Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Bri2020]

Today's a big day for me, I'm going to an appointment with a plastic surgeon to discus breast augmentation. I still have a little time before I should get one but I am a planner so wanted to meet/discuss/interview a doctor before I'm eligible.  It's clear I am never going to get to the size I want. Last week I wore a padded push-up bra that basically gave me B+ to small C size look and I loved how I felt and more importantly, how I was treated out and about.  Didn't get misgendered, people opening doors, asking me if I needed help carrying stuff or just finding things in the stores.  It's obvious boobs have power. hahahaha.  On the flip side, they made me feel dysphoric because they were just a costume so when I took the bra off it was such a crashing wake up call. With a tshirt on, I basically look like a man who works out a bit.  My wife thought the size I looked with that bra on was good for me. Not too big but fit my frame well so I am going to wear that to the Drs office as an example of what I'm looking for.  I think it would be wise to go about half a size lower for implants so that IF I get a late small spurt of growth it doesn't push things over the size.  This place will let you revise it once if the size doesn't work for just the cost of the implants themselves, no surgical costs so I feel good about his "satisfaction guarantee" . My goal for an actual surgical date is a hair over my 1 year HRT mark in September. 

[Willow]

Good morning ladies

 

coffee is made and first cup drunk. Guess I need to figure out what to do today before it gets too hot and humid to do it. We’ve had thunderstorms two days in a row and a possibility for more today.   Then things should cool down again as the weather patterns change. It made 90 yesterday in the PeeDee which is the area west of us.  There is certainly a disadvantage when it comes to living in a rice paddy.  We have coyote catchers, snake snaggers , alligator attackers, boar baggers, spider sprayers.  You name it we’ve got someone that specializes in getting rid of it.  

 

Guess I’ll finish my coffee and get ready for my day.

 

Willow

[KymmieL]

1 hour ago, Willow said:

We have coyote catchers, snake snaggers , alligator attackers, boar baggers, spider sprayers.  You name it we’ve got someone that specializes in getting rid of it. 

Would you happen to have someone that gets rid of idiots? The world is full of them.

 

Once again my Friday. and the white crap is falling. Just hope it is doing it this week not next when We head to Bowling Green. 

Don't know What is going with my wife last night. but she seemed to be regressing. Back to her, yeah You live here stage. almost ignoring me. Oh, Well. I am looking foreword to our trip next week.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[Linda Marie]

Hi all, yes it is sad Liz and her wife have come to this point. I hope things work out. 

As far as me I turn 66 in July. My hair is growing out again after I cut it all off when I was going through

a period of, well, lets just a period in my life. I'm sending a close-up of me to give you all a better idea of

what I look like, I'm no spring chicken, but I'm still here.

LM♥️

 

[Davie]

Buenos lates! Felices, cinco de mayo, todos amigas y amigos!

[Linda Marie]

Well the weather broke so I finally took some photo's outside. Well I didn't actually take them, my wife did.

I built this house 21 years ago. It took me a whole year building it. 

[Ivy]

Looks like a nice place.

[Ivy]

It's been a fairly successful day so far (for me).   Trip t the laundromat, the bank to deal with taxes stuff (which I put off too long), and then some gardening.   Some digging, then planted another tomato and a couple more peppers.

Doesn't sound like much, but considering that a couple of months age, a successful day was getting out of bed and actually getting dressed.   Things are looking up finally.

[Willow]

@KymmieLhmm an idiot identifier?  Maybe a dumbo detainer?  Nope, can’t say I’ve seen either of those operators.  I’ve Seen plenty of game for them to pinch.  Don’t even need to hunt, they come to you.

 

Willow

[Linda Marie]

Thought I'd post another video. Not sure why my phone records like looking in the mirror, everything is

turned back wards, I probably messed my phone settings up.

 

I do worry that I might be becoming a little annoying here, if so just say so, I won't take offense. 

I was to play a happier tune but considering what Liz is going through right now I thought this tune

was more appropriate.   

This tune is dedicated to Liz. 

My heart goes out to her and all that go through this part of transitioning.

Take care, love,

LM♥️

 

 

[KymmieL]

Had a good experience today at work. A customer that I have known since I moved up front. She was commenting on my beautiful hair. made me feel good.

 

Everything is going good. Will be home alone tomorrow.  So Kymmie time. Hope to be alone on Friday too. supposed to be nice. and I have a VA appointment.

 

Kymmie

[AmberM]

 

Good morning, hoping everybody had a manageable day yesterday.

 

I’ve been spending the week over at my dad’s for the week to house sit for him. It has been really nice because it is quiet for a change. After coming out at work and on Facebook, I am now enjoying the fruits of my hard work. It has been another fairly slow week at work for me, with fairly light work, which right now is just the calm before the storm. This weekend might be the first time seeing some family in a long time, and for sure the first time they will be meeting Amber. I think it will be a good thing for them to see me in mid transition so they can get used to the slow change versus fast change.

 

Hope everyone has a manageable day, and know you are not alone.

 

[Danni B.]

Good morning everyone.  On my first cup of coffee.  2 mile run this morning.  My first public race since starting hormones.  I was gonna try a full marathon but decided on a half.  I had a great moment this week.  My mom texted me to let me know when she had slipped up and misgendered me my Dad corrected her.  My Dad has been supportive but still getting use to female pronouns.  I actually happy cried when read the text

[Willow]

Good morning everyone 

 

enjoying my coffee. It’s a really nice spring day today.  As promised the cold front came through.  Only going to be 70.  Yes @KymmieL that’s a far cry better than your 37.  But it’s also better than our 90 and humid.  Going to work on my boat today. Hoping to figure out what I’ll need to fit the engine so I can get that moving. I hope I don’t have to replace the control cables.  It was one thing to cut my way into a junk boat to get them out entirely different when I have to thread them in blind.  Too many bulkheads and sharp turns that have to be negotiated.  Same issue with the electric panel, but I have no choice with that one.  I’ll probably try to accomplish that first.

 

My wife will never totally accept my being Trans.  However, we can openly talk about it now, and I can be who I need to be most of the time.  There are those people whom I don’t care to have know about me, but it’s more that I am not coming right up to them and telling them.  I’m not hiding from them.

 

Willow

[Beatriz]

Good day everyone!

 

@Bri2020 I hope your appointment went well. Last weekend I tried a bra with very nice breast shapes and it felt sooo good. I can totally relate to the dysphoric feeling of taking it off.

 

@Linda Marie I loved the blue dress and the song (plus the warm dedication to Liz).

[Heather Shay]

@AmberMglad week has been good at work. Have a restful time introducing Amber.

 

@Linda Marie I didn't notice you to AR left-handed as are Cyndee and I.

[Jamie68]

On 5/5/2021 at 5:40 AM, Bri2020 said:

Today's a big day for me, I'm going to an appointment with a plastic surgeon to discus breast augmentation. I still have a little time before I should get one but I am a planner so wanted to meet/discuss/interview a doctor before I'm eligible.  It's clear I am never going to get to the size I want. Last week I wore a padded push-up bra that basically gave me B+ to small C size look and I loved how I felt and more importantly, how I was treated out and about.  Didn't get misgendered, people opening doors, asking me if I needed help carrying stuff or just finding things in the stores.  It's obvious boobs have power. hahahaha.  On the flip side, they made me feel dysphoric because they were just a costume so when I took the bra off it was such a crashing wake up call. With a tshirt on, I basically look like a man who works out a bit.  My wife thought the size I looked with that bra on was good for me. Not too big but fit my frame well so I am going to wear that to the Drs office as an example of what I'm looking for.  I think it would be wise to go about half a size lower for implants so that IF I get a late small spurt of growth it doesn't push things over the size.  This place will let you revise it once if the size doesn't work for just the cost of the implants themselves, no surgical costs so I feel good about his "satisfaction guarantee" . My goal for an actual surgical date is a hair over my 1 year HRT mark in September. 

I think it's good to plan ahead. I got registered with the surgeon asap because there's an almost 2 year waiting list for bottom surgery. I think it takes 2 years or more for your breasts to grow though. You may want to rethink your time frame.

[Jamie68]

On 5/5/2021 at 6:25 AM, Willow said:

Good morning ladies

 

coffee is made and first cup drunk. Guess I need to figure out what to do today before it gets too hot and humid to do it. We’ve had thunderstorms two days in a row and a possibility for more today.   Then things should cool down again as the weather patterns change. It made 90 yesterday in the PeeDee which is the area west of us.  There is certainly a disadvantage when it comes to living in a rice paddy.  We have coyote catchers, snake snaggers , alligator attackers, boar baggers, spider sprayers.  You name it we’ve got someone that specializes in getting rid of it.  

 

Guess I’ll finish my coffee and get ready for my day.

 

Willow

Wow, I think I'll stay here in central Illinois. I only have wasps wanting to make my home into their home.

[Jamie68]

On 5/5/2021 at 9:32 AM, Linda Marie said:

Hi all, yes it is sad Liz and her wife have come to this point. I hope things work out. 

As far as me I turn 66 in July. My hair is growing out again after I cut it all off when I was going through

a period of, well, lets just a period in my life. I'm sending a close-up of me to give you all a better idea of

what I look like, I'm no spring chicken, but I'm still here.

LM♥️

 

Looks good. 

[Jamie68]

4 hours ago, Danni B. said:

Good morning everyone.  On my first cup of coffee.  2 mile run this morning.  My first public race since starting hormones.  I was gonna try a full marathon but decided on a half.  I had a great moment this week.  My mom texted me to let me know when she had slipped up and misgendered me my Dad corrected her.  My Dad has been supportive but still getting use to female pronouns.  I actually happy cried when read the text

That's great. I rarely have even my wife call me Jamie instead of Jim. It sucks. Pay close attention to your health. The hormones have possible side effects. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm sure you know to drink lots of water. I've been on medical HRT for

2-1/2 months now and haven't noticed any changes except my nipples being tender all the time, hopefully growing boobs.

[Jamie68]

4 hours ago, Willow said:

Good morning everyone 

 

enjoying my coffee. It’s a really nice spring day today.  As promised the cold front came through.  Only going to be 70.  Yes @KymmieL that’s a far cry better than your 37.  But it’s also better than our 90 and humid.  Going to work on my boat today. Hoping to figure out what I’ll need to fit the engine so I can get that moving. I hope I don’t have to replace the control cables.  It was one thing to cut my way into a junk boat to get them out entirely different when I have to thread them in blind.  Too many bulkheads and sharp turns that have to be negotiated.  Same issue with the electric panel, but I have no choice with that one.  I’ll probably try to accomplish that first.

 

My wife will never totally accept my being Trans.  However, we can openly talk about it now, and I can be who I need to be most of the time.  There are those people whom I don’t care to have know about me, but it’s more that I am not coming right up to them and telling them.  I’m not hiding from them.

 

Willow

If you do have to swap cables, make sure you hook an electricians fish tape securely to the old ones before pulling them out so you will be able to pull the new ones through the same path.

[Ivy]

I've been trying to catch up on all the stuff I've been neglecting these past months.  Got the car inspected and tag renewed this morning.  Then a bunch of mowing in the jungle-yard.  

Yesterday I planted another tomato and a couple of pepper plants, one in a pot.  Got to have my hot peppers.

[Elizabeth Star]

 

This is little jumbled and just the cliff-notes.

 

I didn't have the capacity for words to describe things until now. Last week, Wednesday when I took my wife for her 2nd vaccination and she misgendered me 4 times in front of everyone I tried to be polite and mention it her her in a by-the-way tone. She just went off the rails and accused me of attacking her and trying to start a fight. I thought that was the extent of it but it wasn't. Fast forward to Sunday night on of my friend sent me a message literally just to say hi. I was asked what was going on. Oh, it's just so-and-so from Michigan just saying hi......She trans....  Later on I was asked about who all these new FB friends are that I have. I just said there all trans-woman. I was left feeling like I'm not allowed to make friends I thought it was simple.

 

Tuesday on the way home from work she asked me if I would stop and pick up ice cream. Usually these requests are followed up with "and cigarettes".  Due to her health she really needs to quit but won't. She asked me what was wrong and then made the mistake of saying I never tell her the truth about how I feel. So I did and things went really, really bad. I explained how I'm watching her life fade away because of her health conditions and then smoking on top of it. Despite everything I can do, I cannot save her, I cannot fix her, I am completely helpless. So I get a ring-side seat to watch her life force disappear. I know I will wake up one morning and she won't be breathing. My words were met with met with nothing but pure rage. So I said it. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make you happy anymore and we cannot talk without everything turning into a screaming match. I'm done. I'm tired of fighting. I will give you what you had repeatedly suggested I wanted, a divorce. First words out of mouth. You gonna run off and marry one of your trans-friends? Then she started tearing into me about me therapist. Saying he's worthless, is not helping me, all I ever do is lie to her. I don't lie, can't lie. I have omitted things but lie? No, I can't even keep a straight face while playing a joke on someone. She refuses to understand my therapist is helping, I'm still alive. My last suicide attempt has since been minimized and means nothing more to her than a paper cut would.

 

At this point she wants me to cut all ties with everyone in my family. Never talk about "us" with anyone. I'm not allowed to have any friends come to our house especially if they're trans.

 

During all of the emotional stuff there's the physical aspect of it. Our house needs work. I am not longer physically capable of doing a lot of the work. Partially due to loss of muscle mass but mostly because I have to a 2 level fusion in my neck and a knee that is on the verge of needing a full replacement. I didn't have these obstacle 10 years ago. Currently I'm doing 90% of the chores she was doing in addition to everything I was already responsible for. With my increased responsibilities I don't have time for new projects.

 

Since I have been a lot more comfortable with using my pronouns and referring to myself as a woman around her somehow that equates to me shoving my "trans-ness" in her face all the time. Obviously I can be a little juvenile in expression but I'm living and exploring a life I never had and I can be an adult when I need to. She outright refuses to talk about me going forward with transition. Usually stating we can't afford any part of it. The thing is my insurance will cover everything 100% since we already met our $900 (you read that right $900) out-of-pock for the year. My employer/owner stated they will do everything they can to help and support me if/when I go forward. Granted, their good intentions may come from a pervy/fetish place but whatever, it's better than hate.

 

I feel at this point there's nothing I can do to save my marriage. She will never be happy no matter what I do and I will never be happy if I can't move forward. I don't see a  reason why I should even try to hold things together anymore.

 

Anyways, that's part of what's going on.

 

[Jackie C.]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

 

This is little jumbled and just the cliff-notes.

 

I didn't have the capacity for words to describe things until now. Last week, Wednesday when I took my wife for her 2nd vaccination and she misgendered me 4 times in front of everyone I tried to be polite and mention it her her in a by-the-way tone. She just went off the rails and accused me of attacking her and trying to start a fight. I thought that was the extent of it but it wasn't. Fast forward to Sunday night on of my friend sent me a message literally just to say hi. I was asked what was going on. Oh, it's just so-and-so from Michigan just saying hi......She trans....  Later on I was asked about who all these new FB friends are that I have. I just said there all trans-woman. I was left feeling like I'm not allowed to make friends I thought it was simple.

 

Tuesday on the way home from work she asked me if I would stop and pick up ice cream. Usually these requests are followed up with "and cigarettes".  Due to her health she really needs to quit but won't. She asked me what was wrong and then made the mistake of saying I never tell her the truth about how I feel. So I did and things went really, really bad. I explained how I'm watching her life fade away because of her health conditions and then smoking on top of it. Despite everything I can do, I cannot save her, I cannot fix her, I am completely helpless. So I get a ring-side seat to watch her life force disappear. I know I will wake up one morning and she won't be breathing. My words were met with met with nothing but pure rage. So I said it. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make you happy anymore and we cannot talk without everything turning into a screaming match. I'm done. I'm tired of fighting. I will give you what you had repeatedly suggested I wanted, a divorce. First words out of mouth. You gonna run off and marry one of your trans-friends? Then she started tearing into me about me therapist. Saying he's worthless, is not helping me, all I ever do is lie to her. I don't lie, can't lie. I have omitted things but lie? No, I can't even keep a straight face while playing a joke on someone. She refuses to understand my therapist is helping, I'm still alive. My last suicide attempt has since been minimized and means nothing more to her than a paper cut would.

 

At this point she wants me to cut all ties with everyone in my family. Never talk about "us" with anyone. I'm not allowed to have any friends come to our house especially if they're trans.

 

During all of the emotional stuff there's the physical aspect of it. Our house needs work. I am not longer physically capable of doing a lot of the work. Partially due to loss of muscle mass but mostly because I have to a 2 level fusion in my neck and a knee that is on the verge of needing a full replacement. I didn't have these obstacle 10 years ago. Currently I'm doing 90% of the chores she was doing in addition to everything I was already responsible for. With my increased responsibilities I don't have time for new projects.

 

Since I have been a lot more comfortable with using my pronouns and referring to myself as a woman around her somehow that equates to me shoving my "trans-ness" in her face all the time. Obviously I can be a little juvenile in expression but I'm living and exploring a life I never had and I can be an adult when I need to. She outright refuses to talk about me going forward with transition. Usually stating we can't afford any part of it. The thing is my insurance will cover everything 100% since we already met our $900 (you read that right $900) out-of-pock for the year. My employer/owner stated they will do everything they can to help and support me if/when I go forward. Granted, their good intentions may come from a pervy/fetish place but whatever, it's better than hate.

 

I feel at this point there's nothing I can do to save my marriage. She will never be happy no matter what I do and I will never be happy if I can't move forward. I don't see a  reason why I should even try to hold things together anymore.

 

Anyways, that's part of what's going on.

 

 

That sounds absolutely awful on a number of levels.

 

I'm glad you're doing something for yourself though. Please keep us posted. We're always here if you need to vent.

 

Hugs!

[Ivy]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I don't see a  reason why I should even try to hold things together anymore.

I'm sorry this is being so hard for you.