Ashley's Life from Start to Present

[MaeBe]

Three years old is on that precipice; young enough to need you for most things, but old enough to get into trouble all by themselves! Have a wonderful evening with your kids, Ash!

 

💜Mae

[Lydia_R]

Thanks for sharing Ashley.  I like your signature line!

[awkward-yet-sweet]

4 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

3 and 7. I don't trust anyone other than my ex. I would worry all the time and it wouldn't it be a fun time. Even then I worry about them around her. She gave my son wine at 7 years old! I reported it to the police and to CPS and they did nothing! I figure if I can make it for another 7 years then Bentley can watch Jett. I have an Aunt down here but she has grandkids to take care of. I rely on her too much as it is. I do my best to not bother her. My youngest sister was down here but she moved up north Mississippi. We used to take turns watching kids but not anymore. Well time to go back and spend time with the kids. I'm afraid my oldest feels like I don't spend enough time with him but he does go to school so it takes up a lot. 

I can't imagine doing single parent life, even without custody issues and lack of help.  I guess I've got it easy only being a step-parent and having multiple competent partners 🧐  You've definitely got a lot going on simultaneously!

[Ashley0616]

11 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I can't imagine doing single parent life, even without custody issues and lack of help.  I guess I've got it easy only being a step-parent and having multiple competent partners 🧐  You've definitely got a lot going on simultaneously!

Thank you! 

 

Well I had nice conversation with a woman on Instagram. She is in the Army and is in the Mountain Division. She might be the one would understand what I'm going through finally! She wants to date me and she is understanding that I'm not. We have talked a few times. She sent me a few pictures of her and her daughter. Which is perfect because I have always wanted a daughter. I'm going to go through things slowly of course. I have to of course make sure to wait till my kids and I are ready. I thought I was done with relationships but I guess it might happen when I'm not looking for it? We'll see. Slow and steady wins the race.

[MaeBe]

1 minute ago, Ashley0616 said:

I thought I was done with relationships but I guess it might happen when I'm not looking for it?

❤️

 

I wish for you a healthy budding relationship. Everyone needs love and you deserve love.

 

💜Mae

[Ashley0616]

27 minutes ago, MaeBe said:

❤️

 

I wish for you a healthy budding relationship. Everyone needs love and you deserve love.

 

💜Mae

Thank you!

[Ashley0616]

Just when I thought things were getting better it was nothing but a scam. She wanted me to get her a razer gold card for music. I googled it and it’s for gaming. I blocked her! Every time I fall for feelings it always gets thrown back at my face. I thought I could trust again. I was promised everything even had thinking I was going to get a daughter. I’m tired of falling for people. Can I not trust anyone? Sorry for sounding like a pity party but dang can I get someone? Another guy hit on me and he wanted me to worship him! Needless to say I laughed. I wished God would harden my heart so hard I couldn’t love romantically anymore. 

[MaeBe]

2 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

Just when I thought things were getting better it was nothing but a scam.

I'm sorry, Ash! Just imagine the world if people put that amount of energy into doing good things!

 

Cutting out your heart to spite it, seems like a good way to avoid being hurt but do you really want to lose the power to one day feel true love? Be shrewd maybe, but don't wish away your heart. 😟

 

💜Mae

[Ashley0616]

4 minutes ago, MaeBe said:

I'm sorry, Ash! Just imagine the world if people put that amount of energy into doing good things!

 

Cutting out your heart to spite it, seems like a good way to avoid being hurt but do you really want to lose the power to one day feel true love? Be shrewd maybe, but don't wish away your heart. 😟

 

💜Mae

I tried talking to 25 men and more for women. I'm a Ross with no Rachael. 

[Ashley0616]

1 minute ago, Ashley0616 said:

I tried talking to 25 men and more for women. I'm a Ross with no Rachael. 

oops Rachael with no Ross

[MaeBe]

2 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I tried talking to 25 men and more for women.

If you don't mind me asking, where have you been socializing? I'm curious, because I don't know the "scene" anymore. If things have mostly been online (which is probably typical these days, as well as practical since you've got the kiddos full time), is there a chance you could find an activities group that meets in-person when your ex has the kiddos?

[Ashley0616]

1 hour ago, MaeBe said:

If you don't mind me asking, where have you been socializing? I'm curious, because I don't know the "scene" anymore. If things have mostly been online (which is probably typical these days, as well as practical since you've got the kiddos full time), is there a chance you could find an activities group that meets in-person when your ex has the kiddos?

Facebook, Instagram, Plenty of Fish, Match.com, plenty of trans dating sites, and another 4 other dating sites. She has them for the weekends so maybe? I might go to the bar this weekend and try there. My church has married people and plus none of them are near my age too. The only ones younger than me is the one little girl. I tried to not date again but she had me so convinced that people can be different. Then again I don't know if I could handle any more attempts. I guess I'll go to the bar and just try to enjoy myself. 

[MaeBe]

2 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I guess I'll go to the bar and just try to enjoy myself.

At the very least! You deserve some downtime!

 

I really recommend seeing if there are any activities groups that you'd enjoy doing, just to socialize, too. You can meet new people, build some friendships maybe, and through those interactions expand your social network. You don't have to be looking for love, but build a big enough net and you may just catch on of those fish a'plenty.

 

💜Mae

[Ashley0616]

Just now, MaeBe said:

At the very least! You deserve some downtime!

 

I really recommend seeing if there are any activities groups that you'd enjoy doing, just to socialize, too. You can meet new people, build some friendships maybe, and through those interactions expand your social network. You don't have to be looking for love, but build a big enough net and you may just catch on of those fish a'plenty.

 

💜Mae

Thank you!

[Ashley0616]

On 1/12/2024 at 7:28 PM, Lydia_R said:

Thanks for sharing Ashley.  I like your signature line!

Your welcome and thank you!

[awkward-yet-sweet]

11 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

Facebook, Instagram, Plenty of Fish, Match.com, plenty of trans dating sites, and another 4 other dating sites.

 

OMG.  8+ sites?  That sounds like a full time job!  Curious what trans dating sites there are????   I tried helping my friends find something, and the only sites I saw were basically sex sites that used language I found borderline insulting (at best). 

 

I tried online dating briefly many years ago, and the experience was harrowing.  And rather predatory.  I was only looking for a girlfriend at the time.  Just some nice, cute girl who might love me.  It ended up being a random encounter in a store that led me to my forever family. 

[Ashley0616]

9 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

 

OMG.  8+ sites?  That sounds like a full time job!  Curious what trans dating sites there are????   I tried helping my friends find something, and the only sites I saw were basically sex sites that used language I found borderline insulting (at best). 

 

I tried online dating briefly many years ago, and the experience was harrowing.  And rather predatory.  I was only looking for a girlfriend at the time.  Just some nice, cute girl who might love me.  It ended up being a random encounter in a store that led me to my forever family. 

I wished I could find someone. It was expensive with all those dating sites. Some were free though. 

[gennee]

Hi Ashley and welcome to the forums. Congratulations on becoming your authentic self. You are still awork in progress so keep working on yourself to improve.

 

As far as a partner, it takes time. I know that you desire someone who will love you are who you are. There is someone out who is looking for someone like you, so don't give up.  

[Ashley0616]

Well I put myself out there again on Facebook dating. One guy is interested in me. There were quite a few others interested but they were too old and one blocked me before I could even respond. He probably finally read that I said I was trans. Oh well. I'm not going to expect anything so if it happens wonderful if not oh well. I'll be happy either way. 

[Mmindy]

9 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I'm not going to expect anything so if it happens wonderful if not oh well. I'll be happy either way. 

This is good Ashley,

 

I agree with @gennee. There is a person out there who is looking to be your supportive plus one.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[MaeBe]

1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

There is a person out there who is looking to be your supportive plus one.

This states something inherently that I think is very important: You have value and are good enough on your own, being supported doesn't take anything away from that. Nor does wanting support and love in your life. Making connections, even if they don't turn out the way you expect, is vital to the human experience. A person may go looking for love, but finds a best friend. Or you may go looking for community and find love. All of that takes strength, strength to be vulnerable to open ourselves to others.

 

I do hope you find good connections, may they bring manifold joys to your life!

[Ashley0616]

Thank you @Mmindy

 

@MaeBe

[Ashley0616]

Well update on my life. I have a serious relationship with a Marine! His name is Julian. He is stationed in Texas doing recruiting. He still has a lot of time left on his enlistment but that's ok. I have the butterflies in my stomach feeling. He knows I'm trans and knows I'm still male down there and isn't scarred off. He's a keeper!

[Mmindy]

29 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

He's a keeper!

That’s wonderful Ashley❤️

 

Best wishes, stay positive and safe

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋❤️

[Ashley0616]

It's official I'm done giving effort. He wanted money. He said he gave his money all away to a homless man and than asked for 200 dollars. I told him I didn't have it and he still expected me to give it. I told him my kids always come first. I couldn't take it anymore and blocked him. I can't believe I put in all that time and effort into him and not into my kids. I was being really selfish!