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KymmieL

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2 hours ago, KendraML said:

My male wardrobe was boring

I mostly wore the bluejeans and T-shirts - with extra layers in cold weather.  My job provided generic "blue collar" uniform.  I didn't really care much about clothes other than avoiding anything "girlie".  (I had a lot of internalized transphobia)

Now, I dress exclusively fem (except for rare safety concerns where I'm more ambiguous) It's funny, now I'm really picky about picking out my wardrobe for the day, even if I'm only staying home.

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2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:
2 hours ago, KendraML said:

.My male wardrobe was boring and was picky what I wanted during clothes shopping.I get this asked this sometimes,will I ever go back dressed as male and the answer is this: NO!!!!!!!!!!,I love my life now

I absolutely hated shopping for men's clothing. I can count on one hand how many times I've worn a suit. I will never, ever, ever go back.

 

Same.

 

Of course, for me, a big part of hating clothes shopping was just finding anything big enough to fit. I don't imagine that problem changing much for me in the women's section!

 

But yea, there's sooo much in the men's section that I've never been comfortable with. Consequently, my male wardrobe has been extremely bland and same-y for the longest time. Picking out lady's stuff, it's like "Oh, wow, this is so pretty! And it comes in my size (if I loose some weight)! I'll take it!" For guy's clothes, it's all "Wow, it fits AND there isn't even a single thing that makes me absolutely hate it! I'll take it!"

 

The dressier the stuff in the men's section, the worse it is for me. I've always been downright proud I've been able to avoid ever wearing a tie in my life! (Aside from a clip-on once as a kid.) I always thought it was because I hated the facade of formality, but I see the dresses women wear for weddings, and it's like...umm...nope...I definitely don't have a problem with formal "dressed up"! Just the heavily masculine stuff.

 

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Here in Canada, it is Thanksgiving weekend.  The official day is tomorrow, but many people, especially those who travel to get together with family, celebrate it today.  (Hopefully those who travel are doing so safely.)

 

I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have been "out" as myself for three and a half years, the best of my life.  I had my GRS earlier this years, and although my healing is slow, I am healing, and I am thankful for that.  I have communities, both local and online, to whom I can turn for support and friendship when I need it.

 

And most of all, I am thankful for my lovely wife, who declared her support for me within the first minute after I came out to her, and who has never wavered in that support.  Seventeen years ago today, we were married.  What a long, strange trip it's been, but I wouldn't have missed a moment of it!

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2 hours ago, Kylie said:

going to get myself together and most likely head back to say a last goodbye

I am truly sorry for you and your whole family. I hope everything gets better soon. 

 

My deepest sympathy,

Abi

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Happy Thanksgiving @KathyLaurenthis weekend and to all celebrating Canadians. 

Unfortunately my part of the province of New Brunswick and one other are under strict travel, visitation, and business restrictions under Covid-19 Orange conditions.  This is protect us all.

https://www2.gnb.ca/content/gnb/en/news/news_release.2020.05.0261.html

We all knew the second wave was coming but did not know when and how fast. Well it struck us in 1 day and just has been expanding in the last couple days. So it is limiting our travel outside or into 2 zones for Thanksgiving suppers.

This to shall pass and this will be made up at a later date. Stay Safe all.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

 

Big Virtual Canadian Hugs

JoniSteph

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Good afternoon everyone.

 

Boy I missed a lot this morning.  @Kylie I am sorry for your loss.  Be happy you had her for as long as you did.  sounds like you were loved.

 

@QuestioningAmber thanks for your thought but please read on

 

Hi Everyone!  I hope you are having a great National coming out day.  I am.

 

So, it poured most all night last night.  But this morning I woke up to high clouds but no rain!  NO RAIN!  I got ready for church, arrived about 15 minutes early and took my chair to a shady spot under a big live oak.  The sun came out completely.  The way I see it he changed the weather so I could complete my promise.

 

If anyone realized who I was they didn't say anything.  When the service was over I greeted the minister and it took him a few seconds but he realized who I was and called me Miss Willow!  

 

I was elated.  God made it possible to fulfill my promise and I did.  My circle just became significantly bigger.

 

Willow  

 

 

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5 hours ago, Kylie said:

I say that because she told me when I was at bedside she was ready to go to heaven.

Sorry to read the news about your Great-Grandmother. My thoughts and prayers are with you today.

 

Susan R?

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2 hours ago, Willow said:

If anyone realized who I was they didn't say anything.  When the service was over I greeted the minister and it took him a few seconds but he realized who I was and called me Miss Willow!  

 

I was elated.  God made it possible to fulfill my promise and I did.  My circle just became significantly bigger.

Wow.   Congratulations 

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@Kylie So sorry to hear about your great-grandmother's passing.

 

@Willow Congratulations on making good use of National Coming Out Day!

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Kylie I’m very sorry to hear about your great grandma.

 

Willow sounds like your coming out went great congrats!

 

im just enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon. Yesterday my wife and I celebrated our 6th anniversary. We had a wonderful evening and I got to wear a dress I’ve been wanting to wear for months now lol.

 

This morning we hopped on our bikes and rode 30miles 

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Willow, that is fantastic that your day turned out so well.

 

Kylie Sorry to hear of your loss. It is hard losing a family member.

 

Emily, Congrats on making the 6 yr mark. A week from tomorrow I hit the 35 yr mark.

 

dreary and rainy here today. But work is over.

 

Kymmie

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Mom and I went dress shopping this afternoon,she loved the halter top dress I picked out to wear buying it.She picked out a sleeveless dress and I thought she looked good in it.Going to a cousin of mine's wedding on the 24th.

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@Kylie: I never know what to say at things like this so I usually stay silent, but I wanted to at least try to say something. Sounds like a difficult time...You're both in my thoughts, and I wish for the best for both, both here and beyond. *hugs*

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Had my name and gender changed on my driver's license on Friday.Has F instead of M for the gender part and my female name on it now.Since I live and dress as female now,I should of done it when I went fulltime 4 years ago.When it comes in,shredding my old driver's license

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2 hours ago, KendraML said:

Mom and I went dress shopping this afternoon,she loved the halter top dress I picked out to wear buying it.She picked out a sleeveless dress and I thought she looked good in it.Going to a cousin of mine's wedding on the 24th.

 

Ohh, that's so exciting!!! I'm so happy for you and everyone involved!

 

In celebration of that, I'm going to open up a little more to both you and everyone in a way I didn't expect to. (I can't think of anything else I could possibly offer, so I'll offer some of myself with some "naked" honesty. I hope it doesn't come across as self-centered, because that's not how I intend it).

 

This unaltered photo (aside from blanking out the other lady's face), is what I wore to the last wedding I attended:

 

 

 

1234561.thumb.jpg.2b62a510db98af7948b3db8736f43bc4.jpg

 

I certainly recognize: that's not a bad looking photo of a "guy" at all!! And I felt sincerely grateful that I was graciously permitted to not wear a full suit and tie, but simply a dressy male shirt, shoes and pants. And yet, if there's anything that's ever given me dysphoria, this unaltered photo of me (especially the non-cropped version showing the other women in attendance wearing their beautiful dresses and shoes) is certainly it!

 

That was a few years ago, after a ton of weight loss but before I let myself gain it all back, plus more. The smile was very fake and brief. I know it wasn't about me, and it was supposed to be a happy occasion for others, but it still managed to be one of the worst days of my life, for...a wide variety of reasons. (Although, in a way, it eventually turned into one of the best days, because it lead to me being an uncle (secretly aunt?) to two beautiful baby girls, both of whom I adore absolutely.)

 

At this point, my head-hair is a lot longer (a little past shoulder-length, I always hated that butch-cut, as economical as it was), and my face right now is all stubbley and non-beardy from a recent (fruitful) experiment in curiosity. (And also puffy from the weight gain the beard normally hides - My brother has an interesting theory that facial hair is "male cleavage". I have a different theory: Facial hair is male makeup. They're both good at drawing the eye to areas of emphasis, and distracting the eye from other things (like the bags under my eyes!))

 

It's my own incredibly roundabout way of saying it, @KendraML. But I'm so happy for both you and the guests of honor!!! Congrats to all!!

 

 

1234561.jpg

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I tried to come out to someone I've known for thirty years today. I have no idea what she will say or if she will say anything. I am worried I will lose this friendship but relieved to have finally let her know. I also got to chat with a friend that is a psychologist. I expressed my concern over my neighbors being so trans-phobic. He lives here and told me that he knows there is a group of individuals that want our schools to stop educating the kids on acceptance and equality. This is beyond disagreeing with another person's life. I get this sinking feeling the more I think of how many kids are going to be used as weapons against each other because adults want to be stubborn and hateful. Regardless of all of that I am going to stay positive that there can be a peaceful outcome. I will do my best to be ready for anything that happens I suppose. What else can I do? If there was ever a time that I wondered why I need to talk to my local pride groups, it would be this. I can tolerate everyone around me hating me but, not the kids that have their whole lives ahead of them and already have enough to worry about. I wish I was better prepared for this. 

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@Heather Nicole Your male persona shown in that wedding pic has the same length of facial hair and same hair style I had for a few years. It was very easy maintenance and fairly comfortable too.

 

I know how hard it is to reveal something like this. I didn’t show any images of my male persona until my one year anniversary on HRT. You looked very handsome.

 

Thanks for sharing,

Susan R?

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Good morning everyone, my coffee ️ is a hotel choice blend. Warm, flavorful, but weak.  My Suzie and I are on vacation seeing the Fall colors o Northern Michigan the M-22 Circle has so much to offer. Even with the COVID-19 restrictions shop keepers are being positive. I'm no longer calling my COVID mask a mask... It's my Vail, because, the pronouns mam, she, and ladies were used when strangers referred to us all day long. Androgynous Fem presentations are working.

 

My Suzie is starting to own the ?️‍? LGBTQ relationship we're in. 

 

Hugs for you all,

 

Mindy???

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    • Willow
      @KymmieL I think we all have had to deal with a person who would not apologize when they were wrong no matter what.  In my case it was my MIL. Actually called me a lier I front of my wife.  Even when she realized she was wrong she wouldn’t admit it to my wife, nor would she apologize to my wife for any of the things she later admitted she had done that affected my wife.  I had a boss that accused me of saying things I did not say in a manner I did not use.  Even another employee told him that I had not said the things nor used the words but he still refused to back down.     Unfortunately, all too many people in this world believe they are always right no matter what.  Some are very famous.  lol   Willow    
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    • Nonexistent
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      Welcome to the forums, Blake!! We are happy that you found us!!
    • Mmindy
      Good evening Blake.   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
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      Thank you.    Trans men and trans women each have their own struggles for sure, but I agree, it can be a hard time to be a non-passing trans guy. There is no specific "man clothes" that only men wear. People could just think I'm butch (which sucks to think about, if people think I'm a lesbian when I'm a dude!!). I mean I would feel better if I got gendered correctly even if I don't fully pass, it would maybe raise my confidence to think maybe I do pass well lol! Instead I'm just reminded I don't.   Though I may just focus on the times I don't pass and ignore the times that I do. Because I rarely remember getting gendered correctly, but I hone in on the times that I don't. 
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      Sorry it took me a while to respond!    I would like to get to know you. :) I only have mental disabilities. Schizoaffective disorder, depression, and anxiety. The last two are severe and very treatment-resistant. I did have physical problems for some time, but it was caused by an antipsychotic medication (Invega). It basically crippled me, muscle weakness/fatigue, basically could barely walk (used mobility devices) and doctors were useless since they didn't suspect the medication I was on! I've finally ditched antipsychotics (hopefully for good, unless my symptoms come back). I usually don't share like this, especially in person, but hey, I'm anonymous. :)   I'm not expecting reciprocation at all btw, these things are personal. There is more to us than disabilities, so tell me about yourself if you still wanna talk!
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      @KymmieLWOW! He is absolutely horrible! Definitely one of the worst boss's. 
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