Good morning All. Coffees on.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

4 minutes ago, Birdie said:

I was forced to see a sports doctor and started testosterone treatments. I was told how I was deformed and an embarrassment. That my 'condition' must be hidden at all costs.

 

I can relate to this part for sure.  I was always seen by our family doctor.  These days, a competent physician might figure out the signs of intersex-ness after a while.  Mine didn't.  My external anatomy is technically female, but its a bit unusual compared to most females.  My mother dealt with the doctor stuff, and told me that I was abnormal and shameful.  Getting seen every year by the doctor was horrible, and my mother insulted me repeatedly as a teenager.  She loved telling me she didn't worry about me getting pregnant like other teen girls in my school, because nobody would want me.  She often said I'd never find somebody who'd marry me... men want a real woman, not one who looks like a boy....and that if I did manage to "trick" a man into marrying me, that I'd have to make sure of having my wedding night with the lights off. 🙄 

[KymmieL]

8 hours ago, Willow said:

@KymmieL I too found it amazing how far back in my life the first signs of having gender dysphoria could be traced. But I have a question, you mentioned being at Lackland for Tech school.  And even back in the late 60s your Tech school was at Lackland, but what about Basic?  Where did you go for Basic?  No family member ever came to my graduation from Basic or Tech School but then I didn’t really expect my father to come to my graduation from College, but he did.  He did not come to my wedding.  Gee, anybody got a guess why I never thought I had a good relationship with him?

 

Willow

OH, Yeah. I spent 6 months at Lackland AFB. Went to basic Nov 18,1983, then to the security Police academy, then M60 specialist school, then Air base ground defense. Which was actually Camp Bullis.

My dad actually came down to TX for my graduation from the academy. He also brought my car down for me. My parents were moving to FL for the first time. So, for the final 7 weeks I had wheels there. That was nice.

 

Kymmie

[Birdie]

3 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

My external anatomy is technically female, but its a bit unusual compared to most females.

 

Mine is really a mix of both. I got testes instead of ovaries and pretty much female except for an enlarged clitoris (or 'so called' deformed micro-penis).

 

My doctors knew right away I was intersex, but it seems without an ultrasound things must have looked a bit more on the male side (AMAB). 

Things got really interesting after ultrasound results showed I have a uterus, fallopian tubes, and a small prostate. My V unfortunately is not fully formed and is 1/2" depth. 

 

Dating was rather odd, and I didn't even try until I was in my 20's. I did find that some people will accept you regardless of physical attributes, others won't. I did father three children (with a lot of ingenuity), so the doctors were wrong about me most likely being sterile. 

 

It must be how I'm formed and wired because I have always found myself as being bi. 

 

Doctor's visits for the first time always feel like a Guinea pig.  Some family members wouldn't associate with me at all, and I was never invited to family gatherings. Almost like I did something wrong to be born this way. 

 

Grandma used to tell me I was born intersex, I can grow up to be whatever I wanted to be. She was only family member that really understood me. 

[LittleSam]

33 minutes ago, Birdie said:

 

Mine is really a mix of both. I got testes instead of ovaries and pretty much female except for an enlarged clitoris (or 'so called' deformed micro-penis).

 

My doctors knew right away I was intersex, but it seems without an ultrasound things must have looked a bit more on the male side (AMAB). 

Things got really interesting after ultrasound results showed I have a uterus, fallopian tubes, and a small prostate. My V unfortunately is not fully formed and is 1/2" depth. 

 

Dating was rather odd, and I didn't even try until I was in my 20's. I did find that some people will accept you regardless of physical attributes, others won't. I did father three children (with a lot of ingenuity), so the doctors were wrong about me most likely being sterile. 

 

It must be how I'm formed and wired because I have always found myself as being bi. 

 

Doctor's visits for the first time always feel like a Guinea pig.  Some family members wouldn't associate with me at all, and I was never invited to family gatherings. Almost like I did something wrong to be born this way. 

 

Grandma used to tell me I was born intersex, I can grow up to be whatever I wanted to be. She was only family member that really understood me. 

Your Grandma sounds lovely. I'm sorry some of your family treated you this way. It's disgusting, not associating with someone who is intersex. I'm sorry you had to be forced to go on testosterone. Have you ever read Lady C's autobiography? She's intersex and was made to become masculinized, but her father and a horrible psychiatrist. She had a very harsh life. I'm glad she can be the woman she is now though.

[April Marie]

Good morning, everyone. I've been up since about 3:30 AM having finally had about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Two cups of coffee already consumed and ready for another when I finish this.

 

This past month and a half has been a total nightmare as we went through the rapid decline of our youngest Labrador due to cancer, finally having to let her go last Monday. Many nights spent on the tile floor with her, setting alarms for an hour or two of sleep so I could take her outside if needed. Countless phone calls and consults looking for answers and options only to realize that it was hopeless and the most loving thing we could do was to send her across The Rainbow Bridge. Crushing.

 

And, not surprisingly, I ran myself into the ground and finally came down with a cold. Last night was the first real rest I've had in 6 weeks. I was going to check in to the weekly Zoom but just realized I needed to shut down and rest.

 

We are turning the corner on grief - more and more finding the joyful times in memories, pictures and videos. I've been told, and truly believe, that the pain we feel when we lose someone or a loved pet is the price we pay for loving them so deeply. As much as it hurts, it is worth it.

 

So, hopefully, I'll get back to some sense of normality....as much normality as I have in me. 🙂 

 

Have a beautiful day!!

[Birdie]

36 minutes ago, LittleSam said:

Have you ever read Lady C's autobiography?

 

I have not, but I must put it on my list. 

 

I'm just glad at 60 years old I'm finally getting things sorted. It's better late than never! 

[Mirrabooka]

On 3/15/2024 at 12:40 PM, Ivy said:

Really, it's a stupid system.  But when you're used to it, you're used to it. 

I know  what a foot is.  I mean, I"ve got 2 of them.  A meter is something like a yard - but more.  Makes a difference once you get out there a bit.  

Actually, one version of the origin of a yard is the distance between the nose of a certain English king (Henry the 1st, 800 years ago) and his outstretched thumb...but if y'all want to keep living in the past, don't let me stop ya! 😆

 

And it is metre, not meter. A meter is a measuring device; electricity meter, speedometer, etc. 

 

OK, I've finished being pedantic. 😉

[Mirrabooka]

OK, good morning all.

 

I've got that sinking feeling!

 

The gas strut on my chair is acting all ornery. Typing away, the angle between my hands and the keyboard keeps changing! Down, down, I go. Mutter mutter, !#%^&*^%$#%, grab the handle, let the seat rise, slam the handle back in because that's what it deserves, all is good and high and mighty for a minute or two, then down, down, deeper and down I go again. Ferr fu#%_%@^*!!!

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, Mirrabooka said:

And it is metre, not meter.

I think this is an American vs British spelling thing, actually.

But I actually agree that hanging on to the "Imperial System" is kinda dumb.  It's just that we're used to it… and stubborn.

[KathyLauren]

3 minutes ago, Ivy said:

I think this is an American vs British spelling thing, actually.

 

True, but it has consequences: you can't tell the difference between a micrometer and a micrometer unless you use British spellings.

[Ivy]

3 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

True, but it has consequences: you can't tell the difference between a micrometer and a micrometer unless you use British spellings.

I guess in that case you have to go by context.  The differences between "American" English and "British" English are kinda fun.  There are some YouTubers who have a big time with it.  I still say English is a mongrel language.

[KathyLauren]

10 minutes ago, Ivy said:

I still say English is a mongrel language.

LOL!  Yes, no doubt about that! 

[KatieSC]

It is a confusing thing, if an ear is an ear, why isn't a bear pronounced as "beer". Then again, if we said petrol in the US, would the average person know what we said?

[April Marie]

But, it's even worse than that @KatieSC. The word tear can be pronounced as in Bear or Beer and has different meanings. You can tear a sheet of paper and then shed a tear over it. 😭

[awkward-yet-sweet]

1 hour ago, KatieSC said:

Then again, if we said petrol in the US, would the average person know what we said?

 

Maybe...since oils are known as petroleum products?  But if you're German and call it "Benzin" you'd be totally out of luck.  What confuses me about language as spoken in Britain is when words take on a totally different meaning.  Ask somebody in the USA to "knock you up in the morning" and you'll get something rather impolite 😆

 

Mostly, I think we figure out pronunciation by context.  I know that for folks for whom English is a second language, the experience of learning can be maddening.  My GF spoke only Russian until she went to elementary school, and didn't become fluent until she was a teenager.  She's got an unusual combination of Russian and Southern accent...its adorable.  But sometimes she gets frustrated, especially trying to describe emotions.  At some point, she just gives up and will growl, "I can't English it."  Or she'll just start cussing in Russian - I don't understand the words, but the meaning comes across anyways. 😆 

[Adrianna Danielle]

Happy for my son Travis,he got married yesterday to his now wife Alex.His wife and I do get along.I went to their wedding and was tearful with tears of joy.Alex says he is great father like figure to her 4 kids from 2 previous relationships whom are 8,11,13 and 15.Bio dads has been out of their life and my son loves them although he is not their bio father.I am proud of him for this stepping up being in her kid's lives.

[Mmindy]

1 hour ago, Adrianna Danielle said:

I am proud of him for this stepping up being in her kid's lives.

@Adrianna Danielle my business partner divorced his first wife after their children were out of high school. Years later he married again and that brought 3 more boys into his life. When he talks about her boys, he refers to them as bonus children and he really is positive when talking to them or about them. Even when they aren't around. I love the term Bonus Kid or Child. 

 

Best wishes, stay positive and motivated,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[awkward-yet-sweet]

We've had great weather today, and a relaxing afternoon.  My husband started a fire in the forge, and we've been cleaning and repairing the last of the tools for the coming season.  I wire-brushed, oiled, and sharpened every shovel, hoe, trowel, axe, etc...  My husband re-bent and tempered the tines on digging forks, fixed bent mower blades, and tiller wheels.   A neighbor even brought his horse over to have new shoes fitted.  I haven't worked particularly hard, but I'm ready for my dinner 😋

[Adrianna Danielle]

3 hours ago, Mmindy said:

@Adrianna Danielle my business partner divorced his first wife after their children were out of high school. Years later he married again and that brought 3 more boys into his life. When he talks about her boys, he refers to them as bonus children and he really is positive when talking to them or about them. Even when they aren't around. I love the term Bonus Kid or Child. 

 

Best wishes, stay positive and motivated,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

He thinks about them a lot,he does take Alex's oldest 2 whom are sons fishing and he found they like doing this.Alex's youngest are daughters and both like riding horses.He takes them to a friend's place whom has horses and lets them ride them.

[Willow]

Good evening 

 

First, in the United States we claim to speak English, but we don’t speak the King’s English and we certainly don’t use the Kings spelling book.  Our English is really a mixture of words from many languages based on where you live and who originally settled that part of our country.  Louisiana, has a lot of French.  Florida, the Southwest and California have a lot of Spanish.  Pennsylvania and Ohio, German, New England a mix of English and Scottish and the list goes on but we clearly aren’t just speaking and spelling English. We have color not colour and meters not meters and French fries not chips, and pretzels and iced tea and potato chips not crisps we could probably write a whole book of American translated to English.

 

According to my sister who was 4 ½ years older, when I was born it was oh we have a son how great that is… ok so after being an only child for that long I don’t think she was too happy to suddenly have a sibling and a boy to boot.  But you have to understand, my family dates back to at least the 1200s with a son to keep the name and tree branch growing.  My father was born in 1893 and was taught that certain responsibilities fell to the son.  When my father got to be late 70s he had me assume the seat at the opposite end of the table from him as a seat of honor to the son who would eventually sit at the head of the table. When it was the four of us my mother stat there and even when my sister married her husband sat beside side her and he was never allowed to sit at the end of the table.  So certain things were passed on to me.  But my father never did anything with me.  Never made things for me.  But he did make things for my sister.

 

i was somewhat sickly as a child, never got strong like other boys.  Never really knew how to play baseball, or kickball or dodge ball or any other things like that.  All things my therapist eventually told me were signs of my being gender dysphoric.  So like I said, it was all there right from the beginning but I certainly didn’t know nor did anyone else in the family know.  Nobody really knew anything about this back in the late 40 and 50s maybe in the late 60s there were some people talking and by then the first vaginoplasty had been performed.

 

good night

 

Willow

[KatieSC]

19 hours ago, April Marie said:

But, it's even worse than that @KatieSC. The word tear can be pronounced as in Bear or Beer and has different meanings. You can tear a sheet of paper and then shed a tear over it. 😭

A product just waiting to happen, Yogi Beer.

[KatieSC]

It would go well with a pic-a-nick basket!

[Mirrabooka]

21 hours ago, Ivy said:

I still say English is a mongrel language.

Absolutely!

 

Another aspect is the different pronunciations, or even dialects. Castle is pronounced as 'carsel' in the UK, probably as 'cassel' in the US, and here, it is both! Even in the same neighborhood!

 

I was feeling a bit cheeky yesterday posting about this language stuff, not knowing that I had opened a can of worms, but it is fun. Regarding imperial measurements vs. metric, here in Australia we adopted decimal currency in 1966 and metric measurements in 1974. I'm glad we did; I could never get my head around a hundredweight actually being 112 pounds here! Our tons were 2240 pounds, not 2000, and our gallons are 4.55 litres, not 3.8. And a yard is still the distance from King Henry the 1st's nose to his outstretched thumb!

 

It is sometimes fun to mix the two systems though, by those of us in the crossover generation. I used to get a kick out of telling much younger people that something measured up at 2 metres 4 and a half inches, for example! 😆

[LittleSam]

On 3/17/2024 at 9:44 AM, Birdie said:

 

I have not, but I must put it on my list. 

 

I'm just glad at 60 years old I'm finally getting things sorted. It's better late than never! 

It's called a life worth living, by lady Colin Campbell. 

[KymmieL]

In first grade, my teacher taught us a slightly different reading a writing. Only thing I remember is that the e and a were connected. I wish I could remember what it was called. However, it helped me with my reading. Actually taught myself to speed read.

8 hours ago, Willow said:

  But my father never did anything with me.  Never made things for me.  But he did make things for my sister.

 

My sister is also 4 yrs older. We have never been close. While my sister was one who partied and drank. My parents thought she was the perfect child. She was bought cars, while I had to buy mine on my own. By the time she was 20 she had wreaked or totaled 5 cars. My dad always guided me towards money making careers and things he liked, Baseball, and golf. Never really embraced my interest in cars.

 

This is a topic that I have been going through lately with my therapist.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie