Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Alice_Sybilina]

@Elizabeth Star absolutely. I wore that top I got after seeing you out with my wife, first time in any women's clothing outside. I posted a pic up in the 'what are you wearing' thread. 

[Elizabeth Star]

3 hours ago, Alice_Sybilina said:

@Elizabeth Star absolutely. I wore that top I got after seeing you out with my wife, first time in any women's clothing outside. I posted a pic up in the 'what are you wearing' thread. 

Doesn’t it feel so liberating? 

[Maddee]

Sounds like a lot of meetup visiting happening!

 

Good "morning".

Attitude is my focus tonight. 

So many things making me mad, and trying to stay on top of it all.

 

Shielding my body, spirit and goals.

 

Be well!

 

[Jamie68]

Good morning everyone. In 2 days I have my first appointment with my SRS surgeon. I don't know what to expect. Can anyone tell me?

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Good morning everyone. In 2 days I have my first appointment with my SRS surgeon. I don't know what to expect. Can anyone tell me?

GRS Surgeon

[Heather Shay]

@Jamie68 call it what you will (I like GCS gender conformation surgery) but whichever you like it means the same thing and that is fantastic news. I have met all the WPATH requirements and hope to have my first consult soon once I overcome some family issues.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Hugs

Heather

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Shay said:

@Jamie68 call it what you will (I like GCS gender conformation surgery) but whichever you like it means the same thing and that is fantastic news. I have met all the WPATH requirements and hope to have my first consult soon once I overcome some family issues.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Hugs

Heather

Thanks. Get registered asap. There's a 1-1/2 to 2 year wait after you do.

[KathyLauren]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Good morning everyone. In 2 days I have my first appointment with my SRS surgeon. I don't know what to expect. Can anyone tell me?

 

I think my surgeon was expecting me to ask questions.  I was expecting him to ask me questions or to give me information.  I had no idea what questions to ask, so it was a short conversation.

 

If there is anything you want to know about the surgery, make a list.

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

 

I think my surgeon was expecting me to ask questions.  I was expecting him to ask me questions or to give me information.  I had no idea what questions to ask, so it was a short conversation.

 

If there is anything you want to know about the surgery, make a list.

Good idea. Thanks

[Charlize]

Please remember that topics like surgery are best posted in the forum devoted to that topic.

 

I'm happily eating oatmeal with what will be the seasons last fresh blueberries and our own maple syrup.  Mmmmm along with a cuppa this gal is smiling!  

Later i'll be splitting wood to get ready for winter.  Ugh 

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Elizabeth Star]

Went out to dinner last night with my in-laws. Due to the high heat and humidity (hard to breathe) my partner opted to stay home. I had to make a stop on the way there and somehow ended up 30 minutes early. I waited for about 15 minutes and decided to go in and get a drink while I waited for them to show. I was apprehensive about going in since it was a new place and I had no idea what the patrons would be like. Well, new but not new. This is a second location, my partner and I actually met at their first restaurant a long, long ago, before they even thought of opening a second.

 

It was noisy so I sat next to my mil so we could chat. A Sports bar/restaurant is not the best place for a quiet family dinner. We spent an hour or so getting caught up and of course she wanted to talk about me. She's been very supportive but it was just weird hearing her say how her daughter and I are now lesbians. Also that using partner to describe our relationship is more fitting. It's stuff I already knew but to hear her say it without any inflection really put me at ease.

 

My partner had told me my in-laws have fully accepted me not only as one of the family but also as their 2nd daughter. I just had to experience it for myself to believe it.

 

Meanwhile, my family cannot except me. I'm still close with my brother and a couple cousins but that's it. Mother, sister, father uncles and most cousins...all of them are now officially gone from my life. I kind of feel like I'm just free-floating without a family to keep me grounded but they made their choice. But what is family? If it's people that share common interests and are supportive of each other than I have that, not traditional but I have that. From my in-laws to the people here at TP and even facebook. I now have a family that stretches across the globe. It's just taking a little time to get used to.

 

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

My partner had told me my in-laws have fully accepted me not only as one of the family but also as their 2nd daughter. I just had to experience it for myself to believe it.

It's a pity your family doesn't accept you.  But having such support from your in-laws has to help.  

[Beatriz]

@Elizabeth Star Traditional family is a concept that dates back to times where, in general, each human met few people, did not travel a lot and had very limited communication means. That's completely obsolete now. Our family now does not include some relatives (this happened before; family feuds are as old as humanity), but it does include people very close to our spirit and heart. The fact that they're not genetic relatives does not make them any less family. So congrats for the family you have, and for the gret relationship with your in-laws in particular!

[KymmieL]

Since I have yet to come out to my mom and sister, and the rest of the world, ei facebook. I am not sure, at the moment how my family is. But I know I have family here on TP.

 

Nothing really going on right now. Today off. with no appointments, yeah. Then again on Thursday. I have a dermatologist appointment then a shopping assisted appointment a Sephora. So I can finally get the right makeup for me. Maybe a salon appointment before it all.

 

Hugs

Kymmie

[Ivy]

Been working on getting my shop stuff moved from out at my ex's place to my house.   I need to run a heavier circuit out there.   Went over to Lowes for some wire etc. and got major sticker shock!  Plus, they were pretty much picked clean.  Sheesh.

[Kara Zor-El]

On 7/25/2021 at 7:43 AM, Elizabeth Star said:

Over the last few days I've noticed my wife has referring to me as her partner. She had made it clear I will always be her husband but that appears to have recently changed. First she did it on a Facebook post, then when making an appt with a new dentist and yet again while on the phone with her cousin. I know she was trying to use "significant other" for a bit but honestly that's a lot of syllables and way too much to write. I've always felt that "husband and wife" was too gendered and implied certain roles in a marriage. To me, partner is stronger and deeper then "married" It also has that air about it that implies a same-sex couple.

THISSSS    I once used the word spouse, and she reacted like I had just tossed my ring into the ocean and set our marriage license on fire..........   Mine also has said more than a few times she "will never call me anything ofther than husband"

[Willow]

@Jandi the price of construction materials has gone through the roof.   No pun intended.  And try to buy a refrigerator, you’d think they were made of gold.  Probably worth more than gold right now.

 

@Lexa83 I don’t know what my wife chooses to refer to me as these days.  Certainly not any relationship term that would lead to any thought of us being lesbians.

 

Willow

[Elizabeth Star]

I think I'm done for the day. Cut the grass, cut down and roughly chopped up two trees, took a shower, went to the store for a few things. I actually asked th cashier up-front for help with the 6, 40lb bags of salt. They called a guy, he did everything from pulling them off the shelf to loading it in my jeep for me (girl power!). Now if I could get help moving the salt down to the basement.  Went back out to get coffee and a few other things I forgot, put up a new light fixture by the back door, replaced the flood lights and the electrical box on pole in the back yard, cooked dinner, shook my hands at the sky because I still forgot to get butter, I think I did laundry at one point, did the dishes and I still fell the need to wander the back yard to see what else I can get done. This is pretty typical of what happens when I have a day off. I know, I'll go work on some latch-hook.

[Heather Nicole]

@Elizabeth Star I wouldn't mind a little bit of that workaholism! I took three days off last week (I'd accumulated close to the limit on available time off), figured it would help me to both get some things done and relax a little bit. About all I really accomplished was to catch cabin fever, and freak out at one point over feeling lonely! Better now though. I'm chalking that up as, "Yup, well that backfired!" lol ? Life happens, whatcha gonna do?

[Maddee]

20 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Good morning everyone. In 2 days I have my first appointment with my SRS surgeon. I don't know what to expect. Can anyone tell me?

I've had a few consults for surgeries now.  Mostly they talk and I listen and try to absorb every word they're saying. 

 

For my very first consult, I had a list of questions, prepared with my therapist, and from suggestions from forums.  Asking them angered the surgeon and I was turned down for treatment at that particular hospital clinic. 

 

After consults (assuming its going forward) they give you a folder with pre op and post op info.  Ads for what they're selling.

 

I like SRS acronym

[MirandaB]

Well, I've been up since 2 AM..wife, son and I had a sometimes heated discussion of the elephant in the house last night. 

 

Wife basically has said she doesn't know if she'll ever be able to get over her mourning of the loss of all her hopes and dreams (no pressure!) 

 

A lot of circular debates-why don't you talk to me more? Cause everything I do makes you sad so why would I want to make you sadder? Why don't you reach out more? Cause all i get is a cold shoulder? That king of thing. 

 

Oh, and my sister in law has been going around 'accidentally' outing me to people. 

 

Have my endo appointment later...which is usually a happy thing for me. 

[Davie]

@RhondaS Sorry to hear it. Tough conversations. Good for you for showing up to go through all that.

I'm up late, too. Bleary and headached, but worried because my closest family member, my sister, and I have an appointment for me to come out to her. That I haven't yet done that is a measure of how much it means to me. But it also makes me shut down with her, and that's no good either. So here goes! Don't anticipate a real problem with her directly but others in the family including her husbands are big questions. And they all tend to gossip any news or interest. Am I interesting with this? Who knows. Someone here said just be open and honest and non-judgemental and hope that turns back for me. But if I can't commit to be honest with them, I can't be honest with myself. It's a process . . . with bumps in the road. Hope the bumps make me stronger . . . they make me feel adolescent (and not in a good way.) For me, there's no way back . . . so onward.

cheers,

Davie

[Alice_Sybilina]

@Elizabeth Starand @Lexa83, I've never been as close to my assigned family as I have my chosen one. I'll promise you one thing, the one thing I don't fail at, I'm a good big brother/sister and I can be there for you if you need one. And titles are just titles. I'll always be dad and I love that. My youngest daughter has been getting groomed to be the family 'shaman', and even though she is cisgendered, I told her the title is King and she loves that. I teach all my kids to control their emotions and understand that they aren't their thoughts, and to be happy, but she just has that natural amazingness that you have to have to lead a whole extended family.

 

@Davie@Davie, there is no path forward which doesn't strengthen you. And by the very nature of what you are, you're already stronger than most. Fire forges steel and pressure creates diamonds. 

[Jamie68]

7 hours ago, Maddee said:

I've had a few consults for surgeries now.  Mostly they talk and I listen and try to absorb every word they're saying. 

 

For my very first consult, I had a list of questions, prepared with my therapist, and from suggestions from forums.  Asking them angered the surgeon and I was turned down for treatment at that particular hospital clinic. 

 

After consults (assuming its going forward) they give you a folder with pre op and post op info.  Ads for what they're selling.

 

I like SRS acronym

That's helpful. Thanks for the info.

[Confused1]

On 7/26/2021 at 4:44 AM, Jamie68 said:

Good morning everyone. In 2 days I have my first appointment with my SRS surgeon. I don't know what to expect. Can anyone tell me?

 

Hi Jamie,

 

My experience with my surgeon was the opposite of what Maddee experienced. I had a pretty large list and my surgeon seemed impressed with what I knew and what I was asking. I would take a list and see how they react. If they don't want to be helpful on the first consult, I would question whether I wanted to use them.

 

Hugs,

Mike