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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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Good morning everyone, I hope you have a wonderful day and overcome all that you face today. I dreamt about coffee last night, and this morning I’m following my dreams. 
 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

E5B89820-86A4-4A24-9D63-F116D10E155E.jpeg

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Good morning 

 

I drank Pluff Mud last night, not even a full glass and boy do I have a headache this morning.  Oh Pluff Mud is a local dark beer, not brewed from the mud at the bottom of the swamp although I’m questioning that choice.

 

Got back on injections for estradiol.  Stronger dosage.  Also got different syringes and needles. I like these better.  I had a blood draw Wednesday that came up draw twice.  Back yesterday the stick wasn’t dry but it didn’t yield much.  And that was after drinking 60 oz of water.

 

Today I am going to see my original therapist.  First time in a few years.  Got some catching up to do.  Speaking of which, I need to get going on my make up.

 

Willow

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How did I find such wonderful and thoughtful friends that I have never met face to face?

 

My Saturday, feeling better. Actually was able to sleep straight through the night. Not sure if my wife and youngest are going to Lincoln this weekend or not. Guess I will find out shortly.

 

Have a little of the white stuff on the lawn. Season forecast is for us to get hammered but heard that before and never panned out. Time will tell.

 

Hugs all.

 

Kymmie

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Have a little of the white stuff on the lawn. Season forecast is for us to get hammered but heard that before and never panned out. Time will tell.

 

Yeah, we're getting towards white stuff time of year again. *shudder*. Also, *shiver*.

 

I've been getting really frustrated with my insurance. Normally they're pretty good, but ever since the doc upped my E to a couple of patches, we've been facing nothing but trouble from the bean counter bunch. They don't seem to like the doctor's decision on my dosage, so every time I need a refill they give nothing but pushback and flaming hoops to jump through. I think I might end up having to pay out of pocket this time. I hope that doesn't come to be a regular expense. ☹️

 

On a nicer note, I made a batch of curry last night and it turned out fantastic. Mostly veggies, but a little bit of chicken, too. Convenient sauce from a jar. Some rice on the side. Really looking forward to the leftovers later today. 😋

 

 

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4 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

so every time I need a refill they give nothing but pushback and flaming hoops to jump through. I think I might end up having to pay out of pocket this time.

 

Hopefully, you are (or can request) several months per refill, rather than just one month.  For me, it turned out three months of patches per refill cost the same ($50) as I was paying previously for each month's refill!  Not insignificant.

 

Best wishes,

 

Astrid

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Just now, Katie23 said:

Your insurer needs to be reported. They do not get to adjust the dosages. That is dependent on the provide and not an insurance clerk. I would file a complaint. Also, talk to the pharmacy. They may have some suggestions on how to deal with this situation.

 

Sincerely
Katie

 

They're playing paperwork games.

 

Last time I tried to get a refill, they complained they needed a prior authorization first. Then when they got the prior authorization, they complained they needed another document from the doctor explaining why I needed a dosage higher than...whatever their threshold amount was (it wasn't particularly high as far as transwomen go). By the time they got that too, and the pharmacy had it ready to hand to me I was already about 2 days past due.

 

This time, again, it's just another refill, and they're back to complaining again that they need another prior authorization.

 

Loopholes via red tape. 🙄

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Hi,

 

Saw my original therapist today.  We picked up like old friends.  I gave him a recap of everything that has gone on since then.  He asked questions for clarification.  We agreed to meet again in 6 weeks.  
 

willow

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Speaking of insurance, my wife's pension plan is switching health insurance providers next year.  (We have public health insurance in Canada, so the plan covers additional stuff that is outside of normal health care system, like prescriptions, physiotherapy, etc.) 

 

There were some interesting new items in the package that could affect trans people positively, such as "gender affirmation" (no specifics available) covered for $75,000 per lifetime.  Doctor's letters are no longer required for psychologists, physiotherapists, and electrologists (if undergoing gender affirmation).

 

There are numerous other changes, too, some positive and some negative.  Many of the changes are too late to help me much.  But that $75,000 will come in handy if someone wants a BA, for example, which is not covered by public health care.

 

It is nice to know that they support trans people.

 

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1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

 

 

This time, again, it's just another refill, and they're back to complaining again that they need another prior authorization.

 

Loopholes via red tape. 🙄

This is why I love Kaiser Permanente. Everything is under one roof. I see my doc, they write a script and it's ready downstairs at the pharmacy on my way out the door. Refills mailed to my house in 2 days if I do a refill request online.  

Speaking of KP: I'm not happy with the very visible forehead scar from ffs after 10 months so I emailed my case manager asking if they would cover a revision. The surgeon has been non committal on it needing to be done (he doesn't want to admit it isn't a good result) and KP over here in the mid atlantic contracts out for transgender related surgeries so it is the one thing I do have to get authorizations. Anyways, I emailed her a current pic and by the end of the day she got back to me saying they actually hired an in house plastics person who specialises in FFS and scar revisions and they set me up with an appointment for the end of the year for a consult! I haven't been too happy with the surgeon they contracted with so far.  During the FFS he forgot to do my lip lift and tried to deflect saying it hadn't been authorized even though the day of the surgery we went over what was being done and I signed off on it. I'm not convince he made any effort to reduce my receding hairline issue much nor an actual brow lift. I looked at my before photos the other day and I can't tell any difference. He did lower the hairline in general but the incision was in front of the hairline vs within it. Hence the very visible scar which is also because the incision sutures didn't hold well.  Now with my vaginoplasty, while it's only been a month but I don't think the outcome is going to be great. I can see some strictures and scaring deformity already. I have my follow up tomorrow and will bring it up and I am 100% positive he will say, "let's give it a year and see where things are." which has been his go to line with my FFS.  Kaiser is trying to create their own full service Transgender care team. I'm hoping they get a bottom surgeon at some point if not for me then for those coming behind me. Here's a pic from my recent hospital stay and you can really see how low and visible the scar is on my forehead. you can't ell about the temple area because I let my longer hair fall over it.

556E83AD-2DC0-4C7C-850C-D83B35707BC3_1_201_a.thumb.jpeg.90915db17f64ea1c37b154712d44efeb.jpeg

 

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Good morning everyone, I hope you have a wonderful day and overcome all that you face today. I dreamt about coffee last night, and this morning I’m following my dreams. 
 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Ever had a morning that your coffee, although made the same way you always make it, make your feel like it's the first time you ever tasted coffee? So delicious, I feel like I can take on anything the world throws at me today! Wishing you all the best for today.

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3 minutes ago, KnowMe said:

Ever had a morning that your coffee, although made the same way you always make it, make your feel like it's the first time you ever tasted coffee? So delicious, I feel like I can take on anything the world throws at me today! Wishing you all the best for today.

Your outlook is delicious!

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5 hours ago, Katie23 said:

Somebody really is playing games. I have never had one word about dosing of any medication that I have prescribed.

 

It's a first for me, too.

 

6 hours ago, Katie23 said:

You must be dealing with one of those prescription service companies that claim they want to save you money. I would complain to your state insurance commissioner, as well as contact Health and Human Services. They are blocking necessary services as determined by your provider.

 

That stuff if all new territory for me, but...I may do that.

 

The pharmacist did mention one other thing. Apparently my insurance company recently changed their prescription provider. It's possible that some (though clearly not all) of the problems may be hiccups related to that, like maybe my doctor was talking to the old prescription provider instead of the new one.

 

In any case, the pharmacist was luckily able to get a half-refill through the system and accepted, so I at least have one  fresh new box of patches and a couple more weeks to get things worked out, and I didn't even have to go out-of-pocket like I was about to. Score one for the pharmacist!

 

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Yes, Hannah it counts. And who can doubt the word of an innocent little girl? 😊❤️

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happy belated morning all. 

 

been apply for jobs and interviewing. phone interviews are good, but in person i can tell by the way people look at me they are not impressed. the right thing will come along, and people's looks and judgement seem to bother me so much less now that i have accepted myself, actually. 

 

ive been going to new places, meeting new people, coming out to people, and it feels good. im excited and happy for the future. 

 

i have an appointment to talk to someone about starting HRT mid December. i so wish it were sooner, but the appointment is set, so i have that to look forward to. 

 

i hope everyone is doing well and taking care. kind thoughts 

Sage

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2 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

I was taking the recycling out to the dumpster behind the apartment building, walking through a small parking area. A young girl, maybe three, was going after a ball her dad had rolled. Right after she passed by me chasing the ball, she told her dad,"You almost hit the lady!"

 

Does that count as passing?

awwwe. ♡

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4 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

I was taking the recycling out to the dumpster behind the apartment building, walking through a small parking area. A young girl, maybe three, was going after a ball her dad had rolled. Right after she passed by me chasing the ball, she told her dad,"You almost hit the lady!"

 

Does that count as passing?

 

Hannah, that counts as the best possible passing.  You can't fool a little kid.

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11 hours ago, Katie23 said:

Give them a choice fix it, or force them to fix it. Stand your ground. Some of the surgeons have a very dismissive attitude towards the patient. Sometimes others have to make them pay attention for you. If in fact, if procedures were not done and payments were accepted without doing the procedure, they will review not just your chart, but other charts. It is a nasty process. Talk to Kaiser. If they paid the fee...they will not be amused either. 

I did tell my case manager about the lip lift portion not being done and then having to be done in the office and told her to make sure it doesn't get double billed.  At the time I wasn't sure about the brow/hairline because things were still so swollen.

I'm pretty confident the new Kaiser surgeon will have an opinion and observations.  I have to tip toe for now. IF I feel I need a revision on my neo-vagina he is the only surgeon Kaiser contracts with currently. I don't want to "force or report him" for the FFS stuff until I know more about that. 

4 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

Does that count as passing?

Absolutely!!!

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My 1 month post op check went really well. The PA said it couldn't be healing better (I'm withholding judgement). There were a number of "dissolvable" stitches that weren't showing any signs they were going to dissolve so he removed them. That sucked. Due to traffic, it took almost two hours of driving to get there and I felt like my testcles had been in a vice which is funny because that's exactly how my brain was interpreting the bruising to my neo-labia. It's kinda like ghost pain. Your nerves from your old parts are now relocated/repurposed but the neuro pathways haven't been updated so they still perceive the sensations as if the old parts are still there. ANyways, once he removed about 10 troublesome stitches and I got back into the car (dreading it) I was completely comfortable. Those stitches were what was causing me the most discomfort it turned out!  

I've been cleared to start doing normal activities as long as I ease into it and not do anything strenuous for 2-3 weeks. There are still some stitches that are in the process of dissolving and he said I could tear stuff if I did any heavy lifting, running etc. 

I was so excited to have been cleared and given my freedom back but by the time I got back from the 5 hours of road tripping/appointment all I could do was crawl back into bed. lol

I did get home to my party planner's email showing me the invitation she came up with! How cool is this?  I can't wait.  She's actually going to try and trademark the event name for future marketing. lol

If you are in the mid atlantic area and want to throw a party celebrating the end of your medical transition, she is awesome!

 

3FB78D2D-0BA1-4B13-BAD7-E57A48267949_1_102_o.jpeg

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28 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

 

Hannah, that counts as the best possible passing.  You can't fool a little kid.

Amen! that was well said.

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20 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Good morning everyone, I hope you have a wonderful day and overcome all that you face today. I dreamt about coffee last night, and this morning I’m following my dreams. 

Nice.

 

I just awoke from a dream, nothing special, it was neither frightening nor instructive.  Just my "me" telling me to get up and pee.  In the dream I find myself mowing a property which I think is familiar on a zero turn mower.  There is another person mowing space adjacent to where I'm mowing.  Ahead of me, in my path are branches scattered on the ground.  I think to myself that they don't look too large, I'll just mow over them; however, this is not how I go about things.  I continue mowing and the small amount of branches morphs into a considerably larger area and they become thicker to the point where I'm forced to get off the mower and start clearing the ground.  I start clearing the ground and throwing the wood over a fence.  As I'm doing this I notice that there is a wood pile, stacked nicely, but not a finished stack as if it hadn't been completed or wood had been removed from it.  I decide that I can stack the wood here, because is's closer.

 

While standing on the fence or something which is a higher vantage point, I observe a large snake making its way in my direction.  It is red and black and white striped.  Not common for my area and definitely way larger than anything I'm used to seeing.  I'm not alarmed or frightened, but I don't take my eyes from it.  Then appear a cat and a dog.  The cat, me thinks, is afraid of the snake and wants assistance from the dog.  The cat is between the snake and dog and goes face to face with the dog, then bites its snout.  I think that that is not the way to elicit help and the cat and dog vanish.  The snake continues to approach me.

 

I climb up onto another wood pile and grab a piece of wood.  I start to hit the snake on its head to keep it back.  I think to myself that this isn't getting me anywhere and wake up.

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Vocabulary.com defines Nonchalance as "a casual lack of concern, a relaxed state without anxiety or enthusiasm."  I experienced this condition twice yesterday and believe it is a validation of achieving progress on my journey.  First I was over at my friend's place and I Do Not speak of transitioning with him or around him or to him.  I was painting for him and he walked past and said that it looked good.  Then he added something to the effect, "soon I'll be on the catwalk, but just don't let Jim see me".  I took the comment in stride, not really caring for it, but really not bothered by it either.  We're both retired now, but we had worked at the same place for many years and I had announced that I was going to transition to become a woman.  He would make reference to the catwalk as a place for women to parade themselves and it really wasn't a place for a man unless of course one was less of one.  It bothered me then.  Yesterday was different.  There was no bruised ego goading me that my pride had been injured and that something MUST be done about it.

 

Scene II:  I'm with a group of friends last evening.  A group that I feel increasingly comfortable being around.  But not quite comfortable enough yet to share my deepest desires.  Their friendship and acceptance mean very much to me.  We are sitting around the kitchen table and one of us, a man, has been drinking and is his usual vulgar self.  He's funny and he tests us our values and just where any of us would draw a line as being out of bounds with his free uninhibited self.  He leaves us to get a refill and we agree it is fun to have him around even though his mind lives in the gutter.

 

We talk about hanging out at his pool this past summer and he remembers how pleasant it was to see the girls in their "skivvies."  Then the others comment on my having worn a speedo style bikini and how my little tush looked in it. (They noticed!)  He didn't know what to think about it at first and then he didn't care what I wore.  He claims there are no rules at his house, then he proceeds to list some.  He prepares to leave to get another drink and asks me if I'd like a Rum and Coke.  I think about it seriously and then decline the offer.  Too many extra calories I use as my excuse.  He calls me a "pu**y", waits for my response and when one doesn't come he continues out the door.  The comment didn't bother me.  It is't flattering, but the moment was Matrix-esque.  The hurled deprecating words fly through the air and fall dead at my feet.  A tool employed by others when dealing with unwanted comments or advances now came naturally to me.

 

It's so powerful.  Now really my next step is to share my deepest desires such as telling them that I want to be rocking a bikini.  They have already offered me their hand.  I only have to overcome my remaining self consciousness and walk in the light.  There's precious little time left and the door is closing.  Choices like calories matter.

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Happy Saturday evening all my friends. Not doing much just listening to 80s flashback on the radio. In early out early at work today. Got another Asst manager, a transfer from another store. Finally getting more people.

 

My friend and supporter at work is probably looking to move back to her first store. So there goes my support at the store. Figures, I finally start getting a friend and she leaves. Story of my life.

 

I love the nail polish it is bulletproof I was working on getting the fuel tank out of the wagon. Well more like struggling. I figured I had it all kinds of scraps, and gouges. Not one bit. Slowly getting my hobby corner of the closet set up. Hope to shortly be able to actually work on a model.

 

Hugs, for now.

 

Kymmie

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