Good morning All. Coffees on.

[JustineM]

Thank you everyone. I was talking to my brother about it and after he offered to come up and start kicking, he made the comment “Screw them, your a sexy b——— and you know it.” 
 

@KymmieL I’m sorry your wife isn’t supporting you. If you need someone to vent to my inbox is always open. 
 

@Mmindy it was interesting because just before that happened I had been thinking about the difference between my first time and that time in the store. First time I went I was terrified, hunched in, had my wig covering most of my face. (Not very ladylike at all) this time it was heck with it I got stuff to do. Had my wig back in a ponytail, took off my sunglasses, and was just doing my thing.

[Just Lee]

@JustineM it sounds like you went through a really bad time there and please know that we're all here for you. 

 

It's not a lot of consolation right now, but psychologically speaking, that pack behavior they showed toward you is something that is done to 85% of women at some point in there lives as a sad reality. It's a prey mentality that some depraved men enjoy doing to *only women* because women are perceived as 'weaker' than men. As scumbag as it was of them, they were treating you as a woman in the worst way, but still, you were seen and treated as female. They wanted to see if you really would act as a female toward their overtly aggressive pack male mentality. I know it was scary but they treated you as a woman and didn't even know it. 

 

You're safe now Justine and among friends. We're all here for you.

[Abi]

 I forgot to make coffee!!! 

[Erikka]

It is a good day. In July I penned some lyrics during a long drive from the Bay Area to home near the Oregon Border. I had been listening to a podcast in which the speaker started off with "Just for tonight imagine..........". I started thinking about all the possible situations that could transpire following "Just for tonight". In my head, starting from Marin until the southern boundry of Humboldt, an idea formed of what someone might say "Just for tonight". Imagine two lovers, caught in abusive relationships, with no apparent escape. By a chance meeting they find in each other something other than abuse,  and they meet in secret, to spend some time together, two people experiencing love in a way not afforded them by their respective spouses. 

I got home and sat at my computer and put it all down "Just For Tonight".The inspiration was also from conversations with my BFF about what absolutely horrible our controlling ex's were. It still, sadly, is a favorite topic. 

But that was as far as I got. Lyrics but no music. That was almost a year ago. I recently restrung my guitar to a different tuning and in noodling around and exploring the new tuning the music for the lyrics of "Just For Tonight" have come together.

So today is recording day. Coffee brewing. A batch of cinnamon rolls in the oven. And after two days of overcast gray weather, the sun is breaking though.

Velsignelser til alle

Erikka

[Patti Anne]

4 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Good morning everyone, the Coffee is about gone for the day.

 Hi Mindy  -I hope things are going better with your coming out. I haven't commented so far, but I've been following it. It's a rough process and not for the faint  hearted

[JustineM]

2 hours ago, Abi said:

 I forgot to make coffee!!! 

Somebody get her some Coffee!!! 

[Tori M]

3 hours ago, JustineM said:

this time it was heck with it I got stuff to do. Had my wig back in a ponytail, took off my sunglasses, and was just doing my thing.

 

It sounds like you've gained a lot of confidence.  Don't let their childish behavior bring you down.  The ONLY 3 times I've had bad public experiences was with teenagers.  Once boys, once girls, and once mixed.  At the mall it seems like they just hang out looking for someone to pick on.  Small-minded bullies, I call 'em.  Not worth your time or thought.  Great move going to the manager!  Glad they understood and helped!  Big HUGS❣️

[Mmindy]

4 hours ago, Patti Anne said:

It's a rough process and not for the faint  hearted

Thank you Patti Anne, for thinking of me. Things have calmed down as of last Friday when Suzie remembered a segment on the Gilmore Girls, and applied it to our situation. We're on a slow track to work things out, and keep our big picture for retirement in place. So I'm not walking on eggshells wondering when the next shoe will drop. I had a great conversation with my son, and he helped bring Suzie up to speed on Gender Dysphoria.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

[Susan R]

46 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

We're on a slow track to work things out, and keep our big picture for retirement in place. So I'm not walking on eggshells wondering when the next shoe will drop. I had a great conversation with my son, and he helped bring Suzie up to speed on Gender Dysphoria.

The ‘wondering what will happen next’ is what kept me from coming out to my wife for so long. The fear seems unbearable while your experiencing it. Knowing you’re both working for a common goal—retirement. It probably helps you with the worrying about any uncertainty. I’m glad things are improving and you made it through the initial ‘revealing your truth’ stage. Some never get that far.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

[KymmieL]

Mindy that is great to hear. I just wish my wife wasn't so closed minded. The dysphoria was running ramped earlier. I was on he verge of tear most of the day. I was so not into work it wasn't funny. I am getting so burned out at work. Don't really know what it is. the dysphoria or work itself. a combination. 

 

My Friday tomorrow of course I close. Hope the dysphoria doesn't hit as hard as it did today. I just wish I had someone to talk to about it.

 

Kymmie

[Mmindy]

6 hours ago, Susan R said:

Some never get that far.

So true Susan, my Suzie was worried that my coming out was going to be like a Jerry Springer episode, and she would have to explain to the community her new Lesbian Role. She's totally in the dark about Transitioning and the real timeline involved. We're working on communications and expectations by starting couples therapy on top of my own therapy. She doesn't want me to pick out research articles for her because she thinks I'll stack the deck.

 

Hugs, 

 

Mindy???

[Mmindy]

36 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Hope the dysphoria doesn't hit as hard as it did today. I just wish I had someone to talk to about it.

I'm sorry Kimmie, are you seeing a therapist? Have you looked for group therapy or a support network in your area? Today my therapist sent me three links to group sessions in my area. 

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

[Emily michelle]

6 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Mindy that is great to hear. I just wish my wife wasn't so closed minded. The dysphoria was running ramped earlier. I was on he verge of tear most of the day. I was so not into work it wasn't funny. I am getting so burned out at work. Don't really know what it is. the dysphoria or work itself. a combination. 

 

My Friday tomorrow of course I close. Hope the dysphoria doesn't hit as hard as it did today. I just wish I had someone to talk to about it.

 

Kymmie

I could only imagine how hard it is not having a supportive family. If you ever want to talk feel free to pm me. 
 

Mindy I’m happy to hear that your wife is starting to come around and is doing research on her own.

 

My wife told me last night that I made her a lesbian. I told her I was sorry for that. All she said it was ok so I was a little confused.

[ShawnaLeigh]

Last day of work in VT! 

I got up my regular time (330am) and just kept to my regular routine.  Just a half day too so no big deal.  Had a nice little pizza party yesterday and it was nice to just sit and chat with everyone.  More so just answered 1000 questions on what's what.  

 

Still trying to combat the dang nostalgia and sad feelings about leaving but I seem to be getting past all that grieving slowly as it gets closer to my final departure.   I am getting more and more excited to see Patti and go on this grand adventure!  

The room I am staying in currently has bare walls and everything is packed as much as I can.  It feels sterile kind of, and cold.  Its not my home anymore and my heart is staring to recognize this fact.  

All that's really left to do is to have Patti help me load up my king sized Sleep Number bed platform and mattress.  Luckily the mattress compresses down and packs into a tote and the platforms are split in two halves so its not a big load.

The harder part is getting the regular set up out of the basement and back into my Ex's room. 

But its worth it to me to do this.  I have decided I am not leaving a $7000 bed I just barely paid off for my Ex to enjoy.

 

For now its time to finish my travel mug and get a few things wrapped up.

 

Have a wonderful day!

[SaraAW]

1 hour ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Last day of work in VT! 

Hope your last day is wonderful! Always hard leaving a job and the folks you've built working relationships and friendships with, but at the same time, if you never move forward, you miss out on so much life. 

 

I was informed early last week, I am now a permanent work from home employee, mixed feelings about this. I will miss seeing my work friends on a regular basis, but at the same time, I gain a good chunk of my life and my income that was tied up in the daily commute.

 

We had the first visitors over last night, since the beginning of the pandemic.It was my wife's aunt and uncle. We sat in the backyard. It was so nice. We had to keep a very good distance apart, as my wife is high risk for complications. Spent about 30 minutes catching up before they had to leave.

 

I turn 40 next week and have decided to finish coming out to the people most important to me, before my birthday. I am so tired of hiding and want to have the next 40 years (hopefully) of my life lived as me.

 

Hope everyone has a wonderful day! Hugs!

[Willow]

Good morning

 

I haven’t had much of interest to say lately.

 

My wife has complained about me forcing her to be a lesbian.  Now she is a lot more understanding and realizes that she has been overbearing because of being easily embarrassed.  I have said I don’t want to push her too far so we are working through a compromise.  So far it’s working.

 

i wish I could come out to more people but part of the problem is who.  Who can you trust not to out you too fast or to people you aren’t ready to tell?  I’m not in a position where I can just be myself in the neighborhood although I can leave here to go shopping or something as myself.

 

@ShawnaLeigh have a save trip with @Patti Anne .  I am happy for both of you.  I know you will let us know how it’s going or how it went when you can.

 

hugs to all

 

Willow

[JustineM]

Well had a nice 3-day weekend but now it’s back to the grind. Coffee is being drunk with a nice raspberry/white chocolate creamer. Hope everyone has a safe and wonderful day. 
@ShawnaLeigh have a safe trip!

[Mmindy]

Good morning everyone,

The coffee is black and strong.

 

#HumpdayMotivation "The most beautiful compensation of life that no person can sincerely help another without helping themselves."-RW Emerson.

 

Mindy???

[KymmieL]

Mindy, Oh,yeah. I am seeing a therapist.

I wish there were support groups here  in town even Cheyenne would be OK. but alas no. Other than on here. I know no other trans people. From what I understand 2 of my youngest friends are trans. but they freak him out. They have changed so much. As he says, they are not the same person inside. That I don't believe one bit. I think it is him not wanting too. 

Oh well the blue ball in space keeps turning, (I think) and rotating around the big yellow thing.

Looking forward to my weekend starting tomorrow. I think I may start cutting down on my wardrobe some, get rid of things that don't really fit or that I wear anymore. Grab the Hefty bag for sure. Maybe thin down to make it easier to throw in the car if/when I 86 this joint.

 

Mid 70s forecast for today.

 

Have a great day everyone.

 

Kymmie

[Willow]

@KymmieL I have stopped seeing my therapist and also a psychiatrist that I saw a few times.
 

ididnt feel either was helping but left it that I could return if I needed help.

 

But I am fortunate to have everyone here and I have found a group that works for me.  It’s 2 ½ hours away each way, so I don’t get there every month.  But right now we meet on Zoom.  That makes it easier.

 

i think having friends to talk to that are going through the same dysphoria verses someone who understands but hasn’t experienced it is better.

 

Willow

[Tori M]

4 hours ago, Willow said:

 I have stopped seeing my therapist and also a psychiatrist that I saw a few times.
 

ididnt feel either was helping but left it that I could return if I needed help.

 

I had a different experience with the psychologist that I was once seeing where she would not let me quit.  I stated that I didn't see it was helping but she insisted that I continue coming in once a month or she would have to stop the HRT.  I agree with you, Willow, I only find real help/support from someone having the same experience.  This forum has already helped me more than that shrink ever did.

[Sally Stone]

Good morning everyone!  Second cup of coffee, watching eye makeup tutorials and browsing the latest posts here.

[Mmindy]

Good morning everyone, the coffee is still strong and black.

I'm working in my home shop building a Cargo Tank Training Prop for VA VDEM

So while the paint dries, I'm catching up on a few of you/us in/on the forums.

 

Love you all,

 

Mindy???

[Charlize]

Just got in from catching up a goat who will be moving to a farm in Lancaster County Pa.  A second cup feels good as the rain here is picking up and getting heavy.  It is welcome however as it's been dry here for some time.  The pastures need a bit from time to time here in paradise.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[KymmieL]

Good Morning everyone. finally my weekend, blue clouds and sunshine today. I was actually able to sleep in today even if it was just a little bit. 

 

I may see about helping my youngest with his car. May do some work on the video/ sound system in my 2000 Crown vic. most of all just relax, unwind & chill. Still looking to trim down some of my clothes.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment to get my boobs fitted. I am getting a pair of prosthetic breasts and got to see just what I want to get. Being I may eventually grow some of my  own. I am looking to get a set that have the real weight.

 

Have a great day everyone.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie