Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Elizabeth Star]

Good morning.

 

So yeah, things are better. I've also come to the realization that the idea GCS is kind of off the table for now. Being my wife's care-giver takes a lot of my time and there no way she could care for me during recovery. On the financial side of it, we can't afford for me to be out of work any length of time. It really sucks and hurts that fate did this me. I have a job, family and (now) spouse that are supporting me. Even my insurance would cover the procedure(s) and only cost me pennies out-of-pocket but unless all the stars are properly aligned it can't happen. I guess I should be, and am, happy with what I have but it is a "for now" type of thing. I know eventually dark thoughts will creep their way back into my life and will have to be dealt with. Up to this point I've been taking my journey one step at a time which has has paid off so far but has a down side of taking a very long time. For my own sanity I need to believe I'll be able to get everything done in time to still enjoy part of me life as my true self. Still, I try not to think about it too much and try to live in the moment.

[LusciousTheLock]

1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

Good morning.

 

So yeah, things are better. I've also come to the realization that the idea GCS is kind of off the table for now. Being my wife's care-giver takes a lot of my time and there no way she could care for me during recovery. On the financial side of it, we can't afford for me to be out of work any length of time. It really sucks and hurts that fate did this me. I have a job, family and (now) spouse that are supporting me. Even my insurance would cover the procedure(s) and only cost me pennies out-of-pocket but unless all the stars are properly aligned it can't happen. I guess I should be, and am, happy with what I have but it is a "for now" type of thing. I know eventually dark thoughts will creep their way back into my life and will have to be dealt with. Up to this point I've been taking my journey one step at a time which has has paid off so far but has a down side of taking a very long time. For my own sanity I need to believe I'll be able to get everything done in time to still enjoy part of me life as my true self. Still, I try not to think about it too much and try to live in the moment.

I did the same, its one step at a time. Here in the UK its a long process anyway. I finally got an appointment at a gender clinic for June 30th then to see an Endocrinologist on October 27th. I have masses of medication and health problems to talk through and I fear they will tell me medical transition isn't possible, but I've waited four years to get this far and paid £12k in counselling alone. I'm going to bloomin well try my best.

 

What I will say though, as far as the mental health goes and my own journey, is that full surgery was never really my goal. It's nice and yes I do need it, want it, dream of it. But, my priority was showing people the real me. Having friends and family understand who and what I am. Being genuine and honest for the first time in my whole life about who I am, my interests and life goals. I've changed my name, changed my wardrobe and finally living as who I need to be. Acceptance.

 

Life's a journey, it may take time but we will get to where we need to be despite set backs. Good luck

[Heather Shay]

@Gabriel congrats.

@ElizabethStar I am so happy for you. I haven't had the acceptance and shopping experience but maybe some day.

[Jani]

6 hours ago, Gabriel said:

I came out at work three weeks ago.

This is great news @Gabriel.  All my best for your upcoming appointment. 

Jani

[Willow]

@ElizabethStarthat is really good news that your wife is coming around and your in-laws.  My wife and I are the oldest in each of our families only her younger brother and of course our kids.  

 

I want to share some good news.  First I went to church and was not ignored this week.  Several people talked to me, and one specifically called me by name.
 

when I got home my wife had written a note for the church bulletin.  It was very well written explaining my situation and asking for support.  I was happily surprised she did this.

 

A friend who didn’t know about me, at least we hadn’t told her, stopped by and met me for the first time. She was very supportive and that went well.  I’ve told a number of neighbors and that has gone well.  I’m riding a high right now.

 

Willow

[Elizabeth Star]

@WillowIt's great to hear things are going really good for you. Also sounds like everyone wanted to meet the new girl at church.

[AmberM]

@Willow That is awesome about all four things. I would be riding high given all that support too.

 

So yesterday the wife and I got together with some friends from High School that already know, but this was the first time in a while that I opened up and invited them to ask questions, as a way to be explicit. Overall I think it went well. They were asking general questions about the transition process, what it entailed, and how long it would take. It did kick in some level of dysphoria because I felt like some subtle changes were starting to happen that they didn't really see yet. It also kicked in I think because it made me remember the time table isn't a short one, and that it is going to take time to possibly feel the real me, which kind of sucked some wind out of the sails last night after everything.

 

Doing better today though, didn't do much though, lol.

[Mmindy]

On 3/20/2021 at 2:26 AM, Heather Nicole said:

It's technically Saturday here now, but for me it's still the late tail end of Friday night. It's been...quite a day. My mom spent about a year and a half battling pancreatic cancer, which runs in the family. Today was the day my brother, sister and I were forced to have her put into hospice. A complicated day.

 

Heather, it's Sunday evening and I'm just now catching up here. Last October my sisters and I spent three nights in our Mother's nursing home room as she passed away. She battled dementia and Parkinson's for 8 years. The nursing home and hospice personnel were absolutely amazing and kind to us by adding us to the menu totals, brought in extra beds for us. When she finally passed away, I felt the grief counseling that I was prepared to do for my sisters, was also needed for the care staff at the nursing home. Every one of them came in and wept for her. 

 

The decision you and your siblings had to make, placing your mom into hospice care, is one of the toughest, and loving decisions in any family can make. This is a time when you will need to lean on your siblings, other family members, and friends as she approaches death. Please include your therapist in on your facing grief. Here's what I learned from my father's 

passing, and it continued to help me with my mother's passing.

 

"The pain of Grief is equal to, but not greater than the love you have for your Mother."-MMoore

 

Prayers of comfort for your mom, and your family.

 

Mindy ???

[Mmindy]

@Willow That's great news for a Sunday evening. I'm so happy for you being full time. 

 

Hugs, 

 

Mindy???

[Bri2020]

Awesome news @Willow  Ride that wave of acceptance and love.

[Willow]

Today’s look

[Jani]

Very nice @Willow.  I'm happy for you!!

[Ann W]

Wow @Willow, you look great...and  happy.  ☺

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Willow said:

Today’s look

Pretty. 

[Mmindy]

Good morning everyone,

 

Sunrise over the bird feeders was hours ago, the coffee was HOT, black and strong.

 

@Willow, you look great. I'm so happy for you being able to be who you really are.

 

Mindy???

[KymmieL]

Good Foggy morning to everyone. well back to the coolness at home. Met my wife and son at our middle sons then to his wife grandma's house for a birthday party for her mom and our youngest grandson.  Both March birthdays. I had fun even though I only knew our son and his wife there.

 

After we left my wife asks me, even though you didn't know many their did you have fun.

Me: Yeah

her: how would I explain that my husband was a woman.

 

Even on our drive home it seemed cool. I left every opportunity for her to hold my hand. Nada. Oh well. guess I will plug along. 

My Kymmie time these past 4 days was great. rarely did I have a alone feeling.

 

Kymmie

[Elizabeth Star]

Being Monday and I am usually on the phone all day I opted to wear a skirt. Well, things didn’t go as planned and here I am out on a service call. Booties, skirt and a tool bag. 
 

have a great day everyone. 

[Jackie C.]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

After we left my wife asks me, even though you didn't know many their did you have fun.

Me: Yeah

her: how would I explain that my husband was a woman.

 

Well, my spouse refers to me as either her spouse or her wife. Husband doesn't really apply and would probably cause confusion.

 

I'm glad you enjoyed your Kymmie time though. It sounds like, aside from your spouse, you had a great time. Try to focus on that.

 

Hugs!

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Being Monday and I am usually on the phone all day I opted to wear a skirt. Well, things didn’t go as planned and here I am out on a service call. Booties, skirt and a tool bag. 
 

have a great day everyone. 

You need to at least keep some yoga pants in the car. haha

[KymmieL]

Well our family counselor gave us some homework to think of a way we could make it work.

 

My wife told me this morning when I took her out for breakfast for her birthday. That she had thought to let me be Kymmie sometimes. I am OK with that. She says basically what I am doing know. I could see that as a possible win. 

 

Kymmie

[Willow]

@KymmieLmy wife says she lost her husband to me or close friends.  Otherwise she and Willow are girlfriends.  Glad you enjoyed your alone time. Also glad you had fun at the party.  
 

@ElizabethStar I’ll bet you were more prepared before you were Liz. I agree you probably should carry a few emergency supplies in the car or truck. Don’t I recall you having a rather heavy duty work truck?  Maybe that’s someone else.

 

 

[Willow]

Things are going really well for me right now. Out full time.  Remaking new friends from old.  My wife is in a good mood.  And I am happy, very happy for the first time in a long time.  Dysphoria sucks!  This is great.

 

hugs

 

Willow

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

That she had thought to let me be Kymmie sometimes. 

 

Kymmie

Take the baby step as a win, but honestly, it's not up to Her to LET you be Kymmie. You get to control that all by yourself hon. Shes get to decide how she can adjust to that decision.  This is a mental health decision, she wouldn't consider whether to Let you see a therapist or Let you take medicine so Letting you be Kimmie is no different.    

Sorry if I'm overstepping here but it pushes buttons for me when a spouse tries to control who we are.  If she's pro-choice you could put it to her with the comparison to a woman getting to choose whether to get an abortion or take birth control, sure a partner can have an Opinion, but her body-her choice. Same for you.

[Jani]

Willow this is so nice to read that you and your wife are doing so well now.  

 

Bri I didn't take what Kymmie wrote in that manner, just that that's what her wife can adapt to at the moment.  This is a step forward @KymmieL

[KymmieL]

4 hours ago, Willow said:

Things are going really well for me right now. Out full time.  Remaking new friends from old.  My wife is in a good mood.  And I am happy, very happy for the first time in a long time.  Dysphoria sucks!  This is great.

 

hugs

 

Willow

I agree dysphoria sucks. Great that you are making some new old friends. (is that a thing?)

 

Yeah, the best part is my grandson having cake from his eye brows to his toes.

 

Bri I do take it as a win right now. This is one way that I am able to stay with her.

 

 

Kymmie