Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Bri2020]

I really do need to just stay logged in. I keep missing a few days and am overwhelmed by all the posts I miss.  Bobbiescott I am sad to hear about your struggles. I can't imagine what you are going through but know that you have a lot of support here at least.

 

So I lead a double life unrelated to my trans status.  I'm a Miami Dolphins super fan. (Phin Fett) You know-one of those crazy people who dress up to the extreme and are down right next to field screaming and carrying on.  I have built up thousands of "friends" on that persona's FB page and while I have used it to post some of my more liberal opinions in the past I never came out to that community. Most of the people who follow me are , lets just say, on the deeply conservative and southern blue collar side of things. Historically not our biggest group of allies.  I decided I need to step out and stop hiding. I've always tried to use my influence and notoriety to try and open some minds to my world views but fear of being attacked personally online as well as ruining game days kept me in the closet in that community.   On Sunday I used National Coming Out day to announce who I really was.  I've decided to be a bit of an activist. Much to my surprise I received 100s of likes and no real hate. Only one person commented negatively and he was lambasted by all the people supporting me. I've actually gained friends instead of losing them as expected on FB.  It was a very uplifting experience.  My wife seeing I did that also used her personal FB page to announce our journey together in my transitioning.  That post got over 100 comments of love and support and nearly 200 positive "likes/loves etc".  She has a lot of conservative people following her since she's a business coach/writer and was a little nervous but even them were congratulatory.  It does give me such hope that support for our community, at least when someone "knows a trans person" has come a long way.  The more of us that are "out" and people get to know us for who we are, the more people will have personal connections to the trans world and are less likely to hate out of ignorance.

As we go through this tumultuous time, I feel encouraged that no matter what happens in the election/supreme court confirmations, the majority of people will not let us be abused legally anymore and will go to bat for us.

So, here's to becoming the first openly transgender NFL SuperFan.  Let the activism begin.

[Heather Shay]

Glad you were received with such an outpouring of love Willow.

[Heather Nicole]

@Bri2020 That's amazing to hear! Very encouraging.

 

[KathyLauren]

@Bri2020 Congratulations on coming out to that group!  I think you are right about how being out and visible helps to normalize our existence and make life easier for those who come after us.

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

I think you are right about how being out and visible helps to normalize our existence and make life easier for those who come after us.

I want to think this as well.

This is one reason I do go out in public even though I'm probably clocked as soon as I step out the door.

Of course I am selective about where I go.  It was really hard at first, but gets easier.  I even plan on going to vote as myself instead of doing the mail thing.  I doubt that anyone will assault an old transwoman, even in this town.

(Least I hope not)

[DeeDee]

@Bri2020 Love the outfit  but now you're out you should defnitely go for an orange Billie/hostess kilt to show off your legs! (and you can always wear tights underneath if the temp drops) Well done on coming out to so many folks!

 

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, DeeDee said:

@Bri2020 Love the outfit  but now you're out you should defnitely go for an orange Billie/hostess kilt to show off your legs! (and you can always wear tights underneath if the temp drops) Well done on coming out to so many folks!

 

That's pretty much my plan!  I had that kilt custom woven before my transition and 45 lbs heavier so my goal is to take it to a seamstress to have it deconstructed and resewn into a just above the knee pleated skirt.  It was an obscene amount of money to have made originally so I'm hoping I can do this.  It weighs a ton (6 yds of wool) and I would like a lighter skirt from it.

[Willow]

My son and I got matching custom kilts made in Scotland and picked them in Edinburgh two years ago.

 

Today my wife and I went to Chico’s she bought a couple of outfits.  I found a dress on the clearance rack.  I got an originally $100 dress for $18 fits nice looks nice.

 

times change 

 

Willow 

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, Willow said:

 I found a dress on the clearance rack.  I got an originally $100 dress for $18 fits nice looks nice.

nice score

[Abi]

10 hours ago, Willow said:

you don’t say if the women that talked to you about trans kids knew you were tg, but I’m assuming not.

I didn't tell them but They had to have seen my long nails and hair. I had mascara on but lucky for me I had sunglasses on when I walked up to talk to them. I wearing high rise skinny jeans but, I had a black hoodie on that day so who knows what they thought. I wasn't about to offer. They made me stomach ill just listening to them cut children down. 

 

Your friends had every right to be upset with how they were being treated and I'm sorry to hear that for them. 

[Mmindy]

10 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Mindy, are you staying at the Grand hotel? Even growing up in Michigan I have only been to Mackinac Island once when I younger. Last year was the first time I have crossed the big Mack. in over 25 yrs.

No, they have a dress code after 6:00PM and we don’t do dress codes while on vacation. We’re staying at the Lake View Hotel. We will be eating lunch at the Grand Hotel tomorrow and tour the hotel and grounds then. We made the 8 mile bike ride around the island this afternoon. 

[KendraML]

Had a word with a now ex co worker of mine,he did harass and call a transgender patient a word I will not mention.Then I looked at his record,did it twice last year and told him he was let go.Boss told me to do it.This patient was glad it was taken care of right away.Also learned I am the same way as her,living and dressing as female fulltime

 

[Abi]

2 hours ago, KendraML said:

Had a word with a now ex co worker of mine,he did harass and call a transgender patient a word I will not mention.Then I looked at his record,did it twice last year and told him he was let go.Boss told me to do it.This patient was glad it was taken care of right away.Also learned I am the same way as her,living and dressing as female fulltime

 

That was really great of you to do that and not let it go without making sure they were protected. 

[Ivy]

?

[Heather Nicole]

3 hours ago, KendraML said:

Had a word with a now ex co worker of mine,he did harass and call a transgender patient a word I will not mention.Then I looked at his record,did it twice last year and told him he was let go.

 

Glad it hear it! (But not the harassment part, of course!)

[Heather Nicole]

On 10/12/2020 at 6:04 PM, KendraML said:

Finding out Allison did good at school dressed as female for the first time.Her friends did call her by Allison right away.Her teachers,been great to her as well.I also ordered some new clothes this morning and my wife found out,she took it well and knew I needed new skirts for work anyway.

 

I have to admit, I'm a teensy bit envious of Allison I would be on could nine. and I'm sure she is too. This is all sooo sweet! Oh, to be born in this day and age. I used to hope I could check out early and be reborn a cis girl asap. Now, I hope to make the most of this life and be reborn as another transgirl who has such wonderful support at such an early coming-out!

 

19 hours ago, Ann W said:

Telling mom might be a good topic for your new therapist,

 

You know, sometimes it takes an outside perspective just for us to see what's right in front of our faces! That hadn't even occurred to me, but you're absolutely right!

 

@Willow Thanks for your thoughts and support!

 

[KendraML]

2 hours ago, Abi said:

That was really great of you to do that and not let it go without making sure they were protected. 

I know a slap on the wrist is not an answer.This patient even thanked me for taking care of it the right way

[KendraML]

1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

 

Glad it hear it! (But not the harassment part, of course!)

Got with my boss on it and told me to fire him

[Heather Nicole]

I may have said something along these lines before, but I think it bears repeating:

 

I am SOOO incredibly grateful to this community. Even though I was rarely ever fully, consciously aware of just how much I was dreaming to be a girl, or how much I was always self-censoring to "fit in", I could never have imagined getting to be part of a place where I could be perfectly confident to let all of my femme side out, and not only face no backlash, but even be rewarded for it.

 

Thank you, everyone! *mwah*! ?

[Elizabeth Star]

3 hours ago, KendraML said:

Had a word with a now ex co worker of mine,he did harass and call a transgender patient a word I will not mention.Then I looked at his record,did it twice last year and told him he was let go.Boss told me to do it.This patient was glad it was taken care of right away.Also learned I am the same way as her,living and dressing as female fulltime

I'm happy to hear it was delt with swiftly.

1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

I used to hope I could check out early and be reborn a cis girl asap.

I tried several times. In the end I was reborn, just not cis.

 

[Heather Nicole]

1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

I used to hope I could check out early and be reborn a cis girl asap.

I tried several times. In the end I was reborn, just not cis.

 

I wanted to try, but was too afraid of both a successful attempt and of a failed attempt. I have a history of being paralyzed by fear (I guess for once it worked out in my favor!). I'm very glad, and proud, to be past it now, as I'm sure you are.

 

It's funny how as cruel as life can be, sometimes, through pain, life manages to give us something better than what we thought we wanted. Or at least that's how I decide to see it!

[Elizabeth Star]

Today was the big day for my wife. She's finally getting her Hickman line removed. Before we left she asked me to change my shirt. The one I was wearing, that I wore to work, has a big white skull on it made with a doily pattern with heart shaped eyes. She said it was too fem and didn't want her doctor to know I'm trans. So I wore a tight gray t-shirt with a broken zipper having fleece jacket (I can't zipper it, I can't cover up) but she did not ask me to take off my makeup this time.

 

First we saw the doctor, then we went downstairs to wait for a room to open. During our 2-1/2 hour wait we talked, I fell asleep on her shoulder, we went to get something to eat. I've been feeling pretty confident with how I look, especially with a mask but while I was waiting for our food she just had to yell my dead-name across the restaurant to ask me what I had gotten to drink.  It's funny. No one even looked at me.

 

We went back to waiting. There was one woman still there from earlier. A few minutes later she got called for her room. She looked at us and said "Good luck ladies". I could feel the puzzled  look on my wife's face.

 

A little while later we were called. We were taken the back, staff only, way to the room. At one point the elevator stopped and picked up a nurse with a patient on a bed. When the nurse got to her floor, on her way off she said "have a nice day ladies and gentleman" Our escort was the gentlemen. That look on my wife's face. I don't think she knows how to feel about it. Granted I had a mask on but I passed twice in a row. It made my day.

 

By the time the doctor came to the room I was sweating bullets and had my jacket off. Oh well....

[Elizabeth Star]

1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

I'm very glad, and proud, to be past it now, as I'm sure you are.

I am and I'm happy your past it too. I don't even think about it anymore.

[KendraML]

2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

4 hours ago, KendraML said:

Had a word with a now ex co worker of mine,he did harass and call a transgender patient a word I will not mention.Then I looked at his record,did it twice last year and told him he was let go.Boss told me to do it.This patient was glad it was taken care of right away.Also learned I am the same way as her,living and dressing as female fulltime

I'm happy to hear it was delt with swiftly.

I don't go by the slap on the wrist on situations like this,boss and I had a talk on this telling me let him go

[Mmindy]

23 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Michigan I have only been to Mackinac Island once when I younger. Last year was the first time I have crossed the big Mack. in over 25 yrs.