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Non-Binary and Gender Non-Conforming Support Forum

44 topics in this forum

  1. Am I alone in being this way ? 1 2 3 4 5

    • 111 replies
  2. What Makes Non-Binary A Good Fit For You? 1 2

    • 37 replies
  3. Non binary - Are we invisible ?

    • 20 replies
    • 14 replies
  4. Neopronouns...

    • 13 replies
  5. Surgery

    • 11 replies
  6. HRT as nonbinary?

    • 9 replies
  7. How to live with prejudice

    • 9 replies
  8. Top surgery

    • 9 replies
  9. Non-binary Bathing Suits

    • 9 replies
  10. HRT requirements

    • 7 replies
  11. Genderfluid ??

    • 7 replies
  12. My non-binary Story

    • 6 replies
    • 6 replies
  13. How can you become neither?

    • 6 replies
  14. Is my name gender neutral?

    • 6 replies
  15. Nonbinary tucking?

    • 6 replies
  16. Hay im new here

    • 6 replies
  17. Irony and Weddings

    • 6 replies
  18. Historical Non-Binary Question

    • 6 replies
  19. Help on reversing effects of testosterone ?

    • 5 replies
  20. Surgery and Transitioning

    • 5 replies
  21. Name Change

    • 5 replies
  22. Physical fitness

    • 5 replies
  23. Diagnosis

    • 4 replies
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  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Carolyn Marie, I had no idea your coming out to your wife went very similarly to my experience with it.  I can only add that we canceled all appointments and obligations shortly after I dropped the bomb and talked nearly non-stop for 4 straight days.  It was a slow process to go from understanding to acceptance to eventually affirming my decision to become the woman I am.   Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      ShawnaLeigh, I know it’s not much consolation but I care about you along with many others here and am hoping for a positive outcome for you...I’m hoping this will come and pass quickly.  It’s normal to be afraid but you are strong and can get through this.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      KathyLauren’s recommendation, imo, is a very good idea.  35 years ago, I was in college and was cash poor with no credit and therapy was not affordable for me.  When I was in need of support, I looked elsewhere.  While reading through an alternative newspaper called The Weekly here in the Seattle area and found a local support group serving TS/TV individuals.  I called the organization up and got info about the group and then showed up for a meeting a week later.  It was the best decision I had made for myself up to that point.  I met several people that eventually became friends, allies, and I considered part of my extended family. If you can afford a therapist, you might also take advantage of that option too.  I’d try to make sure they have some experience with gender issues.  During my second go around with my gender issues, it proved to be a great help in discovering myself and getting me going in the right direction for my life.   Susan R🌷
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Well it’s the evening before I go have this lump checked out.  I am feeling nervous about it but trying to not think about it or at least play it down as I’ve had something very similar a long while ago but that’s not working tonight for me.  Im afraid.  🥺😢
    • KathyLauren
      I would recommend seeing a therapist or counsellor who specializes in gender issues.  You are likely to need a recommendation from one before anyone in the medical field can help you, so it's the logical place to start.  And of course, the benefits to you, in terms of understanding yourself and what your goals are, are valuable in themselves.
    • Juelie_Atlas
      So I'm curious about where y'all started your journey into transition. I have thought about finding a therapist first, but then I have my family Dr has recommended seeing someone in the medical field... I'm just not sure where to start. Any suggestions?
    • Carolyn Marie
      I sat down with my wife and looked her in the eyes and told her my story.  I went chronologically from my earliest childhood memories, through my cross dressing years, what I felt when we got married, my thinking that it would "cure" me, up to the (then) present day, and what I planned to do.  I told her that I would understand if she wanted to leave me, but that I hoped she wouldn't.  I said that she could ask me any question, and that it was important that we continue to communicate with each other.  She agreed with me that we should not tell our son at that time.   She was shocked, scared for our future, angry, confused, and every other emotion you could imagine.  I won't bore you with the details of the next 8-12 months, but in the end she accepted it, continued to love me, and eventually told her family.  It was not easy for either of us, but she has come to see how happy I am now, and that our lives have not (for the most part) changed for the worse.   Give your wife lots of time, be honest, be empathic and understanding, and be prepared for the possibility that it might be the end of your relationship.  Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.  That's about all you can do.  Good luck!   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • ShawnaLeigh
      My wife was about as positive and accepting as I could of hoped for. After a short while as it took getting past the shock of it first.  Like Jackie said.  Definitely have a plan B just in case it goes terribly wrong. I did not do this and was basically facing homelessness due to being almost completely dependent on my wife.  My fear and anxiety was threw the roof over that.  I was lucky she was understanding to what being trans meant.   Having a good understanding of what’s going on with yourself helps too.  I told my wife when I was basically clueless to what was really going on with me.  i was scared and confused and I did not know I was what I ended up being.  My coming out followed s significant mental break over my internal struggles and I was just trying to reach out for help.  I had no answers for her questions and it was a very emotional and stressful thing for me to do.  Therapy is key here.  Knowing you are going will help ease her fears for you.  Most will be glad to invite your wife in too to answer some things.   There is also Transcouples therapy too if it’s needed.   once my wifes initial shock had subsided she got very stoic and logical about it all.  Which helped because I was a blubbering mess for three days.  I truly was not prepared.   be prepared ahead of time would of been so much better.   Youalready sound to be getting yourself prepared and also getting resources lined up and this is excellent.   Good Luck❤️
    • KathyLauren
      I notice there isn't a flag for Nova Scotia.  I don't know if I can find an animated one, but I can send a static one if that is useful.   Regards, Kathy
    • KathyLauren
      I understand that my experience may not be typical, but it went about as well as one could imagine.   We were walking the dog, which is a good time for us to talk.  I said I had something I wanted to talk about and that it wasn't going to be easy.  Then I said I was pretty sure I was transgender.  She had some immediate questions like why thought so, why I hadn't told her before that, and what I planned to do.  I was  as honest as I could be in answering, and I caught the "trick questions" lurking in there, i.e. had I been hiding something from her, and was I going to leave her.  It went well, and within a minute or two, she said, "Whatever you decide to do, I will support you."  Wow!   What could have gone wrong?  I could have started seeing a therapist before talking to her.  She would have seen that as a betrayal.  She deserved to be the first to know.  I could have missed the trick questions, i.e. "What are you going to do?" means "Are you going to leave me?"  Fortunately, I anticipated them.   Once I got set up with a support group, I brought her along to their "+1" sessions where significant others are welcome.  That helped her a lot.
    • Jackie C.
      Honestly, I've had that fantasy. Generally female morphology, female gonads, but both sexual organs. It was a pre-transition thing though. I haven't been there... outside of a dream or two... in a while. I've heard other people talking about it though in less wholesome forums.   Hugs!
    • Devin
      Does anyone feel like they should have both a vagina and a penis?
    • jayjeep
      I had the same issue with my Top surgery. My surgeon gave me solace. Said to take them before surgery and after. They helped but it took about 5 days for them to work. Lots of water. High fiber fruits like Blueberries, Bananas, and apples. I was lucky I never had to take any pain meds. I was sick as a dog day 1 but that is because I got a migraine right after surgery. I only needed advil for about a week. I will be 3 months post op next week. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, Devin.  Big congrats on your progress so far.  That's great for someone so young.  Please have a look around and post in any thread that looks interesting, or start some threads of your own.  We'll be here to provide whatever advice or info that we can.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Jackie C.
      Meh, labels. The only one that matters is "Devin." Welcome to Transpulse!   I think you'll find us a welcoming and supportive community. Please look around, ask questions and join the discussion! We're happy to meet you!   Hugs!
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