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KymmieL

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@Beatriz Hope you're right, acceptance is heartwarming. 

 

@Linda Marie I've been working away on my brows, but if she wanted to surprise me with a pro doing it that'd be amazing, thanks for the other tips.

 

@Bri2020 My complaints about calluses were totally outside the trans realm to me, so to end up with painted nails and day out adventure was sweet.  And I should say that my avatar is FaceApp enhancement, so my brows in real life are kinda that color but those aren't them. When I play with FaceApp now I just erase everything but the brows!

 

She and I today both came up with the idea of finally getting my hair done again, (we both checked the hours of the salon I went to last independently of each other).  I really need to keep as much length as I can but it is kinda looking like a mullet overall. But I'd also like to see if I could lose a gray streak while non-gray hair is still plausible and of course have my eyebrows tamed if not shaped yet, not sure she was thinking of all that. Every baby step is a joy for me but not sure it's all that special for her. 

 

 

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Hi RhondaS, thanks for the mention.

 As far as us, we live in a world only we know. With every step we take towards our transition is a mile stone for us.

I think most out there do not understand the fact that many of us are also mentally tormented with guilt. This life is not easy.

So what happens now? 

I find myself grabbing a cig. and a BIG cup of tea? or is it a margarita in that cup? LOL.

Anyway I wish you good on your travels.

LM♥️

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HI everyone

 

hot humid and stormy weather here today.  No 37º that's for sure.  Highs in the mid and upper 80s all week.  That's great that your youngest is using the correct pronouns @KymmieL As for your wife becoming more religious, she could be trying to understand and give her troubles to God to deal with.  Not all Christians are anti LGBT or anti Trans.  I find it surprising to learn which are and which are not.  

 

I have to begin the preparations to install the engine in my boat.  I have a long list of things to prepare before I can begin to slide the engine into the engine compartment.  Even then it will likely take several ins and outs to get the height and angle right.  But once everything is aligned, I just have to bolt it down on the rails.  final small adjustments to the height and angle can be done with the adjustable mounts.  

 

Willow

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15 hours ago, RhondaS said:

'how do I get my eyebrows thinner'

@RhondaS When you pluck the hairs do it from the bottom to shape the arch.  On the top side you will only need to remove a couple to even things out.  Using a sharp scissors for lashes is best when it comes to trimming them.  Plucking does hurt but as you keep up on it and get them when the hairs are smaller its not bad.  There are plenty of YT videos on how to get the shape you want or ask your stylist.

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Well I'm way past the coffee. Yes I look angry. I took a 3 year trip to man land pretending to be the happy man.

I found out I was just as miserable being someone I'm not. I also found out I can't be that person others want me to be.

I miss my hair, I really do. I miss me, I miss the days I was happy. I miss the friends I had made friends with. I miss being happy.

So here I am again, round 2 so to speak. 

 

I will be back in Ashville to attend the meetings again, gosh I miss them. I hope they welcome me back.

I really don't know how to express this but I will try. 

 

You are at the table with family, all they see is you, be it man mode or women mode, they just don't really see you anymore.

At the meetings I was with my peers, people I could talk to, and relate to. I have this feeling I need to go back, not just for me, but for those and me, we just need companionship, comfort, the feeling of belonging, someone to talk to and someone who understands, someone who knows because they are there also. 

 

So here I am, jotting down numbers, making calls, and going back into the arena. I think my 3 year absence taught me a lot  about who and what I really am. 

I am me,

LM♥️

 

 

 

 

 

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10 hours ago, Willow said:

Not all Christians are anti LGBT or anti Trans.  I find it surprising to learn which are and which are not.  


I have to begin the preparations to install the engine in my boat.  

 

@WillowI've taken a short sabbatical (2 months?) from church since being ejected from the "disciple group", was never really intending on going out & 'proselytize to the world'. Am I saved? Of course do I "believe"? Not so sure, to what do you refer? Us "Catholics" were taught it's more 'bout how one behaves than simply what one "professes".

 

More important stuff -> what kind of engine? Are you replacing the block?  When pulling did you separate from bell-housing or out-drive instead? Have a 1984 19' Mercedes bowrider (Califorinia made not 'a car') with a 229ci/3.8L OMC CobraJet I/O am looking for a "rebuilt longblock", which is hard to find!

 

Glass is "good", have motor half torn down, and am replacing some wooden floorboards as I go . . . 

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@Linda Marie
You display art and care in yourself and surroundings.  You are lovely.

 

Not sure I understand the table you speak of.

Curious why the trip back to man land.  Women? 

 

I'm worried about having feelings for women. That kept me in man land before, and don't want to be fooled again.

 

Birds just started singing here.

Good morning

 

 

 

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@Linda Marie I'm glad you will be getting back to local meetings with others in the community.  When I was in the throws of transition these were so important to me.  I made many friends and was able to speak openly to those who understood.  

 

@Maddee I think Linda is referring to "table" in the sense she will be gathered with other like minded souls.  

6 hours ago, Maddee said:

I'm worried about having feelings for women. That kept me in man land before, and don't want to be fooled again.

Don't worry about your attractions to others.  From what I have experienced and read not all of us change our sexual attraction but some do.  I am not attracted to men at all.  I am happily married though and could never see myself with a guy.  Others are just the opposite and that's good for them.  Do what makes you happy and let the other side issues fall as they may.  

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Hi

 

didnt sleep well last night and now I’m paying the price.

 

@Kiera the Catholic Church would be one that I am least familiar with.  However, there is someone here who is and I expect she will respond.  As for me, 8 am lifelong Presbyterian.  Our denomination adopted a pro LGBT stance in the 1980s.  Some that have surprised me for their positions are United Methodist against LGBT to the point that some Methodist churches are reorganizing to show support.  Episcopalian, supporting, a group already broke of against us reforming the Anglican Church.  The MCC Church is very welcoming as is the Universal Unitarian.  Even some Baptist churches are accepting.  
 

As far as my engine swap, I have a 32 foot sailboat.  The old engine was a Volvo Penta M2002, 2 cylinder 18 hp.  The replacement is a Beta Marine 14.  It weighs about 100 pounds less. In a sailboat the prop shaft is directly bolted to the transmission output. In both cases I had to grind off the bolts that were badly rusted.  
 

Willow
 

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Hi peeps, So why did I go back to man land? Well I had things to take care of that only being Dave could  and I really just needed to find myself with out outside influences. It had nothing to do with family or women or anything except me.

The table reference was about me also, you know, people just don't see me as the person they knew before. 

( I was having a poor pitty me pout when I posted that).

 

Anyway on a better note welcome to my basement shop. I spend a lot of time down here.

 

 

 

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@Kiera I hope that you are able to find a caring and welcoming church home.  They are out there.  I live in ultra conservative South Carolina.  I attend church.  Before I came out full time I helped teach an Adult Sunday School Class.  I am willing to do so again but Covid has prevented us from meeting. Our church has outdoor services as well as indoor now but not very many members are willing to attend Sunday school.

 

Even though the hp of the Beta Marine is less, it came out of a sailboat that weighed just as much as mine though it was shorter.  I bought the damaged boat to salvage things of value and spent a week stripping it. 
 

Willow

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@WillowI didn't know sail boats had motors. Shows how dumb about boats I am.

I do like the pontoon boats and my wife loves pontoon boats also, we will be renting one

and pontooning around lake Fontana this summer.

We love to fish but haven't been in a long time. We will cut the barbs off the hooks, catch and release without

hurting the fish.

LM♥️

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Hey everyone. I don’t want to say at this point. There’s so much going in my life. I’ve done a lot of thinking and realized I have to make some hard decisions about my marriage. I don’t know how things will look or when (sooner rather than later) they will happen but things need to change. I tried to wait for things to self-resolve but they’re getting worse. My attendance here is going to spotty at best for while.  I will try to at least stop in and say hi when I can. 

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I tried to wait for things to self-resolve but they’re getting worse.

Liz, you know you are in our hearts as you work through this most difficult part of your life and relationship.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Hey everyone. I don’t want to say at this point. There’s so much going in my life. I’ve done a lot of thinking and realized I have to make some hard decisions about my marriage. I don’t know how things will look or when (sooner rather than later) they will happen but things need to change. I tried to wait for things to self-resolve but they’re getting worse. My attendance here is going to spotty at best for while.  I will try to at least stop in and say hi when I can. 

I hope all works out for you and your wife. 

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Hi

 

@Elizabeth Star marital problems are unfortunately too common for us.  Only a very small percentage are accepting up front others eventually accept.  Sorry your having issues.

 

@Linda Marie it depends on the type of sailboat.  Your small boats for small lakes don’t have engines.  Medium size say more than 16 feet made for large lakes or even off shore typicality have an outboard engine to get in and out of marinas or to move when there is no wind.  Lager boats like mine are clearly offshore boats.  Made so they could cross the ocean.  Although I wouldn’t do that in 2010 the owner of my boat refitted it to sail to Europe.  He didn’t end up going and instead sold it for less than the refit cost.  The boat has been to the Bahamas numerous times .  Boats like this always have a diesel inboard.  Sailboats up to say 25’ may have outboard or inboards beyond that inboard diesels from 10 to 100hp.

 

Willow

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Liz,  This sounds all to familiar to my situation. I wish you the best and will be supporting you in my thoughts.

 

 

Hugs

Stefi

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@Elizabeth StarThat's sad. Selfishly I enjoy reading your posts and will miss them if there are fewer coming our way...hope things work as best as they can. 

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Went for first electrolysis session today (ouch). Chatting about being trans with someone who's come across a number of trans people before is a nice change of pace. 

 

Then got a hair trim/style at a place others in the family use, so didn't volunteer what's going on with me, just pleaded for as little loss of length as possible. Trying to de-mullet the thing. 

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10 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I tried to wait for things to self-resolve but they’re getting worse. My attendance here is going to spotty at best for while.  I will try to at least stop in and say hi when I can. 

Liz, I’m so sorry you are having these difficulties right now. I truly enjoy the excitement in your posts...especially your posts in the “What are you wearing?” thread! You are certainly coming into your own and really blossoming. I hope these marital setbacks don’t affect that or your positivity. Stay hopeful and visit whenever you can.?

 

*Hugs*

Susan R?

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15 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Hey everyone. I don’t want to say at this point. There’s so much going in my life. I’ve done a lot of thinking and realized I have to make some hard decisions about my marriage. I don’t know how things will look or when (sooner rather than later) they will happen but things need to change. I tried to wait for things to self-resolve but they’re getting worse. My attendance here is going to spotty at best for while.  I will try to at least stop in and say hi when I can. 

Liz, I'm sorry that you are having bad times. I really hope it gets better for you. You feel like family tome. (The good kind). When you hurt, I hurt. 

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Hi Liz,

 

I want to send my well-wishes along to you.  I hope you can get things resolved with your marriage.  Just know you are in my thoughts.

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@Elizabeth Star If you don't want to post but need to talk just PM me. I'm sorry it's getting to this point for you, I thought maybe things would get better but only you know for sure how your relationship is. 

Big Hugs

Bri

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  • Posts

    • Willow
      @KymmieL do they have you on anti depressants?  Are they certain they are the right ones for you?  Has a psychiatrist been involved?  My physician first put me on an anti depressant and when things got worse for me he added one that was the initial cause of my cancer.  My therapist recommended I had a different need changed things. My psychiatrist agreed with the particular underlying condition and the choice of medications.   everyone is different but if one medication isn’t working there are many different types and different underlying conditions that require different treatments.  No meds mentioned because what didn’t work and what did all depends on your case, not mine.   Willow
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      When I am sitting out on my patio in a nice pretty dress, full makeup, with a glass of wine watching a storm roll in!       💗 Cynthia 
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      I had a five hour road trip today.  I’m trying to grow my hair out so I just pushed it back with a pink hair band, lipstick and gloss, no makeup.    White spaghetti strap top, short black skirt, white sandals with pink toenails!  A couple of rings and bracelets, necklace and hoop earrings.   I felt like a hot mess but it’s my favorite way to travel!  
    • KymmieL
      Glad you had a good day, @Willow Mine on the other hand sucked. I have been screwing up again, I even got written up. I may have to educate them on major depression and disability. not that it will work.    OH, well. May be another job I lost because of me. Yes, my depression is about down at the magma level   Kym
    • Lydia_R
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