Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Desperately trying not to bottom out right now. Just found out my spouse is going out on a "date" tonight.  I'm not ready for this.

That's messed up. Go see a friend and get a big hug. Hang in there, YOU'RE worth it.

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Shay said:

@RhondaS I'm sorry for your loss but happy with your progress.

 

My wife asked to hold off telling my step-kids until my step-daughter's Father-in-law passes. He was suffering with bone cancer and passed last night after 2 years and being given 6 months. I feel sorrow for the family but yet happy that the obstacle has been cleared to move on with my life. I am confident my step-daughter, grandkids and my step-son will accept me and that makes me feel so hopeful and can't wait until a period of grieving passes and I can honestly have a conversation with them.

I'm sorry to hear this. At least his pain is ended. I believe we go on from here to new experiences. We grieve for losing their presence with us. Hope you do ok. Hugs.

[Ivy]

6 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Desperately trying not to bottom out right now. Just found out my spouse is going out on a "date" tonight.  I'm not ready for this.

I hate this.  It's hard.

I still have a hard time over my ex and her boyfriend.

[Jamie68]

My wife had her first real transphobic experience at her hair appointment yesterday. Her stylist made rude remarks to her, gave her curls when my wife didn't want them, and treated her roughly. Their coworkers were making comments and gestures about nail polish loud enough for my wife to hear. All this because they saw me with my purse and painted nails when I dropped her off. Very unprofessional. We will never go back there and will always give poor reviews. I already gave an account of this experience on a website that posts reviews for them.

I'm proud of the way my wife supported me by telling them that she loves and supports me.

[Sally Stone]

Jamie, I hate hearing situations like this.  It is rude and unprofessional.  I'm glad you commented on the review site.  The salon deserves the poor review.  It sounds like you have a wonderful wife and I can only imagine the salon's actions and comments were extremely hurtful for her as well.

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Sally Stone said:

Jamie, I hate hearing situations like this.  It is rude and unprofessional.  I'm glad you commented on the review site.  The salon deserves the poor review.  It sounds like you have a wonderful wife and I can only imagine the salon's actions and comments were extremely hurtful for her as well.

Thanks. It's been a rough go for her with my transitioning after 50 years of marriage. This is one thing she has been worried about happening. We've heard this town is extremly down on trans people. It really sucks seeing her get harassed because of me.

[Elizabeth Star]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Thanks. It's been a rough go for her with my transitioning after 50 years of marriage. This is one thing she has been worried about happening. We've heard this town is extremly down on trans people. It really sucks seeing her get harassed because of me.

That's so messed up. Harassing an ally.

[KymmieL]

You have a keeper there, @Jamie68 Places like that salon have no business being open when so many bigots work there. I hope in your reviews you named names. That was totally uncalled for.

 

Took the wife on a ride over to the Cheyenne Cruise night yesterday. It was great. seeing all the cool cars and some jokes as well.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

That's so messed up. Harassing an ally.

Yeah, they didn't have the guts to say something to me.

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

I hope in your reviews you named names.

Oh yeah. I did.

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

My wife had her first real transphobic experience at her hair appointment yesterday.

Sorry.

This crap was uncalled for.

[Elizabeth Star]

 I have a co-worker that had been constantly misgendering me around other co-workers and customers. The last time he did it I offered to show him my ID to prove that it says I'm female (it legitimately does). Of course he declined. I finally decided to use his ignorance against him. At that point I said "do you have any idea what I had to do to get this changed? what do you think I had to go through? What?, I just filled out a form, they said OK and just changed it to female!" Knowing his brain was now stuck thinking about what I to go through I kept going with some other random facts. "do you know how much money I've spent? Trips to the courthouse, doctor appointments, hours of therapy I've had over the last couple of years?" Everything I told him is true and related to my transition but the gender marker change? That actually was the easiest part. It was just a form I filled out and gave to them when getting a new license. I really do hate having to misdirect someone like that but I didn't see any other options. He had been corrected several times by me and his supervisor and it was just not sinking in. So far 2 work days have passed by without any misgendering. I'll see how it goes this week after a weekend.

 

Yesterday I learned more on the skill of getting out of the way and letting the man deal with the problem. We had a couple of friends over. Her husband (he's been a licensed plumber his whole life) offered to look at our plumbing. We don't have any real plumbing issues just that we're on a well and our water smells really, really bad. After I played with a water testing kit it was time to go down to the basement. While we were down there, looking over the equipment, I realized I was hovering too close, trying to participate and not let the man do his thing. I quickly found myself sitting on the stairs, checking my nails while I waited to be asked any questions. All said and done, he was able to track the problem down to the anode rod in the water heater.

 

 

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

 I have a co-worker that had been constantly misgendering me around other co-workers and customers. The last time he did it I offered to show him my ID to prove that it says I'm female (it legitimately does). Of course he declined. I finally decided to use his ignorance against him. At that point I said "do you have any idea what I had to do to get this changed? what do you think I had to go through? What?, I just filled out a form, they said OK and just changed it to female!" Knowing his brain was now stuck thinking about what I to go through I kept going with some other random facts. "do you know how much money I've spent? Trips to the courthouse, doctor appointments, hours of therapy I've had over the last couple of years?" Everything I told him is true and related to my transition but the gender marker change? That actually was the easiest part. It was just a form I filled out and gave to them when getting a new license. I really do hate having to misdirect someone like that but I didn't see any other options. He had been corrected several times by me and his supervisor and it was just not sinking in. So far 2 work days have passed by without any misgendering. I'll see how it goes this week after a weekend.

 

Yesterday I learned more on the skill of getting out of the way and letting the man deal with the problem. We had a couple of friends over. Her husband (he's been a licensed plumber his whole life) offered to look at our plumbing. We don't have any real plumbing issues just that we're on a well and our water smells really, really bad. After I played with a water testing kit it was time to go down to the basement. While we were down there, looking over the equipment, I realized I was hovering too close, trying to participate and not let the man do his thing. I quickly found myself sitting on the stairs, checking my nails while I waited to be asked any questions. All said and done, he was able to track the problem down to the anode rod in the water heater.

 

 

Way to go girl! We don't have to put up with crap from anyone. 

 

I've found myself in the same position with the washer and dryer repairman. I've been working on mechanical stuff since I was little. It's hard to just sit back and watch.

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

I've been working on mechanical stuff since I was little. It's hard to just sit back and watch.

Yeah, this takes some getting used to.

[Willow]

Good morning from Kennewick Washington we needed a couple days of downtime. This hotel was just what we needed.  No sightseeing, no driving, stay in one place for two nights and chill.

 

I am sorry for all of you with the reported issues.  At most on this trip we had a misgender, but nothing like what you’ve mentioned.  Not even in states that aren’t trans friendly.  
 

hugs

 

Willow

[Bri2020]

Well after a horrible night last night I got up and even though I was still crying a little a pulled my -crap- together and made it to the Lesbian Meetup kayak trip.  I was really in my head the whole drive there and worried I would just break down again but it turned out I really needed this distraction. The 8 or so ladies all were really welcoming. I ended up in a double kayak because someone forgot to reserve theirs and the only thing left was a double so I volunteered to rent the double if someone wanted to share so that the single would be available for another person.  I ended up with a lovely kayak mate and we had a great time.  This was first foray out with a lesbian group and I really felt like I found a whole new set of friends today.  We even saw a bald eagle!  

[Aggie1]

2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

  I ended up with a lovely kayak mate and we had a great time.  This was first foray out with a lesbian group and I really felt like I found a whole new set of friends today. 

You look like you’re in your element. Rule number one… put on your own oxygen mask first when the cabin pressure drops… great job taking care of your own mental health!

[Jackie C.]

I'm glad you had a better day today @Bri2020. I was worried.

 

Hugs!

[Sally Stone]

Looks like a great time Bri.  You look happy, which is good.

[Elizabeth Star]

I didn’t really need a shopping cart but since I was called ma’am when it was offered, I happily took it. 

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

I'm glad you had a better day today @Bri2020. I was worried.

 

Hugs!

I was too last night. Today was a good day- tomorrow maybe back in the tank. That's how my emotions run right now. Susan and I did look at an open house today so we are trying to come up with something that works for both of us.

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I didn’t really need a shopping cart but since I was called ma’am when it was offered, I happily took it. 

Baw-hahahaha.  Made me snort. Thank you.

[KymmieL]

Gosh, I haven't been on a trip like that since I was 7 or 8. Sounds like you had lots of fun.You said It was a Lesbian meetup group. I need to find one of those. It looks like they are totally accepting of you. That is fantastic

 

Kymmie

[Willow]

@Bri2020 everyone has a different situation.  You seem to be dealing with your, in spite of the tears, better than I would. I have no intention of separating or having separate lives from my wife. If she chose to do what you have accepted from your wife we sure couldn’t continue to live together even just a# roommates.  We both know we are too far into my life changes for me to turn around or for her to change her mind about me being not who she married.  But neither of us care to start life anew.  If anything di$ happen, Either of us would just be a loner.  But we both know, I would have the better survival chances.  So she accepts what she can and 8 try not to push things.  That’s our compromise to each other.  This trip has as much to do with that as anything else.  The fact that we are enjoying it together, taking time to do what either of us wants to do, and talking and laughing during the long hours in the car.  I would think it’s working, but I’ve been wrong before.

 

good luck

 

Willow

[Willow]

Evening update, our second night in Kennewick WA.  We really needed the downtime.  Tomorrow we move on to Portland, OR where we will spend the week with our son and his wife.  We have some side trips we want to do while there. 
 

Next Saturday starts the long trip home.  Nothing planned as a stop, but that doesn’t mean we won’t if we see something interesting.  Mostly just stay away from high Covid areas.

 

Willow

[KymmieL]

Sound like your trip is going great , @Willow. I know when I made the trip to Bowling Green, KY with my wife in May. it was the same thing. Just her and me by ourselves.

 

Kymmie