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KymmieL

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3 hours ago, Ivy said:

Congratulations.

In NC you can change gender on your ID (drivers license) without a court order, just a form from your health care provider.  The name change needs a court order though.

Yeah they used to do the form from the provider but it was quick and easy. They just modified my paperwork to change my name. I'm looking forward to the sixth. 

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4 hours ago, MaybeRob said:

@Ashley0616

 

Great news! That was quicker than I expected. Our legal systems take a lot longer for processing anything. Guess it because of our convict past :P

 

Hugs

 

MaybeRob

 

 

Thank you! I think it helped because it was a simple adjustment on the form. 

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I just wanna say, I like the word, "Y'all."  It is such a good gender-neutral plural term of address.  I went garage-saling this morning in town with my sister and my friend.  One lady clearly had a moment of hesitation addressing us, not knowing what to make of our trio (a lesbian, a trans girl, me as androgynous/intersex/trans).  I could tell for a moment she wanted to say "ladies," but used "y'all" instead.  So nice that she didn't just assume what I am. 🙃  

 

 

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When I was sure. I would address people with Folks. It seems gender neutral. 

 

Me and wife maybe upgrading vehicles shortly. Since we got the 94 Explorer. my wife has said that we should get a toter. Something bigger to tow a trailer. When we went out this AM for breakfast we swung by the Ford dealer. We saw some used Expeditions we liked. Once we got home. I checked there web site. They have a whole lot more. I found the one I like. A brand new 2023 Ford Expedition Timberline. The timberline is Ford's new name for the FX4 package. It is in a pretty Green. We will see either tomorrow or Wed.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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Hi,

 

Had a really good day today. Went to meet a friend for coffee wearing a skirt, which I haven't done before. It went really well and felt great to get out showing the true me. My friend was very understanding and didn't draw attention to it, which is what I wanted really. Such a good feeling. I noticed there was a few odd looks towards .e, mostly from men, but nothing like what I was imagining in my head.

 

I've been for a swim and to see family.

 

Hope everyone else has had a good weekend too.

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Well the woman who I thought was going to be my girlfriend asked for money and I told her no. She then tried to me look bad. I’m going to give this one more chance and won’t try again for a long time. I made a dating profile on Facebook and going to hit the bars just to socialize for the first time in I couldn’t tell you when. I did some retail therapy and got four dresses but only three fit. Thank goodness there’s a return policy. 

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

When I was sure. I would address people with Folks. It seems gender neutral. 

 

Me and wife maybe upgrading vehicles shortly. Since we got the 94 Explorer. my wife has said that we should get a toter. Something bigger to tow a trailer. When we went out this AM for breakfast we swung by the Ford dealer. We saw some used Expeditions we liked. Once we got home. I checked there web site. They have a whole lot more. I found the one I like. A brand new 2023 Ford Expedition Timberline. The timberline is Ford's new name for the FX4 package. It is in a pretty Green. We will see either tomorrow or Wed.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

Very nice. 

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Well, things are happening for you all - some good some bad.

 

@Ashley0616 it's unfortunate, but the internet has more scammers than genuine people. Just be careful and go slow and safe. 

 

@KymmieL Nothing like a new car! 

 

@kira_kSomething I haven't been brave enough to do yet. Envy you

 

 

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One sleep to go till new doctor's appointment.  Will be travelling to South Melbourne, about 45 min drive. I'm very excited and also extremely nervous. I wish my voice was settled - when nervous I sound like a teen whose voice is breaking.  The voice is the barrier to attending appointments as Kate. 

 

I am finding my mental state is deteriorating with the delays. I just hope there aren't too many more. Clothes shopping did alleviate the stress, but I have to stop to ensure and out of pocket expenses are covered. Being the end of financial year at the same time is sort of bad timing! Sales everywhere lol. 

 

Hugs

 

MaybeRob

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2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I would address people with Folks. It seems gender neutral. 

I like "People" too.

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2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Me and wife maybe upgrading vehicles shortly.

I'm thinking about this as well.  But I want to go with a Subaru I think.  Been looking at Car Max online.    I got my accord from them years ago.  It's got 280k+ on it now.  Still runs fine, but has some dings and other issues.  I don't need a big vehicle and the Crosstrek have AWD which could be useful in situations.

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21 minutes ago, Ivy said:

I like "People" too.

Indeed!  Both "folks" and "people" are good, and commonly used for addressing a mixed-gender group. Far better than "guys" or something centered on one gender.  I've noticed that my husband has changed his form of address over the last year.  He used to use "ladies and gentlemen" but I think that has quietly gone away because of me being somewhat in the middle. 😏

 

We finally got our clothing figured out for Independence Day! I'm excited to go, but not sure how I will be accepted in public.  I've gone with an androgynous, vaguely Asian style jacket and pants.  A bit of embroidery.  We finished the last bits on my partner's dress, and she's gorgeous 😍.  Due to her need to cover scars, we went with a long-sleeved Victorian look.  Although, unlike Victorian styles her dress is more slim instead of ruffly.  Cute lace at the collar and cuffs, and pretty gloves.  I hope this event helps rebuild her confidence so we can get her out of the house more.  She's too cute to stay hidden...  

 

 

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2 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Indeed!  Both "folks" and "people" are good, and commonly used for addressing a mixed-gender group. Far better than "guys" or something centered on one gender.  I've noticed that my husband has changed his form of address over the last year.  He used to use "ladies and gentlemen" but I think that has quietly gone away because of me being somewhat in the middle. 😏

 

We finally got our clothing figured out for Independence Day! I'm excited to go, but not sure how I will be accepted in public.  I've gone with an androgynous, vaguely Asian style jacket and pants.  A bit of embroidery.  We finished the last bits on my partner's dress, and she's gorgeous 😍.  Due to her need to cover scars, we went with a long-sleeved Victorian look.  Although, unlike Victorian styles her dress is more slim instead of ruffly.  Cute lace at the collar and cuffs, and pretty gloves.  I hope this event helps rebuild her confidence so we can get her out of the house more.  She's too cute to stay hidden...  

 

 

Those outfits sound fun 💞

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On 6/30/2023 at 6:56 PM, Ashley0616 said:

I cut the grass in the afternoon which the heat index was really bad but it had to get done. I then did a major purchase. I ordered 21 dresses, 7 skorts, 15 tops, 4 skirts, and a swimsuit.


Wow, that is a lot 😄 I do like a good skort though. I think I prefer skirts to dresses. You've got a good selection though ☺️ Enjoy!

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7 hours ago, MaybeRob said:

One sleep to go till new doctor's appointment. 


Good luck with the appointment

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Good morning, everyone!! I haven't had much time to catch up here - family visiting and lots going on so my online time is limited. 

 

I'm pretty much stuck in "April in Drag" mode for a few weeks and the dysphoria is hammering hard at me. I'm just trying to stay focused on positive thoughts, seeing the "real me" when I look in the mirror and staying in and enjoying the moment.

 

Stay safe, take care of yourselves and remember to look for the goodness in this beautiful day we've been given!!!

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57 minutes ago, April Marie said:

Good morning, everyone!! I haven't had much time to catch up here - family visiting and lots going on so my online time is limited. 

 

I'm pretty much stuck in "April in Drag" mode for a few weeks and the dysphoria is hammering hard at me. I'm just trying to stay focused on positive thoughts, seeing the "real me" when I look in the mirror and staying in and enjoying the moment.

 

Stay safe, take care of yourselves and remember to look for the goodness in this beautiful day we've been given!!!

You are so lovely to think of others.
 

Also,  I recall that feeling.  Like the person I saw and was inside was different from the person I thought I was expected to be or others needed me to be or that others saw in me. 
 

I used to picture the mirror as a door I could walk through 

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11 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

Well the woman who I thought was going to be my girlfriend asked for money and I told her no. She then tried to me look bad. I’m going to give this one more chance and won’t try again for a long time. I made a dating profile on Facebook and going to hit the bars just to socialize for the first time in I couldn’t tell you when. I did some retail therapy and got four dresses but only three fit. Thank goodness there’s a return policy. 

I to am on a dating site it is match,  have had a couple of suspicious ones dropped them right off, good luck and be safe

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Good morning everyone:coffee::coffee:

 

We have light rain this morning, and I'm really glad I did my heavy yard work yesterday.

My business partner is in town, and we're going to breakfast here in a few minutes. My hair is wet and curly, my finger nails have a bright shinny finish, and my toes nails are glossy jell coat in a light purple color, my sandals show them off beautifully. Lets see where this goes.

 

Hugs for you all aka Y'all,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋💖

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Good morning, Y'all!

 

Just wanted to share the lovely news that yesterday my wife (during a telephone conversation with her younger sister) bragged about my womanly shapely legs and hourglass shape! Told her that I had legs any woman would die for, and that women's pants fit me perfectly!

 

Hugs,

❤️ Mychal ❤️

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2 minutes ago, Mychal said:

Good morning, Y'all!

 

Just wanted to share the lovely news that yesterday my wife (during a telephone conversation with her younger sister) bragged about my womanly shapely legs and hourglass shape! Told her that I had legs any woman would die for, and that women's pants fit me perfectly!

 

Hugs,

❤️ Mychal ❤️

How wonderful to be accepted like that.  Did she tell her your bra size?  I wish my bust was as full as yours looked in that pic you posted. 

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1 hour ago, SamC said:

You are so lovely to think of others.
 

Also,  I recall that feeling.  Like the person I saw and was inside was different from the person I thought I was expected to be or others needed me to be or that others saw in me. 
 

I used to picture the mirror as a door I could walk through 

Thank you! I do try to keep focused on the positive - lifting others lifts me as well.

 

Working with my therapist has been a blessing. She's helped me find ways to see myself no matter how I'm presenting. Growing out my hair, having my ears pierced and some other hidden ways I can envision/feel feminine keep me grounded. These long stretches are a challenge, though. The urge to put on a skort and blouse is huge right now. 😄

 

The mirror allows me to see into my eyes - into my soul - and I know who is really there now. 

 

Again, thank you for the words of encouragement and the example you set.

 

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In another post, you mentioned you are six months into your journey. First, congratulations.  Second, although you can see your true self in the mirror, at six months, it is natural to worry about keeping hold of, and moving towards, what you see.

 

After five years of HRT, I still worry. And I am dependent on the estradiol to keep up my estrogen levels, and the casodex to keep down my testosterone.  My physical, mental, and emotional state in harmony with my mind and soul.

 

i have not yet had any surgeries, so no vaginoplasty or FFS, but I suspect that is in my future.  Will that make me permanently what I should be?  I suspect I will always need therapy to keep me centered. 
 

You seem really centered for where you are and going. 

 

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54 minutes ago, SamC said:

In another post, you mentioned you are six months into your journey. First, congratulations.  Second, although you can see your true self in the mirror, at six months, it is natural to worry about keeping hold of, and moving towards, what you see.

 

After five years of HRT, I still worry. And I am dependent on the estradiol to keep up my estrogen levels, and the casodex to keep down my testosterone.  My physical, mental, and emotional state in harmony with my mind and soul.

 

i have not yet had any surgeries, so no vaginoplasty or FFS, but I suspect that is in my future.  Will that make me permanently what I should be?  I suspect I will always need therapy to keep me centered. 
 

You seem really centered for where you are and going. 

 

I am very fortunate to have a wife - of almost 50 years - who has embraced me as I am and is committed to staying together. At almost 70, I've gotten a very late start on my journey after decades of denial, depression and guilt. Now, with both an amazing therapist and loving wife, I've started on this journey knowing that it will not be the same as it would have been had I started earlier. I try not to be disappointed, but to celebrate what I can achieve. I'm not sure how far along the spectrum of transition I'll be able to go...but I will enjoy every step I take. You are right that there is still much worry and even some fear both about holding on and letting go. Still, at just 6 months into the process even my therapist is amazed at how far I've come.

 

HRT is so appealing to me, but I'm still undecided - and surgery won't be in my future...well, maybe for a new hip. 😉 I take each day as it's given and work on learning more about who I am and gaining my voice, literal and figurative, as a trans woman. The journey will never end until I do...and that's actually exciting to me.

 

You are so supportive and flattering - and good for my ego. You rock, Sam!

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    • missyjo
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    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
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      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
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      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
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