Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Jackie C.]

7 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

As far as hobbies and stuff. I'm still trying to figure out what I actually do and don't like. I've realized that a lot of what I did was nothing more than a hyper-masculine cover. For now I'm exploring my new world.

 

OMG this. SO much this. If you lived closer we could form a support group.

 

Though, again, exposing myself to the lesbian horde (and they are amazing by the way and I love them all), I'm coming more to grips with who I actually am and what I like to do. I missed me. It's nice to be getting her back.

 

Hugs!

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

That sounds really healthy @Elizabeth Star

It does sound like you're beginning to move on in your own way.

[Ivy]

26 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm still trying to figure out what I actually do and don't like. I've realized that a lot of what I did was nothing more than a hyper-masculine cover.

This has been an issue for me as well.  

How much of what I did (and didn't do) was trying to fit the mold expected of me.

I'm still discovering how much of my "identity" I was letting be determined by the environment and people around me.

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

Solid overcast today.  Bad weather heading our way, but clearing out quickly. Cold on Saturday.  I’m hoping my fuel sensor is here and the it’s the right one.  It’s the last thing I need.  A water tank gauge would be nice but not really necessary.  If I ever go out for an extended I’ll carry extra anyway.  
 

@Elizabeth Star I’m sure you will have both good and bad days, but it sounds like you are dealing rather well.  Finding other like minded groups where you can meet up and just find your way sounds like a good idea to me.  
 

hugs to everyone 

 

Willow

[Bri2020]

5 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm gonna be honest. I have no idea how to find a lesbian specific group. Google is not being very helpful.

meetup.com

[Teri Anne]

Liz it does sound like you are moving on and thats a good thing.

Now is your opportunity to spread your wings and just be yourself.

When my second wife left it opened up my world so to speak and I was free to live my life anyway I chose.

[Mmindy]

@Elizabeth Star It is good to hear that you're doing well now and don't dismiss that later on something may well up in emotions. I also understand the feeling of relief when a loved one is going through such a tough illness for a real long time, and then their passing away is a relief for everyone, because of the battle is over.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy

[Elizabeth Star]

3 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

meetup.com

I found that site shortly after my last post. I found a group about 30 minutes from me. They meet once a week and I think it would help me get routine going and they meet in a church so It'll force to get out of the house.

 

2 hours ago, Teri Anne said:

Liz it does sound like you are moving on and thats a good thing.

Now is your opportunity to spread your wings and just be yourself.

When my second wife left it opened up my world so to speak and I was free to live my life anyway I chose.

I've seen how short life really is and don't want to waste it.

 

2 hours ago, Mmindy said:

@Elizabeth Star It is good to hear that you're doing well now and don't dismiss that later on something may well up in emotions. I also understand the feeling of relief when a loved one is going through such a tough illness for a real long time, and then their passing away is a relief for everyone, because of the battle is over.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy

Thank you for understanding. I just don't want people to think less of me.

[Guest]

@Elizabeth Star one of the topics in a zoom group I participated in yesterday is how difficult it is to make friends as you get older. Hobbies and interests don’t really need to change but your perspective about them might.

[Ivy]

4 hours ago, Teri Anne said:

When my second wife left it opened up my world so to speak and I was free to live my life anyway I chose.

When my marriage broke up as painful as it was, it freed me to be able to see myself better.  Up till then, I thought of everything in terms of that relationship.  

[Teri Anne]

Exactly Jandi.

I got to see how used I was.

I was just a source of income for someone that didn't care about me.

[Guest]

I do my own thing in my marriage and she supports me and she does her thing and I’m cool with it. However, especially with transition, we are finding fewer things that we have in common other than shared experiences. We have sort of a détente right now because we still love each other.

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you for understanding. I just don't want people to think less of me.

I don't believe anyone who really knows you will think bad of you. ❤

[Aggie1]

2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

found that site shortly after my last post. I found a group about 30 minutes from me. They meet once a week and I think it would help me get routine going and they meet in a church so It'll force to get out of the house.

In some ways you are a young lady who has just arrived in town and are looking to get established. You opened up a bank account. That’s the first thing I would do! You checked out the social scene on meetup. Maybe the group will be a good fit and maybe not. Maybe you will meet someone there and they may introduce you to someone else? Maybe the next time you visit the bank the lady you talked to will mention something you both have in common and you will meet someone else through them? Maybe maybe maybe!!! 😊 

 

you really are starting a brand new life. You will see the town for the first time through new eyes. You will experience a thousand “I never knew…” moments. 
 

it’s going to be awesome. Your Star will rise!

[JoniSteph]

@Elizabeth Star you are moving on at your own pace and doing well at it. You will have times which you may feel otherwise, but with the new experiences and people that you will be meeting, so much stronger for the better.

 

Being busy will be your best friend whether at work, play or relaxing with others.

 

As you said, life is short enough so enjoy each moment you have.

 

No where but up for you now Liz, take the ride of a lifetime.

 

Big Canadian Hugs

JoniSteph

 

[Mmindy]

4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you for understanding. I just don't want people to think less of me

Lizzy, no one here will judge you for how you choose to move through your grief process. In the case of my mother’s passing, she existed in a dementia ward for so many years. That when she passed, my siblings and I, spent more time consoling the staff than we did each other. This is because we had started our mourning process when mom was no longer recognized as the loving person she was before her horrible battle with Alzheimer’s. 

You be you, and we’ll be here for you.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Becoming Diana]

I curled my hair today and I love the result.  It makes me feel so feminine.  But on a slightly disturbing note I realized I look a lot like my mother and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.  She passed twenty odd years ago and she was around my current age when she died.  I often wonder how she would have reacted if I'd come out to her as trans. Sadly I will never know the answer to that.

[Charlotte Ye Ye]

3 hours ago, Becoming Diana said:

I curled my hair today and I love the result.  It makes me feel so feminine.  But on a slightly disturbing note I realized I look a lot like my mother and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.  She passed twenty odd years ago and she was around my current age when she died.  I often wonder how she would have reacted if I'd come out to her as trans. Sadly I will never know the answer to that.

“Every woman becomes their mother. That's their tragedy. And no man becomes his. That's his tragedy.”  Algernon Moncrieff

[Charlotte Ye Ye]

Be Yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.

[Bri2020]

6 hours ago, Becoming Diana said:

 I often wonder how she would have reacted if I'd come out to her as trans. Sadly I will never know the answer to that.

I'm in the same boat. My mom was one of the most loving people I've ever met (tied with my sister who took after her in almost every way). I was definitely the apple of her eye so I'm sure it would have been tough for her to "loose" her son whom she loved so much but I feel in the end, she would have been accepting and happy for me.

2 hours ago, Charlotte Ye Ye said:

“Every woman becomes their mother. That's their tragedy. And no man becomes his. That's his tragedy.”  Algernon Moncrieff

Well that's not quite true anymore. lol

[Bri2020]

Post op Day 6: Things have caught up to me today.  I've been trying to avoid/minimize the narcotics for pain control since I ended up addicted to them after a back surgery many years ago but I think that has led to its own problems. Eating and drinking is hard after FFS and the constant pain has exhausted me to the point of not pushing myself to eat/drink enough. I've lost 10lbsand am weak as shiit right now. I'm heading in to urgent care to get some IV fluids/electrolytes this morning. I'm guessing just on weight I am behind by 2 litres of fluids.  My skin is like parchment (skin looks like I'm 80 years old) and I'm struggling to concentrate .  

Point of the story- follow your Drs orders post op.  I will be fine but I probably would have felt much better energy wise all week if I had managed my pain appropriately.  Then eating/drinking wouldn't have been so hard (it's been painful)

 

[Jamie68]

7 hours ago, Becoming Diana said:

But on a slightly disturbing note I realized I look a lot like my mother and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.

I have 2 wigs. One makes me look like my oldest sister and the other like my 2nd oldest sister. I don't want to look like either, so I went to the place where I bought the better quality one and had them trim/style it. It's synthetic so it will pretty much keep this. Much better now. 😊

[Guest]

40 minutes ago, Bri2020 said:

Post op Day 6: Things have caught up to me today.  I've been trying to avoid/minimize the narcotics for pain control since I ended up addicted to them after a back surgery many years ago but I think that has led to its own problems. Eating and drinking is hard after FFS and the constant pain has exhausted me to the point of not pushing myself to eat/drink enough. I've lost 10lbsand am weak as shiit right now. I'm heading in to urgent care to get some IV fluids/electrolytes this morning. I'm guessing just on weight I am behind by 2 litres of fluids.  My skin is like parchment (skin looks like I'm 80 years old) and I'm struggling to concentrate .  

Point of the story- follow your Drs orders post op.  I will be fine but I probably would have felt much better energy wise all week if I had managed my pain appropriately.  Then eating/drinking wouldn't have been so hard (it's been painful)

 

I understand your reluctance to pop the string stuff too and I’ve never had anything stronger than Tylenol (though that will change ✂️ 🍆). After all this is done and your being flirted with and your figure complimented you can just say it was because of the FFS diet plan.

[Guest]

Good morning from the front range of Colorado where winter equilibrium has been restored and we be gettin’ regular snow again. Another 2-4 today. I’m enjoying the week off and have lots of social plans today. I’m also helping my oldest daughter prepare to leave for Korea next week where she will teach English for a year. I’m going to miss her terribly but I’m also very happy for her.

[Bri2020]

3 minutes ago, Erica Gabriel said:

 After all this is done and your being flirted with and your figure complimented you can just say it was because of the FFS diet plan.

This has gotten me down to my goal weight but it's an illusion. It's mostly fluids and muscle loss. At this point, my goal is to not let myself drop more than 1-3 lbs more. I mean, you are going to drop weight anytime you are forced to limit your diet to fluids/puree but you want to make sure you don't lose muscle mass and bone density from malnutrition in the process.  I hate to think about it but my spring will have to involve a workout program.  My surgeon wants me to "truly rest" for 4-6 weeks, no working, exercising or stress.