Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Mmindy]

3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I'm just going to, at my own risk, assume she has finally settled with idea that she married a trans-girl.

Good morning everyone,

 

That's great Liz.

 

I slept in today, and just now sipping coffee as the birds are on their second round of feeding this morning. Redwing Blackbirds are back the two pairs of Bluebirds are still visiting the mealworm feeder. No other new birds have been noticed. 

 

My Suzie is more comfortable talking about my transition with me now that she can also bounce ideas, and heart ache to her sister and brother-in-law.  We're still living like roommates for now and I hope she able to be closer physically as time passes.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Personally, I have done this, but not on a regular basis.  I'm not too intense when I do it (kinda a dry shave) so it results more in a thinning operation.  So I do have some hair on my arms - just not a lot.  What has grown back is softer and thinner, I suppose due to the E and reduced T.  It's not really noticeable, but there.

[Mmindy]

3 hours ago, Linda Marie said:

I did manage to go out into the freezing your butt off cold to feed the birds.

Darn birds don't seem to care about how cold it is.

So that has been the start of my day. So good, so far!!!

That's great Linda,

 

I have a few feeders that I keep filled year round, but during the Winter months I hang several more to support their energy levels. Birdwatching is a calming time for me as I plan my day, or bring it to a close. My Suzie is a Squirrel fan so we keep a feeder for them too.

 

Hugs 

 

Mindy???

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, Mmindy said:

I have a few feeders that I keep filled year round, but during the Winter months I hang several more to support their energy levels. Birdwatching is a calming time for me as I plan my day, or bring it to a close. My Suzie is a Squirrel fan so we keep a feeder for them too.

I do this too.   I like to watch them.  It's gotten to where I feel obligated to feed them in cold weather.

I have a hanging feeder, but I also scatter sunflower seed in the yard for the larger ones.  The squirrels of course take advantage as well.

[Mmindy]

5 hours ago, Jandi said:

 It's gotten to where I feel obligated to feed them in cold weather.

Good afternoon Jandi,

 

I put out large yard feeders in the Winter, and keep smaller ones close to the windows the rest of the year. We have two new cats, and the birds have to get use to them being in the window looking at them. In time the birds will pay no attention to them being there.

 

Mindy???

[Confused1]

9 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Yesterday was my wife's birthday. 

I had fully expected to be asked to change before her brother came over but when the time came she said I looked fine and I don't need to change.

Later we were all just hanging out, talking, drinking wine and somehow (I think my wife just threw it out there) that I'm (me) the girl in the relationship and she's the boy since she's such a tom-boy and hates dressing up and having to put on face.

I'm just going to, at my own risk, assume she has finally settled with idea that she married a trans-girl.

 

This is fantastic Liz! I know my wife was all over the place and then one day it just seemed to make sense to her.

 

Hugs,

Mike

[2beBreanna]

@ElizabethStar Sounds like you finally have support from your wife. That's great!  I've tried saying I am more girl than my wife once..well.. it did not end good.  That was one of the few times we had negative conversations about me being trans.  

 

Today we went out with her mother to some stores looking for yard decor mostly.  We ended up going to an outlet mall that had a Vera Bradley store. I fell in love with on of their new patterns and so did my wife.  I tried getting a backpack purse. That was shot down but we ended up with a cute regular style purse we will share.  

 

I keep my arms and legs shaved all the time.  My face is my biggest concern.  The hair grows slowly so if I try to shave daily it looks bad cause I can't get a close shave.  So I end up having to wait at least 3 days but then it's a little longer and can't stand stubble for those days.  I decided to wait on laser or anything until hrt has an effect on hair growth.  Hoping it will lessen the amount of sessions needed.

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, 2beBreanna said:

@ElizabethStar Sounds like you finally have support from your wife. That's great!  I've tried saying I am more girl than my wife once..well.. it did not end good.  That was one of the few times we had negative conversations about me being trans.  

 

Today we went out with her mother to some stores looking for yard decor mostly.  We ended up going to an outlet mall that had a Vera Bradley store. I fell in love with on of their new patterns and so did my wife.  I tried getting a backpack purse. That was shot down but we ended up with a cute regular style purse we will share.  

 

I keep my arms and legs shaved all the time.  My face is my biggest concern.  The hair grows slowly so if I try to shave daily it looks bad cause I can't get a close shave.  So I end up having to wait at least 3 days but then it's a little longer and can't stand stubble for those days.  I decided to wait on laser or anything until hrt has an effect on hair growth.  Hoping it will lessen the amount of sessions needed.

Well you should have known better than to challenge her womanhood. You probably would have responded the same.

 

I love that you two can share. I don't know if my wife would be so accommodating.

 

I normally didn't have to shave for 2 days. Tomorrow I'm going to try out my electrolysis machine. It's been about a week since I pulled all my face hairs. About half of them are 1/4" long now. The instructions say that it only works well on new growth.

[KymmieL]

I am more girly than my wife. She is a tomboy.

 

Well my son came into the store and finally seen me in my new shirt. Of course he starts in at home, Kim possible and other BS I just ignored him. Don't know if he told my wife. If he did She hasn't brought it up.

 

Hope to find some info tomorrow on the transfer. Even news on the possibility of leaving would be something.

 

Got the bike out today. Felt good to ride again. Even if it was around town.

 

Kymmie

[Bri2020]

20 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Ok, I'm inserting a new subject.

I just started shaving my arms 2 days ago. I kept looking at my arms and kept thinking that this doesn't look right, so I did something about it. My wife thinks I'm being silly. She said that most girls don't shave their arms. (This coming from someone who hasn't had any hair on her arms for over 20 years). I told her "Well, this girl does". 

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Body hair in general triggers me. I used to basically do hair removal on most of my body including the arms.  I was pretty darn hairy, although being red it wasn't as noticable to people when I was presenting male. Yes, she's right, most women don't but you will see some do it, especially mediterranean descent women if they are cursed with a lot of hair.  Women's hair on the arms/body is usually fine villus hair and less densely arranged though.   6 months of HRT has reduced my body hair (although chest hair still growth pretty fast) and my arm hair doesn't trigger me as much.  It's been about 2 months since I last dealth with the arms and I'm probably due since it's getting pretty long again.

[Bri2020]

@ElizabethStarI'm just catching up on all the posts and saw the news about you and your wife and apparent progress there. The wall thing especially was awesome to here. I'm so happy for you and I'm sending energy your alls way for continued progress.  There's probably going to be a few backward steps along the way but you all seem to be travelling the right direction.

Hugs

Bri

[Elizabeth Star]

2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

There's probably going to be a few backward steps along the way but you all seem to be travelling the right direction.

I'm sure there will some back sliding but I figured out why it's been so hard for her. She's been trying to accept everything all at once.Where in contrast I've been working through things one step at a time. Both ways work. It's just easier to see progress and immediate change my way. Her's is dumping a lot of acceptance, I thought I wouldn't get, on me at one time.

 

 

[Bri2020]

Happy Internations Womens Day Ladies!!!

[Drayse]

4 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Her's is dumping a lot of acceptance, I thought I wouldn't get, on me at one time.

If that's what she's doing then she's probably been doing her best but has perhaps overwhelmed herself. I hope she has support groups that can help her, I know support groups for trans people's spouses can be hard to find.

[Drayse]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Happy Internations Womens Day Ladies!!!

Happy International Working Women's Day!

[Linda Marie]

1 hour ago, Drayse said:

If that's what she's doing then she's probably been doing her best but has perhaps overwhelmed herself. I hope she has support groups that can help her, I know support groups for trans people's spouses can be hard to find.

Coming out is a big step. It is hard on both partners. For this to work as in my case, love, trust, and open communication.

One has to know what the other is thinking or how they feel and visa versa. 

I hope it turns out good for both.

 

[Willow]

@ElizabethStar @KymmieL @Lexa83   Liz I think that is great the progress made at your wife’s birthday.  I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

[Drayse]

1 hour ago, Willow said:

@ElizabethStar @KymmieL @Lexa83   Liz I think that is great the progress made at your wife’s birthday.  I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

?❤️

[Elizabeth Star]

3 hours ago, Willow said:

 I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

if it's any consultation my wife has forbidden me to change in front her. I have a feeling she will never bend on that.

[KymmieL]

Well had a knock down drag out again. With my son. My wife finally talked to someone a little more liberal than her Christian friend.  Still had a go. I actually left work.  The wife is talking family  counseling.  I am all for it. And told her so.

 

I am back at work now.  Doing as well as can be expected. 

 

I will post some more later.

 

Kymmie 

[Astrid]

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

The wife is talking family  counseling.  I am all for it. And told her so.

 

That would of course be a positive step.  Is it also a possibility to locate an experienced gender therapist (for example, before, during, after, or in place of your family counseling sessions)?  My spouse and I made it a point to jointly attend sessions with our gender therapist, and it was very helpful for both of us to learn from her long experience of working with couples working through gender issues.  It wasn't just about my spouse becoming better informed from an expert about gender concepts -- it also allowed me to better understand the dynamics of what my cisgender spouse was/is dealing with.  Family counselors often don't have direct experience with gender issues, which is why I'm mentioning this.

 

Astrid

[Confused1]

5 hours ago, Willow said:

@ElizabethStar @KymmieL @Lexa83   Liz I think that is great the progress made at your wife’s birthday.  I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

 

Sorry Willow, It was all over the place for me for awhile as well. Praying it improves!

 

Hugs,

Mike

[Jackie C.]

8 hours ago, KymmieL said:

The wife is talking family  counseling.

 

Make sure you find a counselor that works for both of you. You don't need a counselor that's going to gang up on you with her. Ask me how I know. ?

 

Hugs!

[Bri2020]

Sorry to hear that @Willow/ @KymmieL  I think it will be a roller coaster for you all.  It's tough on spouses too and they have a lot to figure out often with zero good support.  Not that it excuses anything but feelings are going to be all over the place. Counseling is great.

 

Coffee goddess I adore you and kneel before your alter this morning.

I got my second dose yesterday and all was going well until 2am when I broke a small fever and massive chills.  I suffer from a low grade tinnitus and for whatever reason it got ridiculously loud last night and I couldn't sleep.

Everything has pretty much resolved by this morning but I really needed the coffee!  If that's all the reaction I have I feel blessed.  It's a small price to pay for the benefits it provides. Looking forward to hugging my sisters , father and friends soon.  

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

coffees brewing.  I just want to thank everyone for their concerns and comments.  This as a shocker because I started on this ride 3 years ago and by all indications it was smoothing out.  So this hit to me came out of no where.

 

I don’t recall who mentioned not being allowed to undress around her wife.  It is not something I normally do.  In fact I try to dress and undress or shave and all those things away from her.  This was a freak occasion that got way out of hand.

 

time to enjoy my brew. 
 

Willow