A Place To Say Something

[Guest ashleynikole]

I'm worn out.

I'm tired of defending myself. No...I'm tired of explaining myself.

I'm tired of people coming to me to tell me how wrong and in sin I am. I'm tired of them treating me like I'm some second class person who needs to follow Jesus in order to be really free from this sexual sin. I'm tired of being looked down on like my faith is fake because I can't possibly be someone who can be transformed AND used by God to show His love to others.

I'm tired.

I'm really tired.

[Guest TGTrish]

When others throw heaps of condemnation around it clear they have little room to speak regarding sin. It's time to shake the dust from your feet, move on (spiritually).

(((Sympathy Hug)))

Trish

[Guest]

HUGGS, Megan.

May your friend Patti, RiP.

Huggs,

Joann

[Cyndee]

I know I will dear friend.

Sorry to hear of Patti's passing, supporters are dear to us, may she rest in peace

Hugs

Cyndi -

[Guest LizMarie]

I'm worn out.

I'm tired of defending myself. No...I'm tired of explaining myself.

I'm tired of people coming to me to tell me how wrong and in sin I am. I'm tired of them treating me like I'm some second class person who needs to follow Jesus in order to be really free from this sexual sin. I'm tired of being looked down on like my faith is fake because I can't possibly be someone who can be transformed AND used by God to show His love to others.

I'm tired.

I'm really tired.

*hugs* And I wish I could do that in person, Ashley, not just virtually.

What you are experiencing is what drove me from the church with a finality that has me convinced I will never walk through the doors of any Christian church ever again, with intent to worship. I might go to a wedding or some other event at a specific church but Christianity as part of my personal daily life is dead.

[gennee]

Megan, I'm sorry about Patti's passing. My condolences to you and her family.

[Guest ashleynikole]

Thanks Liz, Trish, and Swell,

It's a daily battle, but some days the enemy just sits in waiting and others he's pouncing like a tiger. I often think it's funny that I've been told we face adversity when we're going the wrong direction, but I don't buy that. We face adversity in that AND when we need to grow. As much as my old friend (the reason I posted that) thinks he's following God in speaking his words...I can't help but think, what if he's being the devil's tool (after all, Jesus did say to Peter, "Get behind thee Satan")?

Perhaps some time to prayer and meditate on all things will be good.

God bless you all

Ashley

[Guest LauraJen]

Long time in quite a while I posted here. One small step I made today? I shaved all hair on my arms as well as every other area that needs doing. I've done my legs for years, but never my arms before as they are more difficult to hide all the time. Doesn't matter now that I am in my own place at last though, i don't have to live by anyone's rules but my own. And I can't say how that feels.

So for the first time, I have hairless arms. I was just getting so tired of being restricted to long-sleeved tops and dresses. I then made my way to a social event hosted by a local trans group wearing a black and white strappy dress I have had for years - no sleeves. How nice it is not to have to hide something like that!

[Guest MostlySwell]

Ashley, I'm not active in the church and am not a believer, but I have been active and I understand the language you are speaking. It doesn't take a believer to know that when one person is condemning another, there is something wrong. And a friend, no less? Poor fella. He's on a lonely path. Not to encourage you to reach out--because I'm NOT. There is credence to the idiom, "pity the fool." You can pity him (or pray for him, if that's how you handle such things) while shielding yourself from him. Let someone who's not so tired deal with him. ((((hugs))))

[Guest actuarylilium]

Ashly, I'm not a believer in God. But I'm a huge believer in being open-minded and having respect for everyone - regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, nationality etc. At the end of the day, we're all members of the human race!

(I went through a phase of hating religion. Because I thought God, if he exists, was being deliberately unfair to me. Now, I realise that life is much better than I thought. And after the things I've done I'm hardly one to take the moral high ground on anything...)

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that (I think) I've finally learned that sex and sexualiy aren't bad things and naughty words (we'll see if this lasts...) For 4 years, I've essentially tried to make my sexuality go away by covering it all up - even if I said otherwise. So scared was I of my past of Porn and self-gratification

that I wouln't embrace my sexuality.

Now, I finally realise that trying to stop self-gratification is self-defeating. It's a basic biological need. I never before realised that, even if the day of gratification is bad, I actually feel better for the next couple of days. Because all the pressure is gone. Before I gave in yesterday, I had been stressed for over a week due to the pressure. All it needed was 5 minutes or so of my time.

Like it or not, we are sexual beings. So I won't live in fear or embarrasment. I will see where my sexuality takes me. However, Porn will (touchwood) NEVER be part of my life again!

I don't have all the answers, I'm not the sole source of knowledge in the Universe. For all I know, I could be wrong on everything. So any advice is greatly appreciated as I explore myself...

Lily xxx

[Guest otter-girl]

There's a tree outside and from the seat by the window I'm able to look out at it. I also find myself looking through it and to the sky beyond. Past few days its been a dull and grey sky, totally without feature. The tree has been waving in the wind doing whatever it is trees do, no doubt totally oblivious to my existence. Nonetheless the leaves have been lit in different ways through the day. Today the sky is brighter. White and grey clouds rush by behind it along with some sunshine and blue.

Sometimes I don't notice the tree much because, like recently, I've been on a total downer. The will to bother completely sucked out of me. I'm putting it down to hormone readjustment but it is still one big sigh which is struggling to let up. Still for random unknown reasons I will turn my head and find myself looking at the tree. Autumn is here and the leaves are beginning to turn and fall. Nice colours, constantly changing in the light. Amazing really. No use whatsoever in a numbers world but I don't care about numbers like that.

The changing light is blown through the tree like the emotions blow through my head. When its dark I hunker down and hope it will go soon. When it gets light I need to remember to get up and run, run for my life to make the most out of it. To enjoy being me.

Best wishes

Rachel

[Charlize]

That is a very nice description of the way i often experience the fall. On this journey i'm taking across North America i'm seeing fall in different ways. Aspens yellow and some leaves fall but here in California on the pacific side of the Sierras it seems like seasons are on hold for a bit if they change at all. I almost miss the melancholy of the shortening days and first killing frosts. That is a climate i'm familiar with.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Zayden]

Today was the first day of orientation at my new work. (Yes, another new job, after just starting a new one in September. Sometimes life doesn't always turn out how we plan it.)

The four of us guys walked into the training room and the trainer said "Well, I only have four nametags and one of the names definitely isn't here because it's a female name." And I had to be like "Uh, hi, that's me." Later on I talked to the manager and got my name switched over to my preferred name.

It's the second time I've been read as male this week. Feeling good.

[Charlize]

Congratulations on the female fail and also for the manager who is willing to help as well.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

@Matthew

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Life is good my friend.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Zayden]

Thanks! The managers are being great with using the proper pronouns and I follow the male dress code. I'm being read as male more and more. I'm not sure if it's that people are actually reading me male or that they're just guessing. Either way... it's nice.

[Guest]

I don't think you are being read male, Matt.

You are male.

Huggs,

Joann

[Cyndee]

Sounds like work is gonna be a lot more fun Matthew....

[Guest MostlySwell]

Succeeded in getting my name changed, today! The judge also issued a court order for TX to amend my birth record to "male."

I need to rest, now.

[VickySGV]

[Guest Faith gibson]

I had someone from the 'Avenue Center' which is an organization which supports gender diversity in this province, facebook me last night just to make sure I was alright. I am so grateful for that. I was just about to go to bed and was feeling a little unsure about today so I really needed the support. She ended up talking for awhile.

A little random act of kindness can go a long way.

[Cyndee]

Succeeded in getting my name changed, today! The judge also issued a court order for TX to amend my birth record to "male."

I need to rest, now.

That's awesome news congratulations, and then everything that follows this change...

[Cyndee]

I had someone from the 'Avenue Center' which is an organization which supports gender diversity in this province, facebook me last night just to make sure I was alright. I am so grateful for that. I was just about to go to bed and was feeling a little unsure about today so I really needed the support. She ended up talking for awhile.

A little random act of kindness can go a long way.

You are absolutely right Faith, small acts of kindness can help in so many ways, we all can make the world a better place

I hope you have a great day !

Cyndi -

[Guest Ender]

A place to say something... Just saw that someone tagged both me and Andreja Pejic on Twitter with winks and what can best be described as internet cat-calling. Um... I don't know if I'm flattered, irritated for her, or just plain confused.

[Guest Ender]

No, no, random bookstore guy, I am not charmed at all by your explicitly stated preference for transmen. *runs awaaaaaay*