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KymmieL

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I was at the Annapolis Royal Pride parade yesterday.  It is a pretty big event for such a small town.  It was nice to see everyone being colourful and all the support.

20230708_131646-1000px.jpg

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13 hours ago, Birdie said:

Thanks hun! 💞

I take that as a major compliment coming from a fashion expert as yourself. 😉

Dressing up sure makes a girl feel better 💞💋💞

 

Birdie💞

 

 

Awww, it's so kind of you to say that! 🥰

 

Mychal💕

 

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15 hours ago, Birdie said:

Good afternoon,

 

Just back from the mall and I'm out in the apartment lobby. I was met by a neighbor that made it "very clear to me" that she gave all her Disney memorabilia away because Disney supports trans people and as she put it, "they are all pedophiles".  

 

I had such a nice day window shopping today only to have some ignorant neighbor come get in mypop face and ruin it. 😐

 

Birdie

Girl,

The best response is to let your personal goodness shine and let the glow from your heart make those 💩y people look away, embarrassed by their own intolerant behavior.

Mychal🥰

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2 minutes ago, Mychal said:

Girl,

The best response is to let your personal goodness shine and let the glow from your heart make those 💩y people look away, embarrassed by their own intolerant behavior.

Mychal🥰

I did response smiling ☺️

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7 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

What a weekend 🙄. I've been stuck looking after GF's kids all night and day.  I love them, but I am worn out enough that I think it may be a good thing that I can't reproduce.  I'm out of patience. 

 

Five little blonde carbon copies of her....today I can't see how they got any genes from their father.  While GF is hanging out with her crazy friends and making mischief, her offspring do the same.  No idea how I can possibly keep them in line when they're older. 😭

I hear you! Maybe it's time to stop being "Aunt Patience", put on "Tough Aunt" stripes and ground those "kiddies" in their rooms while their momma goes out cattin'? They will either learn to behave around you, or complain to their momma that you're no fun.

 

But that's just my old school Jesuit school training talking.

 

Mychal🥰🤗

 

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@RhondaS It is so sad what the teen are going through these days.  I help with a group of teen who are going through gender dysphoria.  Some are pretty well adjusted and some are struggling.  It helps them to be with others and be able to talk and learn. Their parents meet at the same time and place but separately.

 

I have also done what I can to help some individual families who have children in need of help.  But my knowledge is limited to the area where I live.  Do check on Facebook for a NJ state wide group and join it. Then post asking for resources.  Someone will answer. These are usually closed groups so they vet people before granting membership 

 

Willow

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1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

I was at the Annapolis Royal Pride parade yesterday.  It is a pretty big event for such a small town.  It was nice to see everyone being colourful and all the support.

20230708_131646-1000px.jpg

 

Very nice Kathy 🙂

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8 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

No idea how I can possibly keep them in line when they're older

It would probably be a loosing game

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3 hours ago, Mychal said:

I hear you! Maybe it's time to stop being "Aunt Patience", put on "Tough Aunt" stripes and ground those "kiddies" in their rooms while their momma goes out cattin'? They will either learn to behave around you, or complain to their momma that you're no fun.

 

But that's just my old school Jesuit school training talking.

 

Mychal🥰🤗

 

Oh, I wish! 

 

Normally, I have help from my husband and other partners, but everybody was busy.  Husband was out with the all the older kids, leaving me pretty much by myself with GF's bunch.  At one point I did try to corral them in their rooms, but the oldest two were impossible to catch.  And while I was trying to get them, two of the toddlers figured out hiding spots.  And of course, when my other partners come back, they pretend to be little angels.  Thankfully my husband isn't fooled.  He's not really one to hand out spankings, but the eldest one was pretty close to getting spanked. 

 

I've got a lot of experience with the rest of the kids, but GF's are a totally different breed.  Clever, devious, and strongwilled....like their mother.  I didn't know my GF when she was a teenager, but my husband says that she is "much calmer" now.  If her current demeanor is considered "calm," the thought of five copies of her in adolescence is apocalyptic.     

 

 

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These past few days have been extremely hard. My estrogen patches have worn off. The VA was supposed to send them in June. I have had to push the patches past their time. I have never felt so down and out in my life. I sent messages and hopefully get something back. My depression and gender dysphoria have never been so high. I feel lost. I want to cry and I can't. It's worse than what it was before. Good news is I don't have any thoughts of harming myself which I kind of think it's mostly due to my kids. I don't know how to feel or what to think of. I feel so clouded. My ex saw a puppy on the side of the road and guess who got it? I can't afford a dog and the kids at first wanted to keep it but are realizing how bad they can be. Scratching. I got to go to the animal shelter because I think the dog might've gotten out. He has a collar but no id tag though. He isn't fixed though. I'm hoping I get my estrogen soon. It's not fair to give me life saving medication and then stop it. I have no one else that would even think I'm going through. They don't even think this is life saving. They think you just grin and bear it but they have never experienced depression as I have. I tried dressing cute. It helped a little bit but not enough to take the edge off. 

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1 hour ago, Ashley0616 said:

These past few days have been extremely hard. My estrogen patches have worn off. The VA was supposed to send them in June. I have had to push the patches past their time. I have never felt so down and out in my life. I sent messages and hopefully get something back. My depression and gender dysphoria have never been so high. I feel lost. I want to cry and I can't. It's worse than what it was before. Good news is I don't have any thoughts of harming myself which I kind of think it's mostly due to my kids. I don't know how to feel or what to think of. I feel so clouded. My ex saw a puppy on the side of the road and guess who got it? I can't afford a dog and the kids at first wanted to keep it but are realizing how bad they can be. Scratching. I got to go to the animal shelter because I think the dog might've gotten out. He has a collar but no id tag though. He isn't fixed though. I'm hoping I get my estrogen soon. It's not fair to give me life saving medication and then stop it. I have no one else that would even think I'm going through. They don't even think this is life saving. They think you just grin and bear it but they have never experienced depression as I have. I tried dressing cute. It helped a little bit but not enough to take the edge off. 

Oh my girl, I hope they get your taken care of soon. 

 

💞Hugs💞

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46 minutes ago, Birdie said:

Oh my girl, I hope they get your taken care of soon. 

 

💞Hugs💞

Thank you I need it. I have bad insomnia now. I drank two glasses of red wine. I also have had sleep aid as well. Maybe if I lie in a dark cool room I can finally get some sleep. I have never felt this bad and I don't want to be admitted to the psych ward because they won't do anything. I won't get to dress up nor see my kids. I have been there twice and I felt worse there than being out. Everything is scripted. I could easily read a script myself and make sure I take my meds when I'm supposed to. I lied just to get out of there. It feels like they don't care you are just another person to watch. I hate it there. I wished the VA was on top of their game and refill the medication when I specifically asked for it. I wouldn't be in the hell I'm in now. My self worth is very little. I have never been this bad off. Not even from a deployment. My family doesn't understand anything I'm going through because they think this is just a phase or they have no idea how to support me. This forum is all I got on people who can understand. Even then I still have doubts. Everyone thinks on how lucky I have it not working and getting paid disability. I wished I was born female because I wouldn't have to at least go through all the hormone mess. I felt like I could function and be a normal human and then the VA pulls a stunt and doesn't get my refill delivered when it's supposed to. Apparently they don't seem to care. I'm also coming to terms with no decent woman wants to date me. They only want my money and then their are the ones that sparks light up and butterflies in my stomach feeling only to be let down. I want to believe love is out there but I'm tired of all the heartbreaking. I'm just dealing with so much. I want to believe in miracles but I haven't seen one other than my kids. I'm sorry I'll quit complaining. It just sucks because I have no one to talk to. I can't tell my kids. I already talked about family. I have a soon to be ex that doesn't care. My faith in people is shot. I don't even trust my own Dad. He still hasn't admitted what he did was wrong and apologized. I have prayed and prayed. I just feel like there isn't any out. I guess this is what hormones do. I hope and pray they don't pull this crap again. 

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12 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I was born female because I wouldn't have to at least go through all the hormone mess.

Oh hun, I understand the hormone issues. I'm not on HRT, but I am going through hormone fluctuations right now. Night sweats and hot flashes, crying for no specific reason, and mood swings. It is no easy ride!

 

My doctor might put me on low doses of estrogen and progesterone soon to address things, but lately I have been using flax seed smoothies to calm my symptoms. 

 

I take 3 tablespoons of ground Flaxseed, 2 cups of strawberries, 2 diet sugars packs, 2 tablespoons of protein powder, and enough low fat milk to blend the smoothie in my blender. I try to get one smoothie a day, and if I miss it I get a horrible hot flash right away. 

 

It's not a replacement for HRT, but might take the edge off a bit. 

 

💞Hugs💞

 

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Good morning everyone!! Another day of "April in Drag" begins.....UGH. But, my struggle is nowhere as bad as others so now that I've vented.....

 

@Ashley0616 - I am so sorry you're struggling. I understand how hard the depression can hit you. Do you get your prescriptions from your local VA or are they mailed through Express Scripts? Are you working with a therapist? My therapist has been a lifesaver and life changer for me in working my way through the stresses and the process of managing how transition looks for me. She's also someone I can reach out to and just having her there to talk to during our sessions means someone "sees" and understands me. If your local VA isn't providing proper service, you might also reach out to your federal Representative and Senators. Having them send a congressional inquiry might push the VA to get off its butt. Hang in there, sweety. If nothing else, we're here for you to vent to.

 

I hope you're feeling better @Birdie!! I'm learning that joint pain is now my way of knowing I'm still alive. 🙂

 

Be safe, everyone, and remember to find the goodness in this beautiful day!!!

 

I'm off to take care of some family business....and dream of wearing a skort and blouse instead of shorts and a t-shirt.

 

 

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@Ashley0616I get my HRT from the VA too.  I haven't really had any problems with refills myself.   I order them by phone before they run out.  I have gotten anxious a couple of times, but they did come.  One time the Rx ran out before my appointment.  I called and my Primary Care Dr wrote a Rx to cover me.

I also have a VA therapist that I meet online.

And we have a transgender support group that meets twice per month.  You can attend online or in person.  I try to go in person although it's an hour & half drive.

Hang in there, you do have friends here.

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@Ashley0616 I know exactly where you are coming from with the VA and estrogen. I put in my refill. then I get a call. They cannot ship to separate address. I tell them to ship it to my AOR. Later that day I get another call. Same shipping -CENSORED-. I tell him the same. Then I ask him to send a larger bore needle as the ones prescribed are the smallest available and with the E is a thick med. He said OK. I am thinking my meds are on the way. I get the package and all I get was needles. No syringes or most important no E. I PM the pharmacy. Talk to your DR. they say.  So I PM my Endo and here we are. Still No meds. At least I still have my vile of meds.  And today is shot day. My dysphoria and depression is always rearing its ugly head. I can have one thought and I am tearing up. I know, girlfriend.

 

Well, we are leaving tonight for MI. It is mentally easier to drive through Nebraska at night. Plan on having breakfast with my oldest and family tomorrow morning. Then hit the road again.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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Good morning.  Lots off coffee flowing this morning.  
 

Ashley. I hope you get this resolved soon. Just keep the good thoughts alive. Do you things to help. Self care.  Hair nails soothing baths.    Take care of yourself and this should all work out soon I hope.  
 

 

have a good day all

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Good morning everyone:coffee::coffee:

 

My second cup of coffee, while catching up with e-mails and other social platforms.

 

My wife and I attended a 60th Wedding Anniversary for my mother's step brother and his wife. While he isn't a true blood relative, they have always been a positive influence on our family. I wore a sea foam colored shirt with bright pink flamingos, black shorts, women's saddles, and my hair was curly. I used pride rainbow sunglasses as a headband. My finger nails are longer than any man would keep them, high gloss, and clean underneath giving me a french nail look. My toes are still light purple and complemented by the saddles. Silver and turquoise rings on all ten fingers, my watch is a thin band of silver and turquoise as well. Everyone loved my outfit, especially my lesbian cousin, and her partner. (I'm out to them) My lesbian niece also complemented me on my look. (out to her too).

This was a big event held at a reception venue, and we had seating assignments by family or friendship associated to the Couple of Connor. My sister who has disowned me and her lesbian daughter was seated right next to me. She was straining, but did complement my nails and rings. Others would come up to me from behind wanting to know who the lady was talking to so & so. It was a good night, and I'm sure I left more people thinking about my changes. I hope some of them come to their own acceptance of the LGBTQIA community because of the fun we had together. 

 

Hugs for everyone,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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@Ashley0616 Is getting your stuff shipped the only choice?  I'm not familiar with the VA, but they seem to be even more inefficient than other healthcare providers.  My husband's mother was a doctor in the Army, and later for the VA....I think a lot of the staff hate the system as much as the patients.  Is it possible to get something temporary from a local doctor?  Some quick clinics in my area will prescribe a 2 week or 1-month supply of something if you have proof of what your regular prescription is and let them know that your regular provider is being late. 

 

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Thank you @Birdie

 

@April Marie they haven't found me a gender therapist yet. I'm working with a regular therapist but he has no idea what I'm going through. There are only two gender therapists and neither of them is taking new patients. Thank you cause no one has any empathy or sympathy because they can't comprehend what I have and am going through. The funny thing is my ex that I had kids with is more concerned about me with testosterone levels. I reassured her they do monitor it. She doesn't know about my estrogen and that only just feed the fire. 

 

@Ivy Oh I put it in when I opened my last box. At the latest it should've been a week but it passed more than two weeks. It wasn't in the mail today. 

 

@KymmieL yeah it's sad I just wished they had better employees. Today for instance I got Juardiance which I never even asked for but I can't get something I asked for over two and a half weeks?

 

@Tiffany 838 I hope so. As every day passes it just seems to get worse. The patch was definitely passed it's use and I just took it off. The USPS said it was supposed to be here today but it didn't. Unless there's another truck which I can only hope for. 

 

@awkward-yet-sweet it's how the VA does refills. Your first medication unless you see them on video chat is done at the pharmacy but I feel like I have gotten to the point where I just want to plead and pick it up. I'll as for the refill after the first box because I know they won't do it as soon as I get the medication. 

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2 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

Oh I put it in when I opened my last box.

I was told to put in for the refill shortly after I got the meds.  You don't have to wait till they get low.

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Ashley, you can go to your VA pharmacy and get the script refilled at anytime if you run low or run out as long as you have refills left for that script. I do it all the time when I forget to order them in time.

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I found that I put in for my refill of my E on June 18th. Still haven't gotten it almost a month later. Now I get a message from my Endo. they are back ordered on the E i take so she is getting me something else. Still have to wait.

 

Very rarely do they ship from the Cheyenne VA. Mine normally come from Kansas city. As they rather ship from the warehouse.  So looks like I am going to have a mail box full when I get home next week.

 

Kymmie

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Good morning, everyone. Another day of "April in Drag" begins. I was out early to get blood drawn for my upcoming physician's appointment. Back now and catching up on my coffee fix. Since I cut the grass the other day, I think I'll just lay by the pool and read my book today. 

 

Mentally, I'm treading water with the dysphoria as I focus on a day at a time until Sunday when I can re-emerge. Actually, I have a little time carved out tomorrow for my therapy session where I can be myself in the privacy of our bedroom away from family. Over the years, I've learned not to wish time away....but right about now, I'd skip right to tomorrow if I could. 

 

I have found that having my hair growing out has been a blessing - it is so much easier to see myself looking back in the mirror now no matter what clothes I'm wearing. 

 

Enough whining. We all have our challenges. But, it does help to vent here with people who understand.

 

Be safe and look for the goodness in this beautiful day!!!

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