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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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9 hours ago, KymmieL said:

My wife will not even try and find information to understand me. That is the sad part.

My son says he knows some people who transitioned. He keeps saying that they are not the same they are different inside. I think that he doesn't talk long enough with them to really find out.

 

I wonder, It was 36 yrs ago tomorrow when I asked my wife to marry me. I wonder if I asked her.  Knowing what you knows about me now. Would you still say yes? Maybe I don't want to know the answer.

 

Kymmie

I don't know, happy on the inside is a KIND of different. I know I'm not the same miserable person that I used to be. Someone who was used to being with me in a "well, at least we can be miserable together" way would be disappointed.

 

Hugs!

 

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Morning everyone, Happy Valentine's day!❤️

 

My sliding door project has turned in a bit of a disaster. I got it all together and it looks pretty nice. It's also pretty big at 54x84 so it had to be made in our living room. It probably took close to an hour to wrestle it in place at our bedroom (big door, small house) for a test fit. Now the bad part. I miss calculated something and it's too tall, about 2 inches too tall. I was in panic mode disassembling it at 10pm since I screwed and glued everything together. There is no way I have the strength or energy to move it again so I have to figure out how to cut it down and rework the braces with it in our front hall. Guess what I'm doing today?

 

When my wife woke up last night (she sleeps a lot lately) she asked how her oil change went. I told her about the incident with a mouse living in the air filter and also made it a point to explain how well I was treated, as a woman. She didn't have much to say in return but a least nothing negative.

 

As I do every year. I bought her Valentines day gifts and hid them until the morning of. I got them out a few minutes ago, arranged them on our table. I always writes a small note in the card but did not sign it with my dead-name. I will no longer sign or give out my dead-name on anything unless it is absolutely necessary.

 

 

 

 

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The mouse in the air filter reminded me. Last night I heard my cat making a ruckus and a few hours later I was walking around in my living room and stepped on something soft. I looked back and at first I thought it was a piece of my dog's fuzzy chew toy, until I realized it was the wrong color. Turned out for the first time in her life my cat killed a mouse.

 

I'm sure the poor mouse had the decision of whether to stay outside and freeze to death or come inside and hide from the cat.

 

I'm happily single so my Valentine's Day so far has been going to a popular breakfast restaurant, writing a few hundred words on a novella about my Pathfinder RPG group and coming home and commenting on some web forums. I have a box of cheap wine that I'll probably imbibe before the day's over, but for the first time in my life I'm pretty happy about being single.

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@Mmindythanks for the license plate.

 

I too am sorry you got gendered, but it happens to all of us even when we do our best to present female.

 

@Confused1 I also have Austin’s book.  And I have watched a few YouTube things he did.  
 

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.  It’s raining here, has been for over 24 hours and will continue to do so.  We even lost power last night for a while.

 

hugs

 

Willow

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5 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Morning everyone, Happy Valentine's day!❤️

 

My sliding door project has turned in a bit of a disaster. I got it all together and it looks pretty nice. It's also pretty big at 54x84 so it had to be made in our living room. It probably took close to an hour to wrestle it in place at our bedroom (big door, small house) for a test fit. Now the bad part. I miss calculated something and it's too tall, about 2 inches too tall. I was in panic mode disassembling it at 10pm since I screwed and glued everything together. There is no way I have the strength or energy to move it again so I have to figure out how to cut it down and rework the braces with it in our front hall. Guess what I'm doing today?

 

When my wife woke up last night (she sleeps a lot lately) she asked how her oil change went. I told her about the incident with a mouse living in the air filter and also made it a point to explain how well I was treated, as a woman. She didn't have much to say in return but a least nothing negative.

 

As I do every year. I bought her Valentines day gifts and hid them until the morning of. I got them out a few minutes ago, arranged them on our table. I always writes a small note in the card but did not sign it with my dead-name. I will no longer sign or give out my dead-name on anything unless it is absolutely necessary.

 

 

 

 

Oh, that sucks about the door. If you're worried about the dust from cutting you could use one of those old hand saws. anything powered is going to make a mess. I think a variable speed Sawzall with a metal cutting blade would be my first choice though. I don't know what the door looks like, but you may be able to mount a piece of flat bar with countersunk holes and screw it to the cut end.  I know how you feel. I put in a chain link fence last year and miscalculated gate post locations by 4 inches too wide. Luckily I could rotate the gate and make it fit. I think it actually looks better that way. Good luck.

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Just finished another puzzle. Went for silly this time. 300 pieces. I usually don't have the patience for puzzles over 350 pieces. I needed a laugh. My wife is still going through a rough pancreas flare. At least today she can walk to the bathroom without help. I get so depressed seeing her like this most of the time. The worst part is not being able to help her get well. Her specialist told her he's going for quality of life instead of quantity of life now. There really isn't anything to make her better. She spends over 20 hours a day in bed in pain. When it gets to the point where she can't drink, we go to the emer. room where it's a toss up on whether or not she gets a doctor who will give her what she needs to help get down to level 6 pain from over 10. I can't write any more. Sorry to dump on you.

ACNL Gulliver.jpg

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1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

I can't write any more. Sorry to dump on you.

I'm sure this is painful for you. Apologies aren't necessary. Spend what time you can with your wife and cherish the memories. ♥️

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1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Sorry to dump on you.

 

That's alright. It's what we're here for.

 

I've watched family members deteriorate from a health condition that medical science currently can't do anything about. It's heartbreaking, I know. I wish you and your wife all the best for the time you have remaining. Do the best you can. She really does appreciate it.

 

Hugs!

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Good afternoon! The magic motivation juice has finally done its work, so now I’m making cinnamon rolls. I’ve got to get out and shovel soon too. :( 

 

My wife is laughing at me this morning, I can’t really decide on what I want my new name too be, so I created a private poll on Facebook to get opinions lol. I’ve been going by Justine to minimize confusion but I really don’t like it. 

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1 hour ago, JustineM said:

My wife is laughing at me this morning, I can’t really decide on what I want my new name too be, so I created a private poll on Facebook to get opinions lol. I’ve been going by Justine to minimize confusion but I really don’t like it.

 

Take your time. It'll come to you when the time is right. Jackie was my first choice "on the spot" but it's not what I changed my name to. Personally, I'm partial to Xena. I mean sure, I already know one Xena from the gym (and she's gorgeous. I am so, so jealous) but it's a very cool name and I see more Xenas in the world as a good thing.

 

Hugs!

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Jamie I'm sorry for what you're going through.  It has to be hard not to be able to help any more.

 

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Take your time. It'll come to you when the time is right. Jackie was my first choice "on the spot" but it's not what I changed my name to.

Yeah.   I'm still not sure on what to pick for a legal change.  "Jandi" kinda came up earl on by accident.  I don't dislike it, but I'm not really satisfied for a legal change.  But still, I'd like to start the process sooner than later.

 It would be nice if I could get the gender marker changed at the same time.

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1 hour ago, HaraSurya said:

@AgnesBardsie

 

I love those painted rocks. They'd be a wonderful project for a middle school art class.

That’s about where my skill set is at the moment! I’m afraid I let it atrophy. Ha ha! I was always afraid even terrified to indulge in this activity for fear it might be construed as girly. Now using pink and pastel colors and painting things that are cute feels awesome!

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@AgnesBardsie

I'm not sure if I'm transgender or simply enjoy cross dressing, but I've stopped giving a damn what society views as feminine and masculine and just do what I like. If that means painting girly rocks then so be it.

 

@Abi

I'm having a good day and I'm single and enjoying it for once. I'm making sexy computer generated 3D pinups with a Valentine's theme, eating red Starburst candy and drinking wine. I might slip off to my roommate's jacuzzi later and read some romance novels while eating and drinking the same.

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Instead of sipping coffee, I'll be spilling the tea while I wait for today's cast of Beyond Trans to start. So I was talking to my nonbinary kid and it seems that my ex's bf is arguing with my kid about the use of their name's diminutive and choice of pronouns, and purposefully misgendering them.

 

I messaged my ex about it saying that I don't want him attacking our child and that he needs to mind his own business. That her bf needs, this is a Gen-Xr commenting on a Boomer keep in mind, to grow up. My ex promised to talk to her bf about, but this incident has really gotten me steamed!

 

I grew up in an environment that didn't respect trans people. Even before I ever knew I was trans I was an outsider because I was trans. When my kid came out as nonbinary I promised myself that I would make my home a safe place for them. But most of the week they live with my ex and her bf. That he feels the need to treat my kid like this, and I've in no way given up my parental rights or duties, is disgusting and borders on abuse!

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8 hours ago, JustineM said:

Good afternoon! The magic motivation juice has finally done its work, so now I’m making cinnamon rolls. I’ve got to get out and shovel soon too. :( 

 

My wife is laughing at me this morning, I can’t really decide on what I want my new name too be, so I created a private poll on Facebook to get opinions lol. I’ve been going by Justine to minimize confusion but I really don’t like it. 

Picking a name is a fascinating process. I eliminated a couple of my favorites because I knew some folks with the same name and thought it felt weird with the same name as them. LOL. I settled on Agnes because the nickname is Aggie, and although I don't like the nickname, it reminds me of my college experience. I was enrolled in the college of Agriculture and Life Sciences at Cornell, an Aggie. So I've come full circle with a brand new meaning to the word, and a more refined version of it. My middle name, Bardsie, is a feminized version of Bardsey Island, off the tip of the Lleyn Peninsula in Wales where I grew up (Pwllheli). I like poetry too, so the Bard bit seems to fit. 

wales.jpg

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Hello everyone.  Hope you all enjoyed valentines day.  Mine was great.  Had to go north to pick up a snowblower for a family member.  Had a babysitter for the day so me and my wife took full advantage  of it.  I went in full Breanna for the first full day out in public. On a whim we decided to go to Lake Geneva in Wisconsin.  Well it ended up being a winter festival weekend. They had a bunch of snow and ice sculptures around so it was a nice treat.  It felt great being out in such a crowd as my true self.  Also the long drive gave us plenty of time to talk about things.  Ended the day with take out food.  Well gotta get to bed so I can wake up early to clear snow before heading to work.  Good night ladies.

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Here's the before and after of the door. Because I over-build everything the door also turned out thicker than what the track was designed for and resulted in yet another (3rd) trip to Home Depot for parts. It still needs finish-work but it's usable.

 

 

IMG_3980.JPEG

IMG_3982.jpeg

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My Valentine's day has left me even more confused. My wife gave me a box of bath bombs. We both like taking baths so it's not that unusual but the second gift just blew my mind. It's a blue shimmery rose that changes to gold when the light hits it right and a gold plate stem. I almost cried. I wanted to but I'm just too tired from everything else.

 

I truly believe in her heart  she has accepted what I'm going through but the rules keep changing. I just thought, maybe her acceptance is just random from what I would expect. To her it's linear but me it's more like a shotgun pattern.

 

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Wow @ElizabethStar that’s a beautiful gift. I hope this is signs her taking steps to accept you.

 

Well the cinnamon rolls turned out great, I don’t think they survived more than 2 hrs lol. Got most of the shoveling done but my arm started really hurting so I had to stop.

 

@Jackie C. Xenia is a beautiful name and we always need more warrior-princesses in the world.  

 

@AgnesBardsie my wife’s aunt was named Aggie and she was an amazing woman. Very kind and loving, smart as could be. She worked as an OSHA inspector, so she had a lot of steel in her backbone too.

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I doubt I'd ever change my name publicly, but online I present as Sarra Lee Evans who writes under the pen name Hara Surya. Honestly, Sarra is the name of a painting I like by Michael Whelan (it's hanging in my bedroom) and also a friend of my sister's in elementary school (different spelling though). Lee is my mother's middle name, my ex-wife's middle name and my father' nickname (his given name is Leon). Evans is my mother's maiden name.

 

Hara Surya is simply a name I made up for a story, with a last name taken from a list in video game called Second Life. I started presenting as female in a dedicated way in Second Life and brought her over to writing erotica on Kindle as well as making 3D pictures of the SL character using Poser. Around the time I transitions to different character making software I changed my fictional persona's name to Sarra Lee Evans.

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