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What Am I? I'm Not Sure.

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723 topics in this forum

  1. How Do I know if I feel Like a Man?

    • 21 replies
  2. Am I just transcum?

    • 10 replies
  3. a nonbinary transition?

    • 5 replies
  4. Questioning Is a Wonderful Time

    • 6 replies
  5. New questioning

    • 1 reply
  6. Having trouble identifying

    • 3 replies
    • 3 replies
  7. Because of uncertainty

    • 5 replies
  8. Identity

    • 8 replies
  9. Fluctuating Dysphoria

    • 3 replies
  10. Am I trans? (MtF)

    • 2 replies
    • 16 replies
    • 5 replies
    • 15 replies
  11. Questioning and consfuse

    • 9 replies
  12. I KNOW I'm transgender BUT...

    • 8 replies
  13. Not confortable being male

    • 3 replies
  14. Your thoughts please

    • 6 replies
  15. Gender Identity Confusion

    • 6 replies
  16. Looking for an Outsider's Perspecitve

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  17. Gender fluid, maybe?

    • 8 replies
  18. Looking to Make Sense of Things

    • 9 replies
  19. Why the hell don't I know my own gender

    • 11 replies
  20. What do I call what I know I am?

    • 2 replies
  21. Questioning afab

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  • Posts

    • Susan R
      This is very true.  There are changes that I don’t feel I can talk about because it is so subjective and unprovable.  Add the fact that everyone has a different experience to some degree and you have a recipe for doubt and possible ridicule from others.   Actually Kathy, this “lightness and joy” is a very good description of my general feeling while being on E.  Although prior to E (and medical transition), I was somewhat depressed and had a deep rooted anger that was present under it all.  Also, for someone my age, I had a high pre-transition T level (835ng/dL).  So being down at 17ng/dL now, I’ve noticed very little desire to compete to the death (lol) with others and even with myself like I once did.  That has reduced my overall stress immensely and has allowed me to stay calm in situations that normally would’ve had me raging.   Emotions are closer now to the surface with the exception of anger (I’m happy about that).  Some emotions like are less controllable as some have mentioned.  These new feelings make it easier for me to empathize, apologize and forgive others much easier now.  I like the new emotional me and so does my wife.  It works well with my personality.   Susan R🌷
    • Taylor
      It'll be hard to say until it happens, though if it has to do with weight loss and muscle mass, I'm not sure I'll lose all that much (I'm kind of a beanpole as it is). Though I will definitely keep in mind to exercise, more to prevent losing too much muscle mass.     I'm glad others find it interesting . Personally mental/emotional changes weren't immediate, sounds more or less the same for those who have shared so far. Though it does sound like it kicks in relatively early on (within the first month or so). The only possible experience I have with this so far is occasionally my eyes tear up a bit. It's far from crying. I don't really have any emotion (that I sense) attached to it, just a little wetness. Not even positive its related to HRT, but I don't recall it happening (at least not nearly this frequent) before.   I appreciate people contributing so much to this. Thanks, Taylor
    • KathyLauren
      It took me a while to notice the emotional changes, because they were really subtle.  I suspect they probably happened in the first week or two, but it took me longer than that to be aware of them.   Right now, I have been off my E for a week, due to upcoming surgery.  What I noticed coming off it (because I was looking for it) is that my emotions have gone "flat" and "heavy".  Sorry, I can't describe it any better than that.  I feel none of the lightness and joy that I have felt for the last three years.  This is what I felt pre-transition.  I know in my head that I am in a better place now, but for the time being, I don't feel it.   I presume that the change starting E happened in about the same time frame as stopping it: about a week, maybe two.   Regards, Kathy
    • Jani
      Welcome Ava!  I'm happy to see you here.  I'm former Navy.  Please join in, I think you'll find this a kind and caring place with knowledgeable members.   Cheers, Jani
    • MaryMary
      welcome here I'm happy you found us
    • Avalynn808
      Aloha fam!    Just wanted to introduce myself, and let you know I'm super excited to be a part of this wonderful community!   I'm an Active Duty Navy Chief, with 11 years of service so far.  I started my transition in August of 2018, and got my diagnosis that November.  I started HRT in April 2019, and have grown so much since.  As a member of multiple communities, to include SPART*A Trans on Facebook, as well as all the major social media platforms, I wanted to reach out here and continue spreading positivity.  I have A LOT of knowledge about the policies and procedures for the Department of Defense as a whole.  So if there are any questions, concerns, or you are just wanting someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out to me!   See my interests/bio for more info about me.  Again, I'm super happy to be here, and look forward to chatting with you all! Hugs! 😊💖 -Ava
    • MaryMary
      the funny thing is that I could talk a lot about emotionnal changes but in my life this subject was so controversial and impossible to prove scientifically that I mostly kept all the mental/emotionnal changes to myself so far. I could talk a lot about it and it fascinate me but I feel that if you do that you often get a sceptical eye hahaha
    • MaryMary
      for me it took a couple of weeks to have the full mental effects. It's easy to not realize it's there depending on your personnality. It's also very controversial to even mention this IRL, lol All I can say it's that it's there. I mainly observed this in the beginning because of how my gut reaction to daily parenthood changed. To me it's really like a second puberty, it's the best way I can describe it. I remember having one on one meetings with my boss and being incapable of stopping myself from crying. It was totally unwanted and very far from the frozen/dissociated/cold me from the past.  Contrary to cis woman you have 0 experience with dealing with it so it can be surprising and I know that I was a little ... unstable... in the beginning. You do learn some tricks after a while to control your hormones.
    • MaryMary
      if, like me, you have 0 T or almost then you can take P that can potentially help you gain some libido depending on your genetics. (or at least that's what I understood from my doctor)
    • MaryMary
      Before HRT the adrenal gland and the testicles are producing. Hrt blocks T from those sources and replace it by E GRS removes testicles and you take meds to have E Some doctors like mine will make me stop E once I'm old enough and all feminizing effects are done.
    • DeeDee
      This is a really fascinating thread. Thanks for starting it Taylor  I would be interested in the mental and emotional changes with HRT, was it immediate or did it take a while for your body to adjust not having T anymore?
    • MaryMary
      synthetic estrogen and T are pure forms of their respective hormones. A small percentage of testosterone is made in the adrenal glands on top of our kidneys. About 5% I think. According to my blood tests I'm not sure my liver was producing that much but hey, that's what I'm reading. I know that my doctor is trying to put my numbers near those of cis people but I have like... 99% E and 1 % T which is probably more E then a cis woman. That must be why I have 0 libido, lol That's the reason why you need a doctor for this (I know it's obvious) because it can be hard to match numbers of cis people, much harder then you might expect...
    • Jackie C.
      It's not dramatic by any means,  but yes I've lost about half a shoe size.  Of course that makes me a women's 13. Keeping in mind that I specifically started working out to keep from losing too much muscle mass and to keep myself from gaining too much weight from the HRT. Then it was a certain amount of body pride because I wanted to look nice.   So yeah, half a shoe size.    Hugs!
    • MaryMary
      wow, we took roads that are so different to us coming out and be ourselves. That's so interesting to me. Thanks a lot for sharing.   the jock who went in the USAF and the effiminate (insert pejorative word here) who studied in litterature and was part of a poetry club. lol that's so amazing
    • J.Ryan
      Both males and females have both estrogen and testosterone in their bodies. Albeit women have generally less testosterone, and men have less estrogen. If a cis woman has a hysterectomy (removes the ovaries), she has to take estrogen supplements, since her body can no longer make the hormone. Some trans men also opt to keep their ovaries and remove the uterus, therefore still having a source of natural hormone production in the off-chance they cannot access T.    I can only assume that synthetic estrogen or testosterone aren't exclusively T or E, but a mixture of both T and E; the same as cis people. This is what I understand, and if you're wondering about the effects or sources where the sex hormones come from, I would ask a doctor. 
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