A Place To Say Something

[Guest otter-girl]

Counting calories means eating every crumb on the plate! :-)

[Guest ricka]

Johnny--reading between the lines it seems you are talking about Mindfulness Practice and in particular the mindfulness practice of focusing on our gratitudes. Being mindful of the miracles and blessings in our daily lives. Gratitude always leads to joy doesn't it!

Ricka

[Cyndee]

Robin song heard this morning at sunrise, a sign spring is not far away here....

[Ravin]

Tonight my little girl (age 11) said to my husband's and my girlfriend that she was her only mom now, because technically I'm her dad.

That got her a big hug from me, and a reminder that no matter what I'm her parent and love her very much. I also reminded her that part of why I transitioned was that I want her to always be herself and so had to be myself to set an example.

She is such an amazing kid. I'm one lucky "technically dad!"

[Guest otter-girl]

Four weeks til my RLT landing craft hits the beach. Intimidating.

Skipping an electrolysis session Monday to have a weekend off. Realising transition is not my primary focus and that other parts of life are. Trying to remember to keep the momentum going and trying to have a life at the same time. A first glimpse that it's beginning to be normal. Saw some Snowdrops today: beautiful.

American sniper at the cinema tonight.

Be kind to yourself

Rachel

[Ravin]

It's probably healthier to keep things in perspective and not have transition as the central focus of life when it doesn't have to be.

And I'm totally envious of the beach smell in your car, Megan, even if it is the "funky seaweed" variety rather than "fresh sea breeze." I haven't seen the ocean in like 8 years.

[Guest otter-girl]

Megan, Thanks. (nearly typed tanks but it's not that kind of beachhead lol) I love beaches. Sand in your shoes for ages is a bit annoying though :-)

Ravin, very true, and great to hear your daughter and you are doing well.

Love

Rachel

[Cyndee]

I fought my TURF WAR last weekend Meg and am victorious, blasted that moss too, and now it's so nice out here, took the bike out for putt, they could never know.....

[Guest MostlySwell]

Oh my. I haven't been here since before the holidays! Winter. Bleh!!!!!! Turf wars??? Y'all. It's -4 outside. Yes. Fahrenheit!

A quick catch you up. My name and sex are legally changed and documented. I have a new birth certificate from TX, new driver's license from MN, and most everything else is now up-to-date. I till have stragglers, like Comcast and my education records, but I think that's all. My passport should arrive any day now. Yes. Texas issued a new birth certificate with new sex. The evidence that anything may have been changed is that I changed my last name, so it doesn't match either parent.

Other great news. I auditioned for and got invited to sing with One Voice Mixed Chorus, here in he Twin Cities. We're the largest LGBTA chorus in the country. I'm a first tenor. My voice is changing! "Squee!" I mean, "hey man, my voice is changing. he he he."

All of that get new, but for some reason, this winter has been really ruff. The only saving grace is that it's so cold that I don't have to deal with my busy body next door neighbor. If anything set me on a downward spiral, it was her, somehow or for some reason deciding that I needed her pity, so she brought me plant and then baked me brownies. I think what was really going on was she wanted to ask me twenty questions, having heard from my other neighbor that I was official with the name change. Has anyone else had neighbors being jealous or feeling left out because one was their court witness and the other was left uninformed? I bet that's what her problem was. Anyway, it was really awful, because I told her I was "people out" and declined an invitation to go over for dinner. Then she shows up with a plant and then again with brownies. "People out" means leave me alone and give me space. I texted her that and now there's this awful deadweight silence between our households--and it's made my going outdoors to take my dog out or go to my car seem terribly awkward. Ugh. Anywayzzzzzz, aside from this unbearable thing going on with next door (she's done similar things before--sending me job opening informations, knowing I have a disability and wondering if maybe I wasn't working because I didn't want to mess up my benefits. yes. Same person. Busy body.) Bleh. lol I guess I needed to get that off my chest!!!! Thanks!

Speaking of chest, I have a second chest hair! I discovered it this morning. lol

I feel better already. Thanks for hearing it!

Missed y'all.

Turf wars.... grumble grumble That's so ridiculous it's funny. But, I'll be in the same boat in just a matter of weeks.

[Guest MostlySwell]

Embarrassed by my rant. Ugh. I give that stuff way too much power.

There are so many cool things going on for me.

And, I hope my comments on your "turf wars" were understood as humorous jabs. I have good reason for living here--it's affordable and I have really good access to brain injury health care. February is hard. But that y'all are getting a handle on the weeds early in the season is awesome!!!

Freddie

[mara13]

Just remember what happened in "Caddie Shack", The gopher WON!!!

[Charlize]

Well instead of worrying about weeds and moss it is snow here. Today seems to be the beginning of a big thaw. We have had a few small flows of maple sap and have blocks of frozen sap in the collection house. I only know that because i plowed a path through the woods yesterday with the tractor. The last snow we got was quite deep and i couldn't use the 4 wheeler to get there without plowing. I just got back from digging a path to the sugar house which is about 1000 yds from the house. Fortunately the heart seemed OK which i'm happy about. Soon the mud will be the problem but for a few days i'll be sliding on white stuff until it turns to muck. Oh yes i am also the mom of a bunch of kid goats. The small nursery stalls i built this winter seem to be working fine and even though the last few nights have been around 0 they have been ok. At least two more does are bread and perhaps i'll also have a few surprises as well. We often do. Spring is always busy here with physical demands. That is a bit hard but it is also full of such beauty.

We have plenty of ground dwelling wasps here as well Megan but they are still a bit chilly. I'll be confronting them in August. My son has taken over the work with the honey bees i'm glad to say. He is a public defender so he's used to getting stung.

Hugs,

Charlize

[JJ]

I'm so sorry Megan. You get to leave them behind when you leave the restaurant but they are stuck living with someone like that full time. I know who has a better life.

It isn't just reserved for trans people either. When I was severely overweight it got to where I hated to go out to eat because of the comments and looks. Sadly human nature goes both ways and produces some narrow judgmental people eager to throw the first stone as well as those who make life better for all around them. In the end though I believe we reap what we sow. I never met one of those judgmental people who was anything but bitter and unhappy.

I'm sorry they cast a shadow on your meal.

Johnny

[Guest MostlySwell]

Well said, Megan and Johnny, both. Thanks for the reminder to live one's life freely and no how to maintain an attitude that is impervious to phobic and hateful tendencies from others.

[Guest ashleynikole]

Oh I know that feeling and I hate it.

Just this past Monday, I was out with my girlfriend and kids while one of my girls had a hockey class. We were standing at the snack line when I caught a glimpse of a woman at a table about 20 feet away staring at me. Of course she looked away but I saw her doing it again in a few minutes and at one point she even leaned over to the older lady sitting next to her and said something and that lady of course turns her head and stares right at me.

After about 5 minutes, another woman sits down with these two ladies and she's less graceful about staring and gossiping as she darts her head up and looks around a lot until she locks on to me and then stops looking around and stares. At that point, I was walking by and I gave her the biggest, nicest, "I know you're talking about me", smile that I could muster. They never said a thing to me but to sit and stare and whisper is flat out rude IMO.

It's so funny that you can have your ebb and flow days where one day you don't give a rat's butt what others think, or say, or do, and then some days, even the most innocent stare is like daggers to the heart.

Still journeying

Ashley

[gennee]

I was in a restaurant with friends one time and this one woman tried to stare me down. I just kept on eating and enjoying the night. If she didn't like me that was her problem.

[Guest otter-girl]

Hi Megan,

Im holding on that last line of yours " not to give up on people - they can come around in time."

Im out and RLT now and being quite sensitive I see and feel the "elephant in the room" situations. But these are offset when people who have known me making the effort to approach and re -affirm their connection and offer support. These top quality human beings offset a herd of non-entities.

One casualty might be my sister who is afraid of her husbands opinion and has distanced herself for now. Had to file that in the 'not my problem' box and just see what happens.

Hugs

Rachel

[Guest otter-girl]

Under strange 'firsts' you can get later in life is I'm starting to throw out some female clothes that I've actually worn out. Like a pair of socks that have a hole in the heel and a top that is looking really tired now.

Rachel

[Charlize]

I have done some of that as well Rachel. Older tatters can go. I have also been doing a kind of purge. I had amassed a great many outfits and so many of them were unwearable for various reasons. There were those whose style isn't me at all, some that are simply too sexy for a 66 year old woman and even some S+M outfits from when i was spending some time experimenting. All of this can go, i'll never wear it, but somehow it is still difficult to let go. This is the kind of a purge i should perhaps enjoy but i'm finding an old attachment still lives within me. The solution is a few large garbage bags and a trip to the recycling center. At least now i'm holding my head high without the shame that was always attached to a purge.

Mmmm maybe i'll hang on to some 5" spike heeled thigh length boots and a short skirt or two. I mean halloween will come again.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Cyndee]

Filter the bubbas, It's like dude, I just don't exist for your benefit....

Smile away goodbye....

[Guest otter-girl]

Now I used to really be into computers back in the old 8-bit days. Im talking pure assembly language. I used to crack software, could look at pages of hex dumps. Anyway roll on a few years/decades sigh. Installing a scanner on Fedora linux. Should be really easy. But nope, hit problems. Spend an hour on the command line and web trying different software and fixes, then it dawns on me.....

.

.

.

I forgot to plug the USB cable in.

Im gonna blame this on hormones. ;-)

Rachel

[Guest]

<giggle>

Been there, done that, too many times.

Z80

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest TGTrish]

The memories, back in the '80s I wrote more Z80 code than I want to think about, including a real-time OS for arcade games. The dual register set was so nice to have.

I still write x86 code using NASM now and then.

Trish

[Guest]

Taxes are finally done. Back to living life again, for another year.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest TGTrish]

Did my taxes about three weeks ago. Unfortunately my wife's employer didn't deduct enough. 4/15 is a (I have to) payday.

Who needs vacation anyway,

Trish