Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Ashley0616]

19 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

 

I think others have used the same method.  Suckers or Jolly Rangers or Lifesavers candy.  I've noticed that my husband and GF have the same habit of putting an ink pen between their teeth.  I can always tell which ones belong to them because of the bite marks. 

That's funny! I haven't heard about that before. I guess whatever helps I guess. 

[MirandaB]

Good morning (seven minutes left in the AM as I start typing)

 

My home life over the last 4 years has become more of a roommate situation than the marriage it used to be. Last night I had a pretty large sad. The latest batch of signals about being underappreciated and no longer loved over the last few weeks was followed by a health issue, which still somehow gets me a little attention like I used to get.

 

So after discussion of the health deal I ended up sobbing uncontrollably as I sometimes do now, and I did come out and talk about how I miss being married in ways other than legal, but it was thought I was in such pain and distress that I had to go to the ER. I had to keep saying it's not physical pain, it's emotional distress. 

 

Cut to today, there's still concern for the physical issue, but the emotional issues are not being discussed. It's good that at least she still cares enough to want to help with most parts of my life, but it's still sad to be otherwise so happy with my existence after all this time and have this life at home. 

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, MirandaB said:

I did come out and talk about how I miss being married in ways other than legal,

I think I understand.

A few days ago, my ex came over to help get a room cleaned up for my daughter who lives with me.  The three of us worked on it together and had a pretty good time.  When my ex left she hugged my daughter, but ignored me standing there.  I felt it so hard, and I nearly started to cry right there, but managed not to.

A bit later my daughter asked me what was wrong.  I lied and told her nothing, I was fine.  Of course she knew better.  But I don't feel like I can talk about my relationship with my ex to my daughter.  

But the pain is there for sure.

[Ashley0616]

1 hour ago, MirandaB said:

Good morning (seven minutes left in the AM as I start typing)

 

My home life over the last 4 years has become more of a roommate situation than the marriage it used to be. Last night I had a pretty large sad. The latest batch of signals about being underappreciated and no longer loved over the last few weeks was followed by a health issue, which still somehow gets me a little attention like I used to get.

 

So after discussion of the health deal I ended up sobbing uncontrollably as I sometimes do now, and I did come out and talk about how I miss being married in ways other than legal, but it was thought I was in such pain and distress that I had to go to the ER. I had to keep saying it's not physical pain, it's emotional distress. 

 

Cut to today, there's still concern for the physical issue, but the emotional issues are not being discussed. It's good that at least she still cares enough to want to help with most parts of my life, but it's still sad to be otherwise so happy with my existence after all this time and have this life at home. 

I'm so sorry! :( I know exactly how it feels. I don't know what would hurt more just being flat out abandoned one day or the slowly slipping away? I hope things will work out and the love between y'all will be rekindled. You are right about one thing that she does still care about you. It's exactly how I feel about my ex the one with the kids. It's extremely tough to deal with. It's crazy how love makes you feel. 

[Mmindy]

@MirandaB @Ivy @Ashley0616

 

I'm in a similar roommate marriage with my wife as well and totally understand as well as experience the mixed love and companionship. Then out of nowhere she hits me with a low blow comment about how I killed the marriage. I also noticed that my son has stopped notifying me about firefighter retirement events. I guess I've reached that point in transition where he doesn't want to be seen with me or have me seen at department functions. It does hurt. @Ivy I also understand not complaining to your daughter about how your wife passes on opportunities to embrace you. Complaints are meant to be lateral or up. Never down to subordinates or children.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Ashley0616]

Well I got suckered into setting up my kid's bed at my ex's apartment. It took 2.5 hours to put together. I overslept and missed church today. I felt guilty but I needed to sleep. My body was exhausted. 

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Ashley0616 said:

I felt guilty but I needed to sleep. My body was exhausted. 

I suspect the Good Lord understands.  I seem to remember something about him sleeping through a storm in a boat.

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

I guess I've reached that point in transition where he doesn't want to be seen with me or have me seen at department functions. It does hurt.

One of my other daughters will meet me, but not let me around her kids - my granddaughters.  She says she doesn't want to "confuse" them.

 

The one that lives with me put me down for a contact at her job - but as her Grandmother!  In fairness she is the baby and I am old enough to be.  But in this case I think it was just because Ivy doesn't sound much like a father. LOL.

[Abigail Genevieve]

Good morning.  We went out for lunch and I drank almost a whole pot of coffee.  Gonna be bouncing off the walls.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

13 hours ago, tracy_j said:

With any luck, once you get going you may begin to relax a bit more in yourself and steadily return toward the way you were.

 

We'll see.  I hope so.  I've been hoping that the more I practice, the more control I'll get back, but so far there seem to be some limits.

 

7 hours ago, Birdie said:

I used to draw cartoons for t-shirts and local media years ago (as a hobby), and some mini strokes took that ability away from me.  My 'work around' was to take up painting instead, and I do seem to do well, but slow.

 

My art has always been computer-based, and I never had much luck with physical paint and brushes.  I have tried it a couple of times since my injury, but for some reason my muscles/nerve/brain really don't like holding a brush.  And even handwriting isn't the easiest thing to do.  I used to have legible writing, but its a lot of scratches and such now.

 

5 hours ago, Willow said:

do you use a stylus when you draw?  ✍️ you said said you use a touchscreen laptop would your hand relax more with a tablet or doesn’t it work that way? 

 

I have used a stylus quite a bit.  There's two ways that I work - first is with the touchpad on my laptop, using the cursor.  I can also touch the laptop's screen directly.  And I have a tablet that connects to the laptop.  Mostly I used fingertips, because I could touch multiple points simultaneously.  I'd sometimes use both index fingers, as well as the thumb and middle fingers on my right hand.  It made the work fast.  A stylus was very good for really find details, but fingers were better for a lot of things.

 

Since my injury, holding the stylus is difficult.  My left hand doesn't work at all for art, and its difficult (and sometimes impossible) to control multiple fingers simultaneously on my right hand.  And I shake and twitch. 

 

1 hour ago, Ivy said:

A few days ago, my ex came over to help get a room cleaned up for my daughter who lives with me.  The three of us worked on it together and had a pretty good time.  When my ex left she hugged my daughter, but ignored me standing there.  I felt it so hard, and I nearly started to cry right there, but managed not to.

 

That sux.  IDK why people have to act cold like that when they had a relationship with somebody for years.  Its like love turns into hate if they can't/won't be with their partner anymore.  Its one reason why I waited so long and was very careful before getting into a relationship.  I told my GF (and husband too) that by catching me, they agree to keep me for life.  I can't really take care of myself, so being rejected would likely be fatal. 

[MirandaB]

@Mmindy @Ivy @Ashley0616

Thanks for commiserating with me today.  Hoping venting last night and here today helps. We'll see. 

[KymmieL]

Realize that the puppy wasn't chewing on my shoe. He was wanting to get his ball that dropped inside.  5 day of work then a unscheduled and unplanned on my part, 10 day vacation. The bosses are going to Mexico and closing the shop. Also, meaning 6 days with no pay. Really nice. But oh well.

 

Wife and youngest got home alright. Good to have someone to cuddle with.

 

Hugs

Kymmie

[Davie]

“As If to Demonstrate an Eclipse” by Billy Collins  A poem for the day.
https://wordsfortheyear.com/2017/08/21/as-if-to-demonstrate-an-eclipse-by-billy-collins/comment-page-1/

[Ivy]

Nice. Thanks.

[Mmindy]

Good morning everyone, 

 

I’m packing my garden wagon with a few things to set up early in the multi use field next to our subdivision. One of the neighbors actually filed for a picnic permit that runs from 10:00am to 4:00pm. We’re going to have above normal temperatures and mostly clear skies. I have plans to turn one of our pop up awnings into a walk in pin hole viewing area. Have a great day today, and remember to view the eclipse safely.

 

The coffee is delicious, as I prep for today.

 

Mindy🌈🐛🦋🏳️‍⚧️

 

 

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

coffee is like baby bears today, it’s just right.

 

i think we all experience some sort of emotional breakdown with family.  In my case I can’t discuss my needs with my wife when they relate to my dysphoria that’s an out of bounds subject.  She recently brought up that she misses our intimacy, my response was I’d do as well but does that mean you are willing to touch me as well as me touching you? No she replied.  I said then I guess there isn’t thing else to discuss is there?  We still love each other and do for each other.  Hug and kiss.  She was depressed recently and wanted me to sit with her with my arm around her but I doubt she would reciprocate.  I was extremely depressed last week, even told her I wouldn’t care if I woke up looking at the roots of the grass.  That didn’t even get much of a caring response.  Her depression is over her surgery and everything she is going through even though everyday there is something that is better than before the surgery.  For me there is never a light at the end of the tunnel, my voice continues to slowly get worse, my vision decreases annually, I have other things that need attention, but my depression and dysphoria are by far my biggest issues and they are the ones I’m not allowed to discuss.

 

No, I don’t deal with an ex which I realize is a good thing, but like some others here dealing wife a wife isn’t always that great either.

[Mmindy]

19 minutes ago, Willow said:

No, I don’t deal with an ex which I realize is a good thing, but like some others here dealing wife a wife isn’t always that great either.

So true,

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🦋🏳️‍⚧️

[Birdie]

Coming to terms with myself left the surprising reaction of friends and relatives of, "what took you so long?"
My stepdaughter has become my greatest supporter. 

Of course there is a balance that many here must maintain with their partners, and that can be a difficult task. 

[Ivy]

My ex is generally supportive of me as Ivy.  She calls me by my name and all.

We were already separated when my egg cracked.  TBH, I'm not sure if I would have been able to accept Ivy if I had been still trying to maintain that relationship.  So in that respect the split-up was a good thing.  I needed some distance to be able to see myself.  We live very different lives these days.

Having said that, I do still miss the intimacy, and companionship.

[Ashley0616]

Well my computer finally beat the dust. I couldn’t reset the pc due to some unknown issue. I burned the motherboard to make sure no one could get anything. I guess I’ll hopefully find a good computer. 

[MaeBe]

1 minute ago, Ashley0616 said:

Well my computer finally beat the dust. I couldn’t reset the pc due to some unknown issue. I burned the motherboard to make sure no one could get anything. I guess I’ll hopefully find a good computer. 

[Ashley0616]

18 minutes ago, MaeBe said:

LOL

[Mmindy]

1 hour ago, MaeBe said:

That's funny... @Ashley0616 I hope you were more discreet than this GIF.

[Adrianna Danielle]

First day back to work since I had my stents put in.Went great and recovering good still.I am starting to learn to control my stress levels.Doctors notice I had issues with stress.Had it with a bolt that broke off and walked away to cool down.Did get the broken off bolt out without a problem

[Mmindy]

59 minutes ago, Adrianna Danielle said:

Did get the broken off bolt out without a problem

This is a major accomplishment! I love the challenge of a broken bolt. Drill Outs and Easy Outs have come along way. I’ve also welded over and treated it like a fresh drill and tap. 
 

Take your time… It’s just a job.

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋