A Place To Say Something

[Guest DianeATL]

It's not surprising that most CIS people don't understand us and I am really appreciative of those who do.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day who identifies as Transgendered but is not transitioning, just cross dresses as often as she can. She made the comment "putting on a dress helps keep me from committing suicide." I totally got it, understood, and agreed feeling the same way.

Then I tried to hear that comment from the perspective of someone who does not have GID and heard how absurd that sounded. If you can't put on a dress, then you would kill yourself. How crazy sounding is that? For those who have never experienced the emotional distress of a mis matched body and spirit, there is simply no way to understand or relate to absolute torture associated with trying to present in a way that is inconsistent with how you feel. I can't find an analogy or way of explaining it to someone who doesn't share the affliction.

Has anyone else found a good way to convey the feelings to "normal" people?

[Charlize]

Perhaps if you were to suggest to a cis male that he put on a dress or a cis woman that she wear a beard and move around in the world. They might understand.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest AshleighP]

Great question: "Has anyone else found a good way to convey the feelings to "normal" people?"

What is this "normal" you speak of?

I have a hard enough time conveying my feelings to myself, let alone to others. I only know that I feel complete and most comfortable when dressed and presenting myself as Ashleigh. I too, am someone who is not at this point considering transitioning, but I do cross dress whenever the opportunity presents itself, and underdress most everyday. I used to believe that I was a freak and the only one in the world who felt this way. Conveying these feelings to others who don't share the same desires is difficult at best.

That is why I am so thankful to have found this site where I can share my innermost thoughts and desires without fear of judgement. So many of the things I have been through and thoughts that I have had have been shared by others here. As for explaining it, I have no idea how you go about it. People either understand and accept, or they don't. Most have predetermined ideas as to what "normal" is and if you don't fit their particular standard, then you get labeled "abnormal".

[Guest Stacie Cheyenne]

Hi, I'm a New Member "" Stacie Cheyenne "", I'm 51 years old, Happily married 24 1/2 years, My Wife knows all about my Cross Dressing / Transexual Life style. And I totally Love it, I started when I was a Young Teenager. And have wanted to explore and to get to Know others like Myself, to Interact and share my Experiences, Both good and bad. THANK YOU, For Letting Me / Us to become part of your Online Group / forum / Family. I have worn many Beautiful Dresses, Skate Skirts, Blouses, Feminine Undergarments, Satin and Silky clothes, Nightgowns Etc... I want To explore More of this Part of Me. And My Relatives don't Know And Wouldn't Understand, And that is why now I'm reaching out to other's, Hopefully this make's since. With Love and Undestanding Your's Truly "" Stacie Cheyenne ""

[Guest Stacie Cheyenne]

Hi it's "" Stacie Cheyenne "" again, And I just want to say, How Excited and Happy I am, To have Joined this site, And to open up. About Who I am & Who I want to be and the True and Awesome Beauty and Love and Internal Feeling's, I want to Know and Feel:

[Guest Stacie Cheyenne]

I'm new to this site, Not to first MTF Crossdressing, Then Hiding it for the better part of 40 Year's, My wife of 24 plus years, Has known for over 20 year's and at first it bothered her, But she Knows Me Being Transgendered, Is Making me a lot Happier. Who I Am & What make's me Happy. And Now She see's how Happy being " Stacie Cheyenne " Make's Me, For Now I'll Close, But Will Talk & Post again very soon, Thank's:

[Guest]

Fat chance consulting with an Anglophone shrink. I was told this morning to "go pound sand" by them. :banghead:

Not a good day is a grave understatement.

Joann

[Guest Zayden]

Last week I contacted my insurance company to see what was covered and how I could go about ensuring that my surgeries and other things would be covered. I was informed by the representative that nothing was covered as it is all considered cosmetic. (Hormone therapy aside, of course) Also that there was a cap on my mental health coverage. However, I had contacted someone last year (a Trans lady who coordinates such things for my company in North America) who had advised me it was covered, so I emailed her. I received an email from my company (from the head HR department) as well as the insurance company apologizing for the miscommunication as well as a phone call from a representative, unfortunately I had to go to work but she invited me to call at my convenience.

I guess someone messed up somewhere, but they fixed it which is the main thing.

[Ravin]

My therapist said today said she'd write me a letter for hormones at the end of February. I'd initially thought it would be more like June.

Is it unmanly to scream? Or ridiculous to not be sure I'm ready so soon, even if it's what I'm working towards?

[Guest KarenLyn]

Yes, but we'll make an exception this time.

[Charlize]

Roaring with joy is a great masculine trait. You will probably find it gets easier with a bit more T. Now schreeks are indeed a bit feminine but in this case totally understandable and to be forgiven. It is odd that we work so hard to get approval and then when it comes we start to worry again. Seems to be a non gendered human reaction.

Hugs,

Charlie

[JJ]

Congratz Ravin! Most of us have that moment when we hesitate after we get what we work so hard for. And it means we are aware of what we are doing and just how serious it really is. I think in a way we are never really ready-especially since it is a leap of faith on some level-and at the same time it is overdue and should have always been the way it was. After nearly 3 years I still look forward to every shot while dreading the actual process to some extent. Best decision I ever made and I hope it brings you the same conviction and feeling

Johnny

[Guest Jennifer T]

Perhaps if you were to suggest to a cis male that he put on a dress or a cis woman that she wear a beard and move around in the world. They might understand.

Hugs,

Charlie

I tried explaining things that way to my wife. She insists that's not the same...

[Guest Jaques]

someone put this on my facebook page, its so funny, just had to share........

[Cyndee]

Jaques

[Charlize]

Love that Jaques!!!!! Jennifer i did the same and got back this response... and i quote: "how would you like it if i turned male?" My wise hinny response....." i'd try to make you a good wife". Didn't go over all that well.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest]

:harhar:

[Guest Stacie Cheyenne]

I just wanted to post that in 7 hour's, I am see'ing my gender therapist for my first session, we have talked on the phone And texted & email - but haven't had an actual face to face, till 11:00 am this morning.

[Guest]

Way to go, Stacie Cheyenne.

Now, try to relax.<giggle>

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Claire-G]

I haven't posted lately just been round to look.

Things are gooing smooth but soooo slow.

4 weeks between talks with shrinks is not fast enough.

Ah well at least I get be to be myself everyday now.

6 months Claire and while not easy sometimes it's gooood.

I

[Guest Jaques]

isnt it it incredible how some fish & reptiles can change gender naturally, according to their need to surive as a species, with us humans its very different, for us its about changing because we feel wrong in the bodies weve been born with - its an interesting subject to contemplate - and wouldnt it be marvellous if we could just change at will.....................

[Charlize]

This little fishie is doing that by her will or some other. It is amazing that we can do that as well. It might not allow us to reproduce as the gender we become but the change alone is so amazing to a girl born in the 40's. Few of us changed then and HRT or surgery were virtually impossible. Not to mention a society of other fish ready to eat any " deviants". The waters are getting better and i love swimming even though the weather has frozen the world outside.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Jaques]

Well ~Charlie, I'm happy to hear that and this "girl" from the l940's took a lifetime to metamorphise - as in thinking i was lesbian, becoming a drag king and gradually butterflying out as ME...................if it links, take a look at the interlude from l998 - 2006, I was part of a duo called The Bad Boiz, did gigs all over Britain and abroad, had parties with the likes of Delagrace Volcano who wrote The Dragking book and began the Club Wotever in London, Diane Torr from the States, who now lives in Scotland held Dragking workshops at my apartment in Guildford, Surrey and my last performance as Little Billy London was on Hastings Pier just before some kind person burned it to the ground - Im happy to say after that, this year its just, thanks to the National lottery funds and local people, being rebuilt - if you cant link up, just go to You tube and enter DRAG F2M 0 some of the photos are a bit blurred as they were from live performances.............http://youtu.be/wClxNSL1iMc

[Ravin]

I should not have peeked at the "first time shaving your legs" thread on the MTF board. The very good advice and accurate description of the process brought back horrible childhood memories.

I've repressed so many little traumas in what I remember as mostly a happy childhood, it's very jarring when they come to the surface.

[Guest Michelle57]

I saw the post about the word " transgendered " . It is kind of funny in a way and it makes me wonder how that word came to be. From age 5 to 13 I thought I was strange. From age 13 to 15 I thought I was dilusional. At age 16 I shot myself and then I was told that I had a dual personality one male and one female and that I was psychotic, therefore from 16 to 41 I just thought I was crazy. At 42 I got the shock of my life, I was told that I was " transgender " . What is that, I asked . Do I have some kind of disease, I asked. The psychiatrist responds, technically you are a transsexual. I'm a what ? What is that ? You are female but have a male body. Ok, so how do I get rid of it ? He says, you don't. You have to learn how to live with it , how to deal with it. It will take a lot of therapy, some one on one and maybe even consider group therapy. Group therapy ? Group therapy with who ? Well the group therapy would be with other transgender people like yourself. What ? You mean there are other people like me ? Well actually there are a lot of transgender people and I have several transsexual individuals as patients. I think group therapy would really help you alot by meeting other people with the same issues that you have. Issues ! Mmm, more crazies ! Wow ! I think I'm going to have to pass on that I said. I thanked him as I got up to leave. I got to my car and sat there for a bit thinking about the last hour. I just shook my head as I started the car and mumbled, and here I thought I was a nut case but this guy is a lunatic, he's crazier than I am. I went to several more shrinks for a few more years trying to get my anti depresants and I'll be if every one of them didn't tell me same thing, I won't ever get pass my depression if I don't deal with being transgender. By now I'm getting real tired of hearing that word. At 56 I was right on the edge of my fifth suicide attempt and my fifteen year old son was the only thing that saved me and I decided to give this transgender thing a shot and started therapy. I met alot of people just like me, the same thoughts, problems , feelings, issues and the whole nine yards. For fifty plus years I always thought I was psychotic and just plain crazy.

All these years I have been labeled with so many different names and they all led up to the word " transgender " then that was carved, shaved and refined to the word transexual. I often wonder who came up with that word and it's meaning and why hadn't I ever heard it before I was 42. Well I guess it doesn't really matter because now I know what I am and who I am and that I never was psychotic, nuts, crazy or weird and if fact that I am in reality " normal ". I have been on HRT for three months now and I have never felt better and I love waking up each morning and look forward to each new days surprises, good and bad, because now I see them thru new eyes, my thoughts and thought process is so much clearer and I know where this new road is leading me.

" Transgender " What is that ?