Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

On 8/8/2021 at 7:04 AM, LaurenA said:

OMG  Just got a text.  Internal bleeding.  Into ICU

I'm so sorry. Hope all goes well.

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2052

  • KymmieL

    1659

  • Mmindy

    1395

  • Ivy

    1196

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

On 8/8/2021 at 2:26 PM, Elizabeth Star said:

My partner never ceases to amaze me. Over the last couple of days she's showing concern for my safely when I'm out and about. She didn't worry about it before and just thought I was being difficult by wanting to shop at certain stores. I never explained trans friendly/safe spaces to her because I felt it would have been lost due to lack of understanding. Apparently, given some time, I didn't need to.

 

And it continues....

Since the weather's been disgustingly hot over the last couple of days and I have the desire to get to the point where I never wear jeans in public again I've been doing a lot of window shopping for skirts and dresses. Last Friday, while at work, I found a cute dress and sandals on-line. Not wanting to lose track of them I put them in our amazon cart. Today my partner needed to order a few things.  I was ready to panic when she asked why there was already stuff in the cart. I thought for sure I was going to hear about it (a green mini-dress and wedges) but again it didn't happen. Just a 'can this wait until you paid on Wednesday?'. Then she felt bad about asking me to wait but I had already agreed that waiting 3-4 days won't kill me.

 

I'm just really, really happy we finally got here. I don't think she has any idea how amazing she is to me.

That's awesome. Can't wait for that to happen for me.

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Well last night/yesterday was about a low as I could get.  My panic/anxiety ramped up about my relationship and the grief was overwhelming.  I was so unconsolable for hours that I honestly wanted to die and said so.  My sisters and wife supported me through the crisis and after a bit of Ativan I was able to calm down.  The whole family sat down and came up with a safety and game plan for me.  For the record- I don't want to die. It's just sometimes the grief gets to much for me.  I'm reaching out to my psychiatrist today and have an appointment with a different therapist tomorrow to see if he is any better.  If not, I am going outside of insurance to meet with someone weekly until I get a handle on things.  The biggest trigger for me right now is I have a -crap- ton of down time by myself.  I really only have to be at my business about 12-15 hours a week and I have no real friends to just "do things with". all my "friends" are part of my business networking groups.

I'm going to ask my friend who own my favorite fashion consignment shop if I can help out around the place 1-2 days a week, even if I don't get paid.  I love the people there and they love me and I'm really happy when I visit and socialize there so what the hell.  

My sisters and I are going to sign up for weekly dance lessons as well.  

I'm so happy I have so much support and love in my life, including my soon to be ex. Even though we know we can't still be married we still want to be heavily involved in each others lives and continue to love and support each other. I have so much -crap- going so well in my world, I just have to be able to break through those pits of despair and recognize it.

Wow, I'm sorry you are going through this. Good thing you have support. Idle time is the worst for me also. I try to keep busy and think about my future plans for surgery. That helps me.

Link to comment

I sold my air compressor yesterday. I don't have 220v. in my garage and besides it really was too big for my needs. It's 6hp, 60 gallon and was given to me by BIL like 15 years ago. Anyways, a couple of guys came over to get it and I made the mistake of helping them load it. They were struggling so much just trying to carry the motor end that I had to jump in and carry the bottom. While we were moving it I overheard one of them whisper to the other Wow, she's strong. I just pretended I didn't hear anything but realized I could have outed myself by being so helpful. Then there was the fun part of watching them try to secure it to their trailer. I tried to help for a minute and decided it was best to step back, check my nails, and let the guys do their thing. I don't entirely approve of how they secured it but what do I know,  I'm just a woman.

 

Afterward, my partner and I were discussing what to do with the proceeds. I suggested she uses some of to pay our hair stylist when she comes over tonight and to go get her nails done this weekend. She immediately comes back with we'll get our nails done.  I wasn't expecting that. She had made it a point in the past that she wanted me to stay out of the salons. She felt it would rob her of her femininity if I was to get mine professionally done too.

 

Now it feel like I'm the one adapting to me being a woman. I was denied so much over the last couple years that I got used to having to fight and argue for everything that finally being supported and encouraged is throwing me off a bit.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well this morning I am going in for a female only exam, one I don't even think my wife has gotten. a mammogram.  

 

Of course, don't expect any problems. I did find out yesterday that I have a small spot on my back that my dermatologist is going to take off. So on the 20th I am going in for minor surgery, to have it removed.  

 

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Vidanjali I agree that a non threatening conversation one on one would be the best choice.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I just pretended I didn't hear anything but realized I could have outed myself by being so helpful.

 

Nah, it just means you're strong. My partner at the gym is a small cis woman. She can press more than I can (though I'm starting to catch up). Women are allowed to be strong. After about one or two years of HRT, you've got no advantage whatsoever over a cis woman (assuming female-normal T levels).

 

Girl power!

 

I need to get my nails done too. They're a disaster. I keep meaning too, but I never seem to have the time. I'd probably just wreck 'em at work anyway.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning everyone,

 

Catching up after being away is filled with highs and lows. I must say that I agree with @Bri2020this forum and the people who interact with each other is so loving and therapeutic. It can be the words of someone brand new or a senior administrator, and the advice is caring.

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Then there was the fun part of watching them try to secure it to their trailer. I tried to help for a minute and decided it was best to step back, check my nails, and let the guys do their thing. I don't entirely approve of how they secured it but what do I know,  I'm just a woman.

Heh heh.   Fun, but sometimes painful to watch.

Link to comment

Good morning, all. @Jackie C. @Elizabeth Star @Shay thanks for the feedback. You know how it is when something is unsaid and it lingers on your mind? So, I appreciate having y'all to chat with. 

 

Liz, I agree with Jackie about girl power. I've observed guys often seem impressed by physically strong ladies. And, it's more likely they thought it was hot than anything else. Enjoy the salon with your wife - how lovely! 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I sold my air compressor yesterday. I don't have 220v. in my garage and besides it really was too big for my needs. It's 6hp, 60 gallon and was given to me by BIL like 15 years ago. Anyways, a couple of guys came over to get it and I made the mistake of helping them load it. They were struggling so much just trying to carry the motor end that I had to jump in and carry the bottom. While we were moving it I overheard one of them whisper to the other Wow, she's strong. I just pretended I didn't hear anything but realized I could have outed myself by being so helpful. Then there was the fun part of watching them try to secure it to their trailer. I tried to help for a minute and decided it was best to step back, check my nails, and let the guys do their thing. I don't entirely approve of how they secured it but what do I know,  I'm just a woman

That's funny. I have an air compressor to get rid of also. It needed a head kit so my boss bought the parts, then decided it wasn't big enough to run our new bead blaster that takes 75 cfm. He gave me the old one 45 cfm, with the parts. I rebuilt the head and found out I couldn,t get a 5 hp motor to run it. it originally had a 10 hp. when it burned out we put a 15 hp 3 ph on it. I don't have 3 phase, so I geared the rpm on pump down to the slowest it would run, but it wasn't enough. This thing sells for $3500.00 used. My garage is so packed with storage and construction stuff, I can't even get to it now. One of these days i'll clean it out. I've decided it's time to slow down on remodeling an start enjoying my retirement. This house was built in 1900 and needs more work than it's worth. I already tore down and rebuilt a porch, put a second floor on my garage, and tore down the other porch and built a new bedroom in it's place. I'm getting worn out. It needs gutted, new foundation, electric, siding, windows, etc. and my wife doesn't want to move. Oh well. We have 7 people living in this house, and 3 are disabled. I've done almost all the work by myself, even concrete and block work. It's time to quit.

Sorry, I guess I just ran this story into the ground. Hope you all have a great day.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, Mammogram is done. in and out even before my appointment time. Ran by Burger King and got a crosandwich. Haven't had one in a while. Forgot how good they are.

 

I have a observation and a question. For the past year or two. I have noticed a lot of ladies from teen to maybe 30s Have a nose ring. Anyone know why? It seems to be all demographics. trend, right of passage, ????

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

 

 

I have a observation and a question. For the past year or two. I have noticed a lot of ladies from teen to maybe 30s Have a nose ring. Anyone know why? It seems to be all demographics. trend, right of passage, ????

 

Kymmie

People are adopting a lot of other cultures historic fashions. Hindi women popularized having lots of facial jewelry although most weren't piercing but removable. Nose rings years back were more of the "modern primitive" movement of lots of piercings (so not many people) but now there's a whole fashion trend of non-pierced ear and nose stuff.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I just wish people wouldn't do the tongue piercings - was in an ER years ago and someone had an infection - it wasn't pretty and it was VERY painful.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

I have a observation and a question. For the past year or two. I have noticed a lot of ladies from teen to maybe 30s Have a nose ring. Anyone know why? It seems to be all demographics. trend, right of passage, ????

My wife will be 68 soon. She's had a nose stud for about 20 years now. She has always liked Eastern Indian styles.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Shay said:

I just wish people wouldn't do the tongue piercings - was in an ER years ago and someone had an infection - it wasn't pretty and it was VERY painful.

My son did tattoos years ago. Some piercings also. He would never reccomend tongue piercings. Way too dangerous.

They say our mouth is the dirtiest part of our body.

Link to comment

Just got back from my first of three trans-related appointments today. Had my BA pre-op appointment and final measuring.  I have to say, I'm not embarrassed to show my boobs (or lack thereof) in their office for fitting and stuff but the pre surg photos were very triggering.  I had to wear their disposable "panties"  which are almost impossible to tuck with. I thought I would wear my supportive panties that holds things in well but they insisted on having to have theirs because they have a "standard" for photos.  Water under the bridge but I may bring it up with the case managers/surgeon.  I never felt like I was judged or anything and the nurse always gendered me right and treated me well but it was just an internal issue for me. (and you all know how brave I can be wearing bikinis and such. lol)

I decided to go with a 345cc "full profile" implant vs the bigger 445cc "extra full" profile.  The Extra full looked to unnatural and gave more of a conical shape where as the full profile was more rounded and looked more natural I think.  Should end up with a nice C cup that I can "dress up" with a pushup bra for maximum cleavage/va va voom look on special occasions.

 

Anyways- next up is therapy appointment for second opinion letter for vaginoplasty then on to facial electrolysis.  I may need a drink tonight. lol

 

Link to comment

I'm sorry but I need help.  I think most of you know what I'm going through, but if not...  My last love of my live has heart, GI, and other problems.  So my problem is dealing with it.  I'm drinking way too much and can't stop.  I should be there by her bed right now but am almost too drunk to call UBER

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

... the "modern primitive" movement... 

 

Yes, this! I was a big fan. (And I worked as a body piercer & tattoo artist many moons ago.) The Research book (screen shot below) quickly became a cult classic when it came out in the late 80s. It came to my attention because it featured photos and interview with Genesis P'Orridge, basically the Godparent of all industrial music (bands Throbbing Gristle & Psychic TV), with whom I was enchanted. Later in life, Gen identified as what s/he coined as "pandrogyne". S/he expressed h/er life as an artform.

 

Regarding nose rings, etc., this article quotes h/er: "One of the great things about human beings is that they impulsively and intuitively express what is inevitably next in the evolution of culture and our species. It is the ‘Other’ that we are destined to become." 

 

https://drmarkgriffiths.wordpress.com/2013/02/16/a-gender-setting-inside-the-world-of-pandrogyny/

 

AND! while looking h/er up, I learned s/he has a memoir that was published posthumously. Just ordered it & very excited to read. 

 

 

20210810_115559.jpg

Screenshot_20210810-115618_Amazon Shopping.jpg

Link to comment
1 hour ago, LaurenA said:

I'm sorry but I need help.  I think most of you know what I'm going through, but if not...  My last love of my live has heart, GI, and other problems.  So my problem is dealing with it.  I'm drinking way too much and can't stop.  I should be there by her bed right now but am almost too drunk to call UBER

 

Lauren I'm so sorry and I can feel your pain. Please, pour any alcohol you have left in the house down a drain. Pack a change of clothes, go to the hospital by uber and go to the chapel and just sit there and sober up. Doesn't matter if you're religious or not, whether you pray or meditate or anything, just know it's a safe place to just be. When you are sober, go up to her room and be with her.  Ask the nurses if there is someplace in the hospital you can sleep for a bit tonight- they often have family rooms set aside (although I'm not sure with covid).   Consider going to an AA meeting before going home- even if you don't think that's an issue, you can get some immediate support to help you from drowning your sorrows.

We're here to talk you down if you need us

Link to comment
1 hour ago, LaurenA said:

I'm sorry but I need help.  I think most of you know what I'm going through, but if not...  My last love of my live has heart, GI, and other problems.  So my problem is dealing with it.  I'm drinking way too much and can't stop.  I should be there by her bed right now but am almost too drunk to call UBER

 

 

Yes, to what @Bri2020 said. Is there someone local to you whom you can call on to support you to make sure you get to the hospital? Once you're there, your focus will be on your loved one, you won't have the chance to drink, and dumping the guilt of not being there will go a very long way. Just get yourself there. That's the focus right now. Go drink a big glass of water, eat something and get ready. One small task at a time. Just try to focus on each small thing. 

Link to comment

Love can be stronger than alchohol if you allow it to be. Let it be your strength.

Link to comment

 I am so excited as tomorrow I have my first appointment with a doctor to discuss starting HRT. this Dr works with transgender people and came highly recommended from my local transgender support group. From what I am hearing I was very lucky to get in this quickly. At 64 and now getting ready to finally live my truth. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 76 Guests (See full list)

    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • JenniferB
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Mealaini
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Ivy
    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,104
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Nicola_Atherton
    Newest Member
    Nicola_Atherton
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bobbijean
      Bobbijean
    2. Bryan
      Bryan
      (61 years old)
    3. jlw5ju
      jlw5ju
      (27 years old)
    4. ladykirabellum
      ladykirabellum
      (47 years old)
    5. Lizzie17
      Lizzie17
  • Posts

    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Free?!?!  That's insane.  I can understand perhaps mistaking somebody's well equipped garage as a business, but demanding free work is ridiculous.   My GF once remarked that while few things in life are free, butt-kickings are an exception. She offers those free-of-charge, to any who ask. A little charity helps the world go round 🤣
    • Ivy
      I had a CDL when I was working for the city.  But I let it go when I retired.  I couldn't justify paying so much just to drive myself around.
    • Ivy
      While I'm sure the "Founders" had the 30 years war, etc. on their minds, they didn't write the constitution as considering only Christian sects. The early colonists (I used the word) did mostly come from areas of "christian culture" but it's hard to reconcile some of their actions with what Christ himself taught.   Christians have a right to their beliefs, but there are a lot of American citizens that do not consider themselves "christian."  I have seen writings where the US was specifically said not to be a "Christian Nation". "The 1797 Treaty of Tripoli that sought to secure America from attacks by the so-called Barbary pirates who were Muslim made a point to say that the United States "is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.""    It shouldn't be difficult to understand why the "Christian Nationalist" movement makes some of us uncomfortable.  
    • EasyE
    • Adrianna Danielle
      She wanted it done now for free,I hate the Karen's whom are a pain in the butt
    • EasyE
      just found a cute pair of denim shorts with flowers embroidered in two places on the front ... daring myself to wear them around family today ... the flowers match the deep rose of the t-shirt I just bought... 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Not to justify it, but this is what happens when folks rely on accepting money from the government.  It just isn't secure!  When the times change and different winds blow, you find yourself coming up short on funds.  Don't trust the feds, don't trust the state.    I don't believe in separation of church and state.  I believe the USA is a Christian nation, but that Congress doesn't make an establishment of which kind of church that refers to.  Reading the writings left by the Founders (who were mostly Christian or Deist), I think it is pretty clear that they wanted to avoid the bloody Protestant vs. Catholic conflicts that had been going on in Europe for the previous 250 years.    I think one huge problem is that we've had a separation of culture and state already.  There's been an abandonment of traditional American culture, or at least a significant change in it.  People often act servile, not independent.  People seek government help rather than taking care of themselves and those around them.  Its like everybody is waiting for an answer, like baby birds in the nest chirping to have something delivered to them from up above.    To me, the federal government has two purposes - to keep foreign forces and influence out of our territory, and to tax foreign trade to protect domestic economy.  They've pretty much failed at both. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, yes!  Its how I met my two trans friends.  My husband helped to arrange jobs and housing for both of them.  And in the process, they also fell in love, and so far their relationship is going well.  I'm glad to have been part of helping out.
    • KathyLauren
      I am not sure what "it" you are asking about.  The surgery, or the increased urgency of peeing?   I haven't felt any increased urgency.  I can hold it for as long as I used to, I think.  One thing that is different is that, once I start, it is almost impossible to stop the flow.  My pelvic floor physio said I had really good control of my pelvic floor muscles, but it didn't help with that.   My goal for surgery was just to have a female body.  I think I was foreseeing the persecution that is rising now.  Part of my reasoning, though I didn't plan it out clearly in those terms, was that I would be able to pass a strip-search gender check.  I was thinking more about passing in locker rooms, but passing in police lineups may be more necessary if certain political elements get their way.  
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow.  That's crazy that somebody just comes onto your private place and starts demanding stuff.  You're absolutely right to press charges.  It seems like there's very little respect for private property these days. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, my husband has two different job titles at his company.  He's transportation manager, and also one of the project managers.  Its funny because he's got an office in the main building, and a smaller one in the transportation building, and he's rarely in either one.  He's got three site foremen who report to him, and also the shop supervisor and drivers' supervisor.  So he usually spends his days at installation sites, meeting clients, or handling all the paperwork that keeps the transportation side of the business compliant with FMCSA rules.    But he's definitely a truck driver by personality, and he taught me how to drive and helped me get my CDL.  Kind of a backup option for a job if I ever needed one.  I think this week is going to be one of those "all hands on deck" kind of occasions, so we'll probably take a load or two.  I'm looking forward to it.  Its really funny when I'm driving and we get into a truck stop.  I get out of the cab, and I get a lot of stares because of my size and looking like I'm a teenager.  And we get more stares when we share a shower.  
    • Lydia_R
      Yep, this thing is a red flag that people should be super aware of on this site.  I've been working from home exclusively for 12 years.  I'm a house cat like that, so this isn't much of a deterrent for me.  I've been venturing out into the women's restrooms a little bit lately, but as is typical of people like me, I'm just in there to do my business and get out.  I avoid that as much as I can and use those single bathrooms whenever I can.  I went over a year without going to a public restroom.  I just don't go out much.   I haven't stood to pee in 7 years now.  The idea of surgery is very, very scary for me (I wrote a book about it).  I'm likely going to do it though.  I would like some evidence from other transwomen of what it is really like.  I'm not one to take plane flights, but taking a flight for that is well justified.  Before my testosterone was blocked, there was a much larger sexual side to M->F transition.  Now sexuality plays a back seat to the idea of wanting to pee like a woman.  It's always been in my mind, but the desire for that has grown.   Respectfully, Lydia_R
    • April Marie
      Just a black skort and a yellow t-shirt with sneakers today.
    • Birdie
      Wearing my new top for my Zoom meeting today. ☺️
    • Lydia_R
      I've gotten to the point lately where I'm thinking of the extension of the separation of church and state to separation of culture and state.  Government's purpose to ensure a construct of civility.  Food, clothing, shelter and justice for the individual.  That includes the roads as far as they pertain to the distribution of food, clothing and shelter.  And "ensure" is different than "provide".   I think that there is no way to truly express yourself or have a good foundation without having a personal culture.  I like telling stories and teaching lessons through my culture, but I always hope that people don't think I'm promoting my culture beyond it just being visible as an option.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...