A Place To Say Something

[Guest Bellexia]

I love these meds!!! Before the anti depressants sometimes when thinking of myself I would think of a guy I had to force myself to see the girl. Now I feel like omg I don't even have to think about it, the mental image of me just occurs Also boobs are super sore :c

[Guest LauraJen]

Thanks for the input, although I still think there are better ways to deal with something that you don't understand than resort to manipulation and emotional blackmail. I doubt my mum has even googled the word "gender". Really though, they have a choice to support me or not, and unfortunately for me they have chosen not to. There isn't really a lot I can do about that and I think if my mum was ever going to turn then she would have done so by now.

I would have transitioned years ago given the chance, but the needed support just wasn't there. If it was then I would probably have even been close to surgery now. Everybody I have become close friends with over the years are about my age and have basically finished and I am still on square one - when the response you get from the people responsible for the excessive waiting is "Tough, you're in the unlucky majority", it doesn't really help the negative feelings I have described.

I know I don't really feel all that great about my upcoming birthday for various reasons, but the best thing I can do really is just try to find a job as soon as I can. At least I have several applications on the go at the moment and the operation is in full swing.

[Guest Jennifer T]

LauraJen, was just trying to give you a little perspective from the other side. I don't know your parents and how you all relate. I won't pretend to have answers for your situation. But, all things else aside, if you want to move toward transition, then you need to take your destiny into your own hands. Don't compare your journey to anyone else's. Rare (in my estimation) are those to whom such a thing is given. Most who transition do so through sweat and tears.

I haven't transitioned. I blame no one. What I do or do not do is simply on me.

Peace to you this day. I pray your journey brings you fulfillment.

[Guest LauraJen]

LauraJen, was just trying to give you a little perspective from the other side. I don't know your parents and how you all relate. I won't pretend to have answers for your situation. But, all things else aside, if you want to move toward transition, then you need to take your destiny into your own hands. Don't compare your journey to anyone else's. Rare (in my estimation) are those to whom such a thing is given. Most who transition do so through sweat and tears.

I haven't transitioned. I blame no one. What I do or do not do is simply on me.

Peace to you this day. I pray your journey brings you fulfillment.

I know, and i appreciate that. Thank you very much as I really appreciate someone to listen. I know it's hard for parents and no parent ever wants to have to face up to this. I haven't had the best of days today so sorry if I sounded a bit terse.

[Guest Jennifer T]

No apologies necessary, LauraJen. All is good.

[Guest Jennifer T]

Hi LauraJen. Ftr, I was out of sorts yesterday as well. Tough weekend. Was pretty down yesterday. So, my apologies as well if I came off defensive. I certainly understand that the place you are in involves an affair of the heart that simply needs to be heard. I do hear you. And I hope you keep sharing here. It can be a lonely road to travel. I know. I walked it alone for 30-40 years. You've a gift here at LP; a place to share your hurts and struggles. Please do not let my moods affect that. Ok?

There is a road we must walk. We may all be at different places on that road, but we share it none the less. I am thankful that I can peer through the fog and see other travelers.

Peace be yours this day.

[Guest Bellexia]

I am going to be moving towards Abilene and I am terrified because I will be in a small town with no idea how to get to a GT, or get my named changed, or find a doctor to help me, or a tg group. I am on the verge of tears and I am not depressed, I am just so scared. I don't know what to do :c

[Guest LizMarie]

Abilene, Texas is a city of approximately 120,000. That's not a small town so you'll probably be able to find most resources you need, Bellexia. The biggest limitation may be a relatively small number of other GLBT folks in the area, especially trans, if you are looking for that kind of support.

I hope it goes well for you! Please do let us know how things turn out. I know there's a small but regular trans support group in Beaumont, and Beaumont is almost the same size as Abilene so you might find more support than I originally indicated.

[Guest Bellexia]

Wow thanks hun That gave me a boost of confidence I needed, I guess I am just scared of moving to new places, but hopefully I can find what I need there Mainly doctor and hopefully I won't have to drive all the way to carrollton for my electro :x

[Guest LizMarie]

I am going to be driving all the way to Carrollton for my electro! I just finally booked my first appointment, since E3000 was booked for months in advance so now I am looking forward to December.

[Guest Bellexia]

Haha that's where I will schedule my appointments, maybe I will see you there

[Guest Bellexia]

What's funny is the best electro is in my hometown I bet I will be all nostalgia'd out when I go.

[Guest Zayden]

I'm surrounded but I feel alone.

I'm loved but I feel unloved.

I have every reason to keep moving forward but some days it seems so difficult.

[Guest Tamar]

Orchidectomy consult tomorrow.

[Charlize]

That is one for my future as well. Hope it goes well for you Tamar.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Ravin]

I just made an appointment for a gender therapist. Finally.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Thank you Carolyn Marie, 4 Charlie and Shilo for the birthday wishes!

I turned twenty-one....again. I've been turning 21 for over 10 years now! Yes I know that makes me thirty-*mumbles last number*

But I don't look a day over *mumbles some other number*

[Guest naminsann]

Hurt my elbow yesterday, still have no idea how that happend I had to stay home, I had been very busy at work lately and hadn't had time for much else, so alot of people who I hadn't seen for a while took it as an excuse to come by and visit. So, my elbow is a little bruised and swollen still, but its nice to know you have friends that care about you. Maybe I should take it as a sign I should relax more.

[Guest KarenLyn]

I'm having another rough day. It's just under 6 weeks since my husband passed away. I had a fleeting thought that I should just end it but got through it on my own. I'm going to lunch with my step daughter tomorrow. She's my only emotional support right now. I really wish I could just crawl into a hole and hide. Instead I go through the motions because regardless of how I feel, life goes on.

[VickySGV]

Karen, if Andy was the guy you describe, he wants you to go on and follow your dreams and does not want you hurting yourself. Take heart in knowing that is what he would want.

[Guest KarenLyn]

Karen, if Andy was the guy you describe, he wants you to go on and follow your dreams and does not want you hurting yourself. Take heart in knowing that is what he would want.

The problem there is all my dreams included Andy. I'm trying, but right now I just don't have a good reason to keep going. And now I'm crying again and dammit my eyes hurt from crying all the time. I'll live, but right now, I'm just not happy about it.

K

[Guest LauraJen]

Thank you Carolyn Marie, 4 Charlie and Shilo for the birthday wishes!

I turned twenty-one....again. I've been turning 21 for over 10 years now! Yes I know that makes me thirty-*mumbles last number*

But I don't look a day over *mumbles some other number*

Happy belated birthday, Liz! I hope you had a great day.

I am about to have one as well, I will be turning 17 for the seventh time! Not quite... I will be 23. I think I would have done things very differently if I was 17 again. Then again, wouldn't we all, no matter how many times we could go back?

[Guest DianeATL]

This has really been a good girl week for me. I was able to dress and go out last Sat, Mon, and Tues nights. Then Thur and Fri I did girl lunches with 2 new girlfriends. That is 5 out of the last 6 days that I have been myself and out and about.

At lunch we had the waiter take our picture together and she posted it on Facebook. The hostess complimented both of us on our tops, After lunch I stopped by Target to pick up something I forgot, another first for me, and I stopped by Payless where I had only bought in boy mode before but while I was in the area I thought I would check it out and see if I couldn't live without a new pair.

I had to change back into boy mode later in the day and got a mani/pedi and instead of having my nails cut short I asked her to just shape them for me. ;-)

Then I stopped at Starbucks and just about screwed up. They asked for my name for my drink and I had Diane about halfway out of my mouth before I caught it. Luckily my boy name also starts with a D so I was able to transition from one name to the other. I guess I was just getting used to being Diane all of the time. The boy clothes were not enough to flip me out of my feminine mode, I like that.

[Guest DianeATL]

And it gets better at dinner tonight!

A little background in case you haven't kept up with my 10000000 posts ;-). Married many years and my wife has known and tolerated my Cross Dressing since before we were married. She does not know yet about my being diagnosed as TG and wanting to transition. I am working with my therapist on how and when and being supported when I broach that subject very soon.

So anyway we are at dinner. She is telling me about a face Rx she is picking up after dinner. I tell her that I wish I could get rid of the little lines in face and she says her Rx would do that and we could share it. So I let her know I have a Clinique cream that really helps with bags and dark circles under the eyes and she is welcome to use my cream.

She said "I can't believe we are sharing make up" - I managed to contain my excitement at the future prospects.

[Guest]

Isn't the Fiestas Patrias celebrations due to start in the PNW soon?

Just wondering.

Not that I'll have a chance to make it there.

Huggs,

Joann