A Place To Say Something

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Might have to resume my job hunt. I feel like at 26 I should know what I want to do with my life (aside from transitioning), but I still haven't found the one thing I'm good at.

Don't feel bad.. I'm 28 and I haven't even had a Job since I was 17.. I'm just now going back to College.

[Guest RockmtalQueen]

Might have to resume my job hunt. I feel like at 26 I should know what I want to do with my life (aside from transitioning), but I still haven't found the one thing I'm good at.

Don't feel bad.. I'm 28 and I haven't even had a Job since I was 17.. I'm just now going back to College.

That's what I ultimately want to do, and /hugs for the cheer-up

/Hugs

Lexi ^^

[Guest Sarah Faith]

You would do fine! I used to be terrified at the idea of trying college again. Its alot easier to get the ball rolling then I ever thought.

[Guest Bellexia]

Might have to resume my job hunt. I feel like at 26 I should know what I want to do with my life (aside from transitioning), but I still haven't found the one thing I'm good at.

Don't feel bad.. I'm 28 and I haven't even had a Job since I was 17.. I'm just now going back to College.

My work history has been sketchy at best myself. I need to get back into school, my break has been too long Masters in psychology here I come!

[Guest Bellexia]

Random note. Kinda irritated that my gf is being so distant... I can't even get her to talk to me much lately. The one I did get was a rather giddy text that wasn't addressed to me. Gotta keep on anyway though. Won't get depressed though. Gotta make myself happy.

[Guest NightRainRaven]

I just felt like sharing something with everyone here before I head to bed.

I went out fully as myself tonight! I wore a cute black knitted top that show off more skin than I care to admit A tight black mid thigh skirt that zippered in the back and a sexy little long sleeve cape thingy that my friend gave me that is knitted as well - a kind of... 90's, San Francisco goth look hehe Anyway it was extremely comfortable. I did my make up how I usually do. - Shave, foundation, powder, Mascara and lip stick. I just got out of the bath before that so I let my hair air dry, which results in very wavy/curls..

I then fixed my cleavage and grabbed my 3 inch heels from the closet, saying bye to my roommate as I sneaked down the stairs. Trying to avoid the shwish, shwish sound my skirt was making. I put my shoes on out side and strolled to my car. Getting in legs closed and proper, I adjusted the seat and backed out of my driveway On the way to my destination my heart raced with excitement as I practiced speaking out loud. Making sure that I was happy with how I sounded as I was determined to fully pass today

A short drive later I pulled up to my destination and lowered my window waiting for the response.

"Hello, Can I take your order please?" A male voice asked.

"Yes!" I blurted out a little to forcefully. Composing myself quickly I finished the line I rehearsed in the car. "I would like the 6 piece Chicken McNuggets please" flawlessly the voice sounding magical to my ears. I was so proud of my self when panic quickly took over.
"Would you like the Trio?" he replied. Crap I totally forgot about that stuff.

"Yes" I blurted out quickly calming down again.
"Would you like Coke to drink?" He continued
"Yes I would: I chimed.
"OK your total will be $$$ pull up to the second window."

The moment of truth - face to face communication - I practiced speaking out loud as the line of cars ahead of me got smaller and smaller. One more car... Hair! check, Cleavage! check, pull down skirt that rode a little high while driving Check! I pull up and waited with money in hand.

"Hello, that will be $$$ please"

I mechanically gave him the money while never looking his direction and accepted the change with a similar fashion

As he went to get the food I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself to breath..... and to smile! I looked like nervous wreck. This caused me to laugh out loud, as I was getting stressed out over Chicken McNuggets. I was smiling when he came back to the window and I looked right into his eyes, as I could feel mine were sparkling.

"Thank you" I replied as I took the order.

"Your welcome and have a good night!" smiling in return when said it.

I felt so good from that I drove over to the coffee drive thru to do it again. This time I even asked for a tray to hold the drinks and I did not once get a vibe that something was out of place.

As he wished me a good night I was on cloud nine. I sang with the radio on the way home and as I type this 5 hrs later I am still glowing. hehe Now I know I might be reading too much into this as I did only go to 2 drive thru... - Oh and a bank - I had to get out of my car and walk to the bank to pull out money. That means I am defiantly on camera! hehe and they are in the customer service industry, so they might have just been polite because they like their job.

That is all. I hope you all enjoyed the story.

Best Wishes

<3 Samantha

[Guest Tamar]

Well done Samantha. . Congratulations.

[Guest]

You go Girl, Samantha!

Great progress was made. A smile will go a long way.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Amber Lynn]

Samantha, that's amazing! I'm so proud of you, perhaps I'll be able to do something like that as well, one day...

Your story made my night.

Gina

[Guest Jaques]

well Samantha, i never knew ordering chicken nuggets could be so exciting. lol!

[Guest RockmtalQueen]

Congratulations Samantha, I bet those workers never suspected a thing

/hugs

Lexi ^^

[Guest JazzySmurf]

Over the past two days, I just graded a midterm exam, and three sets of homeworks. Kablwahie! I'm going to go home and take a bath :-)

[Guest Jaques]

I missed the Green Man festival and might have to miss going to see my grand daughter and staying at my sons at weekend because for the lst time in years i have a really nasty cold - which my missus gave me, so feeling pretty lousy - still we have sunshine and yesterday the lst flower appeared in my strawberry patch and the wild garlic i picked in woods last year and put in my herb garden has come up with beautiful white flowers - and a bonus, a neighbour gave me a small greenhouse he didnt want - is it a sign of old age when you talk about gardening - my missus reckons it is? Ive become an old bore - oh well i never did like discos and wild parties, lol!

[Guest Bellexia]

I am invisible, to the people here, to my own family, to my own friends. Oh but on the bright side I went to get a cheeseburger and passed. I filled out like 100 applications. I get to call back each and everyone one of those. Hopefully I get a job, I sure as heck didn't get the walgreens one. My pain is my problem, it will remain between me and that semi I walk in front of one day. Then everyone can say how much they knew me, how much they cared.

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Bellexia, You are not invisible I assure you of that! We are here for you, you can always send any one of the mods here a PM if you need to talk to someone, you can also go to the chatrooms the mods there can help you as well if you need more real time chat. We really are here for you hon.

Big Hugs,

Sarah

[Guest Bellexia]

Yeah I am just not sure of all that. I talk in chat from time to time. I just feel like a ghost here, a black sheep.

[Guest Sarah Faith]

You can PM a Mod if you need someone to talk to, I jump in chat from time to time and there are times where Im pretty much ignored but when I start actively talking about whatever is going on people notice. You just gotta get involved in chat. If there is something you need help with and need to talk through really you can just PM a mod either here on the forums, or in chat. We'll try to answer you as quickly as we can here on the forums if we are at our PCs, the Chat mods will of course help you out more in real time.

You are not a black sheep, nor are you a ghost I have even tried reaching out to you! We are here for you any time really.

[Guest angels wings]

Bellexia we hear you lovey ((((((((((((hugs))))))))) you are important to us you are part of this wonderful group . We are all here for each other , I'm sorry to hear you feel this way I hope you begin to feel the warmth here lovey . Hold her headed up high lovey .

Thinking of you

Angel (((((((((((hugs))))))))

[mara13]

Bellexia, I don't post as often as others here, but that is because I'm still getting used to being here, and don't want to inadvertently say the wrong thing. But I assure you that if I see something that needs to be said I will say it. You are very much loved here, by me, and the others. Like Sarah said, if you need to talk about something, you can always PM a mod, or even me if you would like. We are all here for you.

[Guest]

I am invisible, to the people here, to my own family, to my own friends. Oh but on the bright side I went to get a cheeseburger and passed. I filled out like 100 applications. I get to call back each and everyone one of those. Hopefully I get a job, I sure as heck didn't get the walgreens one. My pain is my problem, it will remain between me and that semi I walk in front of one day. Then everyone can say how much they knew me, how much they cared.

Back in the day, a friend and I had a private conversation that we both wanted to walk out in front of a truck. We shared not just any semi truck, but each our favorites. He wanted to go via a wide nosed blue metalflake Peterbilt. I wanted to go via a pure bright white narrow nose Pete, blazing chrome coming out of the sunset. We shared about everything in life that was bugging us. Soon we were laughing again regardless of the pain and problems. We nick named our condtion Peterbilt Syndrome. Sometimes when we saw each other hanging out, we would laugh and ask the other "How's your Peterbilt Syndrome?" Other friends would look like us like we were nuts! I'm so glad that niether of us found our end by that means.

I would be a liar, if I said I never have thoughts of parking myself under a bus. Some days are really rough. I do want to see how my adventure ends. On those days I remember him, Peterbilt Syndrome and I stay away from the freeway. It is always a "This too shall pass" moment, or day, or days. Not long though.

You are not invisable, you are a part of the family here. If you get that dreaded truck tire print on your shirt in your mind, please feel free to PM me. I'm not here as much as I used to be, but I will reply as soon as I see it. You are worth it! Hug the hope. JodyAnn

[Guest]

Whoooooo it's a chicken roaster today.

34 degrees C(about 94 F) in this pit I'm in.

Couldn't bare digging anymore.

Supposed to start monsooning tomorrow though.

Just sayin'.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Bellexia]

Thank you all for the encouragement but I think I am through. I just can't find a single reason to go on... I just feel so hollow... I need to plan this out. I don't know what I will do...

[MaryEllen]

If you give it up now, you'll never know what you might have accomplished. Why not stick around and see what happens. These dark days won't last forever. Good things can and will happen, but if you give up, they won't. At least think about it.

MaryEllen

[Guest angels wings]

Bellexia please go to chat and talk with one of our crisis moderators there . You deserve to be happy you deserve to smile . Sometimes the road is hard and we can't see a way to move forward but I know and you know in your heart there is always a way . You can get through this . Remember the clouds don't rain forever . Thinking of you . We are here for you

Angel (((((((((hugs)))))))filled hope

[Guest Bellexia]

Maybe tomorrow. I am giving it until the 18th to shape up. I just am going to go back to sleep again.