Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Willow]

Hey, time to get up and enjoy a cup of coffee!  Have it YOUR WAY!

 

Well, made it through another weekend.  Sold my utility trailer!  I actually have some cash in my pocket.  Now I need to prioritize how that gets spent.  A keyboard so I can learn to play.  Some new clothes.  New glasses.  Pay bills.  The only thing fun on this list is clothes.  The only thing lasting is the keyboard.  Decisions, decisions.

 

We had a nice fall weekend.  Maybe a little cooler than normal for this time of year.  But wait, it’s going to warm back up.

 

@jae bear I haven’t seen you on this topic in a while.  (Maybe I should go for the glasses). Good to see you.

 

I guess the dog needs to eat and go out. TAFN.

 

WILLOW

[KymmieL]

still feeling like kaka. woke this am with crusty eyes. I am heading to the VA shortly to get looked at. Hope get rid of this.

 

I guess it is catching up with me. I haven't been this sick in years. Even last years Covid I didn't feel this bad.

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie

[Willow]

@KymmieL take care of yourself. Get over whatever this turns out to be.  
 

Hugs

 

Willow

[Bri2020]

On 10/22/2022 at 12:03 AM, Heather Nicole said:

So I took a little leap of faith and kind of "came out" and admitted to being "transbian". He said that he'd been hearing about the term "transbian" but wasn't sure what it meant.

Made me think of this opinion piece that came out in the NYT today. Gotta say the article is a lot to unpack. Felt a little TERF-y to me. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/23/opinion/queer-gay-identity.html

On 10/21/2022 at 1:19 PM, Katie23 said:

The good news is that it is not likely Covid. The bad news is it could be RSV, which is a nasty little virus that is currently causing a lot of kids to be admitted, but can affect adults. Usual stuff: Runny nose, awful cough.

 

Ended up Flu. Just started feeling better. Pretty thankful I got vaccinated early in September so while it kicked my tail from Thur afternoon to last night, I was able to have a relatively normal day today. (not fully since still on bedrest from surgery) we have some high schools around here with a third to half the school out sick right now with it. some schools as many as 800 kids in a week out!

 

[Vidanjali]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Made me think of this opinion piece that came out in the NYT today. Gotta say the article is a lot to unpack. Felt a little TERF-y to me. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/23/opinion/queer-gay-identity.html

 

I understand Pamela Paul is known for being TERF-y  and not terribly thoughtful. 

[Ivy]

Can't read it.  Paywall.

[MirandaB]

8 hours ago, Ivy said:

Can't read it.  Paywall.

It's about people who think languages should be locked when they acquired them and never change, whining that 'queer' is being used more than 'gay' now (allegedly).

 

Don't think it mentions that of course 'gay' was a word that used to mean happy and now is only used in that context when we sing "Deck the Halls". 

[Ivy]

3 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

Looks like it might rain here today.

We could sure use some rain here.  My well is dry.  It's inconvenient.

3 hours ago, RhondaS said:

It's about people who think languages should be locked when they acquired them and never change,

Oh.   Language is interesting.  It's a really living thing.  

English in particular is a bastard language.  Or maybe a vampire? sucks in a bit of all the others.

I'm not a scholar, but it does fascinate me.

[Vidanjali]

11 hours ago, Ivy said:

Can't read it.  Paywall.

 

Same. But I saw the writer's name, and that was sufficient to confirm Bri's suspicion. 

 

3 hours ago, RhondaS said:

It's about people who think languages should be locked when they acquired them and never change, whining that 'queer' is being used more than 'gay' now (allegedly).

 

Don't think it mentions that of course 'gay' was a word that used to mean happy and now is only used in that context when we sing "Deck the Halls". 

 

Paul has also written in the recent past claiming inclusive language is "erasing" women - reducing them to body parts and function. For instance referring to "people who menstruate" to include trans men and afab nonbinary people in the context of healthcare. You can read a critical piece on that claim here if you wish: https://newrepublic.com/article/166991/pamela-paul-new-york-times-trans-great-replacement-theory

 

7 minutes ago, Ivy said:

Language is interesting.  It's a really living thing.  

English in particular is a bastard language.  Or maybe a vampire? sucks in a bit of all the others.

I'm not a scholar, but it does fascinate me.

 

Indeed! I think about this when people complain about English being used "incorrectly" - for instance mocking Black language idioms, expressions used by younger generations, or they/them as singular pronouns. I confess, I've been guilty of being a major "language snob" in my time. But, the more I learn, the more I endeavor to reserve judgment and respect expression. If language were not naturally alive, we'd all still be grunting at each other, lol. 

 

@Ivy perhaps you'll enjoy this Hidden Brain podcast about how the study of language changes the way one sees the world, and the evolution of language and why we resist. I heard it on public radio a while back and thought it was quite intriguing. https://hidden-brain.simplecast.com/episodes/watch-your-mouth-60VuDXvM

[Mandy Jo]

Being asked if I would go back to dressing as my male side at times and said no.

[KymmieL]

Well it is happening again. I stayed home today trying to get rid of this cold. So, I was on the computer when my wife got home from work.  She asked what shift did I work. When I told her that I called in. She got upset. Saying I am on my medication I should be fine.

 

About 1/2 hour later, She's like I would like your help, but it is too cold. I ask her what? Get the box of books from her back seat. I slip on my jeans and jacket and drag this box in the house.

 

I so have wanted to tell her I was sorry for being home when she got home.  I as starting to feel that she doesn't care if I am around or not.

 

So my mind is in turmoil again.

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie

[Betty_B]

good morning everyone

coffee is hot sweet and creamy ,,,, Folgers black silk , pod style

 

hrt is going well so far ,only 1 week,  to soon for any thing to happen , it dose seem my skin is smoother and a i seem moody maybe ,

more like quiet with my own thoughts in my head ,,,glad for the support of my spouse with hrt and  my transition , still confused with it  tho it doesn't seem the normal with most spouses ,,not only accepting but encouraging me to just be my self,,, there are times i think she is more excited about my change than i am ,, might be the fear of the unknown on my part ,, 

if this looks a night time ramble , might be because it is , brains are a little mushy feeling ...

 

Peace Love N Hugs

       Betty B

[MirandaB]

Good morning, 

 

Speaking of supportive spouses, the latest sign of improvement here was Mrs took me clothes shopping yesterday at  one of those bargain stores where you can find a needle in a haystack item that you might actually wear. Found a few things, had to deal with the dressing rooms being gendered, and Mrs didn't seem to be as stressed as she was the last (also, first) time we shopped this way together. 

 

Yet another example of how little it takes to make someone like me happy, getting a proper gendering or shopping together in a regular store in a different section than I used to, at some point hopefully things ilke that will just be routine. 

[Mandy Jo]

2 hours ago, RhondaS said:

Good morning, 

 

Speaking of supportive spouses, the latest sign of improvement here was Mrs took me clothes shopping yesterday at  one of those bargain stores where you can find a needle in a haystack item that you might actually wear. Found a few things, had to deal with the dressing rooms being gendered, and Mrs didn't seem to be as stressed as she was the last (also, first) time we shopped this way together. 

 

Yet another example of how little it takes to make someone like me happy, getting a proper gendering or shopping together in a regular store in a different section than I used to, at some point hopefully things ilke that will just be routine. 

My wife is the same too,she knows what I like

[Bri2020]

8 hours ago, Betty_B said:

good morning everyone

coffee is hot sweet and creamy ,,,, Folgers black silk , pod style

 

hrt is going well so far ,only 1 week,  to soon for any thing to happen , it dose seem my skin is smoother and a i seem moody maybe ,

more like quiet with my own thoughts in my head ,,,glad for the support of my spouse with hrt and  my transition , still confused with it  tho it doesn't seem the normal with most spouses ,,not only accepting but encouraging me to just be my self,,, there are times i think she is more excited about my change than i am ,, might be the fear of the unknown on my part ,, 

if this looks a night time ramble , might be because it is , brains are a little mushy feeling ...

 

Peace Love N Hugs

       Betty B

Congrats Betty!, Some of what you are feeling is just the clarity that comes with making the decision /implementing the change to being who you really are.  Physical changes take about a month or so to really start.  

I am so happy you have an encouraging spouse, it makes things easier.  Be prepared for her to have some struggles along the way though.  This next year or more everyone in your all's circle will be focusing on you and it's common for spouses to feel forgotten or ignored by friends and family.  Be sure to direct conversations and attention her way. She deserves it, it's a very special woman who can support you so fully so make sure the world knows it!  

Mine was just as supportive but after a year, we ran into some difficulties along these lines. Preemptive couples therapy is recommended. As much change as you will be going through, your relationship will be going through just as much so nurturing it from all angles is important but easy to loose sight of in all the excitement of the changes you will be experiencing.

3 hours ago, RhondaS said:

 

Yet another example of how little it takes to make someone like me happy, getting a proper gendering or shopping together in a regular store in a different section than I used to, at some point hopefully things ilke that will just be routine. 

#goals right?  Keep a journal of how you are feeling and the experiences you are going through because it will become routine and much will be forgotten in the fog of time.

 

I'm so happy for both of you!

 

[Willow]

Good hump day morning 

 

Since we are talking about wives and shopping or stressing, mine goes in and out of being supportive.  I never really know until something sets her off which one is there.  @KymmieL I understand your situation and how it seems to be negative, but I still say there is enough of a glimmer there that you should try explaining some of your needs to her.  You’ve made headway with your sons, youngest and oldest, and you’ve made advances with your wife as well.  Maybe it’s time to take baby steps and explain things like what your meds don’t do, or why you need them.  Baby steps can lead to bigger steps.  You didn’t just stand up and start marching around when you were a baby and you can’t do that now.  And don’t forget you will fall down. Just get back up and start again.

 

ok enough philosophy.  I bought a keyboard yesterday.  it is a low cost but decent Casiotone from Costco.  Now the self lessons begin.  I’ve never played a keyboard or piano before.  However, 2 years of violin and 5 years of French horn I already know most of the early lessons about reading basic music, notes, flats and sharps.  I will need to stick to the key of C, I don’t remember which notes are automatically to be read as a sharp or flat without being marked.  
 

Finding a starting point is getting tricky.  I don’t want to accidentally skip something new, but I know I will quickly become bored if I don’t find a way to skip ahead.  Like I said above, baby steps before you can run, but as adults we are all used to running and it is hard to begin anew.

 

back to Charleston today.  This time my wife has an appointment with the same doctors office.  To bad we couldn’t both schedule the same day.

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

 

[Bri2020]

I'm finally feeling almost normal!!!!  The flu totally kicked my butt, as well as my post surgical routine to the curb.  I'm trying to make an effort today to get back on track with sleep patterns and daily routine starting today.  

Revelation (?) today.

Not sure if that is the right way to express it but after all my "morning maintenance", I took a long hot shower for the first time in a week and got all my ignored shaving and stuff done. I haven't had the energy to do much more than quick rinses in the last 3 weeks.  I get out of the shower to a mildly steamed up mirror feeling so much better and when I looked at myself in the mirror I  cried! My neo-V is almost normal from an external swelling standpoint and the bruising is just mild and I can actually get my legs together now. The image of my now complete female body overwhelmed me.  I was like " oh my goddess, I am beautiful!"  It's the first time in my life I truly felt it and expressed it. (yes I took a pic but no, no one will ever see it but me). 

[Ivy]

Yes, Congratulations Bri 

[Marcie Jensen]

Congratulations, Bri. Happy for you.

[Bri2020]

4 minutes ago, Hannah Renee said:

Gotta learn to focus on what I can do, here and now, on this amazing journey.

One foot in front of the other love. That will get you there.

 

[Willow]

Hi @Bri2020  so happy for you!

[Davie]

So happy for you and all your hard work for this result  @Bri2020

— Davie

[Mmindy]

Good afternoon everyone,

 

@Bri2020your advice on keeping the spouse/partner involved was spot on. Congratulations on reaching your very privet mile-marker in the mirror this morning.

 

@Willow your points were equally spot on, and like you. I never know where I stand with my wife, it's a pendulum that swings back and forth in slow motion, and no ability to predict when it will revers directions.

 

@KymmieL keep moving forward, understand that if you're sick, and unable to work. There are two calls you need to make. One to your employer. The second is to your financial and household partner, your wife. They both deserve to know how you are feeling, and how to cover for your absence at work, as well as your lost wages.  

 

@Betty_B & @RhondaS I'm so happy for you two and the support you are feeling from your partners.

 

Hugs for everyone,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋 

[MirandaB]

19 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

 

#goals right?  Keep a journal of how you are feeling and the experiences you are going through because it will become routine and much will be forgotten in the fog of time.

 

I'm so happy for both of you!

 

 

I have been keeping a version of a journal by posting here and elsewhere and then every once in a while collecting the appropriate content from the latest batch of posts and compiling them in a (long and always growing) document. 

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, RhondaS said:

 

I have been keeping a version of a journal by posting here and elsewhere and then every once in a while collecting the appropriate content from the latest batch of posts and compiling them in a (long and always growing) document. 

I thought about doing the same.  I started a blog here but just never kept up with it. I really was only inspired to write when I was in crisis mostly. lol