Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Ann W]

Hi Heather,

You know what, I found Walmart to be good for trying out different kinds of jewelry, just to see what looks good on you.  Two of my favorite pairs of earrings were $2.88 each there.  A third pair weren't happening, So kept the backs and tossed them.  They'll have like 4 or 5 different lengths of neck chain on a card for 6 or 8 dollars.  It's helping me discover my style with minimal risk.

Ebay is great for that hard to find stuff.  I got an extra key for my steamer trunk there, and It's from 1924.

?

[Heather Nicole]

9 hours ago, Aidan5 said:

I just wanted to remind everyone that you have survived 100% of all your bad days!!!! So stay strong >:DD

 

That is an excellent point, Aidan! Well worth keeping in mind. Thanks for sharing that!

 

@ElizabethStar: That bracelet is very nice and it was so sweet of her to make it for you!

 

@Jackie C.: I love Ghost in the Machine Batou would be such a great friend! A nice prosthetic body (with camouflage!) would be much simpler than all this transitioning I'm not sure my insurance covers it though...

 

So, everyone! Pretty late in my day for coffee now, but I had kind of a roller coaster day. This morning I was in just a rotten mood No real reason, really, just "up on the wrong side of the bed" I guess, and not enough sleep. Lots of "impostor syndrome", frustration at still not hearing back from the counselor I was hoping to start seeing (maybe I typed an email address wrong? Twice?) And besides, these morning shifts are just killer on ol' night owl me. Oh, and while I was still groggy (just couldn't wake up) one of our first patrons of the day was wearing a certain hat that...well, I won't describe it, but you can imagine, and that just cemented my mood. (This is a very politically mixed area, which can be both a blessing and a curse. Kind of envy you west coast-ers. Except for the fires. And the high covid rate. And the small-ish earthquake, apparently? And the...my god, just how much do you all have to deal over there with this year!?)

 

I think another part of the trouble was that after the euphoria from successfully coming out to my mom died down, I realized I still felt like it wasn't quite time yet to be FULLY open around her. She's still only seen my basic black ponytail holders (although I did also show her my trans-flag pride scrunchie.) I don't even have a full female persona built up to present as "Here I am!" I realize maybe I shouldn't worry about this, but I worry about taking things around home too fast for her. I've always been very sensitive, and she means a lot to me.

 

Buuuut....then there was an upside to the day! After I finished work and got cleanup up (and took a very much needed nap!), a package arrived. After my mom went to bed, I opened it up, and it was the dress I ordered!!!  My very first one, I've been so itching to get to try wearing one for a while now.

 

I had found a company on Amazon called Alicepub that offers custom-order dress sizes at no extra cost. They're still pretty far from thrift-store prices, and they only offer very-dressy styles (their range appears to go from cocktail party to bridesmaid). But, I've been wanting to try on a dress so badly, and I didn't feel like dealing with trying to find "my size" in a sea of clothes not designed for my body shape anyway, so I did the best I could taking my own measurements and I splurged. And it finally came today. Doesn't really go with my face and facial/body hair, but...eehhh...all in due time.

 

So here I am!! Still happily wearing it as I type this!:

 

 

Aside from the awareness that my self-measurement skills have a little room for improvement, this feels soo much nicer and more "right" for me than that awful (though not bad-looking) male outfit I suffered through from the picture I posted of the last wedding I attended.

 

This makes me feel like a Disney princess  All I need now is a nice pair of ultra-wide size 15 shoes, some HRT, FFS, electrolysis, either hemming or learning how to walk in this full-length thing, taking care of that farmer's tan on my arms, more coming out, and an invitation to be a bridesmaid at a wedding that's chosen this exact dress, and I'm all set! Simple!

 

[Heather Nicole]

2 hours ago, Ann W said:

You know what, I found Walmart to be good for trying out different kinds of jewelry, just to see what looks good on you.  Two of my favorite pairs of earrings were $2.88 each there.  A third pair weren't happening, So kept the backs and tossed them.  They'll have like 4 or 5 different lengths of neck chain on a card for 6 or 8 dollars.  It's helping me discover my style with minimal risk.

 

Oooh! I do want earrings. I've wanted pierced ears for a long while now, but was afraid of giving off the impression I was looking for guys. I have no problem with that sort of thing, of course (I love guy-guy couples because I can feel genuinely happy for them without that pesky envy creeping in). I just don't like people misunderstanding me.

 

Of course, if I transition full time to female, I suppose I'll have to get used to people assuming I'm interested in guys! Ehh, but that's what a cubic-zircon "guy-repellent" on the right finger is for

[Ann W]

Right on!  A new dress!  Good timing.  That's a really nice gown, and it looks just great on you.  Like your hair too.  Now your wardrobe is under way.

 

You know, there's lots you can do to ease your mom into the idea, rather than hitting her with the ball gown right off the bat.  Like getting your ears pierced.  I'm kind of feminizing from the inside out around my colleagues.  Body getting more relaxed, gestures getting more feminine, voice gradually rising, hair getting longer, wearing more hair accessories.  I figure one day they'll just say "didn't you use to be a guy?"

?

[Heather Nicole]

1 hour ago, Ann W said:

Right on!  A new dress!  Good timing.  That's a really nice gown, and it looks just great on you.  Like your hair too.  Now your wardrobe is under way.

 

Aww, thanks What I find is neat is, wearing this, with the sparkly headband (I love headbands), if I look real, real close in the mirror, I don't even see so much of a guy in drag. I see a glimmer of a happy shining gal, that just has some facial/body hair issues to take care of. (And, ok, a big nose if I look from the side...egghh...)

 

1 hour ago, Ann W said:

You know, there's lots you can do to ease your mom into the idea, rather than hitting her with the ball gown right off the bat.  Like getting your ears pierced.  I'm kind of feminizing from the inside out around my colleagues.  Body getting more relaxed, gestures getting more feminine, voice gradually rising, hair getting longer, wearing more hair accessories.  I figure one day they'll just say "didn't you use to be a guy?"

 

I like that! Heck, I've already been permitting myself more and more feminine gestures, even at work. It just feels so natural and comfy, and now that I'm long past high school, nobody's said anything so far. (It feels comfy and warm like that adorable photo of Chuck Mangione on the "Feels so Good" album cover )

 

And you know what? The ear piercings sound like a good idea after all! Heck, the Linus Tech Tips guy has some! And I can't imagine anyone questioning him! I just might do that...Hmm...I wonder what choices of studs they'd have...

[Elizabeth Star]

7 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

I love Ghost in the Machine Batou would be such a great friend! A nice prosthetic body (with camouflage!) would be much simpler than all this transitioning I'm not sure my insurance covers it though...

What do you have in princess models?

7 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

So here I am!! Still happily wearing it as I type this!:

 

Although I can't see your face, the rest of you looks pretty cis.

5 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

I've already been permitting myself more and more feminine gestures, even at work. It just feels so natural and comfy,

Yes! Be yourself.

 

5 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

And you know what? The ear piercings sound like a good idea after all! Heck, the Linus Tech Tips guy has some! And I can't imagine anyone questioning him! I just might do that...Hmm...I wonder what choices of studs they'd have...

I found it can be addictive. I got my first when I was 15, now I have nine. I love to mix and match my earrings. It's kind of like wearing two different color socks.

 

Good morning everyone.

 

I'm out of coffee again, so I'm drinking tea for the 3rd morning in a row. I think part of me likes it.

Have to get cleaned up and go down to the hospital. My wife is supposed to be getting out today. The infusion pump and Hickman line have been removed. I going with black leggings and hoodie with a long gray tank to camouflage the....well, you know.

 

Have a great day!

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

 

I'm out of coffee again, so I'm drinking tea for the 3rd morning in a row. I think part of me likes it.

Have to get cleaned up and go down to the hospital. My wife is supposed to be getting out today. The infusion pump and Hickman line have been removed. I going with black leggings and hoodie with a long gray tank to camouflage the....well, you know.

 

Have a great day!

Noooo, stay with coffee!! Do I need to ship you some . 

Happy to hear your wife's doing better and coming home.  

[Bri2020]

8 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

 

Oooh! I do want earrings. I've wanted pierced ears for a long while now, but was afraid of giving off the impression I was looking for guys.

I think that's just fear talking, People don't care about earrings anymore, everyone has them.  I asked my sone about that because he got his ears pierced last year and honestly- he's a 20 something actor who could be an abercrombie model so I figured he would get stereotyped and hit on by guys and he said no one has said a thing or behaved differently to him. He so dated me by saying "It's not the 90s anymore you know". lol

I went out and got mine pierced right after coming out to my wife and kids. It was the first "right of passage" I did to help me feel more feminine and it was amazing how it made me feel with those glittery studs in my ears.  

 

As far as dresses the first one I ordered was this from amazon.  It comes in a lot of looks and up to 6XL plus sized. Only $35 at most and they feel so nice and comfy.  https://www.amazon.com/BISHUIGE-Womens-Sleeve-Dresses-Pockets/dp/B08937B9FH/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=maxi+dresses+for+women+plus+size+5xl&qid=1602938811&sr=8-3

Makes a great "around the house" dress 

[Ivy]

11 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

Oooh! I do want earrings. I've wanted pierced ears for a long while now, but was afraid of giving off the impression I was looking for guys.

Like others have already mentioned, plenty of guys have pierced ears these days.  It doesn't mean much one way or the other.  My oldest son has had them for years and nobody in their right mind would think he was looking for guys.

Have you thought about using clip-ons, just to see what it would be like?

Not quite the same, but…

[KymmieL]

I've had my ears pierced since about 96. Never had any problems.  I eventually want to get more, done. 

 

Kymmie 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

I've had my ears pierced since about 96. Never had any problems.  I eventually want to get more, done. 

 

Kymmie 

 

Just more ear piercings or are you going to branch out? I've thought about my ears, but my sister-in-law has some piercings that make me cringe just thinking about them. I'd call them out, but they're not PG-13 so...

 

Hugs!

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Just more ear piercings or are you going to branch out?

I still  can't stop thinking about my nose.  

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Jandi said:

I still  can't stop thinking about my nose.  

 

You're probably OK. I doubt @KymmieL will pierce your nose.

 

Hugs!

[Elizabeth Star]

I so want to pierce my nose and get another tattoo. 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

I so want to pierce my nose and get another tattoo. 

 

I promised myself a shoulder tattoo if I hit my goal weight. Eighteen pounds and counting down.

 

Hugs!

[Heather Nicole]

6 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I'm out of coffee again, so I'm drinking tea for the 3rd morning in a row. I think part of me likes it.

 

Even aside from the caffeine (which I try to go very, very light on anyway, don't need any more anxiety), I still need a steady supply of coffee. It's too delicious. But I do love a nice cup of tea too, I don't drink it often enough. My favorites are sencha and the ones that combine green tea with mint and lemongrass, but there's a lot of good ones out there.

 

5 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I asked my sone about that because he got his ears pierced last year and honestly- he's a 20 something actor who could be an abercrombie model so I figured he would get stereotyped and hit on by guys and he said no one has said a thing or behaved differently to him. He so dated me by saying "It's not the 90s anymore you know". lol

 

Hah, yea, that's one of many things I'm finding that make me feel old. I still have trouble dissociating "90's" from "modern day".

 

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

but my sister-in-law has some piercings that make me cringe just thinking about them. I'd call them out, but they're not PG-13 so...

 

I actually do have a non-PG-13 one (I won't go into detail, family-friendly forum and all). Wanted it since college and finally got it a few years ago. I like how easy it is to hide. It's just for me, myself, and nobody has to know. Don't always wear it though, but I definitely like having it.

 

There's other less explicit body piercings I've been wanting for a long time, too. A couple of them I was almost ready to get earlier this year, but then I hesitated worrying about being able to hide them, and then covid hit and social distancing...

 

[Heather Nicole]

1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

I so want to pierce my nose and get another tattoo. 

 

I know a young gal who works at a library and has a tattoo of a book on the top of her foot. I always thought that was the absolute coolest tattoo. It made me want it too, but I don't want to feel like I'm just copying her, so I need to figure out what else to have put there. Maybe a butterfly for "transformation".

 

I'm intrigued by septum piercings. I can't quite decide how I feel about how they look (although I did come across at least one young gal I thought it looked fantastic on), but I'm so intrigued by how it would feel to have one. Might make nose-blowing harder, though...

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

Might make nose-blowing harder, though...

Yeah… that could be problematic 

[Elizabeth Star]

I'm thinking this would be the time for anyone to get nose or lip piercings. Being covered with a mask no one would know for a long time.

4 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

Maybe a butterfly for "transformation".

I've been wanting one on my left shoulder-blade for the same reason but thought it might look a little odd since 3 of my 4 are dragons.

[Willow]

I’ve had a viable MA princely piercing for 10 plus years.  Did the reverse, let it go, did it again, let it go again.  Did a triple triangle and let it go too.  I think I was into the pain as part of my dysphoria before I knew the truth.

 

did my ears four years ago.  I’d like to do a second set eventually.  
 

Willow

[KymmieL]

@Jackie C. I was thinking ears, maybe another one or two in the lobe. an industrial. maybe treagus. Like you when I get to were it would look good, I want to get my navel done.

 

As for nose why be like the rest of the sheep. It seems like just about every girl you see over the age of 10 has their nose done.

 

I have had some below the neck. Taken them all out. All have closed but one.

 

Kymmie

[Heather Nicole]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Like you when I get to were it would look good, I want to get my navel done.

 

Ooh, that's actually one of the (several) things that even led to me questioning my gender. In college, I would get so envious of the gorgeous gals with flat stomachs and sparkly, sometimes dangly navel jewelry (especially the dangly ones). Getting one of those was (and still is) one of my most frequent endings to this common thought pattern: "Man, if I were a girl, I would so totally...(blank)!" My big gut is the other thing that's kept me from getting one.

[Heather Nicole]

11 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Although I can't see your face, the rest of you looks pretty cis.

 

Really, you think so? 

 

The face definitely ruins the effect though. I'm still not ready to show my face together with woman's clothes, but at the same time, I did find it hard to edit out the huge smile I was wearing! Maybe someday I'll show the whole thing in a retrospective timeline or something...

[Heather Nicole]

17 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

As far as dresses the first one I ordered was this from amazon.  It comes in a lot of looks and up to 6XL plus sized. Only $35 at most and they feel so nice and comfy.  https://www.amazon.com/BISHUIGE-Womens-Sleeve-Dresses-Pockets/dp/B08937B9FH/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=maxi+dresses+for+women+plus+size+5xl&qid=1602938811&sr=8-3

Makes a great "around the house" dress 

 

Thanks for the tip! I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of long sleeves, or even sleeves in general. But I'll definitely take a very close look at the the rest of that brand's offerings.

[JustineM]

Morning everyone. Currently consuming anti-zombie juice to wake up. Then have to refigure my plans for the day. I was going to be working on the roof and some other house work but cold rain came in. So it may be grocery shopping and maybe work on my cosplay armor. What’s your plans for the day?