do you think you were born trans or outside the binary genders for a reason?

[Charlize]

   I can't remember being born or much of my earliest life.  My gender may have always been there.  Physical equipment was certainly there but my need to be recognized and accepted as female was certainly ba recurrent feeling in childhood.  As to the myths and beliefs about trans folks i can only say that we are unique in being able to see both sides of gender.  That can give us a unique chance to help others.   

    Yesterday a woman i know pulled me aside and told me she had had a dream that she had a penis.   She said she didn't want to wake up.   I guess since she knows i'm trans she also knows she can share.  As a trans person i'm in a unique position to allow openness and honesty with others.  That is a blessing!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

[KymmieL]

I was born me, plan and simple. At times I do think everything happens for a reason. I also, at times. Believe that our life is predetermined. That everything we do is distended to do.

 

then again I think, if I was distended to be a woman then why did it take me 53 yrs fracking years to realize it. OH, well life goes merrily along its way. dragging us kicking and screaming across the jagged rocks and hot coals.

 

TO me, in a nut shell, life sucks.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[Ivy]

5 hours ago, Nora said:

I don't believe in good and evil. ?

This is kinda complicated. 

How do you judge your actions?

Most of life in in a sort of grey area, but…

I mean…  Is it fine to shoot a trans woman because you don't like her lifestyle?

By this it's not necessarily good, but certainly not evil.  Just one of those things, I guess.

[Nora]

8 hours ago, Jandi said:

This is kinda complicated. 

How do you judge your actions?

Most of life in in a sort of grey area, but…

I mean…  Is it fine to shoot a trans woman because you don't like her lifestyle?

By this it's not necessarily good, but certainly not evil.  Just one of those things, I guess.

Definitely understand how it can seem complicated. My therapist is both frustrated and fascinated with me LOL. XD

I'll do my best to explain; bear with me lol.

First, how do I judge my actions? ...I don't, really; I just do my best to go with logical options as they present themselves, and when I make a mistake or something bad happens to me or around me, I don't judge it; I don't blame myself or anybody else, I just go with the next most reasonable option I can think of. ...I just don't think of it as a choice lol. Most people do, for some reason which escapes me. 

You see....in my mind...there's no such thing as freedom of choice, or free will, and, therefore, no such thing as personal accountability. Whatever happens anywhere in the Universe was predetermined by the laws of physics; written in stone at the dawn of this weird, make-believe thing humans like to think of as "time". 

I say make-believe, because not only do I not believe in any freedom of choice, but I suspect nothing around me is even REAL lol. You're all just in my head and I'm not even really here, because "here" isn't real. I'm just hallucinating, or in some kind of coma-like state lol; doesn't really matter at the end of the day. 

So tell me...if you were in my shoes...and saw the world the way I do...would YOU believe in "good" and "evil"? Right and wrong? ...Probably not, hehehe. XD

You'd probably look upon such concepts as wildly amusing and absurd lol. ...I am BEYOND good and evil. XD

...I...AM...AWAKE lmao. ?


TL;DR: ....It's complicated. XD

[Nora]

9 hours ago, Jandi said:

I mean…  Is it fine to shoot a trans woman because you don't like her lifestyle?

By this it's not necessarily good, but certainly not evil.  Just one of those things, I guess.

Well, I'm certainly not fine with that, but that hardly matters. The woman was always going to get shot because someone didn't like her lifestyle, and that "someone" was ALWAYS going to shoot her. Nothing in the Universe could have prevented it. It literally and physically couldn't have happened any other way, and nothing will ever bring her back, but neither she nor her killer ever actually existed in reality, sooo...yeah...it's just one of those things lol. It's tragic and all I or anyone else can go along with is the next most reasonable option for us as individuals...even if it's horrifying. 

But nothing's real sooo...have fun with it; do it with a smile. ?

[Nora]

...And the circle of life goes on lmao.

[Nora]

10 hours ago, KymmieL said:

 

TO me, in a nut shell, life sucks.

 

Meh...life is overrated and underestimated all at once. Personally, only reason I haven't blown my brains out yet is because I'm curious to see just how amazing or screwed up things can get...I'd hate to miss how it all turns out. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna live FOREVA lol. ?

[Nora]

13 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

A friend of mine put it this way a couple of nights ago when we were having a similar conversation…

 

”I believe in decisions and consequences.”

 

… interesting way to look at things…

I don't believe in decisions; just action and reaction; cause and affect. ...There was never any kind of "choice" lol. XD

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Nora said:

I don't believe in decisions; just action and reaction; cause and affect. ...There was never any kind of "choice" lol. XD

That sounds almost like predestination!?

[Nora]

3 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

That sounds almost like predestination!?

It sounds exactly like predestination lol. I'm a fatalist. Nobody's in control of anything lol. Only way I can forgive people and not go on a killing spree lmao. ?

[Vidanjali]

On 9/30/2021 at 12:53 AM, Sometimes Chrissie said:

AIS women: From a purely practical standpoint they have to be every man's dream. I've been in relationships with women who had PMS/PMDD and it's not pleasant. Menopause can be rough on a relationship. For 7 days, pre-menopausal women are often not at their best and often PMS is extends that time period. When I was a libidinous guy I wanted sex all the time and often I felt gypped. Most men feel that way. It would seem that an AIS woman would always be ready as would a transwoman. 

 

18 hours ago, Sometimes Chrissie said:

"The perfect woman is really a man"...I think Dr House had a point.

 

With all due respect, I wish to offer a perspective regarding these comments you may not have considered. Please note that comments which imply that ciswomen or any person with female reproductive organs are somehow of less value, or that women who do not are of greater value by virtue of perceived sexual availability may be construed as microaggressive. I hope you will not be alarmed or upset by my bringing this to light - it is not my intention to judge you or accuse you. On the contrary, I hope that by sharing this perspective which may not have occurred to you that we can together aspire to a firmer commitment to maintaining this forum as a safe space for us all. I understand that you have expressed these comments in the context of sharing about your personal experience, desires and preferences. But, I ask you kindly to please be mindful to avoid crossing a line into making general assertions of this nature. Thank you sincerely for considering this perspective. 

 

[Aggie1]

4 hours ago, Nora said:

I say make-believe, because not only do I not believe in any freedom of choice, but I suspect nothing around me is even REAL lol. You're all just in my head and I'm not even really here, because "here" isn't real. I'm just hallucinating, or in some kind of coma-like state lol

Im curious. Do you subscribe to the “brain in a vat”philosophy?

 

https://iep.utm.edu/brainvat/
 

The problem I have with that theory is this: is the person who put the brains in the vats in the first place real or just another brain in a vat? And just how far do you recurse that process?
 

I’m curious to know…  You say you suspect nothing is real (not absolutely certain then or hedging your bets?) so who built the vat and where did the brains come from? 
 

Rene Descartes pondered about the nature of reality and came to the conclusion “I think therefore I am.”  Any thoughts on that!?

[Nora]

4 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Im curious. Do you subscribe to the “brain in a vat”philosophy?

 

https://iep.utm.edu/brainvat/
 

The problem I have with that theory is this: is the person who put the brains in the vats in the first place real or just another brain in a vat? And just how far do you recurse that process?
 

I’m curious to know…  You say you suspect nothing is real (not absolutely certain then or hedging your bets?) so who built the vat and where did the brains come from? 
 

Rene Descartes pondered about the nature of reality and came to the conclusion “I think therefore I am.”  Any thoughts on that!?

Not so much brains in vats so much as a simulated reality, and I suspect the simulators of this Universe are themselves ALSO simulations. It probably goes on like that for billions if not trillions of simulations.

The closer we get to creating a simulated universe, the higher the chances are that we're already in one. No Man's Sky, for example, is a video game with thousands and thousands of planets in a simulated universe; it's such a massive game that it would take one human player hundreds of years to explore every planet, (so if you're a completionist when it comes to gaming, don't buy it; it's physically impossible to explore everything in it lol.)

Now let's say we make some more updates to No Man's Sky in the future, making it better and better to the point that in 20 or 30 years, with the advent of mainstream quantum computers, we make the simulated universe of No Man's Sky indistinguishable from "reality". Then statistically speaking, the chance that we AREN'T already in a simulation is billions to one. It's like looking at a wall full of universes, all except for one are fake, then closing your eyes, and throwing a dart at the wall. What are the odds that the dart hits the REAL "base reality" and not a fake simulation? To think we're in reality right now is kinda like the height of human arrogance lol. 

I'm not even a REAL BRAIN; there is no vat. We're likely just tiny strings of code in a planet sized computer floating through what is probably a dying and inhospitable universe, with any potential "creators" having long since died of old age. Or we're in a prison. Those are my two main theories anyway: Time Capsule or Prison lol. 

But yep...at the end of the day, nothing really matters because we'll only ever be able to imagine what "real" is, and our imaginations probably don't have enough bandwidth to comprehend the notion lol.

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Nora said:

Not so much brains in vats so much as a simulated reality, and I suspect the simulators of this Universe are themselves ALSO simulations. It probably goes on like that for billions if not trillions of simulations.

Curious who you think the programmers of these nested simulations are, and what you think their objectives are? What was their purpose in programming this particular piece of dialogue on this forum between the two of us? Is there a real someone playing a game on the trillionth level? If so are they doing it for their diversion, is there a goal or strategy for winning the game, what does this being do for a living when they’re not playing the game? In other words, does reality exist past level one trillion? 
 

for me, it’s a lot easier to simply recognize the reality of the world. For instance, If I touch a hot stove it hurts and I don’t do it again because it really happened. It’s cause and effect, but it also involves a decision of the will based on a learning experience. The concept of good and evil can help us make better decisions. After all, some decisions, I think you framed them as a logical next course of action, are worse than others, otherwise why would you need to resort to logic? The logic presumes a value system.

 

 

[Nora]

2 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Curious who you think the programmers of these nested simulations are, and what you think their objectives are? What was their purpose in programming this particular piece of dialogue on this forum between the two of us? Is there a real someone playing a game on the trillionth level? If so are they doing it for their diversion, is there a goal or strategy for winning the game, what does this being do for a living when they’re not playing the game? In other words, does reality exist past level one trillion? 

All of those questions are unknowable and irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. In order to know any of them I'd have to leave the simulation, but seeing as I'm just a string of code, that's highly unlikely if not impossible. It would be like Super Mario suddenly becoming sentient and aware of his world being a video game, then deciding to jump out of the television into the real world. The only way he'd be able to experience reality is if he could convince the player to build him a robotic body to download himself onto. Even then though, he wouldn't really be "experiencing" reality; he would STILL be trapped because he isn't real. 

Ergo, all those questions are unknowable and irrelevant in my opinion lol. In this simulated Universe, I sincerely doubt that we're even the MAIN characters lol. We're probably non-playable characters in the backdrop of the Universe; a hardly interesting simulation of a backwards, primitive planet. Personally, I see no need for any "players" in the simulation. It could be simply a recording documenting a piece of cosmological history, strictly for educational purposes. In that case, we're more like characters in a television series rather than avatars or NPCs in a video game. 

At the end of the day though, what does any of it really matter? My perceived existence is no more or less bizarre than it was before realizing nothing is real, so I act as though things are, simply because it entertains me. I can still enjoy reality despite knowing it's all fantasy and that nothing matters....it's kinda freeing, in a sense lol.

 

[Nora]

2 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

for me, it’s a lot easier to simply recognize the reality of the world. For instance, If I touch a hot stove it hurts and I don’t do it again because it really happened. It’s cause and effect, but it also involves a decision of the will based on a learning experience. The concept of good and evil can help us make better decisions. After all, some decisions, I think you framed them as a logical next course of action, are worse than others, otherwise why would you need to resort to logic? The logic presumes a value system.

 

 

I revel in the fantasy that is reality as though it were real, because it's physically impossible to KNOW if you are in reality or not. 

If you touch a hot stove and it hurts and you don't do it again, it's not because it really happened. You don't do it again because your brain is telling you that it won't end well for you if you do, because it has been programmed to THINK that it "really happened" when in actuality, there's no hard evidence that what any of us is experience is indeed "reality". We merely have a general consensus on this thing we like to CALL reality, but reality is subjective. ...Just ask ANY lunatic LOL. ? 

[Nora]

2 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

The concept of good and evil can help us make better decisions. After all, some decisions, I think you framed them as a logical next course of action, are worse than others, otherwise why would you need to resort to logic? The logic presumes a value system.

 

 

Good and evil are also highly subjective, dependent on culture and circumstances. Both concepts are merely programs that have been uploaded into our brains by whatever society we happen to be raised up in. EVERYONE is the hero of their own story; even the most "evil" humans on the planet think that they are RIGHT for doing the things the do; they all have family and friends who love them, followers who worship them as heroes fighting for their way of life. And on the other side, you have some more humans, who are doing the EXACT same thing on the opposite end of the spectrum. ...So who's to say what's really "right"? What's really "wrong"? 

In my opinion, good and evil are small, childhood concepts which ultimately serve no actual purpose due to the highly subjective nature of such manmade notions. I stopped believing in good and evil the same way I stopped believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny lol. XD

[Heather Shay]

To all:

 

I was the one who posted this topic and I feel some of the answers have drifted way apart from my intent.

 

I would really like to know if you personally find being born into a CIS male or female causes you to think that you can do good because of it - like being a mentor to others and/or society in general OR that you really struggle and don't understand why you were born this way.

 

Thank You,

 

Heather

[Jackie C.]

Well when you put it like that, I think it's more that you've been dropped into this experience, you did not ask for it, but here you are. Now once you've realized your situation, what do you do about it? I've chosen to try and help others through it, but there are other people who instead choose to wallow in the unfairness of it all.

 

Is it unfair? Yes, but I can't do anything about it (well, besides transition). What I CAN do is share my experiences with others and give them my support. So from my point of view, what you choose to do with your situation is absolutely your own decision in the end.

 

Hugs!

[KimmieElise]

On 10/3/2021 at 4:13 AM, Nora said:

Dark Triad? ...That's a little offensive to sufferers from narcissistic personality disorder, as well as sufferers of anti-social and borderline personality disorder (sociopaths/psychopaths). ...Not to mention slightly offensive towards military generals the world over who use Machiavellian strategies on the battlefield lol.

There's nothing inherently "dark" or "wrong" with being a narcissist, psychopath, or sociopath; there's not even anything inherently wrong with manipulation. Plenty of people with mental illness manage to live perfectly normal, peaceful lives. They're really no different than you or me! XD

....Sincerely, a probable sociopath lmao. 

I have nothing against people with Dark Triad personalities per se.  What I have a problem with is abuse.

[Ivy]

A lot of this seems like an extremely complicated way to avoid taking responsibility for one's actions.

[MaryEllen]

"do you think you were born trans or outside the binary genders for a reason?"

 

Many of these posts are straying off topic. Please confine any replies to the original topic. Any off topic posts will be removed or edited.

 

MaryEllen

Forum Director

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, MaryEllen said:

"do you think you were born trans or outside the binary genders for a reason?"

Regardless of "the reason" it has helped me (I think) to have a broader understanding of other people and how we are affected by the society we are part of.

[Ivy]

Perhaps?

[Aggie1]

2 hours ago, Shay said:

I was the one who posted this topic and I feel some of the answers have drifted way apart from my intent.

Sorry about that @Shay. I think maybe the programming in my “simulator” got into an infinite loop for a second trying to define the first word in your question “Do you think…”

 

And the last word, “for a reason” seemed to spawn another infinite loop. Thanks @MaryEllen for debugging the code!

 

I go back to what the XY woman said in the video. Be in your own skin. Be in the moment. If you were born a paraplegic learn how to run. If you were born deaf learn to sing. If you were born blind learn to paint. If you were born trans take all of you and use it for the greater good. Just as you would if you were not born trans. And yes it is possible to define good. Which I will not attempt at this time!