Ashley's Life from Start to Present

[Ashley0616]

Camel is just in it for the ride. 

[Ashley0616]

Gateway to Building 1. There were at least 4 Iraqis that armed the gate before we came in. 

[Ashley0616]

This is were the local nationals and third world country nationals went though to receive free medical care provided by the Italian medics. It was flooded with people. It was elbow room only. 

[Ashley0616]

German night vision goggles that we would use. They were huge and had a decent weight to it. 

[Ashley0616]

This is what we did convoys in. Parked right outside of the Security Forces building. We had to do some lovely paperwork.

[Ashley0616]

This is one of the vehicles that Italians used to patrol outside. 

[Ashley0616]

Italian Military Police vehicle

[Ashley0616]

Private security company. They loved their Fords.

[Ashley0616]

My home for almost a year it was cut short because Army was jealous that we were doing their job so Army took over. Tent city.

[Ashley0616]

Ziggurat city of Ur, Iraq one of the oldest cities in the world,

[Ashley0616]

Tower 1 overwatch for the main gate.

[Ashley0616]

Tower 2 secondary overwatch for the main gate. This is the tower that I blew up a garbage truck because he blew by the gate and didn't go to the search pit.

[Ashley0616]

My squad that I fought alongside in front of the Ziggurat.

[Ashley0616]

Today was great and fun. I was an usher at the church. One of the gentleman told me if there's a male and a female usher he always goes to the female. I felt privileged. After church was over it was our monthly snacks and coffee. I sat down with him and didn't say much. They asked where I was originally from. That was about it that I spoke of. I wanted to listen more but I was happy that I was asked a question. In person I'm not usually one who talks unless it's a date. I can take over the conversation but at the same time I will be asking my fair share of questions. I do believe it's about both parties and shouldn't be just about one. When it was time to leave I left a very nice impression on them. They knew what I was and they didn't attack me. Only had a good talk and that was it. 

[Mmindy]

9 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

When it was time to leave I left a very nice impression on them. They knew what I was and they didn't attack me. Only had a good talk and that was it. 

That’s how you change people. Listening more than talking, and answering the few questions they ask. I’m so happy it was a positive experience for you. 
 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Ashley0616]

I'm just asking for trouble! I put myself out again. I don't know why I even bother. It's just going to be another failed attempt. Oh well I guess I can't say I didn't try I guess. 

[Susan R]

6 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

I'm just asking for trouble! I put myself out again. I don't know why I even bother. It's just going to be another failed attempt. Oh well I guess I can't say I didn't try I guess. 

Think positive! It takes courage to put yourself out there. That gives confidence not only you but to others who read this thread. I agree with @Mmindy that’s how you change people’s view on who we really are. Imagine if all anyone saw was the stereotypical anti-trans propaganda that mainstream conservative media puts out. You did good for our community as every little bit of positive exposure helps.

 

Hugs,

Susan R🌷

[Ashley0616]

Well I think I'm done with my collection of lingerie except for corsets. I only have five corsets and want at a minimum of two more. I love having choices. I ordered some overalls that are pants and one that is shorts. I did get my wedding dress in and will wear that on Saturday or at least to take a picture of. I got a pink formal outfit that I'm going to wear on this coming up Sunday for church since it looks a little too nice for just everyday wear. I got a good number of button down shirts that are silk and long sleeve. I got a couple that are short sleeve but they aren't silk. 

[Ashley0616]

One thing that I have learned is that men are very dumb. They see a pretty girl picture and click like without even first reading about her and I wonder why that is? Are they all just shallow? It really makes me wonder.

[Ashley0616]

On 2/12/2024 at 12:22 AM, Susan R said:

Think positive! It takes courage to put yourself out there. That gives confidence not only you but to others who read this thread. I agree with @Mmindy that’s how you change people’s view on who we really are. Imagine if all anyone saw was the stereotypical anti-trans propaganda that mainstream conservative media puts out. You did good for our community as every little bit of positive exposure helps.

 

Hugs,

Susan R🌷

Thank you I'll try. The frustrating part is the guys don't read my bio and once they find out what I am I get blocked. The females I liked they want cis only. The area I'm in isn't great for dating as trans.

[Ashley0616]

Today has been good so far. Yesterday I had two migraines, and the new medication seems to help. The tension however is always in the back of the head and shoulders. It's dull and achy so I'm glad that at least it's not sharp like it was before. Hopeful that I'll find someone who loves me as I am and not just someone who chases after trans but heck, I'm to the point where I would probably take that. I love when I'm talking to them and learning as much as I can. I would love to find a trans man because they know the struggle that we face day to day. I do tend to get clingy but I'm working on it. 

[Ashley0616]

Well potty training has still been an issue with my youngest son. He does at his mom's house but not mine. I don't get it. Gender dysphoria has been a big issue lately for me. I have a meeting with my therapist tomorrow so I'm happy about that. On February 28th I get to do blood work for the endocrinologist and hopefully will see good results. I always get nervous. Last time my testosterone levels were high, and I don't know why I'm taking sprio like I should and always change my patch at the exact time it needs to be replaced. I'm hoping for low testosterone levels and decent estrogen. She also checked some other stuff. I think one was A1C level and it was at a 7 last time which puts me still as a diabetic range. I just checked my weight. I'm still gaining, and I don't know why. I'm doing everything possible eating healthy, walking, sleeping is good. I was able to get down to 221 and somehow, I'm 235. I weighed myself after a week of not doing it. I don't even eat very much either. I wished I could get to the bottom of this! Is it the hormones? Is it my A1C level that is high and the Ozempic isn't doing its job? I'm to the point where I feel gross when I'm eating. I HATE my body!

[MaeBe]

1 hour ago, Ashley0616 said:

On February 28th I get to do blood work for the endocrinologist and hopefully will see good results. I always get nervous.

Doctor appointments and labs do that, don't they? I was so nervous about my labs before I went on HRT, that they'd find something.

 

1 hour ago, Ashley0616 said:

Last time my testosterone levels were high, and I don't know why I'm taking sprio like I should and always change my patch at the exact time it needs to be replaced.

I decided to do monotherapy, because Spiro would mess with my BP med and I didn't want to mess with it. I am concerned it's not doing enough to suppress T, but I know it is demonstrably doing so--even so far as I've noticed my exercise output is diminished by a noticeable margin. I used to be able to push and get new Personal Records on my Peloton, but now if I get close to my old records I'm thrashed. I could probably train harder to achieve more, but it's obvious my baseline has dropped and not from lack of exercise.

1 hour ago, Ashley0616 said:

I'm to the point where I feel gross when I'm eating. I HATE my body!

It sounds, from afar, like medication related. Doing all the right things, but still gaining weight. Maybe your Endo will have some insight? Keep doing the good things though!

 

Sending support from afar!

💜Mae

[Ashley0616]

Well, I just got turned down again because I said I didn't want to be just a sex object. It has happened 10 times. 45 blocked me once they read my bio that I was trans. I hate the location I'm at. I just want to go to where I feel welcomed and treated as a female by someone. I'm not even picky I would go out with a guy or a girl. I tried to match up with 20 females and no luck. I look passable, I think. I just don't get people. It was even hard to date as a guy and it seems to even be harder as dating as a trans. I'm still going to continue to try but it looks very dim that I might meet someone who will actually treat me as a female. This just makes me want to move but I can't because I share custody with my ex, so I'm stuck here until the boys are out of the house. Who knows what the world will look like in 17 years. Sorry for another sad post but I'm simply speaking how I feel and what is on my mind. 

[Mmindy]

I’m sorry you had another bad experience with dating. 
 

Hugs

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋