Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Billie75B]

53 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I work with the best people. A little while ago my manager came into my office as said he needed to talk to me. He had a concerned look on his face. My first thought was uh-oh, someone finally noticed I've been wearing mini-skirt to work. I went into his office through the back door and he closed it behind me. Then turns to me and says, wait I need another manager, follow me. So now I'm getting really worried especially since I did plow my jeep into my company car last weekend. So I followed him into our warehouse to meet with another manager. As we approached far side of the warehouse I noticed a bunch of my coworkers congregating in an area. OMG! It was a birthday trap! It was so sweet of them. They sang me happy birthday and had bought cup cakes. That in itself would have been enough but they still went a step further by having the cupcakes made with pink, white and blue frosting to show their love and support. Honestly, I don't know if I could have made it this far without them.

@Elizabeth Star Dispite what you are having to deal with at home you have a great place at work and that is so Awesome, also Happy birthday young lady 🎂

[LindaMarie]

Wow as we venture even deeper.....

introductions are over, phase one checked off.

 

So now, what will coffee bring tomorrow?

 

 

 

[Bri2020]

Personally I think that gatekeeping builds resentment. If there is ongoing resentment then it’s an unhealthy relationship. So the big question is: is it fair to stay with someone for the rest of theirs/our lives if both parties are going to be resentful and unhappy with the relationship? It’s not like any of us are going to stop being trans. 
I get that in the beginning, spouses need some adjustment time. But it can’t be ongoing. 

[KymmieL]

That is so cool what your work did, Liz. 

While our company advises that the store manager observe birthdays. It has been seen done with others but not me. Maybe that I usually take my Bday off. But unless I mentioned that it was my bday I never got a Happy Birthday.

 

I even had to contact the regional secretary to even get recognized for my 5 yrs with the company.

 

Kymmie

 

 

[LindaMarie]

Sometimes gate keeping is necessary. Like when you are in the bathroom in

some dingy club, and no paper!!!! And as you sit, you think to yourself, glad I

hid this commodity. 

 

[Jamie68]

10 hours ago, Willow said:

Good morning 

 

Jamie, some people just don’t have the sense to know when to either say nothing or try to be accommodating.  Especially wait staff.  They should realize that the tip size could change based on the greeting.  Yes it can certainly make for a buzz kill after an otherwise good meal.

 

congratulations on your anniversary.  Which one was it?

 

Willow

 

 

51st. Thanks 😊 

[Jamie68]

Thank you all for your kind responses. You are the best group of friends ❤️ 

Yes, I know I'm in an unhealthy relationship. Have been for over 53 years. I still love my wife and I'm not ready to give up yet. I'm an optimist. I'm hoping for the best, or at least something I can live with. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and she stuck with me. I can stick with her too as long as she is working on supporting me. I do see improvement, albeit slowly 🐌. I'm sitting here in her room in the er. She is progressively getting worse with all her health conditions. I don't know how much longer she will be around. This is 3rd trip here since Christmas. Hope they don't need to keep her. There isn't an available room within a 24 hour drive of here. They call in a 5 state area. 🙁

[Jamie68]

5 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I work with the best people. A little while ago my manager came into my office as said he needed to talk to me. He had a concerned look on his face. My first thought was uh-oh, someone finally noticed I've been wearing mini-skirt to work. I went into his office through the back door and he closed it behind me. Then turns to me and says, wait I need another manager, follow me. So now I'm getting really worried especially since I did plow my jeep into my company car last weekend. So I followed him into our warehouse to meet with another manager. As we approached far side of the warehouse I noticed a bunch of my coworkers congregating in an area. OMG! It was a birthday trap! It was so sweet of them. They sang me happy birthday and had bought cup cakes. That in itself would have been enough but they still went a step further by having the cupcakes made with pink, white and blue frosting to show their love and support. Honestly, I don't know if I could have made it this far without them.

Liz, you do work with a really great group of people. You deserve this 🥰

[KymmieL]

Well the wife is at it again. She has coffee with a friend after work. (normal Thursday routine) She gets home at her normal Thurs time. Says barely half dozen words to me. 

She makes a call to someone, talking about game tickets. says about half dozen words again then she disappears upstairs.  Not a word about anything. I hear like she is at a video meeting. No big thing. She does an AA meeting on Mondays. now she is working the correction area of AA. I think that was the meeting tonight.

 

Since she most of the time has something to eat at her coffee get together, I make myself something. (bowl of white rice.) She comes down after her meeting, walks into the kitchen. I tell her I already ate. "Well, You didn't make me anything"

 

She makes her self some left overs(or something) She puts on Shrek 4.   She gets a call. I hear her talking about this game tickets, meeting this person at 6:30. I finally finish posting part of a story, join her to watch. I do hear it is a female on the other end.  She finishes her call. about ten minutes later, I asked her what is this game and when. "Oh, I don't know if they are having the game. so and so is going to let me know."

 

Well that is not what I asked, I think. She is keeping me in the dark more and more often. Later, after our two cups and a snack. (normal evening) She has nodded off. Waking up, she asks me if "I am going to get our second cup, and a couple cookies?"

I tell her, I already did and gave you a candy bar.  "Oh, That is right."  She'll probably tell me, "I told you about the game earlier this week/last week. You just forgot." She is always doing that. I swear she has got dementia/alzhimers

 

I am so confused on what to do anymore. I guess I will find out if and what game it is tomorrow. More than likely Uni of Wyoming basketball. I need to work on doing something to correct this.

 

Forgive me for my rambling. I just needed to talk about it, being I only have my friends here.

 

Kymmie

[Jamie68]

4 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Well the wife is at it again. She has coffee with a friend after work. (normal Thursday routine) She gets home at her normal Thurs time. Says barely half dozen words to me. 

She makes a call to someone, talking about game tickets. says about half dozen words again then she disappears upstairs.  Not a word about anything. I hear like she is at a video meeting. No big thing. She does an AA meeting on Mondays. now she is working the correction area of AA. I think that was the meeting tonight.

 

Since she most of the time has something to eat at her coffee get together, I make myself something. (bowl of white rice.) She comes down after her meeting, walks into the kitchen. I tell her I already ate. "Well, You didn't make me anything"

 

She makes her self some left overs(or something) She puts on Shrek 4.   She gets a call. I hear her talking about this game tickets, meeting this person at 6:30. I finally finish posting part of a story, join her to watch. I do hear it is a female on the other end.  She finishes her call. about ten minutes later, I asked her what is this game and when. "Oh, I don't know if they are having the game. so and so is going to let me know."

 

Well that is not what I asked, I think. She is keeping me in the dark more and more often. Later, after our two cups and a snack. (normal evening) She has nodded off. Waking up, she asks me if "I am going to get our second cup, and a couple cookies?"

I tell her, I already did and gave you a candy bar.  "Oh, That is right."  She'll probably tell me, "I told you about the game earlier this week/last week. You just forgot." She is always doing that. I swear she has got dementia/alzhimers

 

I am so confused on what to do anymore. I guess I will find out if and what game it is tomorrow. More than likely Uni of Wyoming basketball. I need to work on doing something to correct this.

 

Forgive me for my rambling. I just needed to talk about it, being I only have my friends here.

 

Kymmie

I'm sorry you're going through this. I really hate the mind games our wives play. I know they're struggling too, but then the communication needs to ramp up just because of this. I hope you gals can work through it.❤️

[Jamie68]

Sorry for bringing up this topic again.

I finally decided last night to get vaccinated after talking to the nurses at the er. (My wife knows them all because she's there so much). I've held off this long because of my wife. Especially because vaccinateded people are getting covid more with this new strain. I have 3 immune compromised people in my house that would not survive covid. After talking with a few well informed nurses, I found I don't have a great chance of surviving because of prone to bronchial asthma from allergies. I take allergy meds year round. It's one of those "Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't things". I figure if I get sick, no one will be here to care for my wife, especially if I don't survive. If I get sick after being vaccinated, at least I will survive to help at home. Personally, I want to live, more than ever now that I'm finally able to be myself. I hope I'm not sounding too selfish, but I really believe getting the shots is the better option.

 

[Elizabeth Star]

1 minute ago, Jamie68 said:

Sorry for bringing up this topic again.

I finally decided last night to get vaccinated after talking to the nurses at the er. (My wife knows them all because she's there so much). I've held off this long because of my wife. Especially because vaccinateded people are getting covid more with this new strain. I have 3 immune compromised people in my house that would not survive covid. After talking with a few well informed nurses, I found I don't have a great chance of surviving because of prone to bronchial asthma from allergies. I take allergy meds year round. It's one of those "Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't things". I figure if I get sick, no one will be here to care for my wife, especially if I don't survive. If I get sick after being vaccinated, at least I will survive to help at home. Personally, I want to live, more than ever now that I'm finally able to be myself. I hope I'm not sounding too selfish, but I really believe getting the shots is the better option.

 

Good for you. Yes you can still get it but it won't be nearly as bad if you do. I've been hearing the word selfish thrown around my home a lot lately. I don't feel that thinking and caring about yourself and your future is selfish. Most people reserve the number one spot for themselves anyways. They just need someone to #2 on when things are rough.

[Elizabeth Star]

5 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Well the wife is at it again. She has coffee with a friend after work. (normal Thursday routine) She gets home at her normal Thurs time. Says barely half dozen words to me. 

She makes a call to someone, talking about game tickets. says about half dozen words again then she disappears upstairs.  Not a word about anything. I hear like she is at a video meeting. No big thing. She does an AA meeting on Mondays. now she is working the correction area of AA. I think that was the meeting tonight.

 

Since she most of the time has something to eat at her coffee get together, I make myself something. (bowl of white rice.) She comes down after her meeting, walks into the kitchen. I tell her I already ate. "Well, You didn't make me anything"

 

She makes her self some left overs(or something) She puts on Shrek 4.   She gets a call. I hear her talking about this game tickets, meeting this person at 6:30. I finally finish posting part of a story, join her to watch. I do hear it is a female on the other end.  She finishes her call. about ten minutes later, I asked her what is this game and when. "Oh, I don't know if they are having the game. so and so is going to let me know."

 

Well that is not what I asked, I think. She is keeping me in the dark more and more often. Later, after our two cups and a snack. (normal evening) She has nodded off. Waking up, she asks me if "I am going to get our second cup, and a couple cookies?"

I tell her, I already did and gave you a candy bar.  "Oh, That is right."  She'll probably tell me, "I told you about the game earlier this week/last week. You just forgot." She is always doing that. I swear she has got dementia/alzhimers

 

I am so confused on what to do anymore. I guess I will find out if and what game it is tomorrow. More than likely Uni of Wyoming basketball. I need to work on doing something to correct this.

 

Forgive me for my rambling. I just needed to talk about it, being I only have my friends here.

 

Kymmie

Kind of sounds like she's tying to confuse you by only giving out pieces of information.

[Guest]

22 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

Sorry for bringing up this topic again.

I finally decided last night to get vaccinated after talking to the nurses at the er. (My wife knows them all because she's there so much). I've held off this long because of my wife. Especially because vaccinateded people are getting covid more with this new strain. I have 3 immune compromised people in my house that would not survive covid. After talking with a few well informed nurses, I found I don't have a great chance of surviving because of prone to bronchial asthma from allergies. I take allergy meds year round. It's one of those "Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't things". I figure if I get sick, no one will be here to care for my wife, especially if I don't survive. If I get sick after being vaccinated, at least I will survive to help at home. Personally, I want to live, more than ever now that I'm finally able to be myself. I hope I'm not sounding too selfish, but I really believe getting the shots is the better option.

 

Yes, you are likely to get Omicron even if you’re vaccinated and boosted, but the chances of being severely I’ll are greatly diminished. Omicron is spreading like wildfire where I work but most of my coworkers are sick for a couple of days. Take care of yourself.

[Jamie68]

19 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I've been hearing the word selfish thrown around my home a lot lately.

Another example of how much alike we are. 

[KathyLauren]

26 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

Sorry for bringing up this topic again.

I finally decided last night to get vaccinated after talking to the nurses at the er. (My wife knows them all because she's there so much). I've held off this long because of my wife. Especially because vaccinateded people are getting covid more with this new strain. I have 3 immune compromised people in my house that would not survive covid. After talking with a few well informed nurses, I found I don't have a great chance of surviving because of prone to bronchial asthma from allergies. I take allergy meds year round. It's one of those "Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't things". I figure if I get sick, no one will be here to care for my wife, especially if I don't survive. If I get sick after being vaccinated, at least I will survive to help at home. Personally, I want to live, more than ever now that I'm finally able to be myself. I hope I'm not sounding too selfish, but I really believe getting the shots is the better option.

 

Good decision, Jamie!  
 

From my position, lying in a hospital with pneumonia and a collapsed lung (not Covid-related), I am scared spitless of catching Covid on top of all this.  Even a mild case would do me in.  Everything people can do to limit the spread of the virus helps, especially vaccination.  Thank you!

[Guest]

I’ve achieved Geranium Member Status! Where’s my cake?

[Jamie68]

Just now, Erica Gabriel said:

I’ve achieved Geranium Member Status! Where’s my cake?

🎂 ❤️

[Maddee]

Hang on @KathyLauren

No matter what please.

 

Found out a couple weeks back that showing vaxx card is mandatory for my surgeries.  So glad  I thought of that last summer.  If I hadn’t done it then, there wouldn’t have been enough time to get it done before my upcoming procedures 

 

(that is, my procedures that haven’t been postponed due to Dr Omicron).  
 

I’m at a private clinic next week, but anything can happen….I guess my fingers are crossed…

And I believe.

 

 

 

 

 

Healthy blessings to you Kathy, and anyone reading this who is not well

[Jamie68]

13 minutes ago, Maddee said:

Hang on @KathyLauren

No matter what please.

 

Found out a couple weeks back that showing vaxx card is mandatory for my surgeries.  So glad  I thought of that last summer.  If I hadn’t done it then, there wouldn’t have been enough time to get it done before my upcoming procedures 

 

(that is, my pricedures that haven’t been postponed due to Dr Omicron).  
 

I’m at a private clinic next week, but anything can happen….I guess my fingers are crossed…

And I believe.

 

 

 

 

 

Healthy blessings to you Kathy, and anyone reading this who is not well

Yeah, I've thought about this also. Already I have to provide a negative covid test result for my electrolysis appointment in early Feb. That could change at any time to having to show a vaxx card. Hopefully all this covid crap will settle down soon. I'm #192 on waiting list for bottom surgery. At the rate it's going, it'll be 4 years before it's time. I'll be 73 yrs old. I am going to have to rethink everything.😒

[Willow]

Good morning. TGIF I guess.

 

@Jamie68  great minds etal.  I was going to post a cake but you beat me to it.  😀

 

@KathyLauren I’m so sorry you have pneumonia and are in the hospital.  
 

Everyone, yes we all are far more alike in so many ways.  Our stories are nearly word for word as I read them here.  About the only difference I see is wives.  Some quit early and get a divorce.  Some can’t figure out what to do and make themselves and us miserable.  And a few manage to get past that stage.  Even if they won’t ever be happy about it they at least aren’t mean and spiteful.

 

in turn, we have to decide our own situation.  Jamie is doing a wonderful job of caring for her wife.  Kymmie it seems can’t do anything right.  And still others Hey I’m going to the store do you need anything?  My wife and I do just about everything together and have for as long as we’ve known each other.   It took several years, lots of tears and lots of talks to get to this point.  If I’m reading a book or posting that supports something I’ve  been telling her about myself and being transgender,  I’ll ask her to read it too (just that paragraph).  That has helped us.

 

not liking the weekend weather forecast. Most of SC is expecting winter weather.  Snow in the far west, ice in the midlands,  ice and rain in the PeeDee and up to 3” of rain on the coast.  I have to go out and get a propane tank filled.  I may see what else we might need and brave the grocery store.

 

Jamie, latest boat up date, with a known 5 gallons of diesel in the tank, my gauge still reads 0.  Now it could be a bad sending unit, a bad connection or a mismatch of the ohms of the two .  I need to take my meter and check if the resistance changed from empty to 5 gallons and if it did, reprogram the gauge.  No change new sending unit.  Always something to fix on a 35 year old boat when it had no maintenance at all for ten years.

 

First cup gone.  Next is my E shot.

 

make the best of your day, we never know how many we have left.

 

love y’all 

 

Willow

[Jamie68]

11 minutes ago, Willow said:

with a known 5 gallons of diesel in the tank, my gauge still reads 0.  Now it could be a bad sending unit, a bad connection or a mismatch of the ohms of the two .  I need to take my meter and check if the resistance changed from empty to 5 gallons and if it did, reprogram the gauge.  No change new sending unit.  Always something to fix on a 35 year old boat when it had no maintenance at all for ten years.

Sounds like my house. It's old, and there's always something to fix. As far as the fuel tank goes, good luck. Electrical stuff is usually a pain to diagnose. Worst case, install a sight glass or stick a tape measure in it every once in a while for level check. You know apx how many hours a tank should last.

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

From my position, lying in a hospital with pneumonia and a collapsed lung (not Covid-related), I am scared spitless of catching Covid on top of all this

Wow, i was so into my own crap that I totally missed the fact that you're in the hospital. I hope you get well soon. The hospital is a scary place now.❤️

[Jackie C.]

2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good for you. Yes you can still get it but it won't be nearly as bad if you do. I've been hearing the word selfish thrown around my home a lot lately. I don't feel that thinking and caring about yourself and your future is selfish. Most people reserve the number one spot for themselves anyways. They just need someone to #2 on when things are rough.

 

Sure, but trans people... don't. Not when we're in the closet anyway. I think our spouses get used to how we are when we're in denial and hate ourselves just SO much that we always put others first. Then when our egg cracks, we're suddenly "selfish" because we don't make our SOs the absolute center of our universe anymore and want things for ourselves.

 

I'm still bad at this. I had a bit of a windfall (I sold my body to science for a drug test) and decided that I'd spend half of it and put the other half in the bank. I got something for my mom. I got something for my SO. Yesterday I FINALLY got something for me, but only because it was on sale.

 

Self-love for trans people can be kind of a struggle sometimes.

 

Hugs!

[stveee]

30 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Self-love for trans people can be kind of a struggle sometimes.

 

 

I always used to wonder what all that "Pride" stuff was about, Gay Pride, LGBT Pride. .but pride is the opposite of SHAME.

And shame followed me around since I can remember, even shame about my accomplishments and talents. It colored my perception and every decision I made. SHAME corroded my sense of even actually existing. It slowly chokes off everything that makes life worthwhile, a sort of curse, a living death. SHAME says you deserve less and less, it aims to deprive whoever else is around, too.

 

But I am now among family and friends who understand my SHAME and can lovingly lead out of the darkness. I don't need to live that way anymore.

So Be It.