Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

MaeBe's Trail of Discovery


MaeBe

Recommended Posts

5 hours ago, MaeBe said:

 

That said, I went out to dinner last night with my eldest wearing a skirt in public for the first time ever,

Envy, envy, envy!! ;-)

 

I have won a skirt in public twice, walking from a doc appointment to my car. All I could think was, 'Why am I bringing all this scorn upon myself?" as I passed by folks during the 500 yard walk...  

Link to comment
  • Replies 161
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • MaeBe

    73

  • Ashley0616

    32

  • Mirrabooka

    13

  • Mmindy

    8

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

33 minutes ago, EasyE said:

All I could think was, 'Why am I bringing all this scorn upon myself?

The more you do this, the easier it gets.

I dress fem 24/7 (nightgown in bed)  I think most people don't particularly care.  And I live in a smaller town in a red county.  There have been some people who go out of their way to be friendly, most mind their own business.  I have had very few react negatively.  Of course I don't hang out in bars till midnight.

I just want to say, yes be smart, but don't be afraid.

Link to comment
6 hours ago, MaeBe said:

The cotton bikinis just aren't cutting it for keeping a casual tuck. HRT changes plus (maybe) losing some weight has made life difficult in that regard. I have avoided purchasing any specific garments or products to assist with it, I prefer the thought of not having to re-tape in a public restroom, but that may need to change. I have a couple pair of seamless high wasted panties from UNIQLO that rock for keeping a secure tuck, so maybe I just have to go underwear shopping again instead of going down the gaff/tape path.

 

It seems that specialty apparel is the key.  My two friends wear undergarments that have a much tighter elastic fit, which keeps things tucked.  And swimsuits are even more difficult than regular undergarments.  A really bold colorful pattern can disguise things, too. 

 

I went through some of this when I was still trying to fit into my "assigned" girl form.  Being intersex, what I've got "down below" isn't neat and small the way an average female looks.  I went to an all-female gym for a long time, and believe me, women have a really good eye for spotting anything mildly out-of-place or slightly larger than average. 

 

Probably thicker skirt fabric will stay in place better, avoiding unwanted effects from wind. 

Link to comment
On 4/9/2024 at 4:56 PM, Ivy said:

I couldn't spell "dyslexia" either.

I don't know quite why but that made me giggle ... not that I'm laughing at you, but it reminded me of something that the comedian Steven Wright might have said. (Actually inspired me to watch some of his vintage Tonight show monologues on YouTube for a laugh.)

Link to comment
2 hours ago, EasyE said:

All I could think was, 'Why am I bringing all this scorn upon myself?"

My wife just got back from a quick professional trip. I picked her up at the airport in sunglasses, leggings, and a sports bra. She landed right as I was finishing my workout. Quite the reception, I'm sure she thought!

 

We went home, I showered and changed, and donned the same skirt (because I shaved and moisturized, naturally). She wanted to do take out for an early dinner, so out I went for round two in a skirt. I walked into the restaurant thinking "everyone's looking at me". I got our order, paid, and walked out. There was a clutch of people ruminating or waiting for a table out front on both sides of the trip. On the way in I thought, "I'll bet they're making a comment about me as soon as I'm inside and the door closes." On the way out, I smiled as I walked past them. My hips took over. If I was a spectacle and they were going to watch, they were going to get some swish! It came out of nowhere! Then a woman, smoking, came around a corner. I smiled demurely and got into the car, swiping my skirt smoothly and we were on our way.

 

Quite the two-sided tale of anxiety.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Probably thicker skirt fabric will stay in place better, avoiding unwanted effects from wind.

I'm sure you're quite right. I think I hold myself to a very high standard, to the point of the level of perfection I can attain, when it comes to presenting feminine. Likely no one noticed (an hopefully no one was looking!), but I could feel things weren't quite as secured as they could be--which, if the gals were anything like your gym colleagues, they might have clocked onto. It is a black skirt at least, so there was that.

 

2 hours ago, Ivy said:

I just want to say, yes be smart, but don't be afraid.

Last night was the first time I thought about this. I have seasons tickets for the local MLS soccer club and I decided not to go as I didn't have anyone with me. If I was going to go, it was going to be as me, and a late night walk home alone preyed on my head. It shouldn't, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Instead I had a fine time with my kids and online with a friend playing a game. However, I am kicking myself not going because there are a couple women who sit near me that are good people and I wanted to catch up with them. One of them texted if I was going to make it, because she wanted to catch up (this was after me showing up en femme last week). She mentioned and complimented my longer hair, last game. :blush:

 

I was stupid and mildly afraid. :shame:

Link to comment
1 hour ago, MaeBe said:

I was stupid and mildly afraid. :shame:

No shame.  it's baby steps.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, MaeBe said:

I'm sure you're quite right. I think I hold myself to a very high standard, to the point of the level of perfection I can attain, when it comes to presenting feminine. Likely no one noticed (an hopefully no one was looking!), but I could feel things weren't quite as secured as they could be--which, if the gals were anything like your gym colleagues, they might have clocked onto. It is a black skirt at least, so there was that.

 

Certainly the women at the gym I used to go to were...overly attentive.  I found out quickly that it was a spot where women tended to look for hookups.  In my girl form, I was ridiculously flat and boyish and I still got some attention.:o  I'd say you're way more likely to get clocked if you're in a spot where women are sniffing around for a female fling or partner. 

 

Black is a pretty good color for hiding all sorts of things.  Of course, a lot depends on your overall physical size and build, and the size of whatever needs to be hidden.  Both of my trans friends are fairly small and slender.  The older one of the two (she's in her late 20s) has practically nothing to hide, since she was on HRT and puberty blockers at a young age.  She just wears normal female undergarments, and uses a black bikini for swimming.  My younger friend...I'm not quite sure if she even wants to use a public pool.  Fortunately we've got a pond at my place, and nobody is going to be looking or staring here :)

Link to comment
2 hours ago, MaeBe said:

they were going to get some swish! It came out of nowhere! ... Quite the two-sided tale of anxiety.

Love this! Love your boldness. Go get 'em girl!

Link to comment
21 hours ago, Ivy said:

No shame.  it's baby steps.

If you insist. ;)

 

20 hours ago, EasyE said:

Love this! Love your boldness. Go get 'em girl!

Bolder day by day!

Link to comment
On 4/15/2024 at 7:25 AM, EasyE said:

I would say the "totally accepting" is not very typical... at least from my vantage point ... but I am biased because my wife is so against this part of me (and not all that happy with a lot of other things about me either)... that is a blessing that you at least have that more firm foundation around you...

Fair point, and thank you. I am lucky, I guess. I should probably qualify what I said previously by adding that I actually do very little compared to most people here. I'm not even trying to socially transition. I have no interest in passing or wearing what is obviously feminine attire in public. Luckily for me, I'm not looking to present myself in a manner beyond androgyny; if I did, it would be met with opposition, so all is good. What I do have acceptance with are things like discreetly worn bras, unisex clothing, etc.

 

So yeah, my wife accepts what I do now, but the line in the sand is clear. I am sorry if you cannot attain that level of acceptance. But I'm nowhere near the level of others!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Mirrabooka said:

But I'm nowhere near the level of others

We all do what we can.

I split with my ex a few years ago.  That's not much fun, but I do have my freedom from trying to accommodate a non-supporting spouse.

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Mirrabooka said:

So yeah, my wife accepts what I do now, but the line in the sand is clear. I am sorry if you cannot attain that level of acceptance. But I'm nowhere near the level of others!

If you are happy, you are happy. There’s no competition. If you aren’t happy and you’re compromising your happiness for a reason, you’re making a calculated choice. If you can be relatively happy, then that’s maybe good enough. I know my wife has a limit and I may be beyond it already and not know it, but so far so good?

Link to comment
21 minutes ago, MaeBe said:

If you can be relatively happy, then that’s maybe good enough.

Sometimes this is our best option.

Link to comment
7 minutes ago, Ivy said:

Sometimes this is our best option.

Agreed, Ms. Ivy!

 

I hope you’re having the loveliest of days!

Link to comment

Maybe they called me he/him at the dealership because I completely forgot my mascara! Eyeliner without mascara…a bold new trend among the helplessly lost! :)

 

Fixed that! 

IMG_0100.jpeg

Link to comment
1 hour ago, MaeBe said:

Maybe they called me he/him at the dealership because I completely forgot my mascara! Eyeliner without mascara…a bold new trend among the helplessly lost! :)

 

Fixed that! 

IMG_0100.jpeg

You're pretty! It's nice to see a face.

Link to comment
2 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

You're pretty! It's nice to see a face.

I agree!!!

Link to comment
33 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

You're pretty! It's nice to see a face.

 

30 minutes ago, Timi said:

I agree!!!

So do I! You look terrific, @MaeBe!

Link to comment
22 hours ago, MaeBe said:

I find taking a picture of myself so difficult.

That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.

 

However, you look terrific in that selfie! 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Sally Stone said:

Cameras hate me.

I lucked into that picture. I took like 10 before that, which appropriately make me look like a donkey. ;)

 

Thank you so much for the compliment!

Link to comment

So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬

Link to comment

I think we tend to be overly critical of our looks, whether we're trying to express ourselves as masculine, feminine or anywhere along the gender spectrum. For me, I use photos as a way to track my progress, to help me find my style and look and to help me find ways to improve myself in posture, looks, make-up, style......

 

I didn't really think about our FB avatar being public but then realized that when people search they do see it.

 

Since I'm not out to anyone but my wife, therapist, priest and people here, my FB page remains "that guy." I have created a Bitmoji that is relatively androgynous moving slowly towards the feminine. Long gray hair, earrings, softer features...I'm transitioning it along with myself. :-)

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 99 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • Lydia_R
    • April Marie
    • Mars Hiroshi
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MaeBe
    • Jet McCartney
    • Karen Carey
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,039
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Justine76
    Newest Member
    Justine76
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. April Marie
      April Marie
    2. daniela...
      daniela...
      (59 years old)
    3. Emily May
      Emily May
    4. Felixr
      Felixr
      (20 years old)
    5. Leann
      Leann
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Happy birthday @April Marie!
    • April Marie
      Thank for the birthday wishes, everyone!!!   It started great...and then I was rear-ended at a highway construction site this morning. I'm OK. The woman who hit me was shaken - was going fast enough to deploy her air bags. I was at dead stop. Her car had to be towed away. My truck too a hit to the tailgate and the bumper. It seems OK otherwise but I'll know tomorrow when they do the appraisal.   UGH!   Happy Birthday to Me!! :-)  
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "How did it go yesterday? Any trouble in Millville?" He shook his head. "Your biscuits and gravy are great." "Mama's recipe. She taught this girl to COOK." "Uh-huh.  Well, it rained the whole time.  We did the ground breaking in pouring rain.  Your friend, the former head of manufacturing, is now on the Board.  It looks like sunshine down there, he told me, with the missile plant starting up and they re-hired all the people they fired.  Millville Products is as it was.  And the Chinese money is still coming.  That was just an ugly rumor.  Gibson quit, but you knew that." "Missile plant, huh.  Yeah.  Gibson and I may go into business.  But I have been thinking-" "Yeah.  It's been declassified.  I can tell you they made missiles for Navy ships and planes during World War 2. It was shut down after Vietnam.  Several other supporting companies are moving in - paint, electronics assembly, a few others - that support missile production." "Okay."
    • Lydia_R
      That is, it's a great document in that it seems to clearly define things, not that I'm in agreement with it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/col/cj82k733h   I am now dissatisfied with the thread title because it seems to exclude Catholics and maybe others .  I am not sure what to change it to, so I will fuss over THAT now. 
    • Lydia_R
      I'm on the ballot being mailed tomorrow for an open US Rep seat.  I have both an honorable discharge and an other than honorable discharge.  I told the Navy that I was smoking pot every day right after Y2K.  I told them that while I was in the Navy, I substituted alcohol for marijuana and that the alcohol was making me violently sick.  After 5+ years of that, I said enough is enough and I went back to smoking pot.  I got better and I felt like the quality of my work was improving.   I certainly wasn't the perfect military member, but I excelled at my job and earned a promotion in boot camp.  They drug tested our unit several times after I told them I was smoking pot and I may have never tested positive.  I was opening smoking pot in the Navy for 3 or 4 months before they decided to kick me out.  At my captain's mast, the captain tried to shame me by saying I looked bad in uniform and that I was a disgrace, but all my evaluations said that I looked great in uniform.  I took great pride in looking good in my dress blues and whites.  Sure, I had grown my hair out a little bit (you know, it's not like I became trans in my 50's all the sudden) and I was enjoying some green anodized eye glasses :)   I think that people get very emotional about these kinds of issues when they should be concentrating more on engineering things and work performance.  I think we should take the lead and talk about our professional lives more instead of focusing on this type of politics.  That's a great document and I saved the PDF to my hard drive.  I think we should have more respect for the production that China is doing instead of concentrating on raising a military defense against them.  I personally disliked the hazing rituals in the Navy and think our military would be better off with being more accepting and intelligent.  
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My snarky comment of the morning is that Trump may be the first president sworn into office from a jail cell.  He can't keep his mouth under control.  It's likely he may be serving time for contempt for violating gag orders in January if he keeps it up, and the judges are more than happy to slap fines and imprisonment on him.
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      For one thing, this is Rolling Stone, who is convinced that the right is evil and writes articles from that perspective.   For another, he did not call out for eradication.  His answer was lousy, I did not like it, it was ambiguous, but he denied being for eradication of transgender people.   I still don't know what transgenderism is, but I see it as distinct from transgender people.   Conservative TG people need to become politically active and actively dialog and engage with these people..  Dang it.
    • Vidanjali
      Here's some inspiration. Wheels within wheels.   
    • Lydia_R
      Yes, totally.  That's a great story about your math history @Vidanjali!  Wow!   People tend to forget or are not aware of grads instead of degrees and radians, but that is becoming a big deal to me in the idea of coding a trigonometric function.  If you set your calculator to grads and then do the sin of 33.33, it comes up with .4999, you know, pi/6.  The significance here is that by dividing pi/2 (radians) into 100 units (grads) instead of 90 units (degrees), you are now in a base 10 space.  And when we are dealing with decimals (in base 10), and trying to convert them back to ratios, then notating our angles in the base 10 system of gradients seems like it is the key to coding the trigonometric function.   Then again, this has all kind of been a revelation to me the last couple days.  It's fun to combine math with code and I'm looking forward to writing some algorithms around this.  My last job was coding software for a healthcare company and there was no math involved in that and that was a depressing part of that job.  The long hours of that job kind of created a spiritual backlog of wanting to do some math work and I think that energy is busting out right now.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Went out to get the mail.  I was thinking that I only have dysphoria when I am dressed like a guy as I walked out there, looselimbed and feeling femme.   Get with the program, girl, says I. I am supposed to be dysphoric when I am wearing women's clothing, not the other way around.  In the past I have worn women's clothing like this and after a while said I guess I really don't have GD, switched to male clothing until I gave it up, miserable, and went back.   Dreaming of a nice skirt-suit set.  Looked at them on Amazon.  And a peasant skirt with a nice lacy top.  And a denim skirt, worn with tights, boots and a turtleneck.  A girl can dream.    
    • Vidanjali
      Yes, indeed. It's nice to think about. Calculus allows you to work with an infinitely-many-sided regular polygon which may as well be a circle.    I worked with such ideas within my master's thesis which was a history of the Jordan Curve Theorem. Basically, the theorem states that if you draw a circle on a piece of paper, that the circle separates the paper into two distinct regions - the interior of the circle and the exterior of the circle. Turns out it's not so straightforward to prove rigorously, especially considering all they had to work with at the time the theorem was stated was Euclidean geometry. It took generations and the development of new fields of mathematics before any correct proof was established.
    • Vidanjali
      Aw shucks :) I like your story and similar to you, I had dropped out of high school and was homeless before eventually applying for various aid which led me to taking classes as community college. I'd never completed a math class in high school, but turns out I'm good at it and loved it so much from the very first basic algebra class as community college that I decided I'd become a mathematics professor. And I did! I taught math at the higher ed level for 17 years before resigning due to disability.     True as long as the radius is 1. Else it's a multiple of .524 which is an approximation of pi/6. The entire circumference of the unit circle is 2pi. And one full rotation about the circle is 2pi radian which is equivalent to 360 degrees. 30 degrees is 1/12 of one full rotation. Divide 2pi by 12 and you get approximately .524.     You are correct. The circumference of any circle equals pi times the circle's diameter. Therefore one definition of pi is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.     Not totally sure what you mean. First note that irrational numbers have infinitely long nonrepeating expansion. And note that the measurements of the sides of right triangles and ratios of those numbers are in arbitrary units of length whereas angle measurements may be in degrees or radians. So, for example, if you ask a calculator what's tangent of 30, and its programmed for radian input, it'll read that as 30 radians which is about 1719 degrees or almost 5 complete rotations.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      If you are not familiar with Project 2025 you should be.  If the Republicans win in November it is very likely to be implemented.  Thanks @MaeBe for bringing this to my attention.   https://static.project2025.org/2025_MandateForLeadership_CHAPTER-04.pdf   "Reverse policies that allow transgender individuals to serve in the military. Gender dysphoria is incompatible with the demands of military service,"   Therefore it is reasonable to ask our veterans here whether they received an honorable discharge, whether they received medals of commendation, etc., that would serve to show that the second statement is simply not true.   Let's document.  We have a number of veterans here.   Yeah, I am nosy.  They would maintain ya'll got bad conduct discharges for conduct unbecoming.   I suspect we have here mostly honorable discharges, perhaps medals for valor, combat ribbons, etc.   This is information that might be used to refute the quote, so it would be good if you stood up and were recognized, for your service to this country and your courage in coming forward here and being recognized. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...