Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

On 8/8/2021 at 7:04 AM, LaurenA said:

OMG  Just got a text.  Internal bleeding.  Into ICU

I'm so sorry. Hope all goes well.

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2063

  • KymmieL

    1665

  • Mmindy

    1410

  • Ivy

    1210

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

On 8/8/2021 at 2:26 PM, Elizabeth Star said:

My partner never ceases to amaze me. Over the last couple of days she's showing concern for my safely when I'm out and about. She didn't worry about it before and just thought I was being difficult by wanting to shop at certain stores. I never explained trans friendly/safe spaces to her because I felt it would have been lost due to lack of understanding. Apparently, given some time, I didn't need to.

 

And it continues....

Since the weather's been disgustingly hot over the last couple of days and I have the desire to get to the point where I never wear jeans in public again I've been doing a lot of window shopping for skirts and dresses. Last Friday, while at work, I found a cute dress and sandals on-line. Not wanting to lose track of them I put them in our amazon cart. Today my partner needed to order a few things.  I was ready to panic when she asked why there was already stuff in the cart. I thought for sure I was going to hear about it (a green mini-dress and wedges) but again it didn't happen. Just a 'can this wait until you paid on Wednesday?'. Then she felt bad about asking me to wait but I had already agreed that waiting 3-4 days won't kill me.

 

I'm just really, really happy we finally got here. I don't think she has any idea how amazing she is to me.

That's awesome. Can't wait for that to happen for me.

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Well last night/yesterday was about a low as I could get.  My panic/anxiety ramped up about my relationship and the grief was overwhelming.  I was so unconsolable for hours that I honestly wanted to die and said so.  My sisters and wife supported me through the crisis and after a bit of Ativan I was able to calm down.  The whole family sat down and came up with a safety and game plan for me.  For the record- I don't want to die. It's just sometimes the grief gets to much for me.  I'm reaching out to my psychiatrist today and have an appointment with a different therapist tomorrow to see if he is any better.  If not, I am going outside of insurance to meet with someone weekly until I get a handle on things.  The biggest trigger for me right now is I have a -crap- ton of down time by myself.  I really only have to be at my business about 12-15 hours a week and I have no real friends to just "do things with". all my "friends" are part of my business networking groups.

I'm going to ask my friend who own my favorite fashion consignment shop if I can help out around the place 1-2 days a week, even if I don't get paid.  I love the people there and they love me and I'm really happy when I visit and socialize there so what the hell.  

My sisters and I are going to sign up for weekly dance lessons as well.  

I'm so happy I have so much support and love in my life, including my soon to be ex. Even though we know we can't still be married we still want to be heavily involved in each others lives and continue to love and support each other. I have so much -crap- going so well in my world, I just have to be able to break through those pits of despair and recognize it.

Wow, I'm sorry you are going through this. Good thing you have support. Idle time is the worst for me also. I try to keep busy and think about my future plans for surgery. That helps me.

Link to comment

I sold my air compressor yesterday. I don't have 220v. in my garage and besides it really was too big for my needs. It's 6hp, 60 gallon and was given to me by BIL like 15 years ago. Anyways, a couple of guys came over to get it and I made the mistake of helping them load it. They were struggling so much just trying to carry the motor end that I had to jump in and carry the bottom. While we were moving it I overheard one of them whisper to the other Wow, she's strong. I just pretended I didn't hear anything but realized I could have outed myself by being so helpful. Then there was the fun part of watching them try to secure it to their trailer. I tried to help for a minute and decided it was best to step back, check my nails, and let the guys do their thing. I don't entirely approve of how they secured it but what do I know,  I'm just a woman.

 

Afterward, my partner and I were discussing what to do with the proceeds. I suggested she uses some of to pay our hair stylist when she comes over tonight and to go get her nails done this weekend. She immediately comes back with we'll get our nails done.  I wasn't expecting that. She had made it a point in the past that she wanted me to stay out of the salons. She felt it would rob her of her femininity if I was to get mine professionally done too.

 

Now it feel like I'm the one adapting to me being a woman. I was denied so much over the last couple years that I got used to having to fight and argue for everything that finally being supported and encouraged is throwing me off a bit.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well this morning I am going in for a female only exam, one I don't even think my wife has gotten. a mammogram.  

 

Of course, don't expect any problems. I did find out yesterday that I have a small spot on my back that my dermatologist is going to take off. So on the 20th I am going in for minor surgery, to have it removed.  

 

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Vidanjali I agree that a non threatening conversation one on one would be the best choice.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I just pretended I didn't hear anything but realized I could have outed myself by being so helpful.

 

Nah, it just means you're strong. My partner at the gym is a small cis woman. She can press more than I can (though I'm starting to catch up). Women are allowed to be strong. After about one or two years of HRT, you've got no advantage whatsoever over a cis woman (assuming female-normal T levels).

 

Girl power!

 

I need to get my nails done too. They're a disaster. I keep meaning too, but I never seem to have the time. I'd probably just wreck 'em at work anyway.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning everyone,

 

Catching up after being away is filled with highs and lows. I must say that I agree with @Bri2020this forum and the people who interact with each other is so loving and therapeutic. It can be the words of someone brand new or a senior administrator, and the advice is caring.

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Then there was the fun part of watching them try to secure it to their trailer. I tried to help for a minute and decided it was best to step back, check my nails, and let the guys do their thing. I don't entirely approve of how they secured it but what do I know,  I'm just a woman.

Heh heh.   Fun, but sometimes painful to watch.

Link to comment

Good morning, all. @Jackie C. @Elizabeth Star @Shay thanks for the feedback. You know how it is when something is unsaid and it lingers on your mind? So, I appreciate having y'all to chat with. 

 

Liz, I agree with Jackie about girl power. I've observed guys often seem impressed by physically strong ladies. And, it's more likely they thought it was hot than anything else. Enjoy the salon with your wife - how lovely! 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I sold my air compressor yesterday. I don't have 220v. in my garage and besides it really was too big for my needs. It's 6hp, 60 gallon and was given to me by BIL like 15 years ago. Anyways, a couple of guys came over to get it and I made the mistake of helping them load it. They were struggling so much just trying to carry the motor end that I had to jump in and carry the bottom. While we were moving it I overheard one of them whisper to the other Wow, she's strong. I just pretended I didn't hear anything but realized I could have outed myself by being so helpful. Then there was the fun part of watching them try to secure it to their trailer. I tried to help for a minute and decided it was best to step back, check my nails, and let the guys do their thing. I don't entirely approve of how they secured it but what do I know,  I'm just a woman

That's funny. I have an air compressor to get rid of also. It needed a head kit so my boss bought the parts, then decided it wasn't big enough to run our new bead blaster that takes 75 cfm. He gave me the old one 45 cfm, with the parts. I rebuilt the head and found out I couldn,t get a 5 hp motor to run it. it originally had a 10 hp. when it burned out we put a 15 hp 3 ph on it. I don't have 3 phase, so I geared the rpm on pump down to the slowest it would run, but it wasn't enough. This thing sells for $3500.00 used. My garage is so packed with storage and construction stuff, I can't even get to it now. One of these days i'll clean it out. I've decided it's time to slow down on remodeling an start enjoying my retirement. This house was built in 1900 and needs more work than it's worth. I already tore down and rebuilt a porch, put a second floor on my garage, and tore down the other porch and built a new bedroom in it's place. I'm getting worn out. It needs gutted, new foundation, electric, siding, windows, etc. and my wife doesn't want to move. Oh well. We have 7 people living in this house, and 3 are disabled. I've done almost all the work by myself, even concrete and block work. It's time to quit.

Sorry, I guess I just ran this story into the ground. Hope you all have a great day.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, Mammogram is done. in and out even before my appointment time. Ran by Burger King and got a crosandwich. Haven't had one in a while. Forgot how good they are.

 

I have a observation and a question. For the past year or two. I have noticed a lot of ladies from teen to maybe 30s Have a nose ring. Anyone know why? It seems to be all demographics. trend, right of passage, ????

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

 

 

I have a observation and a question. For the past year or two. I have noticed a lot of ladies from teen to maybe 30s Have a nose ring. Anyone know why? It seems to be all demographics. trend, right of passage, ????

 

Kymmie

People are adopting a lot of other cultures historic fashions. Hindi women popularized having lots of facial jewelry although most weren't piercing but removable. Nose rings years back were more of the "modern primitive" movement of lots of piercings (so not many people) but now there's a whole fashion trend of non-pierced ear and nose stuff.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I just wish people wouldn't do the tongue piercings - was in an ER years ago and someone had an infection - it wasn't pretty and it was VERY painful.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

I have a observation and a question. For the past year or two. I have noticed a lot of ladies from teen to maybe 30s Have a nose ring. Anyone know why? It seems to be all demographics. trend, right of passage, ????

My wife will be 68 soon. She's had a nose stud for about 20 years now. She has always liked Eastern Indian styles.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Shay said:

I just wish people wouldn't do the tongue piercings - was in an ER years ago and someone had an infection - it wasn't pretty and it was VERY painful.

My son did tattoos years ago. Some piercings also. He would never reccomend tongue piercings. Way too dangerous.

They say our mouth is the dirtiest part of our body.

Link to comment

Just got back from my first of three trans-related appointments today. Had my BA pre-op appointment and final measuring.  I have to say, I'm not embarrassed to show my boobs (or lack thereof) in their office for fitting and stuff but the pre surg photos were very triggering.  I had to wear their disposable "panties"  which are almost impossible to tuck with. I thought I would wear my supportive panties that holds things in well but they insisted on having to have theirs because they have a "standard" for photos.  Water under the bridge but I may bring it up with the case managers/surgeon.  I never felt like I was judged or anything and the nurse always gendered me right and treated me well but it was just an internal issue for me. (and you all know how brave I can be wearing bikinis and such. lol)

I decided to go with a 345cc "full profile" implant vs the bigger 445cc "extra full" profile.  The Extra full looked to unnatural and gave more of a conical shape where as the full profile was more rounded and looked more natural I think.  Should end up with a nice C cup that I can "dress up" with a pushup bra for maximum cleavage/va va voom look on special occasions.

 

Anyways- next up is therapy appointment for second opinion letter for vaginoplasty then on to facial electrolysis.  I may need a drink tonight. lol

 

Link to comment

I'm sorry but I need help.  I think most of you know what I'm going through, but if not...  My last love of my live has heart, GI, and other problems.  So my problem is dealing with it.  I'm drinking way too much and can't stop.  I should be there by her bed right now but am almost too drunk to call UBER

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

... the "modern primitive" movement... 

 

Yes, this! I was a big fan. (And I worked as a body piercer & tattoo artist many moons ago.) The Research book (screen shot below) quickly became a cult classic when it came out in the late 80s. It came to my attention because it featured photos and interview with Genesis P'Orridge, basically the Godparent of all industrial music (bands Throbbing Gristle & Psychic TV), with whom I was enchanted. Later in life, Gen identified as what s/he coined as "pandrogyne". S/he expressed h/er life as an artform.

 

Regarding nose rings, etc., this article quotes h/er: "One of the great things about human beings is that they impulsively and intuitively express what is inevitably next in the evolution of culture and our species. It is the ‘Other’ that we are destined to become." 

 

https://drmarkgriffiths.wordpress.com/2013/02/16/a-gender-setting-inside-the-world-of-pandrogyny/

 

AND! while looking h/er up, I learned s/he has a memoir that was published posthumously. Just ordered it & very excited to read. 

 

 

20210810_115559.jpg

Screenshot_20210810-115618_Amazon Shopping.jpg

Link to comment
1 hour ago, LaurenA said:

I'm sorry but I need help.  I think most of you know what I'm going through, but if not...  My last love of my live has heart, GI, and other problems.  So my problem is dealing with it.  I'm drinking way too much and can't stop.  I should be there by her bed right now but am almost too drunk to call UBER

 

Lauren I'm so sorry and I can feel your pain. Please, pour any alcohol you have left in the house down a drain. Pack a change of clothes, go to the hospital by uber and go to the chapel and just sit there and sober up. Doesn't matter if you're religious or not, whether you pray or meditate or anything, just know it's a safe place to just be. When you are sober, go up to her room and be with her.  Ask the nurses if there is someplace in the hospital you can sleep for a bit tonight- they often have family rooms set aside (although I'm not sure with covid).   Consider going to an AA meeting before going home- even if you don't think that's an issue, you can get some immediate support to help you from drowning your sorrows.

We're here to talk you down if you need us

Link to comment
1 hour ago, LaurenA said:

I'm sorry but I need help.  I think most of you know what I'm going through, but if not...  My last love of my live has heart, GI, and other problems.  So my problem is dealing with it.  I'm drinking way too much and can't stop.  I should be there by her bed right now but am almost too drunk to call UBER

 

 

Yes, to what @Bri2020 said. Is there someone local to you whom you can call on to support you to make sure you get to the hospital? Once you're there, your focus will be on your loved one, you won't have the chance to drink, and dumping the guilt of not being there will go a very long way. Just get yourself there. That's the focus right now. Go drink a big glass of water, eat something and get ready. One small task at a time. Just try to focus on each small thing. 

Link to comment

Love can be stronger than alchohol if you allow it to be. Let it be your strength.

Link to comment

 I am so excited as tomorrow I have my first appointment with a doctor to discuss starting HRT. this Dr works with transgender people and came highly recommended from my local transgender support group. From what I am hearing I was very lucky to get in this quickly. At 64 and now getting ready to finally live my truth. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 94 Guests (See full list)

    • SamC
    • ClaireBloom
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.9k
    • Total Posts
      770.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,140
    • Most Online
      8,356

    LillyZ
    Newest Member
    LillyZ
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. avery78
      avery78
    2. blinkyrtx
      blinkyrtx
      (25 years old)
    3. Heather Shay
      Heather Shay
      (72 years old)
    4. hormonedifficientin2ways
      hormonedifficientin2ways
    5. IMTH
      IMTH
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      Yes I do... Creating/Building handcrafted gifts for family and friends using wood or metal. Camping and all the things you think could go with that, hiking, fishing, hunting, bird watching, meeting new people, and music festivals. Bluegrass, Folk, Americana. Seeing new parts of the world, and historical locations. Star gazing.   My father use to say he didn't trust anyone that didn't have at least to vises. I'm not so worried about your vises, however I don't think anyone should have less than two hobbies.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Congratulations @LoreleiI hope it works out for you.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KathyLauren
      We were not allowed to use calculators in high school.  Even if we could afford one, $80 (in 1970 dollars!) would only get you a four-function calculator, so it would have been pointless anyway.  Everything was slide rules and longhand.  Being a math nerd, that was no hardship for me.   When my brothers and I were cleaning out my father's house after he passed, I found a couple of slide rules in his wife's desk.  I appropriated them and still have them, my own having been foolishly tossed years ago.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      That is lovely, Charlize.  Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, and congrats on your "anniversary."  It's always been the little things that make me happiest about being a woman outwardly, and I'm glad that it's the same for you.  Getting older can sometimes be unpleasant and difficult, but we who transitioned later in life can appreciate the changes transition has brought us, as much as, or perhaps more than, someone who transitioned young.    HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Mmindy
      Hugs @MaeBeIt's normal to loose sleep after losing a job. Then you compound that with your anticipated move across the country and transitioning. I'm surprised you're getting any sleep. I'm also sure your wife does since any anxiety you're experiencing. I don't know if you're using online counseling or not, but it might be a good idea to keep in touch with your therapist via video until you locate a local therapist in your new community once you've moved.    It's okay to feel lost or detached while you're in the moving/job hunting process.   I'm excited for you and your new opportunities.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Carolyn Marie
      I would like to mention that I participated in this study today and completed a one hour interview with Mr. Davenport.  He had a lot of really excellent questions and was very nice.  I think he learned a lot from me, and I enjoyed talking with him.   Carolyn Marie
    • Charlize
      4 years ago after 63 years as a man my wife asked me what i wanted for my 64th birthday. I told her that i wanted her to come with me to the mall to get my ears pierced. That was our first trip out together as a pair of females. I think she felt so many of the fears i had felt for years when i'd dress and enter the world as myself. We did it and the sky didn't fall on us. I was walking on air, finally myself and in the world with the woman i love.      4 years have passed now. "He" is no longer presenting himself anywhere. He is not gone. 63 years of him dominating my life leaves many marks, many of which i still enjoy. He will always be part of me. The world now sees a much different person. I am still adjusting to the reactions of others. At the farm newcomers coming for lumber from the sawmill seem amazed when i come out to greet them. The "Your Charlize!" statements hold an incredulity i enjoy. When it comes to moving wood i am relegated to a much lighter load. No complaints form this older gal about that. It's fun to see the guys showing off a bit for my benefit but i wonder if they know how those boards got there to start? Mmmm being female brings up many interesting views i had not noticed before. Seeing the world from two sides is a privilege that compensates for the ignorance of the haters who simply can't understand. Speaking of that i wonder at how much different i might have been in a fully accepting world. Adversity does give perspectives not otherwise seen. I've found that in several aspects of my life.    Anyway 68 is great so far.    It's been very hot for this time of year here in NJ. Yesterday i was wearing a knee length jean skirt and nice red top when i went out to grab a pizza. Yea, we had a pizza party with my family. It was lovely. As i left the pizzeria with the pies in hands a gentleman ran to open the door for me. I looked at him to thank him and noticed his gaze seemed glued to my legs only looking up to smile when he heard my thanks. Ahhhh it's lovely to be a 68 year old hottie.     At 76 i'm still a happy young lady.  Men still smile and so do the women i meet at the store.  Life blesses me as the earth travels on another trip around the sun.  I am finding a peace with myself and the world that seemed impossible at 62.     Hugs,   Charlize
    • Vidanjali
      Thank you, @Betty K. You did very well in all respects. Please take care of your mental well-being, dear. Digging so deeply into this is bound to affect your inner peace. Don't let it stick to you, if you can. Much love. 
    • BobbiSkunk
      Last night was salmon (on a cedar plank?) and lima beans!  Kind of simple, but I needed that.   ...   Please, if anyone has tasty fish recipes share them?  Also, not sure why the salmon came with a small cedar plank to cook it on, was just looking to try something new.  >.>
    • Karen Carey
      Where am I?   I now have the answer.   A short recap. Having been diagnosed with gender dysphoria last year, at the age of 79, I started an initial dose of HRT in December. My psychiatrist suggested that it was likely to affect me in one of three ways. Firstly, that oestrogen was not right for me and to discontinue it; secondly that it might push me down the road to transition; thirdly that it might temper the dysphoria such that there would be no need to seek further transition. I felt a mix of wanting two and three, but with social transitioning (outside the family) terrifying me.    The first four months produced mild physical and mental changes that I have talked about before, and seem to be common. I felt that the HRT was easing me down the path to transitioning, encouraged by an Endo who was keen to hear of my progress with name-change and coming out further. (This on the assumption that I wanted to increase the HRT. I did not.)   Then, something strange happened.  In April I started reading @SallyStone’s chapters of her life (Sally’s Trans World, a wonderful read).  She made me think hard, and in a slightly different way from before. A switch clicked off.  It was 15th April when the desire to transition left me. Of course, the dysphoria has not wound back to zero.  I still love the feminine, admire the feminine form, and dressing as a woman. But, the urge to transition has gone.  The fear that I may regress just as suddenly is now easing. The result is a much more relaxed me.   My psychiatrist is very pleased (as am I) with the effect that HRT has had on me, and while recognising that GD is still his diagnosis, he recommends staying on the low dose. My GP is delighted that I am not proceeding any further with transition from a medical perspective. For me, the small physical effects that I am experiencing are outweighed by the mental benefits.   I write this to give a different perspective on the value of low-dose HRT. It may help those with GD who are uncertain about transitioning.   Thanks for reading.   Karen  
    • Lydia_R
      Wow!  I just have a banana bread in the bread machine right now.  It's coming out in an hour!!   Yes, I've been making a rye bread lately that I slice thinly and toast.  It reminds me of those rye crisp crackers that I used to eat at the greyhound races in high school.  My dad and his brother were crazy about the greyhound races.  I was more into the crackers and butter.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Wishing to be a normal guy
    • MaeBe
      Another night of lost sleep, the coffee is required. This time my anxiety wasn't about my gender it was about failing to get a job and the craziness we've barely even started working toward moving across the country. My wife must sense my unease, because she tends to wake me up after I've finally gotten back to sleep. :D
    • Lydia_R
      At peace with myself?  Definitely.  I always thought life would get better for me as time passes and it does.  I've learned to dance and sing while doing the dishes and I feel if I can be happy doing that, I can be happy doing almost anything.  I've gone from living on $5/day for years to making $3,200 for an hour of work.  Money doesn't mean much to me personally, but I enjoy paying bills and I love tracking my money and other things.  I'm far from rich (I averaged $33,000/year over 35 years of working), but I have excellent skills.  My personal happiness/success is based on the things I do in my environment.   Am I at peace at work or with others?  Certainly not.  Working with others is always a struggle.  I've always enjoyed being in my workshop.  I'm an artisan like that.
    • Ivy
      We used slide rules and logs in high school.  When my younger brother went to college he had to buy one of those calculators, it wasn't cheap. These days I don't mind using the calculator on my phone at all.  It's a lot simpler than the complicated way my brain processes numbers.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...