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By claire1000 · Posted
There doesn't have to be a HAHA moment as I said before it was constant hints through childhood that made me feel different from other boys, and my teenage years were a nightmare as I tried the hyper masculine {playing football}way of trying to hide how I really felt which in the sixties would have been looked on with disdain or even thought to be a mental illness. When I was sixteen or so I found a copy of DR Harrry Bengamin's The Transexual Phenomenon when I read it I cried thinking there was a solution but cried realizing that the chances of me being able to do this was slim and none. Forty plus years of frustration, and 20 years of drinking alcoholiclly left me little hope for real happiness. What happened when I started HRT wasn't any physical change{they were relatively slow} but just the general feeling of well being of feeling this must be what being a female is, not sure if it was the estrogen finally in me, or the Knowledge that I was on my way but it was if I was walking on a type of cloud nine that the weight of the male world was finally beginning to lift that for me was my HAHA moment. -
By Shay · Posted
I gave up hiding - after 50 years of depression, anxiety , panic attacks, anorexia, multiple therapists and gray market self-HRT - I finally said I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I TRY SUPERVISED HRT AND A GOOD GENDER THERAPIST. And that is what I did - I knew I was trans but denied it all my life asnd the previous therapist knew depression and anxiety but never went to gender dysphoria even when I was caught by my wife using gray market HRT. -
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By Teri Anne · Posted
Sounds awesome Myles97 Post a pic if you want but if you choose not to thats OK too. How the clothes make you feel is the important thing. Went out yesterday looking for a few clothing items and didn't find anything I was looking for but it was nice getting out . -
By Jandi · Posted
While I do look at a certain chain of events, really I find that I am still constantly processing it all. As time goes by I remember more things in my past. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had made different choices. But there's no point in that, since the past is past. And I wonder how much do I break from my past? How much is just a continuing story? Sometimes I feel as if I'm still in a holding pattern. I suspect the covid pandemic has something to do with that. I'm not young, but I don't know where to go from here - it probably won't be far, LOL. Guess I'm just rambling now. -
By Linda Marie · Posted
No turning back. All the dreams come out, now you can't turn back. Now you are face to face with yourself, you think to yourself, what have I done. Where do I go from here? My no turning back was when I came out. What was yours? -
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By Linda Marie · Posted
Gosh, when did I realize I was in deep. Was it the time I dressed upped in my sisters clothes? We shared a bed room back then. Or was it when all I could of think was, I want to wear what's she's wearing? What woke you up to that Deep inner person you are today? I gave my hints up there ♥️ -
By Dee Jolly · Posted
Hi all! My name is Dee Jolly and I'm a nonbinary researcher at Boston Children's Hospital's Center for Gender Surgery. We're doing an interview study to understand transfeminine people's experiences with needing to discontinue their gender-affirming hormones (particularly estrogen) before a planned surgery and wanted to pass along our information. We are interested in understanding both what it's physically and emotionally like as well as how information is communicated about this process. We are asking people to participate in a 45-60 minute 1-on-1 interview over Zoom with a member of the research team. People can be located anywhere in the United States or Canada to participate. The audio will be recorded. Participants will only be identified by a pseudonym of their choice to protect anonymity. To participate, people must be: - Aged 18 years or older - Have been asked to discontinue their gender-affirming hormones (i.e., estrogen) before a planned surgery at a time when they were taking estrogen for a minimum of 12 continuous months (Surgery does not need to be gender-related). - Able to reliably access the internet - Comfortable with having audio recorded (for research purposes only). For more info and next steps, please email [email protected] or visit cgsresearch.org/estrogen -
By Linda Marie · Posted
So to finish my dream and outcomes, I hope my story helps those just starting or thinking about coming out. Electrolysis came next, then the meetings, sometimes my wife would take me and read outside, she even baked cake for our meetings. I went through counseling and approved for srs, one thing was in the way...me. I still had obligations to the family. What do I do now? I called HR and my union reps, sent them pictures of me as Linda Yeah that was a rough one. But I had to protect my job. Being a federal employee also helped. We were protected!!!! This is stuff I never DREAMED I would go through. So now I'm set so what's next. HRT, yes, and approved, also approved for breast implants. Then I wake up. Why at my age should I go any farther? I have it all as it is, I'm outed to all and free to me at any given time. As far as the HRT, my doctor who knows all about my lifestyle recommend I not start HRT at my age but he referred me a plastic surgeon for breast implants, gosh that was a bright day at the doctor's office. ( will I have them?) I'm leaning that way. ♥️ -
By Linda Marie · Posted
By now I'm very well known on the circuit and home life has settled. Still the fear in my wife's eyes when I went out. I had been noticing this for a while now and finally asked her, and she blind sided me again. She told me she was scared I would not come back home, she said, and believe this...I'm scared the -transgender- circus will take you away from me. The -transgender- Circus...never heard that one before she had said it. I had a good laugh, and we both laughed. waking up from a dream I stated calling her every chance I had while I was out as Linda. I mean at least 3 times a night. I kept her up dated, Then.....electrolysis...the the meetings, counseling, ext. And finally where we are at today. We have been married 45 years now, rain or shine♥️ -
By Jackie C. · Posted
That's OK. I was terrible at being a boy. Hyper-masculinity wouldn't have worked (it would have been downright silly really) for me either. Things eventually worked out though. I tried scouts when I was little to fit in with the other guys. What a disaster. I wasn't interested in anything the scout handbook had to offer and found the meetings incredibly boring. I'm also allergic to, basically, the outdoors. While lots of girls go the hyper-masculine route to prove that they're men not all of us do. Not everybody gets an "AHA!" moment either. I had one, but it sounds like you were sure without one. Good for you. Hugs! -
By Jackie C. · Posted
I'm glad you're happy. Surprised there's no hoodie. I thought those were required by the FtM Authority. (Snark, obviously, wear what makes you happy. I'm glad you're happy.) Hugs! -
By Jackie C. · Posted
Hi Dawn and welcome to Transpulse! Honestly, you're doing great. Be supportive, help them make decisions and, above all, love your son. You're a good parent. Don't let anybody tell you different. You may make mistakes from time to time as you adjust, but your mad parenting skills are rock solid. The world needs more parents like you. If you're going to seek medical intervention, you should seek out a gender therapist as soon as possible. I don't know how bad your son's dysphoria is, but it could save them a ton of anxiety if they don't have to watch their body mature in a way they don't want it to. Puberty blockers, despite what certain elements would have you think, are perfectly safe, reversible (honestly they should be called puberty delayers), and were approved by the FDA back in 1973. So yeah, feel free to ask us anything. We're glad you're here and we're here to help! Hugs! -
By Linda Marie · Posted
Waking up from a dream, yeah, by now I have 4 outfits, I dress up a lot, make up and all, still only dress up at home, and then. She breaks down. She unloads on me screaming and crying. I was blind sided by this, I thought all was good until this moment. I'm dressed up and she comes in and starts to scream at me. She really wasn't screaming at her husband, she was screaming at the person he was becoming. The following week came the next volley. Now wife and our daughter tag team me with the screaming and kill you tears in their eyes. How did I handle all this? So far my daughter who was 20 at the time, my wife of 24 years at the time, and my son who at the time was 17. I mean I'm surrounded by screaming all blaming me for lying to them all these years. I was really tired of hearing the cry's at night, and totally sick of being blamed. I sat them down, told them I will leave if you wish, if you wish me to stay, stop blaming me, and then we chilled out or I thought. When I got my name Linda Marie all hell broke loose again. It seemed to never end, all is well, then boom, all falls apart.... -
By Jani · Posted
At first I thought you were writing about having a dream when you slept, but I saw it was about "future dreams." Its hard. Before I came out I never thought much about life beyond what I was living. Once i made the decision it opened up possibilities. I figured relationships would go where they would. So far its been good for me. You are correct that in reality we do have three choices, be happy, be sad and/or just roll with it. Cheers, Jani
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