Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I'm just going to, at my own risk, assume she has finally settled with idea that she married a trans-girl.

Good morning everyone,

 

That's great Liz.

 

I slept in today, and just now sipping coffee as the birds are on their second round of feeding this morning. Redwing Blackbirds are back the two pairs of Bluebirds are still visiting the mealworm feeder. No other new birds have been noticed. 

 

My Suzie is more comfortable talking about my transition with me now that she can also bounce ideas, and heart ache to her sister and brother-in-law.  We're still living like roommates for now and I hope she able to be closer physically as time passes.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2039

  • KymmieL

    1651

  • Mmindy

    1377

  • Ivy

    1187

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Personally, I have done this, but not on a regular basis.  I'm not too intense when I do it (kinda a dry shave) so it results more in a thinning operation.  So I do have some hair on my arms - just not a lot.  What has grown back is softer and thinner, I suppose due to the E and reduced T.  It's not really noticeable, but there.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, Linda Marie said:

I did manage to go out into the freezing your butt off cold to feed the birds.

Darn birds don't seem to care about how cold it is.

So that has been the start of my day. So good, so far!!!

That's great Linda,

 

I have a few feeders that I keep filled year round, but during the Winter months I hang several more to support their energy levels. Birdwatching is a calming time for me as I plan my day, or bring it to a close. My Suzie is a Squirrel fan so we keep a feeder for them too.

 

Hugs 

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Mmindy said:

I have a few feeders that I keep filled year round, but during the Winter months I hang several more to support their energy levels. Birdwatching is a calming time for me as I plan my day, or bring it to a close. My Suzie is a Squirrel fan so we keep a feeder for them too.

I do this too.   I like to watch them.  It's gotten to where I feel obligated to feed them in cold weather.

I have a hanging feeder, but I also scatter sunflower seed in the yard for the larger ones.  The squirrels of course take advantage as well.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, Jandi said:

 It's gotten to where I feel obligated to feed them in cold weather.

Good afternoon Jandi,

 

I put out large yard feeders in the Winter, and keep smaller ones close to the windows the rest of the year. We have two new cats, and the birds have to get use to them being in the window looking at them. In time the birds will pay no attention to them being there.

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
9 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Yesterday was my wife's birthday. 

I had fully expected to be asked to change before her brother came over but when the time came she said I looked fine and I don't need to change.

Later we were all just hanging out, talking, drinking wine and somehow (I think my wife just threw it out there) that I'm (me) the girl in the relationship and she's the boy since she's such a tom-boy and hates dressing up and having to put on face.

I'm just going to, at my own risk, assume she has finally settled with idea that she married a trans-girl.

 

This is fantastic Liz! I know my wife was all over the place and then one day it just seemed to make sense to her.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment

@ElizabethStar Sounds like you finally have support from your wife. That's great!  I've tried saying I am more girl than my wife once..well.. it did not end good.  That was one of the few times we had negative conversations about me being trans.  

 

Today we went out with her mother to some stores looking for yard decor mostly.  We ended up going to an outlet mall that had a Vera Bradley store. I fell in love with on of their new patterns and so did my wife.  I tried getting a backpack purse. That was shot down but we ended up with a cute regular style purse we will share.  

 

I keep my arms and legs shaved all the time.  My face is my biggest concern.  The hair grows slowly so if I try to shave daily it looks bad cause I can't get a close shave.  So I end up having to wait at least 3 days but then it's a little longer and can't stand stubble for those days.  I decided to wait on laser or anything until hrt has an effect on hair growth.  Hoping it will lessen the amount of sessions needed.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, 2beBreanna said:

@ElizabethStar Sounds like you finally have support from your wife. That's great!  I've tried saying I am more girl than my wife once..well.. it did not end good.  That was one of the few times we had negative conversations about me being trans.  

 

Today we went out with her mother to some stores looking for yard decor mostly.  We ended up going to an outlet mall that had a Vera Bradley store. I fell in love with on of their new patterns and so did my wife.  I tried getting a backpack purse. That was shot down but we ended up with a cute regular style purse we will share.  

 

I keep my arms and legs shaved all the time.  My face is my biggest concern.  The hair grows slowly so if I try to shave daily it looks bad cause I can't get a close shave.  So I end up having to wait at least 3 days but then it's a little longer and can't stand stubble for those days.  I decided to wait on laser or anything until hrt has an effect on hair growth.  Hoping it will lessen the amount of sessions needed.

Well you should have known better than to challenge her womanhood. You probably would have responded the same.

 

I love that you two can share. I don't know if my wife would be so accommodating.

 

I normally didn't have to shave for 2 days. Tomorrow I'm going to try out my electrolysis machine. It's been about a week since I pulled all my face hairs. About half of them are 1/4" long now. The instructions say that it only works well on new growth.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I am more girly than my wife. She is a tomboy.

 

Well my son came into the store and finally seen me in my new shirt. Of course he starts in at home, Kim possible and other BS I just ignored him. Don't know if he told my wife. If he did She hasn't brought it up.

 

Hope to find some info tomorrow on the transfer. Even news on the possibility of leaving would be something.

 

Got the bike out today. Felt good to ride again. Even if it was around town.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
20 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Ok, I'm inserting a new subject.

I just started shaving my arms 2 days ago. I kept looking at my arms and kept thinking that this doesn't look right, so I did something about it. My wife thinks I'm being silly. She said that most girls don't shave their arms. (This coming from someone who hasn't had any hair on her arms for over 20 years). I told her "Well, this girl does". 

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Body hair in general triggers me. I used to basically do hair removal on most of my body including the arms.  I was pretty darn hairy, although being red it wasn't as noticable to people when I was presenting male. Yes, she's right, most women don't but you will see some do it, especially mediterranean descent women if they are cursed with a lot of hair.  Women's hair on the arms/body is usually fine villus hair and less densely arranged though.   6 months of HRT has reduced my body hair (although chest hair still growth pretty fast) and my arm hair doesn't trigger me as much.  It's been about 2 months since I last dealth with the arms and I'm probably due since it's getting pretty long again.

Link to comment

@ElizabethStarI'm just catching up on all the posts and saw the news about you and your wife and apparent progress there. The wall thing especially was awesome to here. I'm so happy for you and I'm sending energy your alls way for continued progress.  There's probably going to be a few backward steps along the way but you all seem to be travelling the right direction.

Hugs

Bri

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

There's probably going to be a few backward steps along the way but you all seem to be travelling the right direction.

I'm sure there will some back sliding but I figured out why it's been so hard for her. She's been trying to accept everything all at once.Where in contrast I've been working through things one step at a time. Both ways work. It's just easier to see progress and immediate change my way. Her's is dumping a lot of acceptance, I thought I wouldn't get, on me at one time.

 

 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Her's is dumping a lot of acceptance, I thought I wouldn't get, on me at one time.

If that's what she's doing then she's probably been doing her best but has perhaps overwhelmed herself. I hope she has support groups that can help her, I know support groups for trans people's spouses can be hard to find.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Happy Internations Womens Day Ladies!!!

Happy International Working Women's Day!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Drayse said:

If that's what she's doing then she's probably been doing her best but has perhaps overwhelmed herself. I hope she has support groups that can help her, I know support groups for trans people's spouses can be hard to find.

Coming out is a big step. It is hard on both partners. For this to work as in my case, love, trust, and open communication.

One has to know what the other is thinking or how they feel and visa versa. 

I hope it turns out good for both.

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@ElizabethStar @KymmieL @Lexa83   Liz I think that is great the progress made at your wife’s birthday.  I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Willow said:

@ElizabethStar @KymmieL @Lexa83   Liz I think that is great the progress made at your wife’s birthday.  I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

?❤️

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Willow said:

 I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

if it's any consultation my wife has forbidden me to change in front her. I have a feeling she will never bend on that.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well had a knock down drag out again. With my son. My wife finally talked to someone a little more liberal than her Christian friend.  Still had a go. I actually left work.  The wife is talking family  counseling.  I am all for it. And told her so.

 

I am back at work now.  Doing as well as can be expected. 

 

I will post some more later.

 

Kymmie 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

The wife is talking family  counseling.  I am all for it. And told her so.

 

That would of course be a positive step.  Is it also a possibility to locate an experienced gender therapist (for example, before, during, after, or in place of your family counseling sessions)?  My spouse and I made it a point to jointly attend sessions with our gender therapist, and it was very helpful for both of us to learn from her long experience of working with couples working through gender issues.  It wasn't just about my spouse becoming better informed from an expert about gender concepts -- it also allowed me to better understand the dynamics of what my cisgender spouse was/is dealing with.  Family counselors often don't have direct experience with gender issues, which is why I'm mentioning this.

 

Astrid

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Willow said:

@ElizabethStar @KymmieL @Lexa83   Liz I think that is great the progress made at your wife’s birthday.  I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

 

Sorry Willow, It was all over the place for me for awhile as well. Praying it improves!

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
8 hours ago, KymmieL said:

The wife is talking family  counseling.

 

Make sure you find a counselor that works for both of you. You don't need a counselor that's going to gang up on you with her. Ask me how I know. ?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Sorry to hear that @Willow/ @KymmieL  I think it will be a roller coaster for you all.  It's tough on spouses too and they have a lot to figure out often with zero good support.  Not that it excuses anything but feelings are going to be all over the place. Counseling is great.

 

Coffee goddess I adore you and kneel before your alter this morning.

I got my second dose yesterday and all was going well until 2am when I broke a small fever and massive chills.  I suffer from a low grade tinnitus and for whatever reason it got ridiculously loud last night and I couldn't sleep.

Everything has pretty much resolved by this morning but I really needed the coffee!  If that's all the reaction I have I feel blessed.  It's a small price to pay for the benefits it provides. Looking forward to hugging my sisters , father and friends soon.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning 

 

coffees brewing.  I just want to thank everyone for their concerns and comments.  This as a shocker because I started on this ride 3 years ago and by all indications it was smoothing out.  So this hit to me came out of no where.

 

I don’t recall who mentioned not being allowed to undress around her wife.  It is not something I normally do.  In fact I try to dress and undress or shave and all those things away from her.  This was a freak occasion that got way out of hand.

 

time to enjoy my brew. 
 

Willow

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.6k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,071
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Ran91
    Newest Member
    Ran91
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Caridad
      Caridad
    2. Certbunnie
      Certbunnie
      (25 years old)
    3. EstherElle
      EstherElle
      (43 years old)
    4. Juliet
      Juliet
      (43 years old)
    5. MelissaAndProudOfIt
      MelissaAndProudOfIt
      (59 years old)
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      Welcome to the Forums Cynthia.   We do have gentlemen here as well who are some of the nicest guys you can get to know.
    • VickySGV
      @Mirrabooka@Abigail Genevieve Let's not neglect the severe divisions within the Trans and NB sector as well along those lines.  Where we have Non Op & Non HRT and Cross Dressers, Gender Benders, Gender Fluid, Agender et al VS. the full surgical route takers with GCS, FFS, BA and vocal surgery,   Which of those segments gets to speak for the others?  How do we turn them into a cohesive force for good just among those nominally under the Trans shade tree?? 
    • Cynthia Slowan
      Hi, I am Cynthia, 62 year old lifelong crossdresser.  I have been dressing off and on for as long as I can remember. In the last ten years or so I have noticed that my dressing has become a major part of my life, I went through all of the purging and confusion and I came out feeling more like a woman every day.  Self acceptance is very powerful if you truly accept who you are.    Over the last few years I have built a nice wardrobe and now spend about 80% of the time as my true self. I only wear male clothing when visiting with family and running errands. I don’t know if I am trans or not, all I know is that I absolutely love myself as a woman and that’s how I feel about myself, that I am Cynthia.   I love wearing makeup, dresses and jewelry, it feels so good and natural to me.     I am thankful to have found this special place and look forward to being a part of this beautiful community!!  I hope to learn about myself and also to participate and interact daily and to help others in their journey as well.    If I could I would absolutely live full time as a woman and hopefully with help and encourage I will one day fulfill this dream. I love being a woman and thinking of myself this way. I’ve never thought much about my pronouns but I definitely like she/her for myself!!   Thanks for reading and I look forward to being here and sharing with you all!!     💗 Cynthia 
    • Mmindy
      Good morning Felix,   I don't know how aware you are of the motives behind Military Boot Camp, but the most important thing it's designed to do is break you down, physically and mentally, weeding out those who can't make it. If you really want to be a Marine after you graduate high school? Stop believing you do things better when you're high. Clean your lungs by filling them with the fresh air of cross country running. Start small, run around the block, then around the track, then from your house to the track. Run everywhere! Run, run, run, and then when you can't go any further. Run some more. Do this feeling like you're going into Boot Camp in top physical condition, and your training will still break you down. That's what it's designed to do, and you'll earn the right to be called a Marine. The best thing about your wishes to become a Marine, is that it's something you can surely do with a proper mindset. Yes, it's very physical, but most of all it's mental. My brother-in-law is a retired Marine, and I love his stories ranging from his time in boot camp, to his time as a drill instructor. These conversations are not started by him. They're usually started by my nephew who is also a Marine. I can't say enough how proud I am of my family and friends who have or are currently serving in the Armed Forces. I will be equity proud of you too.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Finn_Pioneer
      I was always playing the boy in house, and I HATED wearing dresses. I used to dress up super masc and go out to dinner to just make sure I could still pass as a boy. I thought of it as a game but.. uh.. nope. 
    • Timi
      I took Maybelline's quiz https://www.maybelline.com/babelline-makeup-personality-quiz and I'm "Perfectly Practical" when it comes to makeup.    I carry three things in my makeup bag in my purse that I use any or all depending on my mood.    1) Maybelline magic eraser/concealer. Pretty much a liquid foundation/concealer in lipstick-sized package with built-in sponge applicator. It rules.    2) Maybelline mascara primer. It's the subtlest of enhancements, yet makes me feel confident in my eye communication.    3) Subtle lipstick in a natural/nude shade. Very slight enhancement that again, is mostly for how I feel.    -Timi
    • April Marie
      Thank you!! I finally gave up and dropped the t-shirt. Working in the skort and sports bra was much cooler!
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums! Another very late starter here and still haven't made the HRT move. So, I can't help much with your questions. But, you are among friends!!
    • Sally Stone
      I love makeup.  Firstly, I need it to help feminize my facial features, and I'm fascinated by the way it transforms.  I love trying new techniques and new products.  I think the best thing about using and wearing makeup is that helps me feel more feminine.    
    • Sally Stone
      I support everyone's right to say what they think, even when what they say is hurtful or hate-based.  Quite simply, those people should have that right.  However, just because I support a person's right to free speech, never means I have to agree with it.  We should never stifle free speech, but when it is hateful or hurtful we should exercise our free speech right to say how inappropriate their speech is.  The best way to fight hateful and hurtful speech is through discourse.  Sadly, our society has lost the ability to debate.    We have assumed the position that "if you don't agree with me, you must be against me."  This way of thinking prevents discourse and all the good that comes from it. 
    • missyjo
      I'm sure you look smashing in it   I'm just working so denim mini n white sleeveless top..maybe I'll change for hair appointment later   hugs
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There has been discussion before on this.  Not all the TG goals are the same as the LGB+ goals. We can agree on some things, but some gays reject transgender and some transgender reject homosexuality.  I think it is a case of we can work together on some things, but there are limits.
    • Ivy
      Welcome Kati. I was 68 when I realized who I was myself. As far as hormones go, Planned Parenthood does work with trans people.  I don't think they do the therapy though. As of now, NC is an informed consent state.  You can get HRT by signing off on it. If you have a doctor or therapist that is trans friendly, it might be good to work with them.   In NC the urban areas tend to be more trans friendly, but you never know, you might get lucky.
    • MaeBe
      Three treatments down and my skin is no worse for wear.
    • Vidanjali
      @FelixThePickleMan your post reveals a lot of insight, but also mixed with denial. Your desire to strengthen your relationship with your mother is admirable, but it cannot be the sole motivating factor to your giving up an addictive behavior. However, your love for your mother and desire for her love will help strengthen your resolve. But that resolve needs to come from your own will. You say you smoke because you have nothing else to do and you believe you are a better person when you're high. You must come to understand that the creative and charismatic energy that drugs seem to unleash is potentially in you at all times. Make it your project to figure out how to tap into that and channel it without using drugs. Make that your thing to do. It's a challenging and exciting thing to do.    I started smoking cigarettes at age 15. In my late teens, a good friend observed that smoking was the only time she ever saw me calm. That was profound for me. It took a few more years, but eventually I had the epiphany in which I saw my life as nothing but a string of tedium in between each cigarette. It seemed so pathetic to me and that motivated me to give up smoking and learn to live life differently. My story of addiction is much longer and more entailed, but I will focus only on smoking here as it is relevant.    And as I reflect on it, I also should comment on your belief that you have to stop liking the habit before you can quit. That is not a necessary condition for one to quit. In fact, if that were so, hardly anyone would ever quit any bad habit. More accurately, you come to dislike the person you have become while in the grip of the bad, addictive habit. Not in a self-loathing kind of way, as that will not motivate you, but rather depress you. In other words, you come to a place where you are able to take a subjective view of yourself and your life and decide that you want something else, something better. And sometimes that only happens when you hit the lowest point in your life and there's nowhere to go but up. Don't let yourself get even close to that state, if you can help it - and you can help it.   Weed seems to imbue all your activity with a kind of a magical quality. This makes the world, your activities, and yourself much better with weed. But all that is an illusion. Your proof is that it's artificially invoked, only temporary, and destructive to your relationship with your mother. If I may be so bold, frankly, it is a cop out. You have the potential in you to see your life, the world, and yourself as beautiful, captivating, and wonderous without altering your mind. In fact, it is in clearing your mind that you are able to glimpse this. You want something productive to do? Develop a workout routine. Take up meditating. Learn mindfulness techniques which you can practice throughout the day. The magic is in quieting the mind and being present. There is no instant intensity like you get with weed. But you gain power within yourself, and you are the very source. Become addicted to that - that is a good addiction and you will progressively see your life and relationships in a new and brighter light.    
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...