugs to everyone, 

Kay

[Maddee]

Good morning.

A woman was struggling trying to separate two shipping carts at Walmart.  I tried to help and it appeared too much for us.  Funny.

She said we need to find a man to help us.