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When I meet another driver to swap loads and he offers me a hand down out of my truck.

When guys won't let me do the 'dirty work' dropping or hooking up a trailer.

When (due to waiting for court date still) someone calls me and asks to speak with my husband/boyfriend because I can't use my new name for work til it's official. My now bored response to this is, "yes, that is who you're speaking with."

When all of the above (not just my little list) is commonplace and I don't think twice about any of it.

<3

Elena

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Guest Kael147

This is an interesting question. I am married to a cisgender woman, so I think impossible to pick otherwise, but I think if I were single, may be more open to whom I would date and I would be prepared to marry whomever I fell in love with.

I've fallen in love with men and women in my lifetime, I'm mostly attracted to women whether mtf or not, but if I wasn't already marry, I would absolutely be amenable to dating someone who accepts me and has similar wants, desires, and dreams. He or she would also have to respect my children. Ya.

Ladies, I'm no John! Lol

Kael

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=30886&st=20

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IMO Cross dressing is a reaction to a hormonal chemical imbalance in the brain/body and is also a self validation of how you feel to yourself. That's it.

The cross dressing itself I believe has a short term effect on these chemicals that are mood enhancing. As far as the shame or revulsion after orgasm - I attribute to the scientifically proven spike in prolactin that occurs immediately after orgasm which radically lowers your sex drive (which is, again, part of why we cross dress in the first place) and also prevents your ability to have another erection soon afterwards. Just my opinion.

Deena

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Using only 250 words to describe yourself is a difficult task. I asked my friends for help and one reminded of the values by which I try to live my life. The Values of a Marine. Dependability- The certainty of proper performance of duty. Bearing- Creating a favorable impression in carriage, of appearance and personal conduct at all times. Courage- the mental quality that recognizes the fear of danger or critisism, but enables man to proceed in the face of it with calmness and firmness. Decisiveness- Ability to make decisions promptly and to annouce them in a clear forceful manner. Endurance- The mental and physical stamina measured by the ability to withstand pain, fatigue, stress and hardship. Enthusiasm- The display of sincere intrest and exuberance in the performance of duty. Initiative- Taking action in the absence of orders. Integrity- Uprightness of character and soundness of moral principles; includes the qualities of truthfulness and honesty. Judgment- The ability to weigh facts and possible solutions on which to base sound decisions. Justice- Giving reward and punishment according to merits of the case in question. The ability to administer a system of rewards and punishments impartially and consistently. Knowledge- Understanding of science and art. The range of one's information including professional knowledge and an understanding of your Marines. Tact- The ability to deal with others without creating offense. Unselfishness- Avoidance of providing for one's own comfort or advancement at the expense of others. Loyalty- The quality of faithfulness to country, The Corps, the unit, to one's seniors, subordinates and peers. These values have played an important part of my life, my friendships and quest for social justice.

I would suggest, at a minimum consider what musicalice said. Above what I place in red is, as far as I can tell, a direct word for word quote from a Wikipedia page (Michelle's source as she provides the link). Maybe you didn't realize Michelle's source. Given that is over 90% of the content, if not properly attributed, it very well could be considered plagiarism. For all I know that page is a verbatim copy from Marine Corps material. You can include it and attribute it, but since it is most of the content I expect it won't meet a warm reception that way.

My suggestion would be to rephrase in your own words the key values to you and limit to just a few like musicalice (I got lost too in the middle). Or you can direct quote a few (attribute the quote if you do), but make it only a small portion. Then talk about what those things mean to you and how they affect the way you live your life.

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Guest HoWeVeRmine

Honestly, it was incredibly terrifying, but I worked up the courage.

I felt more confident because of all of the lovely support here at Laura's, and I just read every coming out story the internet had to offer.

That main hurdle you have to get past is that moment when you're all choked up and you want to tell them so badly but you just can't find the right words... I find if you just spit something out, any word even, "I" it's the push to get the momentum.

Hope everything goes good for you when you do come out c:

Koty

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Guest Sarahwr

Hi.

I wish you all the luck in the world. It is quite natural to ask your self all these questions and indicates that you are thinking things through.

Remember though it is impossible to think of everything. Something or someone will try to put a spoke in the wheel.

As far as dressing is concerned I now wear female clothes everyday and apply a light make-up. My clothes are female jeans, female tee shirt, female cardigan, though this may not be in keeping with a student but as I'm 67 it goes with my usual attire.

I have female shoes but these are functional and not particularly feminine looking e.g. they do not have heels as would be on court shoes for example.

Unfortunately I still have to shave so I have a set routine in the mornings.

I allow about 45 minutes to shower, shave, apply a foundation, in my case I use a Boots tinted moisturiser, a light eyeshadow, rouge or blush to give my cheeks some colour, a light powder followed by a flick over with my make-up brush and end with my mascara.

Even if I am not going out I add lipstick because from my point of view this just finishes things off.

At home I also wear earrings because again I think these are one of those particular feminine things that make me feel as I want to.

I try not to draw attention to myself however I do get "double takes" when people look at me. It doesn't matter.

Please keep us up to date with how it goes for you. We all learn from one another because everyones circumstances are different.

Best wishes,

SarahW

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Guest nikkiangel

Reading and listening to music are simple activities I didn't think of; good ideas! Taking a shower is too much of a hassle for a quick remedy. :P The areas I'd like to shave are off-limits, though. :/

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Guest Robin Winter

Reading and listening to music are simple activities I didn't think of; good ideas! Taking a shower is too much of a hassle for a quick remedy. :P The areas I'd like to shave are off-limits, though. :/

Duplicate from This topic.

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If you feel comfortable with doing it, try sugaring your facial hair. It makes your hair a lot less visable. I've done it. It hurts, by my face was all nice and smooth after. x3

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Guest Kael147

Hey talon, thank goodness I haven't had one of those weeks in 11 years, but I still have ovaries and I find that there is absolutely a cyclical nature to my strength, energy and emotions.

I hope it'll be better on t, but give how the doses are administered, I suspect it will be a whole new cycle of hormonal changes! I'm hoping I get stronger!

I find if I'm taking good care of myself (diet, exercise, and sleep) that the effects are lessened. A little spirituality helps too!

Not sure if this helps, but seems normal to me.

Kael

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Guest Stormrider2112

Such wonderful pictures of two very happy women.

But I do have to agree with Shilo - Something about green grass in January just seems sooooo wrong.

Mia

We just got our first real snow storm yesterday (had a freak blizzard on Halloween, but it was gone within hours)...and 47º is PARKA weather? Good god, I'm in a t-shirt and jeans at 50º! Parka weather is -10º! :P (I have yet to wear anything heavier than a light fleece windbreaker this winter :D).

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Guest Stormrider2112

Such wonderful pictures of two very happy women.

But I do have to agree with Shilo - Something about green grass in January just seems sooooo wrong.

Mia

We just got our first real snow storm yesterday (had a freak blizzard on Halloween, but it was gone within hours)...and 47º is PARKA weather? Good god, I'm in a t-shirt and jeans at 50º! Parka weather is -10º! :P (I have yet to wear anything heavier than a light fleece windbreaker this winter :D).

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As far as I can tell, in Michigan you only need to fill out a forum and have your GT show a record of the gender determining process to change your birth certificate

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Guest Jenny C

A little language correction of the previous message :

And then state clearly what we feel and think in a respectful way to the other thus accepting that it is not his problem... our reactions are always ours and we are responsible for them...

Jenny

If the moderator approving this post can just modify the previous one and delete this one, it would be fine for me... ;-) Love !!!

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.

None of the foods that contain estrogen's will feminize you.....

Otherwise everyone that eats large amounts of licorice would have breasts!

The kind of estrogen's in foods cannot be readily metabolized by the body like the HRT that we get from the doctor....

But, it can work if you can drink 250 glasses of soy milk a day......you should see some minor results...

Remember, if you could feminize with foods, no one would bother to go to the doctors....

Dee Jay

Okay, thanks.

Sorry if it was a stupid question :(

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Guest Mycatstubby

Hi Carolyn. First off, I’d like to start by saying how much it hurts me to hear that your daughter is still suffering from her eating disorder. It’s Hell and I wish her the best of luck with recovery.

As for myself, I have gone to therapy for this over the years. Nothing has helped. As of now, I don’t really know how to describe what’s happening. It feels almost as if the disease is taking over my personality. I’ll use an example from when my friend was here. We were sitting on the sofa watching a movie together when my stomach started to growl rather loudly (all I had eaten that day was a glass of water and three blueberries). The conversation went as follows:

Friend: “You’re hungry. You need to eat something."

Me: “No, I’m not."

Friend: “Let’s see, it’s 78 degrees in this apartment. You’re refusing to eat, you’re wearing a hoody and a triple layer coat and you’re under a blanket. I used to suffer from eating disorders too. You can’t hide anything from me."

At that point I said nothing and just got up and ran to the bathroom (I didn’t purge by the way). I came out a couple of minutes later on the verge of crying since i recognized somewhat of what was happening.

Me: “Stop trying to control me. I’m perfectly fine, now back off."

Friend: “What’s more important to you: me or this disease?"

At that point I pushed her out of the way and went into my room.

The above situation is not what I’m like at all. I’m normally never this depressed or short tempered with people.

As for why I’m doing this… I think it’s because I’m depressed and just want the feelings to go away. Starving and purging allow me to feel something besides emotional pain. Like I mentioned, I developed this when I was 11 all because of a “friend’s” comments… I honestly don’t see how I can ever stop the psychological portion of this hell.

By the way, I know no one here (that I know of) is a professional, however I just had to vent. Thanks for hearing me out.

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    • Lydia_R
      This internet video thing is pretty amazing.  I'd call it Zoom, but there are other platforms out there.  I prefer Zoom over Teams because Zoom puts me and everyone else in the same picture.  I like seeing the whole group in one shot.  Teams of course is about having so many people that you can't get them in the shot, or is it?   Just saying that I have never met any of my counselors in person.  Doctors, of course I have and I am lucky there.  They are 3.5 miles from my house as is the main transgender surgery place in town.  I've been doing virtual visits with the medical doctors lately though.  It feels like once I became steady state, they don't need to interact with me physically that much.  I have enjoyed going into their office in my nice clothing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I guess a lot depends on where you start and where you wanna end up.  For me, doing the "boy form" thing has come with disadvantages.  Smaller skeleton, thinner bones, and skinny/tiny everything.  I'll never be taken seriously.  I guess the advantage is that my way of blending in is just kind of confusing.  "Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?"    One of the biggest arguments for starting transition early in life is I think it gives a person a greater ability to pass.  My two MtF friends started early, and pass really well.  They never got to the larger bone structure, beard, deep voice stuff.  Me being intersex (which is more complicated) and not getting around to "boy form" until my 30's, my body size and features were pretty much set in stone.      You're lucky.  Some folks pay all that and more, even AFTER insurance.  One of my friends faced the choice last year - pay for her final year of college or pay for her meds.  She's taken a year off from college to work and save up money to finish.    My medical expenses have been more injury-related than therapy or medication   The state covered some of it with a fund for crime victims, insurance covered a lot, but there's ended up being a few thousand dollars spent out-of-pocket since 2022 to put me back together again.  I've never found a decent therapist, but my husband has a psych degree among other things, so I figure talking with him is almost as good.  I do have a good doctor, although I have to drive a long way to a big city to see her.  Mostly she takes a basic look at me, and writes another year's prescription.  Since I'm non-op and only using testosterone cream for a localized effect, its pretty simple stuff. 
    • Lydia_R
      I'm a tracker and I've paid for 100% of my transition costs out of pocket.  Counseling was a huge, huge part of my transition and well worth my money.  Not to be uppity about all of this.  I'm just sharing information I have because I have it and it may be useful for others.  Here is my analysis of my spending on transition over the last 2.5 years:   Medical Doctors and Blood Draws: $2,397 Counseling: $3,800 Medications (brand name): $2,702.85 Medications (generic): $485.39 Total: $9,385.24   I picked up on the internet early in transition that transition is a consumer activity.  I tend to agree with that.   This year (Jan - May 18th, 2024), I've spent: Medical Doctors: $102 Medications: $241.52 Total: $343.52   So I'm on a much more sustainable path with it.  I'm pretty happy with where I am with it, although I do still desire surgery and am nervous about how that will all unfold.  But my doctors have me on this steady state thing.  I could seek out other medications, but what I'm doing is good enough.  Oh, I'm missing something....  I did a bunch of electrolysis that didn't appear to have any effect.  I've always enjoyed shaving and I use pink shaving cream now (I've got some lipstick blond in me).  It's good enough.  Not sure if I'll do electro or laser in the future.  The need to shave my body has become less and less.  Before HRT, I was shaving my body weekly or even every 5 days.  Now it is more like 2-3 weeks.  Everyone's body hair is different.  My beard is very coarse and stiff while my body hair has been somewhat minimal and light.  It's nice to have smooth legs and not have to shave as much.   Counseling was $200/session.  I tried one or two counselors before I found one who resonated with where I really was.  When I was prescribed HRT, I didn't fill the prescription until 4 months later.  I had to take some time to decide that I really wanted to take on that lifetime financial commitment.  And of course the possibly negative health consequences too, but I think I was actually thinking more about the finances of it all.  Maybe 51%.   I did a lot of work to revitalize my career before jumping into medical transition.  I started counseling 3 months before I got the best paying job of my life.  The pressure of wanting to transition was so great that I couldn't wait any longer.  She was coming out.  Even though I had very little money, I splurged on some nice dresses and a full length mirror and then started counseling.  Sometimes you just have to move forward and hope for the best.  Other times it is better to wait and do some hard work.  The grace of it all..
    • Ivy
      And when the pressure is released it sucks in heat.  I had a regulator leaking and it was covered with ice.  It's how a heat pump works as well.   Why do they always pick names like this?  It's like the exact opposite of what it really is. I hate politics so much.  But I still have to follow it.
    • Lydia_R
      Wonderful!  This reminds me of a discussion I had with my brother a decade ago.  I said that things expand when they get hotter.  He said, no, they expand when they get colder.  And I had to think about that for a while.  The weird thing is that H20 is special in that when it reaches freezing, it expands.   The pressure makes the cold and then we see the condensation.
    • KatieSC
      I used to have a really good therapist, however, she does not accept health insurance reimbursement fees as they are too low. I had to pay 130 per session. When she decided to jack the rates to 185 per hour, I cut bait. Without a doubt, counseling is very helpful. What concerns me greatly is that we are a vulnerable population. Unfortunately, we can easily be targeted for some pretty high fees. How many of us have been in the situation where our healthcare provider, surgeons, or counselors, have required cash payments? We get jammed as well by the health insurance companies as they often will not pay for items that could be essential to our well-being. It is my contention that our chances of being targeted for violence, death, or harassment, go up when we cannot easily blend in with the female population.    For those of us that are MTF, some of us are blessed with more feminine features, and many of us are not. We get the whammy of a larger skeleton, bigger hands, bigger feet, a beard, a deep voice, and masculine face. It takes a lot for some of us to be able to blend in. My belief is that the better we blend in, the better chance we have of not being targeted. In this, electrolysis, facial feminizing/gender affirming facial surgery, voice/speech therapy with voice feminization/gender affirming voice surgery, and body contouring are all potentially lifesaving. Unfortunately, many of the insurance companies deem the procedures as cosmetic, and yet there is no cosmetic that fixes all of these issues.    If you pay your money, you can get anything you want in this world. The sad reality is that for us, many of these procedures would enhance our lives tremendously, yet we face ongoing battles with our very existence. Yeah, an empathetic therapist helps, but is it just the concept of reasonable empathy at a reasonable cost? When my therapist jacked her rates to 185 per hour, I said enough is enough. Your mileage may vary.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I don't think the temperature matters as much.  Think about how gases like CO2 are stored in cylinders, and they are basically the same in summer or winter.  Any gas becomes liquid under enough pressure.  What does matter is the strength of the pressure vessel.  If exposed to excess external heat, pressure increases and can burst a tank or a pipe.  Household propane tanks are often painted white or silver and have safety release valves, because sunlight can heat a tank enough to cause a significant increase in internal pressure, even though the contents remain liquid. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been a long week, and I think this weekend is going to be pretty busy.  The high school is having their graduation later today.  Although we don't have any grads in our family this year, my husband is going because he's involved with the school.  And tonight there's the torchlight ceremony for the county cadets who are finishing their program, and the reading of assignments for the new seniors.  One of my stepkids will be a senior this year.  She's talented, and will be assigned a squad leader position.  My husband is really proud of her, and she's well-liked by her peers even though she's very quiet and serious.    I might get to go on a trip to Texas this week.  The storms that hit Houston caused a lot of electrical damage, so no doubt the utilities in that area will be ordering stuff from my husband's company.  When the big hurricane hit Florida in 2022, we made several trips there with badly-needed equipment, and the entire transportation department was involved in the first convoy.  When he travels, I usually want to go along, since 1-on-1 time is kind of rare for us. 
    • Mmindy
    • Lydia_R
      Maybe surface tension?   I was in a political debate yesterday and it got way too focused on social stuff and I just had to steer the conversation back to how natural gas transitions to a liquid under pressure.  One of the people I was debating had a career working in that field and it was a good opportunity to expose stuff like that.  He mentioned that it isn't just pressure, it is temperature too.  So then I mentioned how the lines are running underground and asked how that played a role in it.  He came back saying that natural gas is a liquid under pressure.  I guess I didn't get a straight answer on that, but it did move my thinking one step down the road.  Perhaps I should have been more direct with him and asked him at what temperature and pressure.  Is there a chart?   I feel people would be better off if they paid more attention to the objects in their environment instead of focusing on some of the things that we hear so much of in the news.  People are pretty clueless as to how much trigonometry plays a role in so many things in our society.  Even land surveyors don't really use it anymore because programmers locked it away in a function.  Much like how cascading style sheets (CSS) is a wrapper for math.  I wonder what former president Trump thinks about all of that?  He must have some knowledge of how his buildings are constructed, right?  There certainly is a part of me that thinks he is just putting on a show about all of this.  Perhaps I'm wrong though.  All kinds of people in the world.
    • Jani
      Me as well.  I can use my left hand for many tasks though.
    • Jani
      Hello Jennifer and welcome back.  I find New England to be a great place to live.  I have a number of acquaintances and friends in Maine and I love the state.  It seems you are doing well.     Hugs,  Jani
    • MirandaB
      Oh, my "maybe this person is an egg" story is the (male presenting) piercing person and I discussed body hair removal methods, he says he doesn't want any hair except on his head, which is what I said during a couple hair removal sessions before and just after the egg cracked.     
    • Karen Carey
      I, too, am lucky.  Here in the UK I have a great therapist, a fully supportive GP, and a psychiatrist and endo who look after me and my needs.  I found the therapist on Psychology Today.
    • Lydia_R
      Over the last few years of being on this site and going through medical transition, I've come to own the M->F identification.  Funny, I made a typo of M->T.  It is a curiosity if I'll ever put Gender: Female on this site.  It is my intention to be there someday.   Right now, because of career stuff and a high stress event with an electric hair clipper last fall, I'm feeling much more masculine than I would like.  I think that once I make some decent headway with my third career, I'll settle into a more feminine feeling.   I never really considered gender very much.  I certainly always used a feminine appearance as my presentation goal. I think that when I was young, I briefly had the idea of transitioning, but I convinced myself quickly that medical transition would be a bad outcome, so I put all those feelings and ideas in the closet for decades.  I'm still very apprehensive about medical transition.  I've always taken health to be a high priority for me.  I wrote a book last December about my fears of it all and my conclusion ultimately is that sometimes there is more to life than being a pillar of health.  It's important to take some chances if that is where your heart takes you.

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