Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Alessia]

Good morning and Good day,

 

The sun is burning here merciless and I propaply could have boiled the water for my tea on the asphalt.

 

 

The first thing that happened is that I was allowed in the german forum but I had no good vibes just my gut telling me I had no good feeling about it.

They said they would delete my account if I have no photo of myself as avatar, but I am just not there not yet. I don´t like to open up this fast to them. I hope you can give me the time I need and eventually I would share a picture of my face but please understand that I can not not yet.

 

But to the good news, I finally got my reply of the trans care and fingers crossed get an appointment there soon.

Yay

 

 

I hope you are all fine and keep care of yourself.

 

 

 

[Ashley0616]

2 minutes ago, Alessia said:

Good morning and Good day,

 

The sun is burning here merciless and I propaply could have boiled the water for my tea on the asphalt.

 

 

The first thing that happened is that I was allowed in the german forum but I had no good vibes just my gut telling me I had no good feeling about it.

They said they would delete my account if I have no photo of myself as avatar, but I am just not there not yet. I don´t like to open up this fast to them. I hope you can give me the time I need and eventually I would share a picture of my face but please understand that I can not not yet.

 

But to the good news, I finally got my reply of the trans care and fingers crossed get an appointment there soon.

Yay

 

 

I hope you are all fine and keep care of yourself.

 

 

 

Congratulations on the reply and hopefully won't have to wait long. You don't have to post a picture of yourself here. There are a lot of members with no picture of themself just something that they would rather have. The picture I chose has meaning behind it. It was the moment that I got the courage to come out and didn't look back. 

[Ashley0616]

58 minutes ago, Birdie said:

 According to him, that's impossible. He doesn't believe intersex exists and thinks it's a mental disorder. 🤬 ignorance is frustrating!

 

I'm sorry that happened to you. I guess it's just that some people just think they know everything.

[Alessia]

I think Eventually I want to open up ans showing a picture, but for now the cat describes me pretty well I guess and what a strong meaning behind the picture I thought it was pretty happy looking so good choice with using this as avatar.

 

[Birdie]

23 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I'm sorry that happened to you. I guess it's just that some people just think they know everything.

I just need to wait for my all-gender restrooms. I'm not welcome in the men's room anymore and that was made very clear to me. 

Individuals with big boobs just are not welcome in there. 😳

[awkward-yet-sweet]

1 hour ago, Alessia said:

I think Eventually I want to open up ans showing a picture, but for now the cat describes me pretty well I guess and what a strong meaning behind the picture I thought it was pretty happy looking so good choice with using this as avatar.

 

 

I avoid putting pictures of myself online.  Partly for privacy, and partly because of our family security rules.  No pics, no full names, no specific location.  You just don't know who's reading, and not everyone is nice.  And the fox image probably describes more about me than an image of my face anyway.  I'm guessing the kitty is a pretty good description of you?  

[awkward-yet-sweet]

41 minutes ago, Birdie said:

I just need to wait for my all-gender restrooms. I'm not welcome in the men's room anymore and that was made very clear to me. 

Individuals with big boobs just are not welcome in there. 😳

I guess I am lucky that places I go tend to have at least one individual gender-neutral restroom.  But I don't go out of my house alone anymore.  Haven't left home without a friend or partner since I was assaulted last year.  So, usually I just follow whoever I'm with.  The amusing thing about being kind of androgynous is that people just assume I belong wherever I am.  Especially if someone with me is clearly cisgender, people nearby just take their social cues from them.  However, in my boy form they usually guess me as being about 15, and if I buy alcohol people go to some crazy lengths to declare that my ID "just has to be" fake.  😆

 

 

[Birdie]

18 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I guess I am lucky that places I go tend to have at least one individual gender-neutral restroom.  But I don't go out of my house alone anymore.  Haven't left home without a friend or partner since I was assaulted last year.  So, usually I just follow whoever I'm with.  The amusing thing about being kind of androgynous is that people just assume I belong wherever I am.  Especially if someone with me is clearly cisgender, people nearby just take their social cues from them.  However, in my boy form they usually guess me as being about 15, and if I buy alcohol people go to some crazy lengths to declare that my ID "just has to be" fake.  😆

 

 

 

Nice, unfortunately since my last growing spurt I can't pass as male at all anymore. I can easily pass as female, but the day center I attend refuses that option for me (Texas). 

If my bathroom is busy I'll wait. 😉

[Davie]

I'm telling folks I'm riding on a trolley in tomorrow's Pride Parade--they all ask "What will you be wearing?" I did not plan what to wear and now I'm panicked. What? What should I wear? A wig? Does this mean I'll also have to play guitar for the Doobie Brothers? Tsk, tsk.

 

[Ivy]

50 minutes ago, Birdie said:

I can easily pass as female, but the day center I attend refuses that option for me (Texas)

From what you've posted about yourself, that is insane.  I can't even imagine anyone challenging you.  Politics has reached a level of absurdity in this country.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

1 hour ago, Birdie said:

Nice, unfortunately since my last growing spurt I can't pass as male at all anymore. I can easily pass as female, but the day center I attend refuses that option for me (Texas). 

If my bathroom is busy I'll wait. 😉

I can't quite imagine someone challenging a person with large, natural breasts from using the women's bathroom.  But the world is weird and people are trans-paranoid right now.  I mostly have to rely on others to keep me from being bothered.  

[Birdie]

14 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I can't quite imagine someone challenging a person with large, natural breasts from using the women's bathroom.  But the world is weird and people are trans-paranoid right now.  I mostly have to rely on others to keep me from being bothered.  

Yeah, I have been doing the all-gender thing until Wednesday. The CNA should have known better than that. 

I attend a day center that knows me and my medical records, and they are also ultra-conservative Texans. 

The girl's room is strictly off limits to me while attending here, and "normally" I'm not taken into the boy's room either. The all-gender is my only option here. 

If I'm "out on the town", I'll most likely try the women's room if any all-gender is not available. 🤔

 

[Birdie]

I wish I never grew breasts! 😐

[Alessia]

3 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

 

I avoid putting pictures of myself online.  Partly for privacy, and partly because of our family security rules.  No pics, no full names, no specific location.  You just don't know who's reading, and not everyone is nice.  And the fox image probably describes more about me than an image of my face anyway.  I'm guessing the kitty is a pretty good description of you?  

I dont mind putting pictures of me online if they are just my face but being forced to do so to be a member of a forum just shocked me, this is why I said they should just delete my account and I am leaving. I want to have a choice is all and I am fine with my kitten picture too. I am not sure if it describes me perfectly but I have loved cats and their stubborn mind my whole life, they are cute loyal and like to cuddle a lot tho I guess in a sense. They are also noisy and do what they want, but if you are sick or in a bad mood they feel it and comfort you. Yes I guess I can relate to my profile picture XD.

 

Your fox is pretty cute too

[Alessia]

3 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I guess I am lucky that places I go tend to have at least one individual gender-neutral restroom.  But I don't go out of my house alone anymore.  Haven't left home without a friend or partner since I was assaulted last year.  So, usually I just follow whoever I'm with.  The amusing thing about being kind of androgynous is that people just assume I belong wherever I am.  Especially if someone with me is clearly cisgender, people nearby just take their social cues from them.  However, in my boy form they usually guess me as being about 15, and if I buy alcohol people go to some crazy lengths to declare that my ID "just has to be" fake.  😆

I am sorry to hear about the assault, I hope everthing is fine now.

I have never met an intersex individual in person so I wouldnt know exactly what it means, but being assaulted for being you is just horrible and unaccaptable. I swear some people are just sick in their heads.

 

Haha I can relate to showing my id till to the late 20s I just looked so young and still do. No one who does not know my age would assume my real age, They would always say I look at least 10 years younger and I hated it before but nowadays I kind of like it to look younger than I am.

 

[Birdie]

I'll gladly post pictures of myself "when I want to" on any forum I trust as well. But a personal profile page is just that, "personal".

 

I would not be a member of a site that required one. 

[Alessia]

1 minute ago, Birdie said:

I'll gladly post pictures of myself "when I want to" on any forum I trust as well. But a personal profile page is just that, "personal".

 

I would not be a member of a site that required one. 

This is exactly why I feel more comfortable here even if I have to use english and not my native tongue, but forcing me to use a personal picture of me is just creepy and a red flag.

[MaryEllen]

Quote

but forcing me to use a personal picture of me is just creepy and a red flag.

 

No one has to post any pictures/avatar of themself if they are not comfortable doing so.

 

MaryEllen

[KymmieL]

20 minutes ago, MaryEllen said:

 

No one has to post any pictures/avatar of themself if they are not comfortable doing so.

 

MaryEllen

I hope that wasn't somebody on our forum saying that? Like Mary Ellen said. If you don't want to you do have to. right now I choose not to.

 

Kymmie

[Alessia]

7 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

I hope that wasn't somebody on our forum saying that? Like Mary Ellen said. If you don't want to you do have to. right now I choose not to.

 

Kymmie

No it was not on this forum thank god, it was a forum in my mother language, which I am not sharing here since I dont want to shame them, but I left them  immediately after this incident.

[Ivy]

3 hours ago, MaryEllen said:

No one has to post any pictures/avatar of themself if they are not comfortable doing so.

It took me a little while to get comfortable with it myself.  I rarely do it, but I appreciate this being a safe place.  (at least as much as any place online can be)

[April Marie]

This is the only place where I have a picture of me - the real me - April posted. I have always felt safe here but generally obscure the background of any pictures and am pretty generic when I discuss issues because you never know who is looking in as a guest or just lurking. But, no one should have to post a picture if they don't feel comfortable doing so. Another of the many things I love about this forum.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

7 hours ago, Alessia said:

I am sorry to hear about the assault, I hope everthing is fine now.

I have never met an intersex individual in person so I wouldnt know exactly what it means, but being assaulted for being you is just horrible and unaccaptable. I swear some people are just sick in their heads.

 

I wouldn't say that what I experienced is something common, even in a less-friendly state in the USA.  My assault happened immediately after a car accident, and the guy was at fault.  Thankfully, he is serving prison time far away from me.  But I'm not fully recovered yet, and it definitely changed a couple of things about my life.  

 

You may have met an intersex person and not known it.  Actually, I didn't have that word for myself until last year.  I sometimes wonder what words there are in other languages to describe it.  Does German have a word or phrase?  Do you have disagreements in your society about language like we do in the USA?

[Birdie]

44 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

 Actually, I didn't have that word for myself until last year.  I sometimes wonder what words there are in other languages to describe it.  Does German have a word or phrase?  Do you have disagreements in your society about language like we do in the USA?

In Hebrew there are several terms available depending on physical attributes. When components of both sexes present themselves on the same person we are called "andirogi'nos". That term I recently adopted after my ultrasound results showed I have a womb. 

The term given me when I was younger was "Saris", or "born male to later develop female attributes (breasts and curves). 

Judaism has been "very clear" on the existence of up to 6 genders since the era of the Babylonian exile. Recently the Reform movement has added 2 more making a total of 8 (not accepted by the orthodox community).

The condition had been around a long as humans have existed, and "intersex" is really a very broad umbrella term also used in Hebrew as well. 

[Alessia]

1 hour ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

 

I wouldn't say that what I experienced is something common, even in a less-friendly state in the USA.  My assault happened immediately after a car accident, and the guy was at fault.  Thankfully, he is serving prison time far away from me.  But I'm not fully recovered yet, and it definitely changed a couple of things about my life.  

 

You may have met an intersex person and not known it.  Actually, I didn't have that word for myself until last year.  I sometimes wonder what words there are in other languages to describe it.  Does German have a word or phrase?  Do you have disagreements in your society about language like we do in the USA?

If my short research is correctly then intersex means either something like being between the binary genders or having both of the features. I am still not sure which one is correct since the internet can tell lies so I hope you can enlighten me better. I might be ignorant but am willing to fix this.

If it means having both features male and female then we could call it Hermaphrodit (greek origin) or  Zwitter, but  over the decades this word became a very negative connotation. I believe that words can have a meaning and incredible impact to your conversational partner. Intersex seems pretty neutral so I would use this instead if I have to.

 

And yes I disagree with some people of my country and homecity about language since there are a lot of individuals that use slurs to minorities and dont even know what this does to them. But they do hurt people with it and they dont even feel bad about it, often out of pure ignorance and lack of empathy.

Besides the meaning of a word is the context in a conversation that can drastically change the meaning of it and makes it less or more offensive.

I can not speak for whole germany, just my own region tho we germans are all pretty diverse in how we interact with other people.

You can say in my city we can be sometimes a bit rough with words but we dont mean it in a bad way most of the time it is more a honest and harmless bickering with each other.

 

 

And I hope you will recover soon, stay safe.