Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

3 hours ago, RhondaS said:

A few tears again, and a hug from the stylist.

I am so jealous.  My lack of hair is a major trigger for me…  sigh.

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2018

  • KymmieL

    1640

  • Mmindy

    1362

  • Ivy

    1175

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

Day that they announced Roe was overturned- depressed, cries. Felt like I turned a point. 

Like up to now, I had been really careful to align with cis hetero culture living in the 'white' neighborhood and being "appropriate"- the nice, unthreatening trans girl I guess? "Please accept me and like me".

Nah, if it's a warzone out there then I've no more f-##$ to give. It's YOUR problem if you don't like what you see. I'm at the grocery in my pajama pants and crop top.

Up to then I was still pretty preoccupied with fears of eviction, etc. But when you realize you may end up literally fighting for your existence, kinda changes things.

Then name change paperwork arrived. 

More cries....but joyful.

Then visited my special friend and we just hung out and talked and ordered pizza. Might turn into a "thing" as she says.

I am having some deep feels. I basically ended up telling her how much she meant to me and confessing my love without actually using that word. Fear is I don't want to mess it up. We are really having a good time. No intimacy. She said she's not bi but then admitted she had some deep feels for another girl once, non sexual. 

 But it's all happened naturally so far. Last night I ended my text with "Love ya", justification being most of my other women friends and I ended up saying that, but honestly I really have wanted to say I love you. But she replied "Love you too".

Ugh. So sweet.

Actually, I am pretty darn happy with that. She is attractive, tall, smart, (a mechanical engineer), and hilarious. Go ahead and be jealous.

But it's different this time. I actually really care about this person deeply. Libido stuff isn't even on the table. I think about what intimacy might be like (probably HAWT lol), but really the relationship has a mind of it's own and things arise so naturally and spontaneously....I can perhaps try to imagine she might think the last thing she ever expected would be being with a trans girl too, possibly. And she is too, in a new season of life.

There's probably a lot that I am missing since I am usually dull as a cow in relationships.

Sorry for TMI, haven't been with my therapist in awhile. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Jandi I too wish I had my own hair to style.  Instead I have to wear a wig and hope it stays in place in public.

 

my bigger issue is the size of my boobettes.  Both hair and them require artificial improvements.

 

@stveee I know how you must feel.  We all need that one special friend that we can open up to.  Lay our cards on the table and not get rejected.  It’s the rejection I fear the most.

 

Willow

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Jandi said:

I am so jealous.  My lack of hair is a major trigger for me…  sigh.

@JandiI know how you feel sister as my lack of hair is also a major trigger.

Link to comment

So Good Sunday afternoon from central Texas, to dang hot for coffee so drinking iced tea. I was under the weather most of last week and yesterday was the first day I felt like doing anything I did go to my HRT doctor last Tuesday and she is very happy with all of my numbers, she also told me that she is excited for on being close to getting FFS sometime Feb, March time frame. She also wrote the letter for me to start the process of gender marker and name change I hope to be ready to submit sometime late July.

 

Hugs Riley.

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Billie75B said:
10 hours ago, Jandi said:

I am so jealous.  My lack of hair is a major trigger for me…  sigh.

@JandiI know how you feel sister as my lack of hair is also a major trigger.

We should start a club! 

Link to comment

good morning everyone

 

 coffee is hot and the night is sleepless

 

funny for a girl that has every thing one could want , i find i have nothing,, not one real friend ,

just old and lonely even with some one in the next room ,,,

 i just had to let it out, if i read it maybe i can fix it some how ,,,  maybe its real maybe im crazy , to many hour's alone with little sleep right now ,,

sorry  forgive me don't be mad , the struggle is real ,

 

peace, hugs and love to all

                      Betty B

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Betty_B said:

good morning everyone

 

 coffee is hot and the night is sleepless

 

funny for a girl that has every thing one could want , i find i have nothing,, not one real friend ,

just old and lonely even with some one in the next room ,,,

 i just had to let it out, if i read it maybe i can fix it some how ,,,  maybe its real maybe im crazy , to many hour's alone with little sleep right now ,,

sorry  forgive me don't be mad , the struggle is real ,

Mad at what, sharing in a safe place designed for exactly that?  Lol  In all seriousness though, I get it, I often feel like I'm imposing or intruding here but that assumption has always been proven false.  Vent, share, rant... that's why we are here.  

 

I think a lot of us here feel isolated in some form or another, I know I do and knowing I'm not alone in that, somehow helps.  So, my sister in solitude, thanks for sharing and consider yourself well and truly hugged... should such a thing be welcome. 

 

Link to comment
1 minute ago, Ticket For Epic said:

I think a lot of us here feel isolated in some form or another, I know I do and knowing I'm not alone in that, somehow helps. 

This is true.

Coming here helps me a lot.  Helps me realize I'm not the only one.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Betty_B I have the same problem. I have no true friends. Yeah, I have people I work with and people I know but no one to just call and talk to about anything.  Or go out with for coffee. Other than on this board I have no trans friends. That is just about the way my whole life has been. Even with people I call good friends, I am the one who initiates the contact, that soon breaks off, again. My one true friend is my wife and most everyone here knows her stance on my transition.

 

However I trudge on.

 

I have been in fair mood lately. I've been able to get out and work on stuff. Been out on the bike. Hit the trails. When I express to my wife that hey we will have our own home soon. She throws salt on the wound and says. The current owners haven't found a place so until they do we ain't going anywhere.

 

Sorry for being debbie downer, everyone.

 

Have a great day.

 

Hugs

 

Kymmie

 

Link to comment

Hugs,, Kymmie ,,, i guess im not alone in being alone , at least we have the hope for it to feel differently

 

 

 

 

 Peace , love and hugs to all

    Betty B

Link to comment
On 6/24/2022 at 10:52 AM, Vidanjali said:

So, your sister will be your companion at pride, but you are not out to her? What is her interest in attending pride?

Usually, it's me tagging along as an ally.  She came out over 20 years ago and I only discovered I'm polysexual on a corresponding demi spectrum (does that make sense?) in the last couple of years.  This was my first pride as an out (well, halfway) member of the community. (That's a whole post by itself!)

 

Yeah, my sister is my closest and dearest friend, a queer woman that married a trans man (recently separated), who could be easier to come out to?!!?

 

Well, I don't think she is the ally she thinks she is.   We have on several occasions had heated debates over the non-binary community and pronouns. Just yesterday we were talking about sexuality and she said "I think I'm a little bit bi."  to which I responded "You married a man." and the reply I got was "but...  well he's a trans man" I reiterated "yes, he's a man" then she rolled her eyes dismissively and moved on.  

 

Anyway, that's just one example, there are more.

 

On 6/24/2022 at 10:52 AM, Vidanjali said:

Doesn't it feel like the stakes are soooo much higher when considering telling people you're close to? I've had an easier time mentioning it casually and spontaneously to people I barely know or see.

Truer words have never been spoken, I've come out to more than one perfect stranger!

 

On 6/24/2022 at 10:52 AM, Vidanjali said:

I was struck by your comment that you feel wrong/bad for starting a new thread. In doing so, you assert yourself to some extent. I just want to affirm that you are assertable (a word I made up just for you, lol). We WANT to see you & hear from you; you are worthy, valid & beautiful. 

Thank you, I needed that...  also...  How dare you make me feel feelings! 😜🤣

 

Much luv

Link to comment

Was out for my morning trail walk earlier.   We have a local trail along a river.  It's been there for years, but a footbridge had been washed out in a flood a couple years ago.  Also some parts along the bank had been washed away.  They have been working on repairs though.  A new (fancy suspension) bridge was recently completed and the trail now "officially" opened.

 

I have been using it since early spring - the part I walk was just not "officially open."  I try to go out around sunrise, and there are seldom other folks down there.  That is a good and bad thing.  Good because I usually have the place to myself - bad because I'm alone in a secluded area.  (I am out full-time but certainly do not "pass")  Since the official opening, there have been more people, although still not many out that early.  I usually see no one else.

 

About a week ago, I was there alone when I heard someone coming.  They were arguing loudly.  Since I was in a place where I could, I kinda slipped off the trail and watched from a less visible place.  Turned out that only one person came by (a pissed off woman) so that was that.  But I had been concerned for a bit.  Perhaps I was just being silly IDK.

 

This morning I hadn't been on the trail long when I saw someone through the trees, coming towards me, about 100yds away.  We both stopped and looked at each other for a bit - almost a minute maybe.  Then started walking toward each other.  I could tell it was a woman.  I was wearing a dress of course, so I expect I did "pass" at a distance.  About 50ft she stopped and said she wasn't dangerous, and I said the same.  As we passed she said it wasn't always safe there alone.  I said, "Yeah, I know" and we went on our ways.

 

The take away I had was, in that moment we had a mutual understanding of vulnerability in that environment.

 

Gave me something to think about.

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

polysexual on a corresponding demi spectrum (does that make sense?) 

 

Yes. I believe I understand. Similarly, I'm ace and panromantic.

 

3 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

Yeah, my sister is my closest and dearest friend, a queer woman that married a trans man (recently separated)...

We have on several occasions had heated debates over the non-binary community and pronouns. Just yesterday we were talking about sexuality and she said "I think I'm a little bit bi."  to which I responded "You married a man." and the reply I got was "but...  well he's a trans man" I reiterated "yes, he's a man" then she rolled her eyes dismissively and moved on.  

 

I think many people erroneously assume that anyone in the alphabet soup is necessarily a seamless ally for everyone else. Add familial baggage to that (even despite having a close relationship with someone), and indeed, it can be intimidating and complicated. For example, one of my closest friends is a gay cis man. I have had three major heart to heart conversations with him about my gender - the most recent of which was more of a reckoning during which I told him how I felt hurt by his lack of understanding. I thought we had a breakthrough. Then, just yesterday, he addressed me and another female friend collectively as "ladies". Sigh.

 

About your sister's questioning bi-ness - I suspect that it's not unusual for folks who engage in relationships with a trans partners question their sexual orientation to some extent. Please forgive me if I am not expressing myself well - I mean no offense to anyone - if there is some aspect of their partner's physicality which they associate maleness or femaleness with, irrespective of their partner's gender, then it's possible that attraction may be a gateway to desiring further exploration regarding how they may find sexual fulfillment with other partners with similar qualities in other contexts. It's a sticky issue, yes, because we strive to be 100% affirming. This is why I personally like the general term "queer". 

 

3 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

How dare you make me feel feelings! 😜🤣

 

😜😁

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi everyone 

 

my wife had her second round of eye surgery today.  I guess it will be about a month until we know for sure if this had the desired effect.

 

talking about friends and being lonely.  I had no friends throughout most of my adult life.  No one I could call and talk to, have a beer or any such thing.  Combine that with the loneliness of having thoughts that I couldn’t share with anyone.  I broke that when we moved to South Carolina.  I made friends with the neighbors and would talk to them.  
 

now I talk to all of you and consider you all my friends.  I have refound people I went to high school with and we share on Facebook.  I’m actually amazed that they are all ok with me.  Guess I had more high school friends than I realized.  
 

and then there is the group I meet with in Wilmington.  They are all my friends and there are several whom I could call or even visit most anytime.

 

no it’s not quite the same just as you are saying but it’s the best I’ve had most of my life.

 

Willow

Link to comment

I had lunch with my new friend yesterday. Her car was in the shop so she asked if I could pick her up. She lives literally a 5 minute drive from me. After lunch we went back to her place and I hung out for a few hours. I met her kids and BF. It was a lot for me to take in. I had been with the same person for 15 years but no kids, just dogs. There was so much going on I started to get overloaded but I had  still an amazing time and we're definitely going to be friends.

Link to comment
29 minutes ago, Willow said:

talking about friends and being lonely.  I had no friends throughout most of my adult life.  No one I could call and talk to, have a beer or any such thing.

 

I'm the same way. Hearing so many of us here who either are, or have been, in that boat makes me feel a little better about it ☺️

Link to comment

 

Ah yes, loneliness. I met my wife when I was 18. We moved in together a month later. We got married when I was 21. She was always my best friend. After 32 years it still wasn't enough to save us. So for the last 2.5 years I have been experiencing this thing called loneliness, and I have decided that it sucks. Ever the dreamer I still hope to find the One. The one who will love me for who I am without reservation. It can happen right? True love exists doesn't it? I am going to go cry now. I will tell myself everything will work out and that dreams do come true until I believe it again. It will keep me going another day. I will continue to hope and live and who knows... 

 

~Rachel

Link to comment

 

Blah, Sorry about that little melt down. Feeling better already. Isn't there some kind of live chat thing available on this site? Do any of us lonely people ever talk to each other? We could set up zoom chats and talk. I mean i have been sitting here for the past 3 hours not doing a dam thing. It would be great to find opportunities to actually talk to each other. Just saying. If anyone is ever intreated in just talking I can be a great listener. Years of practice....

 

 

~Rachel

Link to comment
10 hours ago, Willow said:

talking about friends and being lonely.  I had no friends throughout most of my adult life.  No one I could call and talk to, have a beer or any such thing.  Combine that with the loneliness of having thoughts that I couldn’t share with anyone.  I broke that when we moved to South Carolina.  I made friends with the neighbors and would talk to them.  
 

now I talk to all of you and consider you all my friends.  I have refound people I went to high school with and we share on Facebook.  I’m actually amazed that they are all ok with me.  Guess I had more high school friends than I realized.  
 

and then there is the group I meet with in Wilmington.  They are all my friends and there are several whom I could call or even visit most anytime.

 

Thank you @Willowfor sharing this. Me too. I think this is something we all struggle with.

Hugs

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning everyone 

 

it’s a rainy day here.   But that’s ok.  I thinks it’s crying for us after last nights talk.

 

@CD Rachel there is a connected live chat.  Look above at the menu far right.  I logged on once and quickly realized I couldn’t keep up with the people on it.  They were either using speech to text software or were really fast typers.  If I understand how it works, you can open a private room with people who you want to talk to about ???.  But you’d have to find someone more techy than I am.

 

my Wilmington group has a private website, Facebook page and uses the same chat service.  I didn’t even bother with the chat room.  I thinks that’s what you might run into unless it’s prearranged.

 

today is laundry day.  I got one of those shirt folders I can never get them right doing it the old fashion way.

 

I met my wife 51 years ago.  We got married just over 50 years ago.  I’ve had a struggle keeping us together but we are hanging on so far.  
 

well I need to finish my coffee and shower.  I guess I could just go outside, I see it’s raining again.  lol

 

Lots of pro LGBTQI public service ads on tv. Good ones.

 

hugs

 

Willow

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 minutes ago, Hannah Renee said:

Past is coming back to haunt me. Can't stop the tears. It'll be OK.

Hannah,

 

It's going to be real tough to get through the separation/divorce process, and as you posted you'll be okay. That being said, doesn't reduce your current emotional pain, and realization that a portion of your life is ending. Please know you have a support network here to lean on, sadness, crying are okay.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋 

Link to comment
On 6/15/2022 at 9:39 PM, Willow said:

we did it! We closed!  We spending our first night in the new 

YAY!!!!! That's awesome ❤

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 140 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. BraxtonLee
      BraxtonLee
      (26 years old)
    2. Bryanna
      Bryanna
      (45 years old)
    3. Jayde1
      Jayde1
    4. Mireya
      Mireya
      (66 years old)
    5. Shellianne_Kay83
      Shellianne_Kay83
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • KayC
      She was a beautiful young woman ...   "What we do know is that the offender was a very violent individual and should not have been on our streets.”  Whether gender related or not, the mental health and incarceration issues in our country are incredibly bad and need to be addressed.
    • Sally Stone
      April,   I'm glad my entries are interesting to you.  TransCentralPA is a great organization with so many caring people.  I would strongly recommend you find a way to attend the Keystone Conference.  I guarantee you'll find it an amazing experience.     Hugs,   Sally
    • KayC
    • KayC
      Dear @Sally Stone.  I think you should author a memoir based on these posts (maybe you're already working towards that?).  You could decide at a later time if/when you might want to publish.   I appreciate you sharing your deep connection with your friend Willa (and I am sorry for your loss) and the benefit of having a Trans friend and mentor in our Life and Journey.  I was fortunate to have found one also in our TGP friend @Kasumi63.   As you know we share many common Life themes in our stories.  Drop me a PM if you'd like to chat about it.  Looking forward to the next 'chapter'.
    • Mirrabooka
      Voting is compulsory here, for better or worse. Would doing the same in the US snap people out of their apathy?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am noting you use CRT terminology.  The comment is not out of the blue.  Some of your remarks on religion suggest atheism.  So it is believable that you are a Marxist, knowingly or not.  Are you?
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Congrats to your family on the new addition!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Funny you think that I would be able to get through more than two sentences with how bad my stutter gets (joking, of course)   My topic would probably be mythology, random Japan factoids in my mind, or a favorite story   (Best option would be a fave story of mine including a lot of factoids on Japanese myths-)
    • Willow
      Congratulations @ivy. Nothing beats a family growing two feet at a time!
    • April Marie
      I read each of your entries and learn so much. Thank you, especially, for the TransCentralPA info. I have been looking fora group and activities where I could express myself safely and with support. I missed this year's conference but next year might be possible and I am going to look at their other events, too.
    • April Marie
      Leadership and Management, the differences and similarities between the two as well as the applications of military leadership principles across the spectrum of professions.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I have read numerous accounts of trans folk no longer being welcome among evangelicals.   I am here for help and fellowship not to rebuke anyone.  I can take a pretty high degree of insult, etc., and you haven't insulted me, to my recollection anyway :) and I usually let it go.  But I thought I would let it all out there.   I am sure I disagree with you on numerous issues.  I appreciate other people's viewpoints, including those who radically disagree with me.  Intellectual challenge is good. One thing I appreciate about @MaeBe.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Congrats!
    • Sally Stone
      Post 8 “The Ohio Years” We moved to Pittsburgh because of the job with US Airways.  The job involved classroom instruction and simulator training, but no actual flying, so I kept looking for an actual pilot position.  A year after signing on with US Airways I got hired to fly business jets.  The company was located in Cleveland, Ohio, but I was flown commercially from my home in Pittsburgh to where my aircraft was located, making it unnecessary to live near company headquarters.    My flight scheduled consisted of eight days on duty with seven days off.  Having seven days off in a row was great but being gone from home eight days in a row was difficult.  For the first few years the flying was fun, but after a while the eight flying days in a row, were taking their toll on me.  Those days were brutal, consisting of very long hours and a lot of flying time.  Usually, I came home exhausted and need three days just to recover from the work week.  Flying for a living is glamorous until you actually do it.  Quickly, it became just a job.    After five years as a line captain, I became a flight department manager, which required we live near company headquarters.  That meant a move to Cleveland.  Working in the office meant I was home every night but as a manager, the schedule was still challenging.  I would work in the office all week and then be expected to go out and fly the line on weekends.  I referred to it as my “5 on 2 on” schedule, because it felt as though I had no time off at all.   About the same time, we moved to Cleveland, my wife and I became “empty nesters,” with one son in the military and the other away at college.  Sadly, my work schedule didn’t leave much time for Sally.  Add to the fact that while Cleveland is an awesome city, I just never felt comfortable expressing my feminine side.  Most of my outings, and believe me there weren’t enough, occurred while I was on vacation and away from home.   One of the most memorable outings occurred over a long weekend.  I had stumbled across an online notice for a spring formal being held in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, hosted by a local trans group there.  I reached out to Willa to see if she was up for an excellent adventure.  She was, so I picked her up and we drove to Harrisburg together.    The formal was held on Saturday evening and we had the absolute best time.  It turned out that organizers were a group named TransCentralPA.  Everyone was wonderful and I made a lot of new friends that evening.  We learned the spring formal was one of the group’s annual events but for the following year, instead of a spring formal, the group wanted to do a local transgender conference.  That local conference would become the Keystone Conference, and I would attend every year for the next 12.  My move to the west coast was the only reason I stopped attending annually.  I went to the first annual Keystone Conference as an attendee, but in subsequent years I served as a volunteer and as a workshop presenter; more about those in the next installment.   For my Cleveland years, the Keystone Conference would be my major outlet for feminine self-expression.  Yes, I did get out on other occasions, but they were too infrequent.  The managerial job just didn’t allow me the freedom I needed to adequately live my feminine life, and my frustration level was slowly, but steadily on the rise.  It amazed me how adversely not being able to express the feminine half of my personality was affecting my happiness.   However, a major life change was upcoming, and while it would prove to be a significant challenge in many ways, the events would ultimately benefit my female persona.  First, my mom and dad got sick.  They were in and out of the hospital and required personal care.  My wife and I did our best but living in Cleveland, we were too far from them to give them the support they both needed.  Second, I was experiencing serious job burn out.  I decided I need to find another job and I needed to be closer to my parents.    Things changed for the better when I got hired by an aviation training company as a flight simulator instructor.  I would be training business jet pilots.  The training facility was located in New Jersey, which put us much closer to my parents, and the work schedule was much better for quality of life.  Most importantly, this life change would help Sally re-emerge and once again flower.    Hugs,   Sally       
    • Mmindy
      I made a living talking about bulk liquids in cargo tanks transportation as a driver and mechanic. Safe loading/unloading, cleaning and inspecting, as well as emergency response scenarios.   Hazmat and fire behavior in the fire service as well as emergency vehicle operations and safe driving. "It was on fire when they called you. It will be on fire when you get there." Arrive ready to work. I could also talk about firefighter behavioral  heath and the grieving process.   The real fun thing is I can do this for people who are not Truck Drivers or Fire Fighters. Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Citizen Tax payers about Public Safety Education.   I love public speaking,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...