Good morning All. Coffees on.

[BrandiBri]

Good morning all, It's been a long time (too long) since i last posted anything here.  a lot has happened over the last few months, I moved from a three bedroom house with a full basement (24+ years) to a one bedroom apartment. After getting my letters for the surgery I was told that it wouldn't be until January, however in June they called and said that they had an opening in August but didn't have a date. Of course I said lets do it, but when I talked to two of the doctors on the sixth of this month they moved it back to January. Then a couple weeks ago I got a call from the hospital to get a date in November. I am now scheduled for November 24th.  

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, BrandiBri said:

After getting my letters for the surgery I was told that it wouldn't be until January, however in June they called and said that they had an opening in August but didn't have a date. Of course I said lets do it, but when I talked to two of the doctors on the sixth of this month they moved it back to January. Then a couple weeks ago I got a call from the hospital to get a date in November. I am now scheduled for November 24th. 

That's awesome! Congrats.

[Ivy]

12 hours ago, Willow said:

 So I’m the last one left.

This is me as well.

[Bri2020]

So it's been an affirming start to my day. I was coming out of 7/11 next to my clinic and saw the chiro from upstairs walking across the parking lot so waited for her so I could say hi. When she got closer she said "OMG that's you!  I was wondering who that hot chick was just standing there". She's always so complimentary so I just thought she was making nice but she said, "no really, I had no idea it was you until I got close".   Then, I'm sitting with the dog (who's looking cute) and my receptionist snapped a pic to show me how cute she was being and I didn't recognize who was sitting there for a second. Then I realized- wow, that's me now and boy have I changed."  I can truly see the woman in me showing now!

[Ivy]

It is a good shot

[Billie75B]

@Bri2020 That is a great picture you look awesome 

[Heather Nicole]

@Bri2020 How wonderful!

[Elizabeth Star]

@Bri2020wow, you look amazing. 

[KymmieL]

Congrats on your date, Brandi. 

 

@Bri2020 looking good girlfriend.  

 

I too have had an affirming couple of days. Yesterday  I got Ma'am then twice today. On customer said she loved my hair. And the other called me girlfriend.  Makes this girl happy. 

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie 

[Maddee]

Congrats on your Nov date @BrandiBri girl

[Bri2020]

8 hours ago, BrandiBri said:

Good morning all, It's been a long time (too long) since i last posted anything here.  a lot has happened over the last few months, I moved from a three bedroom house with a full basement (24+ years) to a one bedroom apartment. After getting my letters for the surgery I was told that it wouldn't be until January, however in June they called and said that they had an opening in August but didn't have a date. Of course I said lets do it, but when I talked to two of the doctors on the sixth of this month they moved it back to January. Then a couple weeks ago I got a call from the hospital to get a date in November. I am now scheduled for November 24th.  

Gotta stay flexible they say. lol. You must be so excited!!

 

[Jackie C.]

8 hours ago, BrandiBri said:

Then a couple weeks ago I got a call from the hospital to get a date in November. I am now scheduled for November 24th.

 

Well then, happy Thanksgiving!

 

5 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I can truly see the woman in me showing now!

 

I LOVE those moments @Bri2020! Congratulations!

 

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

I too have had an affirming couple of days. Yesterday  I got Ma'am then twice today. On customer said she loved my hair. And the other called me girlfriend.  Makes this girl happy. 

 

I love that too! I hope I NEVER get used to the happy feeling I get from just being one of the girls!

 

I actually reconnected with a family member last night. My uncle contacted me on Facebook. After I told him that his sister disowned me, he invited me to his wedding Anniversary. The big 50. Tragically, I can't go because I'm going to be recovering from surgery, but it was still a nice gesture. It's nice to know that there's only one member of my family who has a problem with be being trans.

 

Hugs!

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

And the other called me girlfriend.  Makes this girl happy. 

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie 

That's the big one for me. I love when that happens!  Congrats on a wonderful day

 

[Elizabeth Star]

I've been busy this week trying to get my name (and gender where needed) updated everywhere. So far I have 14 out of  23 done. I'm sure there's a few I forgot about. Thankfully I was able to do some of my credit cards over the phone without sending out any paperwork. My mortgage is definitely one I'm not looking forward to.

 

Fun fact. I wore a skirt to work today and didn't take it off right when I got home like I used to do. So, for 4 hours my wife got to see me "parading" around the house and even out talking to our neighbor in a black and white, tie-dye above the knee skirt. She didn't say anything about it. Not even a sideways look.

[Jamie68]

On 8/4/2021 at 10:06 AM, Bri2020 said:

So it's been an affirming start to my day. I was coming out of 7/11 next to my clinic and saw the chiro from upstairs walking across the parking lot so waited for her so I could say hi. When she got closer she said "OMG that's you!  I was wondering who that hot chick was just standing there". She's always so complimentary so I just thought she was making nice but she said, "no really, I had no idea it was you until I got close".   Then, I'm sitting with the dog (who's looking cute) and my receptionist snapped a pic to show me how cute she was being and I didn't recognize who was sitting there for a second. Then I realized- wow, that's me now and boy have I changed."  I can truly see the woman in me showing now!

That's awesome!

[April-Showers]

17 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

My mortgage is definitely one I'm not looking forward to.

at least you are in a state that makes things easy for name changes, birth certificate, etc. but with the mortgage you may need to get a lawyer. you can't change anything on a mortgage unless you also change the deed. and that complicates things. you may not need to worry about the mortgage/deed because if you ever sell the house you will have your legal name change documents to use at that time. thank you.  

[Bri2020]

18 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

 She didn't say anything about it. Not even a sideways look.

Victory!!

[Willow]

hi,

 

Well all letters received, approved for surgery and have it scheduled for the end of September.  Not getting as much done as most of you but that’s ok with me.

[Jamie68]

8 hours ago, Willow said:

hi,

 

Well all letters received, approved for surgery and have it scheduled for the end of September.  Not getting as much done as most of you but that’s ok with me.

Congrats!

[Maddee]

Happy for you @Willow
 

I like change and moving forward too

[LaurenA]

Went out last night to a local historic gay bar "This Is It" for the first time in about 40 years.  I had a GREAT time.  Met a very cute boy who gave me his number.  Just wanted to share my good feelings here.

[Ivy]

3 hours ago, LaurenA said:

Met a very cute boy who gave me his number.

Cool

[Bri2020]

Well the last 24 hours has been hell.  Kaiser let me know they weren't going to authorize both my surgeries at once and I have to wait until after my FFS to get authorization for bottom surg.  I blew up. They said they would just 2 weeks ago but now the gatekeeper reversed the decision.  After an hour crying I said fck it and called member service to make a claim of discrimination and denial of appropriate care. The rep ws totally on my side when she heard what they wanted me to go through so hopefully that makes a difference.  In the mean time my second letter referral visit got moved up to Tuesday from late September so thay won't be able to use that as an excuse.  

Skip to the evening and my wife and I had agreed to work out some ground rules to change our relationship to allow for Ethical Non Monogamous status.  Previously she said she just wanted a male friend with benefits and after our failed attempts at rekindling intimacy (both sides unsatisfied with results) I agreed to try.  Once I saw her ground rules it was clear she wanted to build a whole other relationship with someone including going to parties, extended date and seeing that person multiple times a week if it worked out.  All while keeping this from friends and family.  It felt like someone who wanted two families/lives.  I stayed awake all night processing it and came to the conclusion that what she really wants is another relationship with a great man but is to afraid to say the D word.  So this morning after a really good cry I opened up that conversation.  Basically told her "you're staying in this "marriage" out of obligation to me but you know this isn't a marriage anymore right?" "You can't have a double life and be truly married".  

So I handed her back my wedding ring and told her while we may want to grow old together and live together, you want to "Be" with someone else. I completely changed the rules and our situation and you have been an amazing support person who loves me to the core, but I can't ask you to stay when I can't be the person you need". So here we are, both knowing the marriage is done and wondering how do we pick up the pieces and salvage the friendship?  We did agree that we are tabling any legally binding changes in our status and will support the household and each other through my medical transition.  Neither of us can split apart and not struggle right now both financially and emotionally.

Now- I'm off to have my tattoos lasered off....the day just keeps getting better and better.

[Heather Shay]

@Bri2020 WOW - sorry for the extra stress - but all in all you seem to be handling it with honesty and integrity and all 3 situations will work their way through - especially the tat's. The others will take time but you are a strong woman and you'll make it through just fine.

Hugs,

Heather

[Ivy]

4 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

So I handed her back my wedding ring and told her while we may want to grow old together and live together, you want to "Be" with someone else. I completely changed the rules and our situation and you have been an amazing support person who loves me to the core, but I can't ask you to stay when I can't be the person you need".

I'm sorry for you both.  I know how painful this must be.