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KymmieL

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9 hours ago, JustineM said:

took advantage of being curled up on the couch today to start a coming out letter to my Mom. My amazing sister is helping me with proof reading and advice. Did I mention she is awesome?

That's sounds like a good weekend, shopping isn't always buying. I'm so happy your sister is on your side.

 

Good morning everyone, the coffee is Hot, Black, and Strong.

 

I want to thank everyone for posting and sharing your experiences and advice. I don't respond very often, however I'm reading, and learning as I move through the very processes of transition.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🌈🦋

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@Mmindy glad you are reading our posts.  Sometimes it’s just coffee chatter and sometimes it’s advice or questions but it’s always inclusive.  No one ever has to post just take what you need leave what you can when you want.

 

Hugs

 

 willow

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3 hours ago, Willow said:

Sometimes it’s just coffee chatter and sometimes it’s advice or questions but it’s always inclusive.  No one ever has to post just take what you need leave what you can when you want.

 

Hugs

 

 willow

@Willow I couldn't have said it better myself. As the starter of this thread. That is exactly how I wanted it seen as.

 

Was up at the butt crack of dawn this morning. O dark 30. I usually go in early because I have to get the out going freight ready for pick up tonight. I like to have it done before the store opens. I close Tues and Weds. the the weekend.

 

I guess I am doing eh. things are good at home. I'm the one that is eh. I hope and pray that I will be able to get on HRT. With my T level at 21 ( normal 300+) with nothing to replace it. I feel that I am on the road to nowhere. At times I wish I was normal and didn't feel this way. But yam what yam to quote Popeye. My breast forms and hair are still in a box in the back of the truck. Haven't touched them since I brought them home. I just wonder if I would happy if I were dead. No I am not looking to do the big S. just a thought.

 

Hugs

 

Kymmie

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Heather Nicole
18 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I just wonder if I would happy if I were dead. No I am not looking to do the big S. just a thought.

 

For what it's worth, I don't think you'd be happy with that. One of the big things I eventually learned to tell myself during my "don't want to be alive" period I went through is this:

 

Being dead is the surest way to guarantee you can never get what you want out of life.

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1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

Being dead is the surest way to guarantee you can never get what you want out of life.

Heather you are so correct. 

 

It is just that it is so hard. Living two lives. I wish for some thing to happen. Don't know what? I am just I don't even know. 

 

Kymmie 

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

It is just that it is so hard. Living two lives. I wish for some thing to happen. Don't know what? I am just I don't even know. 

 

You are absolutely right. It's hard. Waiting for something to happen might never pay off though. Figure out what you WANT to have happen, then take the steps to MAKE it happen. You deserve to be happy, but nobody else can make you that way. You need to figure out what will make you happy with yourself and your situation. Maybe not perfectly happy but start with what will make you happier. Once you work that out, find what will make you happier still and so on and so forth until you find your happy place. Or at least your contented place.

 

Hugs!

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@KymmieL I went a really bad period in September.  Same feeling why am I here, nobody is happy, wife tries to be supportive but goes through periods of I don’t like this I didn’t or wouldn’t have married you if I’d known, and many more .  I’m certain you’ve heard them all.  
 

And like you I really wasn’t interested in “the big S” just give me a fatal heart attack or something.  I hadn’t needed therapy for 18 months but I’m back in therapy now.

 

Anyway, there have been things in your life recently that suggest you are progressing on the journey you need.  My point is I understand how difficult it can be, I’m right there with you.  I also live two lives but I really cherish the time I get to spend as Willow.  I tried to come out at my church as Willow.  I went several weeks.  Then all of a sudden my wife switched her position from I should go to it upset her.  
 

so hang in there take what you can when you can and don’t fight about what you can’t change.  
 

Hugs

 

Willow

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Hey everyone 

 

Im so happy I’m pregnant with fraternal twin boobies.  Not the same size and did not start at the same time but they are there.

 

ok sorry about the dad humor.  But I do have signs of growth activity.  Discomfort and swelling under the nipples..

 

Willow

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1 hour ago, Willow said:

 But I do have signs of growth activity.  Discomfort and swelling under the nipples..

That's always nice to realize when it happens!

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2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Waiting for something to happen might never pay off though. Figure out what you WANT to have happen, then take the steps to MAKE it happen. You deserve to be happy, but nobody else can make you that way. You need to figure out what will make you happy with yourself and your situation. Maybe not perfectly happy but start with what will make you happier

 

@KymmieL THAT right there. Take the reins You can do it 💪

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@KymmieL I agree with the ladies here - I am fortunately on HRT now but my T has done so much damage to this 68 year old body and the E has barely made physical differences in 4 months - but inside and emotional I am very happy. It's hard in so many ways when you are in-between or unless - therapy and the ladies here help me so much when I'm down and without them I'd be lost. You have such a wonderful resource have and advice the comes from empathy and understanding. Listen to them and give yourself a break. You never asked to have this be the condition you have but with our help you reaching out - we will figure this out and help each other - TOGETHER.

Hugs,

 

Heather Shay

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Good morning Y’all

 

Chilly here this week. Of course I know it would still feel like a heat wave to some.  
 

Not much happening otherwise just have my wake-up brew.  Seems surprisingly quiet on the forum. Nothing showing since yesterday is unusual.  Guess no one had anything to say.

 

Have a good day

 

 Willow

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Thank you all. I needed it.

 

Well HUMP DAAAAAYYYYYY.  Most specifically my Friday. Have speech therapy tomorrow. Then my Endo appointment on Friday. I was able to change it to Telehealth. Now I don't have to drive to Denver and probably get stuck in Friday traffic on the way home.  I hope to be put on HRT.  🤞🤞 I sent my latest lab results down.

 

Kymmie

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Chilly here too.

 

I had been planning on a trip up to Virginia with my daughter to see my son's new baby.   But it looks like I'll be staying home with all this new corona stuff going on.

 

I do have a phone check-up with my endocrinologist this afternoon.  I'm thinking about asking if we could add progesterone this time. 

 

It is a nice sunny day here.

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3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Thank you all. I needed it.

 

Well HUMP DAAAAAYYYYYY.  Most specifically my Friday. Have speech therapy tomorrow. Then my Endo appointment on Friday. I was able to change it to Telehealth. Now I don't have to drive to Denver and probably get stuck in Friday traffic on the way home.  I hope to be put on HRT.  🤞🤞 I sent my latest lab results down.

 

Kymmie

 

Fingers crossed @KymmieL! Another trans friend of mine got hers this week. Let's keep the streak alive!

 

Hugs!

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Erica Gabriel
13 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Thank you all. I needed it.

 

Well HUMP DAAAAAYYYYYY.  Most specifically my Friday. Have speech therapy tomorrow. Then my Endo appointment on Friday. I was able to change it to Telehealth. Now I don't have to drive to Denver and probably get stuck in Friday traffic on the way home.  I hope to be put on HRT.  🤞🤞 I sent my latest lab results down.

 

Kymmie

Congrats, Kymmie. This fellow Coloradan hopes to follow in your footsteps soon.

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ElizabethStar

My sister called me out of blue tonight. I had talked to her about 6 months ago and told her I was transitioning but I didn't really want to get into any details at the time. We talked for about an hour tonight, probably the longest conversation we've had in 20 years. Turns out she's extremely supportive. Said I'm the sister she always wanted and is going to share all her beauty tips she's learned over the years. Especially how to deal our (as it now is) frizzy straw-like hair. Also turns out the allergies I've seemed to develop are common among the women in our family.

 

 

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17 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I hope to be put on HRT.

 

Crossing fingers for you Kymmiel!

 

@ElizabethStar That's wonderful. I'm so glad for you. For me, I didn't know how much it was weightinging me down until I told my mother and sister and they were supportive and a huge weight I didn't know I was carrying lifted up.

 

Tea was hot, I may go for my second mug now.

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Good morning everyone 

 

Dark roast black coffee and DONUTS! today.  I went to the store without my wife last night.  She should never let that happen.  I walked past them once but couldn’t manage twice.

 

another cold start today then going up to 60, higher tomorrow and all weekend.  That’s the thing about the weather here, it never stays cold or anything other than hot and humid for long.  
 

@ElizabethStar so glad your sister is supportive.  It's always great when family is by your side.  My daughter in law is supporting but my wife and kids are wishy washy at best.  My wife and I talk about it but she goes from supportive and helpful to hating it.  My kids (in their 40s) complained I didn’t keep them informed, but when I do, they say nothing.  So, you are very fortunate to have your sister.  Cherish every moment.  
 

Willow

 

 

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@ElizabethStarthat is great to hear your sister is so supportive. I just hope mine is when I finally tell her. I would hope that the conversation would be as long or longer. As me and my sister have never been close. We were always on the opposite sides. She was the partier and got everything. Me I was a nobody and had to buy everything. Oh, Well.

 

Yesterday was nice and warm being I had to work. Today forecast to be 20 degrees colder with rain and snow tonight and tomorrow. Just my luck. Just going to relax today. (if I can) need to catch up on last nights, Masked singer.

 

Everybody have a wonderful day. Hugs to all.

 

Kymmie

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