Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Ann W]

Yeah, I'm having coffee after midnight, but I won't get another cup until after electrolysis tomorrow afternoon.  I discovered that they're not kidding about coffee making the pain more intense.  I had none this morning, but still ended up crying on the table today.  That was a first.  I've been crying quite a bit lately, but in a sort of beautiful way.

 

In another weird first, I actually had a laughing fit while she was zapping the daylights out of my chin today.  I was thinking about how, when at the dentist, I only have to feel that kind of pain once or twice...then nothing.  But here, it's like getting the shot over and over again.  That's when a memory popped into my head about a time, years ago, when a dentist actually said to me..."you might feel a little prick in your mouth", and there were tears coming out of the corners of my eyes as I tried not to laugh while he shot me up. I know...Juvenile, but for some reason I just started busting up remembering that.  It took about four or five attempts to get going again.  I swear, I think it's the hormones.  Also, my nipples have suddenly gotten very sensitive.  ?

[Jamie68]

9 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

 

Aww. They're so cute.

Luckily they are all healthy and being bottle fed. 

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Ann W said:

Yeah, I'm having coffee after midnight, but I won't get another cup until after electrolysis tomorrow afternoon.  I discovered that they're not kidding about coffee making the pain more intense.  I had none this morning, but still ended up crying on the table today.  That was a first.  I've been crying quite a bit lately, but in a sort of beautiful way.

 

In another weird first, I actually had a laughing fit while she was zapping the daylights out of my chin today.  I was thinking about how, when at the dentist, I only have to feel that kind of pain once or twice...then nothing.  But here, it's like getting the shot over and over again.  That's when a memory popped into my head about a time, years ago, when a dentist actually said to me..."you might feel a little prick in your mouth", and there were tears coming out of the corners of my eyes as I tried not to laugh while he shot me up. I know...Juvenile, but for some reason I just started busting up remembering that.  It took about four or five attempts to get going again.  I swear, I think it's the hormones.  Also, my nipples have suddenly gotten very sensitive.  ?

LOL !!!?

[Elizabeth Star]

Good morning,

 

Despite being hung up on the incident with my flock, I've had other things happen. I saw our VP yesterday. I apologized again for the clothing incident from last week. She sincerely understood but also reminded me that women are taught from a very young age the when and wheres, can and cannots of clothing. Whereas, me in my late 40s am just starting to learn. I asked her a few follow-up questions. Apparently the spaghetti strap tanks I've been wearing are also a no-no yet, no one said anything about it. Sun dresses are OK (assuming wide straps), Low cut top are a no go. My little black skirt is a bit too little but she did like the finger tip rule that someone else had explained to me. When you standing straight up, your skirt should go to or past the tips of you fingers.

 

Oops, out of time.

Have a great day everyone,

 

 

 

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning,

 

Despite being hung up on the incident with my flock, I've had other things happen. I saw our VP yesterday. I apologized again for the clothing incident from last week. She sincerely understood but also reminded me that women are taught from a very young age the when and wheres, can and cannots of clothing. Whereas, me in my late 40s am just starting to learn. I asked her a few follow-up questions. Apparently the spaghetti strap tanks I've been wearing are also a no-no yet, no one said anything about it. Sun dresses are OK (assuming wide straps), Low cut top are a no go. My little black skirt is a bit too little but she did like the finger tip rule that someone else had explained to me. When you standing straight up, your skirt should go to or past the tips of you fingers.

 

Oops, out of time.

Have a great day everyone,

 

 

 

Sounds like an excuse to go shopping for work clothes!!!

[Bri2020]

4 hours ago, Ann W said:

Yeah, I'm having coffee after midnight, but I won't get another cup until after electrolysis tomorrow afternoon.  I discovered that they're not kidding about coffee making the pain more intense.  I had none this morning, but still ended up crying on the table today.  That was a first.  I've been crying quite a bit lately, but in a sort of beautiful way.

 

In another weird first, I actually had a laughing fit while she was zapping the daylights out of my chin today.  I was thinking about how, when at the dentist, I only have to feel that kind of pain once or twice...then nothing.  But here, it's like getting the shot over and over again.  That's when a memory popped into my head about a time, years ago, when a dentist actually said to me..."you might feel a little prick in your mouth", and there were tears coming out of the corners of my eyes as I tried not to laugh while he shot me up. I know...Juvenile, but for some reason I just started busting up remembering that.  It took about four or five attempts to get going again.  I swear, I think it's the hormones.  Also, my nipples have suddenly gotten very sensitive.  ?

Ask your primary doctor for a prescription for a custom compounded numbing cream of 20% benzocaine, 6% lidocaine and 6% tetracaine. You have to get it made at a compounding pharmacy and will run about $200/8oz.  However, it will really numb you.  Some really sensitive areas you will still notice it.  You still feel the shocks but probably 60% less painful.  8oz lasts me about 6 months of weekly treatments.  When you are in less pain, your technician can go faster and get more done each time.  only use it on the areas they will work on that session to save it. Use a tongue depressor or small spatula to put it on like icing on a cake and cover with cling wrap. Put it on 90 minutes before session for best results.  

https://www.americanintegrative.com/numbing-cream-compound-of-blt-benzocaine20-lidocaine-6-tetracaine-4/.  This is my look before going for upper lip. BLT cream plus lidocaine injections.  Unfortunately for that area I still can't handle the pain so I go into a dermatologist first who puts about 20 lidocaine injections into my upper lip. Then I rush over to my electrolysis. Injections last about 2 hours so I can get 90 minutes of work done. The sticks in my mouth are anbesol covered q-tips to reduce the pain of the injections. (same injections as dentist but a lot more of them!)

[AmberM]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

She sincerely understood but also reminded me that women are taught from a very young age the when and wheres, can and cannots of clothing. Whereas, me in my late 40s am just starting to learn.

Isn't that the truth and pain that we go through being trans? We have to learn all the complex presentation rules, male or female, in a very short amount of time to properly meet societal expectations. It is frustrating there are those that need us to know them already, or there are situations where it is demanded that we already know what is or isn't appropriate. I also agree with @Bri2020 that this sounds like a reason to go shopping for work clothes

 

Not looking forward to fulfilling a request from my boss today. He need a "glam shot" for a work meeting tomorrow. I feel super self conscious on the way that i look. I know it will be fine in the end, just really don't want to do it.

[Heather Shay]

@AmberM and @Elizabeth Star yes the things women are raised knowing and take for granted, clothes being but one. I didn't even have any sisters or girl friends growing up that I can model. I have changed to a more neutral unisex look and don't wear anything male but the ground rules as Elizabeth mentions are not part of my upbringing. I observe and thank God am well past the ultra fem dressing in a safe hidden place and now at least dressing as my wife and 34 old daughter examples.

I'm glad both of you are able to navigate the workplace, something I would never have considered in my time working to survive.

[Heather Shay]

@Elizabeth Star PS I still feel so heart broken about your flock and hope you are healing and finding comfort in your new babies.

[Heather Shay]

@Bri2020 gosh you are brave. Electrolysis of face is about my limit for now.

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, Shay said:

@Bri2020 gosh you are brave. Electrolysis of face is about my limit for now.

Facial/body hair is probably my biggest trigger. I will do ANYTHING to be rid of it

[KymmieL]

3 hours ago, AmberM said:

Isn't that the truth and pain that we go through being trans?

I thought that was just being a woman, period. LOL.

 

Well the wife is going back to being stand offish again. I even stayed home from the event that was yesterday. (I found out they have it once a month) Me and my youngest were watching Lego Masters. (which she likes too) Yet she had to go fishing. I don't know what to do. I think she is accepting more then she pulls this shite.

 

Have a good day all, I am going to try.

 

Kymmie

[Willow]

Hi,

 

another busy day packing and moving things into storage.

 

Got a call from the Urology department for me to call and make an appointment.  This will be a consultation for getting an orchidectomy or whatever he recommends.  ?. I have an appointment set for July 20th.  
 

Willow

[Jackie C.]

11 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning,

 

Despite being hung up on the incident with my flock, I've had other things happen. I saw our VP yesterday. I apologized again for the clothing incident from last week. She sincerely understood but also reminded me that women are taught from a very young age the when and wheres, can and cannots of clothing. Whereas, me in my late 40s am just starting to learn. I asked her a few follow-up questions. Apparently the spaghetti strap tanks I've been wearing are also a no-no yet, no one said anything about it. Sun dresses are OK (assuming wide straps), Low cut top are a no go. My little black skirt is a bit too little but she did like the finger tip rule that someone else had explained to me. When you standing straight up, your skirt should go to or past the tips of you fingers.

 

Oops, out of time.

Have a great day everyone,

 

 

 

 

Yeah, that's like everyplace I've EVER worked.

 

Men: "Yeah, wear whatever. You should probably have pants, but no biggie if you forget."

 

Women: "Here's a 500 page manual detailing what you can and cannot wear to the office. Be sure to bring a tailor's tape because we'll be measuring everything to make sure it meets our exacting standards."

 

Admittedly my current "work uniform" is more about practicality than anything else, but the list of things I can't wear is still ridiculous and some of the standards (tank top straps must be at least four fingers thick at the top) are kind of silly.

 

Hugs!

[KathyLauren]

What with covid and all, Pride is scaled back this year.  But the local town decided to have an event anyway: a Pride Walk along a rails-to-trails pathway that was decorated with Pride art from school kids.  It was well-attended, with most people masked and making an effort to socially-distance.

 

Here is a photo of me (left) and my wife (right), and a couple of friends whose faces I have blurred out.  My wife and I are both wearing masks and sunglasses so there was no need to blur our faces! ?  (I like this photo because you can see that I have boobs.)

[Elizabeth Star]

Good morning,

 

Today's the big day. I have court for my name change. I am so freakin' nervous. I don't have anything to be afraid of but my anxiety is still in overdrive. I've been using my name full time for the 9 months as of today, maybe it's symbolic.

[Beatriz]

Good luck, @Elizabeth Star! Nice symbolism

 

Great photo, Kathy. Now I have boob envy!

 

I'm nervous about my first support group meeting tomorrow. It's like 25 trans women, me being the new girl and by far the least advanced in transition. I know it'll be fine and probably fun, but I'm nervous nevertheless. I don't even know what to wear. It's like I'm 12 or 14 all of a sudden.

 

About dress codes, the situations I've seen in my country are quite the opposite. Very stringent codes for men, very lenient for women. These cultural differences are interesting.

 

[AmberM]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Today's the big day. I have court for my name change.

That's awesome Elizabeth! I know I was nervous/anxious for mine, so I think it is completely normal. I know it will go okay, but still good luck!

 

I have been up since about 5:30 AM because of weird dreams all morning. I gave up staying asleep at 5:30, but it started around 1:30-ish. Today I am part of a big Project Kick-off meeting, and my face will go up on a PowerPoint naming me a lead of portion of the project. I feel nervous for multiple reasons, one of which is putting my name and photo up in front of a bunch of people. I am sure it will be fine, but still anxiety driving.

 

I was frustrated earlier this week ... apparently the local SSA Office has a drop box, but it is only open on Mondays and Fridays and when I finally got my certified copy of the court order it was last Thursday, and the office was closed for Juneteenth the following day. I feel like I am in the middle of hurry up and wait, which is frustrating. Oh well, I took tomorrow off, so I am going over in the morning and dropping off the name change paperwork as early as possible.

[Davie]

@Elizabeth Star I say a prayer for your anxiety today. Congrats for showing up for yourself today. May your name change bring you great satisfaction and joy. It's a whole new birthday for you—so happy for you. ??.

hugs,
Davie

[Willow]

@Elizabeth Star congratulations.  And it should just be a formality where the judge looks over your paperwork may ask a confirmation question and congratulates you.

 

@AmberM that’s typical government.  Hurry up and wait.  Doesn’t matter who or what.

 

Well. I have another voice session today.  I practiced more as my goals have increased with adding feminization but my biggest problem is at my age I have to remember to speak at the higher register and the other things don’t come naturally.

 

I think today will be mostly be a packing day.  Then tomorrow I have to take the Jeep in for service.  Yes @KymmieL the Jeep isn’t perfect, it has a code.  But my Ford needs fixed too.  It needs an alternator.

 

Willow

[Elizabeth Star]

1 hour ago, Willow said:

the Jeep isn’t perfect, it has a code.

That was quick.

[Jackie C.]

Hey @Elizabeth Star! Good luck! I think being nervous is normal. I was so jittery I couldn't wait for my lawyer. He actually spent the entire trip playing catch-up with ME. Of course I'm really funny about being late. HATE it. I'm one of those, "If I'm on time, I'm late," people. The idea of jeopardizing ANYTHING on my name change day because I wasn't absolutely on top of things just would not do.

 

I wouldn't worry about the voice @Willow. It just takes practice. It took me about a year with practicing my voice for an hour every day (plus when I was out naturally), to get it the way I liked it. If you put in the work, you'll get there.

 

Hugs!

[Charlize]

@Elizabeth Star You certainly not alone on this one.  I was shaking when went to court.  There is something powerful about  making it "official".  

2 hours ago, AmberM said:

was frustrated earlier this week

I had a different experience with social security.  I went to an in person office, entered my SS# in the computer and sat down in a crowded waiting room.  When they called out for Charles several times as i was walking to the door i was aghast.  The lady was kind and the process easy.  I was glad to leave by a door not attached to the waiting room.

Name change brings some awkward moments but with a smile and acceptance i found it could be fun.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[AmberM]

@Charlize The offices are still closed because of COVID for in person appointments, so I have to do the drop off because of it. It still baffles my mind, a drop box being open only 2 days a week ?

[Bri2020]

@Elizabeth Star Congrats on the name change date, be sure to have a bottle of champagne and celebrate!

@AmberM IKR? It's mainly because all the employees are working remotely so they only have someone check the box 2 a week.  I just got back a rejection back from the PassPort office because I didn't include the doctors note.  I thought since my SSN, Drivers License and Birth Cert all had new name and gender change it wouldn't be an issue but..... Now I had to mail back my note so hopefully before winter I can have that. I want to travel to the islands so...

@KathyLaurenyou look great and like a good time was being had.  I too have a bit of boob envy! Although in 2.5 months I will have my C-cups installed . I may be dressing a bit inappropriate and showing some cleavage for a while once I get those. haha

 

Good news on my FFS progress. Kaiser is going to do the CTs of my face/head for the surgical consult even though they haven't "approved" the actual consult/surgery.  I do that next Wednesday! I should be able to get in to see the surgeon in Aug and maybe get a late winter surgical date.  Kaiser stepping up just saved me $2k.  I didn't want to wait on all their approvals to meet with the surgeon early so that I could get on the schedule sooner for surgery.  Knowing I won't have to wait 8 months after my HRT anniversary date to get FFS done has done a lot for my mental health.

Lesson here: Don't just accept your insurance company/healthcare provider's policies or gatekeeping. Push and advocate for yourself.  Be a squeaky wheel. Mention how it is cause you mental stress. I probably am saving anywhere from 4-8 months by pushing them.  I plan on insisting they approved my bottom surgery at the same time as my FFS because wait times for those are even longer and they are having me use the same surgeon so they should know he won't do the 2nd one until I've had time to recover from the first anyways.