Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Stefi]

Thanks Mmindy..See my posts from Sat and Sunday..STEFI WANTS OUT and I do not know what to do. I am trying to save my marriage. I can not keep hiding who I am. Getting very depressed..

 

Stefi

[Mmindy]

2 hours ago, Stefi said:

STEFI WANTS OUT and I do not know what to do. I am trying to save my marriage.

I was in the same boat a year ago. My wife is still morning the husband that she no longer has, and I haven't gone anywhere. She has been all over the spectrum FIRE HOT MAD to Loving and understanding. Just because we (you and I) need to be the women we need to be doesn't mean we want to give up our relationship with our spouses. We (you and I) need to give them time to process this realization of being Transgender.

 

Stay positive, and safe

 

Mindy

[Ivy]

6 hours ago, Stefi said:

I know you all cant help except verbal support, but I am aching to vent. 

Unfortunately this is true.   

But we can listen.

[Stefi]

Stefi _I_ want out. Out of this body and into one that is the real me. I want to be treated as a woman. I want my wife to accept me for who I am. Is this too much to ask for?

 

 

Stefi

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Stefi said:

Stefi _I_ want out. Out of this body and into one that is the real me. I want to be treated as a woman. I want my wife to accept me for who I am. Is this too much to ask for?

 

 

Stefi

 

Not at all. It's all any of us want.

 

Except for the ones that want to be accepted by a husband or non-binary spouse of course.

 

Hugs!

[Bri2020]

4 hours ago, Stefi said:

Stefi _I_ want out. Out of this body and into one that is the real me. I want to be treated as a woman. I want my wife to accept me for who I am. Is this too much to ask for?

 

 

Stefi

Not at all. Are you two working with a counselor at all?  You need to be who you are, but she needs someone to hear her pain of losing who she thought she married. A counselor can help you both help fill each others needs. 

[Elizabeth Star]

Thing exploded again today but I also got some insight to some other details. The explosion...Took my wife for her 2nd covid shot. No less than 4 times she told whatever member of the staff "He already got his, he is just here for emotional support". I don't think she (my wife) has any idea what could happen if she does that at the wrong and place. I tried to mention the misgendering on the way home and ....Kaboom. "I'm not doing things on her schedule, when she's ready. It's all about me, me me,  Argh!!. The only good that came of it was that she told me her mother knew back when, we met that I was trans. Also my wife, for some reason was under the impression That I want to be some sort sort of flamboyant trans-woman. Honestly,I have no idea what the would look like. I cleared the air by saying most of us are not anything like that but don't think she cared to listen.

 

Sorry, sleepy pills just kicked in. Good night everyone

 

[Jackie C.]

7 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Honestly,I have no idea what the would look like.

 

Honestly, I really don't either, but I hope I can go to pride this year. Maybe I'll find out.

 

Though I do dress cute now and again. It's subtle though because I'm old. ?

 

Nothing wrong with emphasizing your assets though.

 

Hugs!

 

[AmberM]

@Elizabeth Star Sorry you had to go through a blow up again. I think I agree, most of us hope to blend in and just be treated as another person. At least that is what I am going after.

 

Well today is day 2 of coming out, it is coming out to the VP over my boss to get her support and see if she has suggestions on how to appropriately spread the name change. Then after that, I have Team Meeting where I come out to them. Kind of anxious, kind of ready to get this done. It will be worth it in the end, just have to get through today. I know I can do it, just kind of on edge over it.

[Jamie68]

My mother in law asked my wife recently if I was coming to a family get together in a dress. Honestly, I'm not even thinking about wearing a dress until I lose some belly fat and grow more bust. I do dream about it though. I'm working on my figure. Friggin belly fat is the worst! 

 

My wife went in to my therapist meeting with me last time. I thought it went ok. Well, I was wrong. Since she opened up about her pain of grieving and feeling like I was going too fast, She thought I was going to cancel my name change till sometime in the future. When I told her I was still going through with it, (mainly because of the fact that it cost close to $400 and it has been in the newspaper twice already) she blew up and said she won't go back to my therapist with me again. This waiting for her grieving process to finish really sucks. Lots of bumps in the road. One minute she's all supportive, the next minute just the opposite. ARG !!!

[Heather Shay]

@AmberM we are there with you congrats you are doing well and it has been a long time coming.

[KymmieL]

3 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

 Friggin belly fat is the worst!

 Wow, My heart goes out to all of you, Amber, Jamie,Liz, and Stephi.

 

Things have been fairly smooth here and at work. Our youngest has coming to the store a couple times and I am free to wear my work shirts at home. Without any problems. I think that since it is out in the open my family is doing better. Know to do the same with our oldest. He is going with how my daughter in law feels. So, I think that is a losing battle. Hopefully a peace accord can be achieved. I can only hope that my new grandchild is a girl. So I can spoil her rotten like I will do her brothers. While I may barely ever get to see my oldests kids.

 

Since the water works are starting, I am such a girl. LOL,

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie

[Bri2020]

Go @AmberM Go!!  you got this.   

[Linda Marie]

So here I am wasting time. Something has been bothering me since I retired. 

I've got everything in order, everything lined up, all I have to do is make the call.

If I start this May, by May, 2023 my insurance will pay for my surgery.

My insurance will also pay for the counseling, and hormone treatments.

 

I'm turning 66 in July, I'm in perfect health, so why don't I finish what I started?

I have been asking myself that question a lot and now ready to take the next step,

after all, it is just a phone call away.

LM♥️

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, Linda Marie said:

 

I'm turning 66 in July, I'm in perfect health, so why don't I finish what I started?

I have been asking myself that question a lot and now ready to take the next step,

after all, it is just a phone call away.

LM♥️

 

get-er done!

[Elizabeth Star]

@AmberM congratulations and good luck in the coming days. Deep breath, you can do this. I was just a bundle of nerves the day I officially came out at work. I did however put it on HR to hit the send button while I sat at my desk, on display, in the middle of our warehouse. 
 

@Jamie68it’s kinda funny what people expect sometimes. I’ve had more that one person tell me they were surprised I wasn’t dressing hyper-feminine 24/7. I do wear skirts and heels but not all the time. I don’t know a single woman who does.  I swear our wives are related. Mine’s been in the grieving process for well over a year and outright refuses to to talk to anyone about it. 
 

@KymmieLyou deserve some goodness. Some of the things you’ve been through were nothing less than, IMO, nightmare-ish. 

[Bri2020]

I met with (virtually) another endocrinologist this morning and I'm both really happy and frustrated.  My E numbers have been falling over the last 6 months and had gotten below therapeutic levels. (I knew falling but didn't realize we were below therapy level)  My endo didn't do anything about it or address my my concerns about not reaching goals so got the second opinion.   He was really great and actually talked to me about what was happening and my expectations. He laid out a plan to up my dosage and if that fails go to injections.  

So now I am feeling more hopeful and have a better endo taking care of my HRT.  

[Jani]

1 hour ago, Linda Marie said:

so why don't I finish what I started?

@Linda Marie What does your wife think?  I know that was important to me.  Or do you think that at your age what does it matter since you are doing well now?  

[Linda Marie]

1 hour ago, Jani said:

@Linda Marie What does your wife think?  I know that was important to me.  Or do you think that at your age what does it matter since you are doing well now?  

My wife is okay with all of it. 

[Linda Marie]

Thought I'd throw this one at you all. Hope you enjoy,

LM♥️

 

[MelanieTamara]

2 hours ago, Linda Marie said:

so why don't I finish what I started?

Oh lord, we are travelling the same road in different dimensions. Why don't I pull the trigger. Make the call. I'm 57. I work for myself. No excuses. I've tied mine to weight loss. 248 as of Aug 27th, 2020 and I said I would pull the trigger, make the call at 188. I have been hovering at 189.4 for the last month. Out to wife (we're getting amicable divorce) but not to kids. Crossdresser for 30 years.

 

It's a nightmare.

 

 

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, MelanieTamara said:

Oh lord, we are travelling the same road in different dimensions. Why don't I pull the trigger. Make the call. I'm 57. I work for myself. No excuses. I've tied mine to weight loss. 248 as of Aug 27th, 2020 and I said I would pull the trigger, make the call at 188. I have been hovering at 189.4 for the last month. Out to wife (we're getting amicable divorce) but not to kids. Crossdresser for 30 years.

 

It's a nightmare.

 

 

Don't let 1lb stop you.  It takes a while to get and then for HRT to kick in anyways so you can continue your weight lose for a bit as you start the process.  If you're not talking to a LCSW or gender therapist at least start by making that call.  Easy enough to pull back before you do anything but you need to talk to one of them to start the process anyways.....

[MelanieTamara]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Don't let 1lb stop you.

It shouldn't, but 30 years ago, when the IFGE and Tapestry magazine were the lifelines, I read somewhere (online maybe now that I think about it) that "at the end of this process, you lose everything, even your balls."

 

And that scares me. It's bad enough battling the dysphoria, but to spend countless energy "preserving" your life's assets (including relationships) is overwhelming I guess. Asking wives to go along with one's gender transition iis a big ask. After all, we are asking them to change their gender preference, one of the most basic human characteristics. So I didn't do that.

 

At least I won't be branded a psychotic now like I would have back then.

 

 

[Mmindy]

14 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I cleared the air by saying most of us are not anything like that but don't think she cared to listen.

My Suzie is worried that once my transition is no longer an inside the family secret. She will be seen as the companion to a freak. Family counseling is paying off for the most part, however she does have unpredictable mood swings when it comes to my manor of dress or observation of others. Like you @Elizabeth Star I don't want, need, or desire to be a glitter slinging flamboyant mixed gendered woman. I just want to be the elderly woman that Mindy is going to be.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

My Suzie is worried that once my transition is no longer an inside the family secret. She will be seen as the companion to a freak. Family counseling is paying off for the most part, however she does have unpredictable mood swings when it comes to my manor of dress or observation of others. Like you @Elizabeth Star I don't want, need, or desire to be a glitter slinging flamboyant mixed gendered woman. I just want to be the elderly woman that Mindy is going to be.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

I think a lot of spouses fear we will become drag queens.  A lot of us do make some questionable fashion choices early on like teanagers do but most setle into "normal" fashion trends.  I'm a complete extravert so I'm out there but I don't think I hyper-feminize or anything. I just don't try to hide.