Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Jamie68]

17 hours ago, JustineM said:

Good afternoon! The magic motivation juice has finally done its work, so now I’m making cinnamon rolls. I’ve got to get out and shovel soon too.  

 

My wife is laughing at me this morning, I can’t really decide on what I want my new name too be, so I created a private poll on Facebook to get opinions lol. I’ve been going by Justine to minimize confusion but I really don’t like it. 

It was easy for me. From James to Jamie. Seemed like a natural progression. Most people called me Jim or Jimmy. Jamie is like a combo of all 3. Good luck.

[Jackie C.]

10 hours ago, Drayse said:

I was talking to my nonbinary kid and it seems that my ex's bf is arguing with my kid about the use of their name's diminutive and choice of pronouns, and purposefully misgendering them.

 

I messaged my ex about it saying that I don't want him attacking our child and that he needs to mind his own business. That her bf needs, this is a Gen-Xr commenting on a Boomer keep in mind, to grow up. My ex promised to talk to her bf about, but this incident has really gotten me steamed!

 

Yeah, I completely get this. Some of the boomers in my life are OK, but the ones that aren't... Goddess they're just SO, SO far up their own behinds... Anyway, I hope his behavior changes. You're absolutely right, that's abuse.

 

Hugs!

[Jamie68]

15 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Painted some valentine rocks for my wife and three daughters. Feeling blessed.

Nice! I have a few painted rocks around my house that I bought. I love them.

[Jamie68]

10 hours ago, Drayse said:

Instead of sipping coffee, I'll be spilling the tea while I wait for today's cast of Beyond Trans to start. So I was talking to my nonbinary kid and it seems that my ex's bf is arguing with my kid about the use of their name's diminutive and choice of pronouns, and purposefully misgendering them.

 

I messaged my ex about it saying that I don't want him attacking our child and that he needs to mind his own business. That her bf needs, this is a Gen-Xr commenting on a Boomer keep in mind, to grow up. My ex promised to talk to her bf about, but this incident has really gotten me steamed!

 

I grew up in an environment that didn't respect trans people. Even before I ever knew I was trans I was an outsider because I was trans. When my kid came out as nonbinary I promised myself that I would make my home a safe place for them. But most of the week they live with my ex and her bf. That he feels the need to treat my kid like this, and I've in no way given up my parental rights or duties, is disgusting and borders on abuse!

It IS abuse! You need to put a stop to it now. Your kid may already be scarred for life. I've carried unpleasant remarks from parents my whole life. I've tried to get rid of them but they still come back to haunt me from time to time.

[Jamie68]

10 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Picking a name is a fascinating process. I eliminated a couple of my favorites because I knew some folks with the same name and thought it felt weird with the same name as them. LOL. I settled on Agnes because the nickname is Aggie, and although I don't like the nickname, it reminds me of my college experience. I was enrolled in the college of Agriculture and Life Sciences at Cornell, an Aggie. So I've come full circle with a brand new meaning to the word, and a more refined version of it. My middle name, Bardsie, is a feminized version of Bardsey Island, off the tip of the Lleyn Peninsula in Wales where I grew up (Pwllheli). I like poetry too, so the Bard bit seems to fit. 

Sounds like it was meant to be

[Jamie68]

9 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Here's the before and after of the door. Because I over-build everything the door also turned out thicker than what the track was designed for and resulted in yet another (3rd) trip to Home Depot for parts. It still needs finish-work but it's usable.

 

 

It looks great! I hate how the lumber comes with stickers on it. A real pain to clean up enough so it won't affect stain.

[Drayse]

3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Yeah, I completely get this. Some of the boomers in my life are OK, but the ones that aren't...

Like most groups, some individuals are great and some are garbage. I don't normally make much of distinction between generations as it's an arbitrary measure anyhow. But my ex brought it up as a defence. However, that only makes his behaviour worse as he's had all the more time to learn better behaviours but chose to be ignorant.

 

3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

I hope his behavior changes. You're absolutely right, that's abuse.

 

3 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

It IS abuse! You need to put a stop to it now. Your kid may already be scarred for life. I've carried unpleasant remarks from parents my whole life.

I agree. I myself have built a wall to protect myself and it consists largely of emotional scar tissue. Why I find this so frustrating is that I don't know how long this has been going on between my ex's bf and my kid. I thought he was just struggling with my kid's pronouns, but he was using stupid "arguments" such as the infamous "Well I'm an attack helicopter" on my kid. My kid came out as nonbinary almost four years ago, about the same time I shoved myself back into the closet, and this is the first I've heard about how terrible my ex's bf has been in this regard.

 

Maybe it's because I was painting my kid's nails in their flags colours, or maybe because my kids have always known that I'll listen to them. But last night my nonbinary kid opened up to me about it and I'm heartbroken in addition to being angry. Sometimes I think my kids feel that they have to protect me and their mom, but I always hope that they know that they can tell me anything without me judging them.

 

At any rate, we'll have to see how this goes. If he doesn't change and continues the attacks my kids are old enough to request living with me. While I'm afraid that my kids doing so would hurt my ex, it's my kids who are vulnerable here.

 

Thanks for the support, ladies. You're all very classy. ♥️

 

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Drayse said:

Like most groups, some individuals are great and some are garbage. I don't normally make much of distinction between generations as it's an arbitrary measure anyhow. But my ex brought it up as a defence. However, that only makes his behaviour worse as he's had all the more time to learn better behaviours but chose to be ignorant.

 

 

I agree. I myself have built a wall to protect myself and it consists largely of emotional scar tissue. Why I find this so frustrating is that I don't know how long this has been going on between my ex's bf and my kid. I thought he was just struggling with my kid's pronouns, but he was using stupid "arguments" such as the infamous "Well I'm an attack helicopter" on my kid. My kid came out as nonbinary almost four years ago, about the same time I shoved myself back into the closet, and this is the first I've heard about how terrible my ex's bf has been in this regard.

 

Maybe it's because I was painting my kid's nails in their flags colours, or maybe because my kids have always known that I'll listen to them. But last night my nonbinary kid opened up to me about it and I'm heartbroken in addition to being angry. Sometimes I think my kids feel that they have to protect me and their mom, but I always hope that they know that they can tell me anything without me judging them.

 

At any rate, we'll have to see how this goes. If he doesn't change and continues the attacks my kids are old enough to request living with me. While I'm afraid that my kids doing so would hurt my ex, it's my kids who are vulnerable here.

 

Thanks for the support, ladies. You're all very classy. ♥️

 

You can't wait to see how it goes. You have to do something now. Call DCFS if you have to. Your kid telling you about it is a desperate cry for help from the only person they trust. We are loosing too many of our youth through suicide now days. don't let this happen in your family.

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

You can't wait to see how it goes. You have to do something now. Call DCFS if you have to. Your kid telling you about it is a desperate cry for help from the only person they trust. We are loosing too many of our youth through suicide now days. don't let this happen in your family.

Or call the police. They will get DCFS involved and take care of the -censored-.

[Drayse]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Call DCFS if you have to. Your kid telling you about it is a desperate cry for help from the only person they trust.

My kids are still with me for most of the day. I've complained about what's going on to a couple more people and groups I trust and have been spending the past little bit researching legislation in my region regarding children's rights. Personal pronouns of trans and nonbinary individuals are protected rights in Canada, I don't think y ex's bf is taking that into consideration. Don't worry, I'm on @Jamie68

?❤️

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Drayse said:

My kids are still with me for most of the day. I've complained about what's going on to a couple more people and groups I trust and have been spending the past little bit researching legislation in my region regarding children's rights. Personal pronouns of trans and nonbinary individuals are protected rights in Canada, I don't think y ex's bf is taking that into consideration. Don't worry, I'm on @Jamie68

?❤️

Ok. 

[KymmieL]

Morning all. A freaking cold -2 right now. a little different from the 15 that was forecast for us to have over night. But warmer than the -17 I had going to work yesterday morning.

 

I have had a Facebook account for years. Anymore it is mostly my wife uses it. She plays farmville. I peruse it maybe once a week. I recently found that one of my "friends" from school. Probably won't except me. He posted a nasty response to a post about a trans young lady who with her dads help created a bathing suit that helped MtF trans kids fit in better.

 

So I can almost count on losing his friendship once I put my good bye post when I leave. I am thinking that I'll lose maybe 50% of my contacts. Unfortunately some will be relations. Mostly will be my wife's side. There are a couple hard core bible thumpers that I know will. No big loss there. 

 

Starting my hump day today. close the next three days. thankfully we have a new guy starting some just maybe I'll get a reprieve from closing. But OH, well. What happens happens.

 

Kymmie

[Jani]

15 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

My middle name, Bardsie, is a feminized version of Bardsey Island, off the tip of the Lleyn Peninsula in Wales where I grew up (Pwllheli). I like poetry too, so the Bard bit seems to fit. 

@AgnesBardsie that is so interesting!  So much symmetry there.  Cool!

[Jackie C.]

4 hours ago, Drayse said:

At any rate, we'll have to see how this goes. If he doesn't change and continues the attacks my kids are old enough to request living with me. While I'm afraid that my kids doing so would hurt my ex, it's my kids who are vulnerable here.

 

Absolutely right here too. It should ALWAYS be about what's best for the kids.

 

Hugs!

[Heather Shay]

@AgnesBardsie I also love the middle mname - so unique and YOU (I bet).

 

Snow on the way - 2 inches last night. I imagine transitioning like walking in a snow storm. It's hard to trudge along but with every step gets me closer to a warm place of peace.

[Confused1]

14 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

My Valentine's day has left me even more confused. My wife gave me a box of bath bombs. We both like taking baths so it's not that unusual but the second gift just blew my mind. It's a blue shimmery rose that changes to gold when the light hits it right and a gold plate stem. I almost cried. I wanted to but I'm just too tired from everything else.

 

I truly believe in her heart  she has accepted what I'm going through but the rules keep changing. I just thought, maybe her acceptance is just random from what I would expect. To her it's linear but me it's more like a shotgun pattern.

 

 

HI Elizabeth,

 

If it helps, I compared my marriage to a roller coaster ride for awhile. It can be pretty hard when the direction seems to change all at once, or keeps changing directions. I have shed a lot of tears over the last year or so. We are both Christian, and sometimes that triggered it. Our relationship has improved very much lately. I pray that yours does as well.

 

Hugs,

Mike

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Jani said:

@AgnesBardsie that is so interesting!  So much symmetry there.  Cool!

I love this quote: "Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than your comfort zone."  Billy Cox

 

Bardsey Island is the furthest West point, pushing the boundaries of the little peninsula out into the Irish Sea (why they call it that and not the Welsh Sea has always bothered me!). It's only accessible by boat and only a dwindling handful live on it today. It was once a bustling destination, three trips were equivalent to a pilgrimage to the Vatican at one time. It is said to be home to the graves of 20,000 saints. You certainly have to push your comfort zone to go on a pilgrimage, you have to make preparations, and be mentally and spiritually prepared. What I'm doing today certainly feels like a pilgrimage of sorts. Except when I'm done, I'm going to take up residence! I'm planting the flag there!

 

[Willow]

Liz,

 

Im hoping that my ride on the transgender roller coaster is running through those last low humps before the lengthy coast into the end of the ride.

 

Confused1 I took your advice and it’s helping.  Morning devotions together everyday.  It’s surprising how many things in the Bible can bring you to talks about feelings and how you realize you need to make adjustments.  Even someone who believes they are already following the Word can realize they have much to change to really be in alignment.

 

Willow

[Heather Nicole]

4 hours ago, Drayse said:

While I'm afraid that my kids doing so would hurt my ex, it's my kids who are vulnerable here.

 

I can definitely understand that concern. But, if it does come to that, well, she made her own bed, so to speak. I mean, I don't have any kids myself (other than the furry kind), but if I did, I can't imagine being willing to date a bigot who verbally abuses them, regardless of what other qualities they may or may not have.

[Heather Nicole]

@ElizabethStar: Nice work on the door, it appears to be quite an upgrade!

[Bri2020]

16 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Picking a name is a fascinating process. I eliminated a couple of my favorites because I knew some folks with the same name and thought it felt weird with the same name as them. LOL. I settled on Agnes because the nickname is Aggie, and although I don't like the nickname, it reminds me of my college experience. I was enrolled in the college of Agriculture and Life Sciences at Cornell, an Aggie. So I've come full circle with a brand new meaning to the word, and a more refined version of it. My middle name, Bardsie, is a feminized version of Bardsey Island, off the tip of the Lleyn Peninsula in Wales where I grew up (Pwllheli). I like poetry too, so the Bard bit seems to fit. 

 

I love that part of Wales!  I've just visited but being Welsh descent I plan on going back a few more times.  I plan on walking the trail all around the Isle of Anglesey next time, staying in B&Bs along the way.  My last visit I had to rent a giant Mercedes SUV which made driving pretty harrowing. I had to reverse many a time because of oncoming traffic on "2 way roads" that barely fit my one vehicle. haha

I chose Bri as a shortened version of Briana to honor the Breton/Irish in my history.

[Bri2020]

@ElizabethStar, love the door, nice job!

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

but being Welsh descent I plan on going back a few more times.  I plan on walking the trail all around the Isle of Anglesey next time, staying in B&Bs along the way.

That’s one of the things on my bucket list too! Walking around the Welsh coastline. I’m a member of several walking clubs in the AVA American Volkssport Association and I put on a walkathon last year, 8 days and about 120 miles of scenic trails in Portland Vancouver area, and raised $1500 for the cause. I took my giant schnauzer with me and I called it the Give-a-Woof walk.

Http://www.allweatherwalkers.org 

Under events, fundraising

 

I could see a Trans-Wales-Walkto fund raise for a worthy cause!

[Confused1]

2 hours ago, Willow said:

Liz,

 

Im hoping that my ride on the transgender roller coaster is running through those last low humps before the lengthy coast into the end of the ride.

 

Confused1 I took your advice and it’s helping.  Morning devotions together everyday.  It’s surprising how many things in the Bible can bring you to talks about feelings and how you realize you need to make adjustments.  Even someone who believes they are already following the Word can realize they have much to change to really be in alignment.

 

Willow

 This really made my day Willow! I'm so happy for you. I know it was a turning point in my marriage.

 

Hugs,

Mike

[Elizabeth Star]

I got word from HR today that they are issuing my insurance and benefits cards with my correct name on them. I'm really excited since this will be the first "official" thing in my wallet with the right name. This may also help with convincing my wife to let me let me make it legal. The current plan is she wants me to wait until the next, potentially mythological, stimulus check.