A Place To Say Something

[Guest]

Zayden, somebody's shoulder is always available here.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Tamar]

Well its been about ten months overdue, but yesterday I strapped on a day pack and went for a walk.

Best........day........ever!

[Guest LauraJen]

Sundays. How I hate Sundays. It's that time of the week where the three of us are always together. I sit and eat my breakfast and remember that I am sitting between the two people that have held me back for more than seven years. I have no freedom here, and I am a young man of nearly 23, just the way my mum likes it.

Also to make matters worse the highest temperature today is going to be 27^oC (80.6^oF), and it is already baking hot outside. I hate it when the weather is like this. I have to stay covered up because of me shaving my legs, which means spending the whole day hot, sticky and uncomfortable. My mum is putting pressure on me to wear shorts, although thankfully my dad is defending me on that. We never really get more than a few days of this at a time in this country, which is a good thing for me at the moment, although I just want to get out there and make the most of it like most other people. At the moment, I really hate this sort of weather.

My grandfather is coming up later as well. He's probably going to mention the shorts thing as well.

I get jealous of what women can get away with wearing during hot weather as well, which really doesn't help with the dysphoria. Still I feel for the trans guys having to wear binders :-(.

So yes, today doesn't look like it will be a good day.

[Guest Jamie_cd]

Hey Laura, I'm sorry you're having a hard time with your parents. Wear what's comfortable for you and be happy! At least that's how I am. I shave my legs and under my arms but still wear shorts or tank tops around people who don't know about the real me yet. If something comes up then obviously ill tell them. But yeah just be you and screw what everyone else says!

[VickySGV]

80 is actually a nice cool temperature where I live, in fact too cool to wear shorts!!

[Guest ClareJuliette]

80 would be a major heat wave here. I understand the problem though not from shaved legs. Years ago I used to self harm a bit which meant keeping legs and arms covered in the heat. (When I say 'a bit' I mean it - lots of little cuts nothing too deep so there are very few scars now. Hooray!) And having to keep covered is horrible.

But for shaved legs just dress comfortable. Plenty of guys do it now for various reasons. (Appearance, sport, and so on) So if you need an excuse and an answer to prying questions just be creative if you like.

So I can understand the difficulty - and the jealousy of what women can wear. Battle through and hope for a summer like 2012, just without floods.

[Guest ClareJuliette]

Well my dear mother posted a very personal message about her thoughts on me being transgender on my wall on facebook and shared it with friends of friends.

She wasn't trying to publicly out me but might have done a damn good job depending on who saw it before it got deleted.

So my brain hasn't shut up and I've had zero hours of sleep which will add to the challenges of the day.

[Guest Bellexia]

It's funny how often guys won't know what the word "transsexual" means. I can tell them early on, then later when they ask it's like a shock to them. Just advice to girls out there, the word transsexual won't mean much, you need to be explicit assuming you want to even tell them.

[Cyndee]

It's funny how often guys won't know what the word "transsexual" means. I can tell them early on, then later when they ask it's like a shock to them. Just advice to girls out there, the word transsexual won't mean much, you need to be explicit assuming you want to even tell them.

I think it's harder in general for guys to understand MTF, especially the 50 and 60 something Men, they have the hardest time it seems, younger guys tend to "get it" more these days, better info exposure.

[Guest LizMarie]

Even friends who did "get it" to some extent have benefited from deeper discussions about the issue, including the state of current medical research on the topic. Such things help provide context. So far I've known exactly one older man in my personal circles who "got it" to some extent and accepted me. Others not so much so far. We'll see if or how that changes at work when I come out eventually there.

[Guest Claire-G]

yeaah you to the world put my picture up

[Guest Jamie_cd]

At least you girls are making steps forward. I feel like I'm still sitting and waiting for an invitation to actually make a serious change. There's small things I've done and a few people who know some details. Ugh being scared and nervous sucks. And it's not like me to feel that way. Oh well, there's time still so I'm happy. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

[Cyndee]

The time to be happy is now - I did not make that up, it's just a phrase that I've seen and heard often, like at this one support group. could not agree more. Live for today, live in truth, live with love.

Love

Cynthia -

[Guest Jamie_cd]

Thanks Cynthia! Today's been good so far and I feel much more comfortable in my own skin. Hopefully this continues!

[Guest ClareJuliette]

I see the doctor tomorrow and will hopefully (please, please, please) be referred to the gender clinic. Please, please and a million requests.

Next Sunday I will be - with arrangement with the vicar - telling the entire church the truth about myself. Apart from a few people they only know me as male. It seems most people will deal well with the lay preacher turning out to be woman but some will not, which is rather what I expected.

After that day I can pretty much close my old facebook account as all the family and friends on there have either been told and not responded or been told and become friends as Clare, generally offering much support and admiration for me having the courage to do this.

[Guest Dillinger]

Say anything? Okay. I feel very isolated and lonely these days. Maybe I need a pen-pal. Like back in Elementary school! Those where good times.

[Guest Jamie_cd]

Say anything? Okay. I feel very isolated and lonely these days. Maybe I need a pen-pal. Like back in Elementary school! Those where good times.

Mid day naps were awesome! I really need thise now more than i did back then lol. Those were definitely the good old days.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Shot day is tomorrow! I'm so looking forward to it. Gimme my girl juice!

Which is weird because if you squeeze a woman, you don't get estrogen out. Maybe some sweat and a little pee. Meanwhile you squeeze an orange, boom!, orange juice.

[mara13]

You're just not squeezing the girl hard enough, with enough pressure you can get girl juice out of a girl, say about 35T/I^2?

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Shot day is the best day.

[Guest]

Way to go Lizzie.

Watch out for Mara, you don't want to get squeezed now.giggle

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest DianeATL]

Ever heard the phrase "alone in a crowd" ? I think that pretty well describes me. I'm among people all the time but seldom with them. My protective bubble keeps me from getting hurt but hinders finding joy since no one gets to know me. Searching for the right people to invite inside the bubble until it is so crowded inside that the bubble bursts. This girl is tired of being alone.

[Guest Zayden]

Ever heard the phrase "alone in a crowd" ? I think that pretty well describes me. I'm among people all the time but seldom with them. My protective bubble keeps me from getting hurt but hinders finding joy since no one gets to know me. Searching for the right people to invite inside the bubble until it is so crowded inside that the bubble bursts. This girl is tired of being alone.

This is something I can definitely relate to. I used to be this way a lot and it was sad because I missed out on a lot, but I did eventually find those people, and even when some of them left and it hurt, the bubble remained broken to allow others to fill their place.

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who reached out and replied to me in this thread a few days ago, I had not gotten around to reading through most of the threads I reply to until now. I am doing much better and see my psychiatrist on the 23rd.

[Guest LauraJen]

I was in a store today and a very pretty and pleasant young lady served me. I looked at her name tag and noticed that her name was the same as mine (Laura). This reignited my desire to keep my name as I was recently considering changing it as it is already taken by another family member, it suddenly made me realise again how much I identify with it, and how pretty, in my opinion, the name is. I am having a very hard time getting anything else to stick. I know I see it every time I come on the site, but it is not a surprise because I expect to see it, so it doesn't have the same effect.

Then on the way home I felt a great deal of sadness after realising that I will never be 100% like her. One reason being that by the time I finally get to where I need to be, I will be well past the age she must be at now. I felt irritable and stressed for the rest of the day, and the dysphoria increased even more when I suddenly, for some reason, remembered the flatness of my chest and what is between my legs. I hate life, sometimes :-(

[Guest LauraJen]

Hi Megan,

Thank you for replying. With the name thing it might be a good idea to talk to dad about it, as this is one of his brother's daughters. Some people, here and elsewhere, have said that it would be a problem, others have said I should carry on using it. It has been absolutely doing my head in lately. If you check the thread you were talking about you will see that towards the end I said I liked the new name then shortly afterwards got frustrated about it.

And about age dysphoria, I am turning 23 shortly. I know that 23 isn't that bad, but unfortunately things tend to take a long time. The best case scenario is I will be 30 by the time I am done. Sometimes it feels like I will never see the day. For several years I have been made to wait and wait. I realise though that feeling down about that is a bit like the saying about crying over spilt milk. But I can't stop thoughts entering my head and during moments like the one I described yesterday, it really does come back to kick me in the face.

I noticed an old thread called "Who started HRT in their teens?". While I clearly didn't, I feel as if I have a few things to say on the subject. Maybe I will later.