Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

Congratulations @SaraAW for being able to be yourself at work. It is such an amazing feeling.

 

The HR dept. at my job got back to me today. As much as I wanted it, I didn't expect to hear from them for a couple days. Here's the message they sent.

 

Good morning Elizabeth,

 Thank you for your email. I appreciate you being comfortable with coming to me with this amazing and frightening phase in your life.

 As your employer, we will do everything we can to provide you with a safe and comfortable work environment. I ask that you come to me or (deleted) immediately if you ever feel this isn’t the situation.

 Would you like us to update the staff as to your change and make the appropriate changes in your employee photo,  email signature and email address?

 The best of luck to you and (deleted) as you continue through this journey in your lives.

  (Deleted)

 Director of Human Resources

Of course I said yes. Update the staff, change my email, I'm even getting a new ID. Feels like my life is finally coming together.

 

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2033

  • KymmieL

    1650

  • Mmindy

    1374

  • Ivy

    1183

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

  • Forum Moderator

@ElizabethStar this is fantastic news. Never would have happened in my day and be proud to be a pioneer and standing up for yourself. I am so proud of you girl. I?hope all goes well but be alert and watch for push back. As far as weve come culture is still there and I suspect you will still see and feel those who refuse to understand and try to sabotage you. I am not trying to be negative but those who don't and won't understand will be out there. Just be cautious. You are much too important and I want to see you make it and show those who won't like what you are doing.

Know you have someone who witnessed a lot in industry (I worked in aerospace and oil and gas industries. good old boy, family owned companies and the politics and money and cut throat tactics disgusted me and I was never able to get discrimination and fairness especially in human resources to stick and I as a male. Speaking out and was screwed so often for sticking up for women who were treated horribly but took it and didn't rock the boat. I hope things have changed I just don't want to see you hurt in that way.

Hugs

Link to comment

@Shay I've seen it. There is a "boys club" where I work too but I've always been treated as an outsider. There's been only one person I hung out with outside of the job, he overdosed and passed 12 years ago.  I haven't wanted to hang with any co-workers since then. And although we're pretty loose with our rules for interacting with each other they react swiftly when someone crosses the line. I've seen people fired in less than 10 minutes after being hired for making a single smart-ass comment.

I will not live in fear and suppress myself to make others happy. I know the dark, dark places I will go to.

 

I have been physically beaten down for defending women. The first time it cost me the ACL in my right knee. The second time tore more cartilage in the same knee and I got a broken tooth for my trouble.

 

My state does has some pretty strict anti-discrimination laws. I know they will only protect me to a point but I will exhaust every resource I have if I need to use them.

 

All I can do is move forward with dignity and pride. With every step I take the road behind me disappears. I'm on a journey of self-love. I will never look back.

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I think just about every where there is the boys club. I have never been a member. I have always been on the outside. ever since school I was a nobody from the auto shop. People knew me by my car than by me.

So I know exactly what you are saying.

 

Kymmie

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@ElizabethStar thank you for sharing more of your story. YOU are an example of pure bravery and I admire you and applaud you as an incredible woman and I know you won't buckle and I cannot say enough about your character. I have been attacked, thankfully physically and i know what is ahead of you and I am so happy to see a company with zero tolerance and a start stepping up for equality. I can't be any prouder to know you.

Link to comment

Reading thru the boys club comments. I’ve been blessed to work in healthcare, specifically in ICU. On my shift we have 20-25 Nurses working. I mostly do Charge Nurse, we maybe have 2 or 3 male nurses total out of about 125 Nurses. So I’ve been fortunate not to have been up against it. I have read some pretty crazy stories about what happens with men in the work place. All my thoughts to each of you that have to experience this issue. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning everyone. Happy Saturday (well mine at least) Listening to the Reo Speedwagon /Chicago red Rocks concert. nice warm cup o coffee by my side. Beautiful blue clouds in the sky, about 80 forecast.

Going to work on the sound system in my Crown Vic today.  That is the plan anyway. could  change if I decide to do something else.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment

Hei alle sammen,

Three more weeks until name change is finalized! Then can I stop having to sign the dead name that reminds of years of repression and hiding. Having that court order to legalize and validate my true existence is big. I know that it also means the real work will start. Changing birth cert., driver's license, VA records, checking account, loans, voter registration (very, very important) university records and diplomas and the name on the mailbox. The work will be worth it!

Today I have to be a serious student. I have put off a pysch paper longer than I should have. 

Velsignelser

Erikka

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hurrah Erikka - congrats - a lot of work I'm learning but glasd you have another task checked off the checklist.

Link to comment

Congrats Erikka, I bet that is an amazing feeling. 
 

I was talking to some neighbors last night and two more people asked about me and the one called me a bad ass for doing what I’m doing. So far my friends and neighbors have been amazing and far more supportive than my family except for my wife she has been great through the whole time.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi everyone 

 

It hasn’t been the greatest day today.  I have a migraine which was getting better but now is getting worse again.

 

Its September isn’t it?  Well we are having the hottest days we’ve had all summer.  I thought it was supposed start getting cooler.

 

Been sharing with a mother whose 13 year old daughter has been cutting.  Her father Won’t accept that she needs support, mental help and not her dad fighting her over puberty blockers.  The dad is fighting tooth and nail to retain his son even if it means He could drive his daughter to suicide.  Her mother already had to commit her due to the cutting.  Mom is asking the TG community here for ideas to convince her ex husband to allow the blockers and support their child as his daughter.

 

several of us have been responding.

Link to comment
7 hours ago, Kylie said:

Reading thru the boys club comments. I’ve been blessed to work in healthcare, specifically in ICU. On my shift we have 20-25 Nurses working. 

I'm with ya, I was a PICU RN for years and then a massage therapist so have been blessed with no Good o' Boys in a while.  Now Army days....... that was a different beast all together.

Link to comment

And so.....the HRT journey begins!!!! First dose was today.

I'm not having to high of expectations for a quick start. Apparently my Testosterone levels were 20% above normal range for a man in his prime (which I'm not lol) and my "sex hormone binding globulin" level was elevated as well so the doc thinks I'm gonna need higher than normal doses to get where we need to be but I have to start at beginner doses for 2 months to see where that brings things.  I don't care though- it's celebration time!!!

Link to comment

@ElizabethStar That is wonderful! So happy it went well with you too. I know I felt so much relief, one of my biggest fears is not being able to support my wife and I if I were to have lost my job in coming out.

 

@Erikka That's so exciting! I am right behind you. Just picked up the guarantors form from my docs today. Meeting my friend on the weekend who will notarize it, then it's the mail and hopefully an new birth certificate with Sara on it will arrive a month or so later.

 

@Willow Sorry to hear about the migraine. I suffer from those too. That's one of the reasons I got my septum and nasal surgery. So far, I've only had one headache and it was pretty minor, probably just a muscle tension headache. I hope you all can convince that man to accept his daughter and save her life. It just kills me how obstinate people can be.

 

@Bri2020 YAY!!!!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Willow, it is supposed to be Sept. 80s tomorrow and through the weekend. but Tuesday forecast for 30s and white crap. It is however Wyoming. Blink and the weather will have changed.

 

Well not sure what to make of my wife. Last night she says last week I was close to signing over the bike into to just your name. Yeah, she got bent out of shape because I took a ride to Cheyenne with out her. How possessive can you get. Not wanting me to enjoy the bike with out her.

 

I don't know what to make of her. With some of the comments she makes. Maybe its a good thing I am looking to move.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
14 hours ago, Willow said:

Been sharing with a mother whose 13 year old daughter has been cutting.  Her father Won’t accept that she needs support, mental help and not her dad fighting her over puberty blockers.  The dad is fighting tooth and nail to retain his son even if it means He could drive his daughter to suicide.  Her mother already had to commit her due to the cutting.  Mom is asking the TG community here for ideas to convince her ex husband to allow the blockers and support their child as his daughter.

 

several of us have been responding.

@Willowis this a thread here? As a child from an abusive family I feel I may be able relate in some ways and would like to follow along.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Yes... Happy pre Labor Day... Have fun on your 3 day weekend...Today I come out to my Godmother being both parents have passed, 1 brother has Alzheimer's and the other is estranged so this will be the only true flesh and blood I want to come out to and I am feeling good about it.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 105 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,057
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Aleksandria
    Newest Member
    Aleksandria
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      (22 years old)
    2. CtN1p
      CtN1p
    3. heyim_finn
      heyim_finn
      (21 years old)
    4. Jayn
      Jayn
    5. joni_girl_1988
      joni_girl_1988
      (51 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ladypcnj
      Thanks Sally Stone
    • KymmieL
      Thanks, Mindy. It has been so far. Tomorrow, work some more on the wife's grand monkey. Got the right side of the hood primed, just need to do a little more work on the left then I can prime it. Then a 600grit wet sand.   I promised the wife we would take out the bike this weekend.   Kymmie
    • JessicaMW
      During my last visit with my psychologist (who has agreed to provide required letters of recommendation along with a colleague to provide the second) we discussed the shift towards my wife's acceptance. It was a long discussion but one point I mentioned was how much the two of us sitting down and watching this documentary helped:  The Kings | A transgender love story (2017)
    • Betty K
      Oops, I did not mean to post that comment yet! I was going to also say, having read a mountain of commentary on the Review, I think Julia Serano’s response (linked by Vicky above) is the most accurate and thorough. You can also read a non-paywalled version at Substack: https://juliaserano.substack.com/p/the-cass-review-wpath-files-and-the   To me the three key areas in which the review is deficient are:   1. As has already been said here, its views on social transition;   2. Its attempts to give credence to the “ROGD” theory (without ever actually mentioning ROGD because presumably a canny editor knows that would be too transparently transphobic);   3. To me, most crucially, its claims about trans youth and suicide, which are dealt with summarily in about five pages and do not stand up to any deeper scrutiny.    I will be writing about each of these issues in isolation over the next few weeks and appearing on a radio show and podcast to discuss them late in the month. I will post links to these on TP later if anyone is interested.   All that said, I actually think it’s dangerous for us to respond with outright vitriol and condemnation to the review since, like any effective piece of disinformation, it does actually contain some factually based and even helpful recommendations. The Tavistock Gender Identity Service really was underfunded and understaffed and certain staff were not adequately trained. Trans kids really were funnelled away from mental-health support once they started gender-affirming care too. So yes, more investment in youth psychology services would help, as would a less centralised model of care, more training in treatment of trans kids, and more research.   One last thing for now: beware the claim that Cass ignored 98% of studies. That’s not strictly true. She seems to have taken other studies into account but leaned heavily on the 2% that met her standards. Nor does she ever claim that only randomised controlled trials are good enough evidence to justify the use of blockers for kids; just as with ROGD, she strongly suggests this, but is too canny to say it, because she knows such trials would be impossible. For now, I think the best response to this comes from the Trans Safety Network: “[…] we believe there to be systemic biases in the ways that the review prioritises speculative and hearsay evidence to advance its own recommendations while using highly stringent evidence standards to exclude empirical and observational data on actual patients. “ (https://transsafety.network/posts/tsn-statement-on-cass-final-report/)   To me, the scariest aspect of all this is that, if it follows Cass’s recommendations, the NHS will very likely follow Finland’s recent model of trans care, which seems to amount to a prolonged form of conversion therapy. I can’t find the link right now, which is probably lucky for anyone reading this, but I bawled my guts out reading the testimonies of kids who had been mistreated by that system. Truly horrific. To me, at least from my Australian perspective, the Cass Review is the most frightening development in trans rights in recent years. To me, the safe care of trans kids is THE number one issue in politics atm.   Ruth Pierce has a good summary of responses from trans folk and their allies sk far: https://ruthpearce.net/2024/04/16/whats-wrong-with-the-cass-review-a-round-up-of-commentary-and-evidence/    
    • Sally Stone
      Welcome to the wide, wild world of transgender, M.A.  It can definitively be overwhelming, but everyone here is amazing, so no doubt you'll get bunches of wonderful support. I think you'll be happy you found us.   
    • Sally Stone
      @Ladypcnj  This is so true.  I think all of us here have had a post or two that didn't get a response.  Sometimes, it's as simple as adding to your original to post for a clearer explanation, or re-reading what you wrote originally, and rephrasing it.  But don't despair, we aren't ignoring you.   Hugs,   Sally 
    • Willow
      So, we left for lunch in our Taos, talked and went to the dealer and came home with the Cadillac.  
    • Betty K
      I have just finished reading the Cass Review, all 380-odd pages of it, and am totally open to questions including via DM if anyone wants more information on it
    • Abigail Genevieve
      What season are you?  If you don't know, look around on the internet. Or ask a girl friend..  Maybe someone here is even a color consultant?   And there are guides on figure-flattering clothes for all shapes that you should look into.    Abby
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Just know that your kids will probably turn out OK, in spite of the chaos.  One of my partners was widowed in her very early 30s, left with 3 kids.  They're teens now, and one graduated a year ago and is working, but still living at home.  A few bumps in the road, but the three are turning into responsible young adults.  It is amazing how resilient kids can be.  They should be able to handle your changes as well.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Had my time with my 2 long friends I was in the Army with.We went through the photo books and talked memories.They also found about the guy that bullied and sexually assaulted me.He is in prison,sexually assaulted and raped 2 women off base.Doing a 40 year sentence for this and was dishonorable discharged
    • Cindy Lee
      I've been transitioning now for eight months but have been wearing women's clothing for 2+ years. I am over weight and approaching my 72nd birthday. I have purchase my solid color clothing online and recently graduated to 'V' neck tops. I have been hesitant to get anything more girly due to family issues, though with my hair style I am able to totally pass when dressed in a skirt and blouse.   About two  months ago I finally went and got my nails done (which I truly which I had done long ago) though not red nor pink (again family issues). To date I don't think I am having problems with being trans unlike others seem to have. The biggest problem I am having is with my clothing. Any suggestions my girl friends might have would be greatly appreciated.   Cindy
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Umm.... if a post is ignored, live with it?   My stuff gets ignored sometimes, and its OK.  My life is different, and may seem kind of wacky to others.  Some folks just can't relate, or if I'm needing advice they just don't have it.  Diversity is like that sometimes.  If your post gets missed, don't take it personally.  Also, stuff that is new on weekends seems to get ignored more, since most folks are busy with family or other stuff during that time.  Overall, I think people here are pretty helpful. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I'd really love a professional stove.  There's actually one I want at Lowes, but its like $6k.  I've got plenty of money, the issue is that I'm not the queen (king?) of my den.  Or even of the kitchen.  My partner (husband's wife #1) owns that territory, and she's very attached to what she's got.  One of our stoves has 6 burners and a large oven, the other has 4 burners and a regular household sized oven.  And of course, there's always the wood-burning equipment.    Today was interesting.  We had the first campaign fundraiser for our sheriff and my sister.  My sister is running to be constable of our township.  Pretty sure she'll win, as her opponent is an old dude who is mostly running on "Don't elect a woman for a man's job"    What's weird is our sheriff is running as a Democrat, but he's conservative.  And his Republican opponent sounds like a leftist.  Welcome to Upside-down-ville   And of course all the kids got the chance to sit in a sheriff's car, and play with the lights.   We had a barbecue lunch and a dessert auction.  I baked three apple pies for it, and I was shocked that they sold for $20 each, since my cooking isn't that great.  My partner made her famous "Chocotorta."  It's like a chocolate layer cake with cream cheese, sweetened condensed milk, and it tastes amazing.  Usually we have it for Christmas and other really special occasions.  Two guys got into a bid war, and it sold for $175!!!    Yep, this is politics in the South.  Barbecue, pies, and police cars.  A great way to spend a Saturday
    • Davie
      Yes. That report is part of a conspiracy to torture and murder trans people. It is a lie. It is evil.

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...