Good morning All. Coffees on.

[SheenaT]

1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

My Suzie, asked me last week while we were camping, how I was doing with my therapy needs and transition. I told her that I was doing well, because I'm no longer hiding anything from her or our grown children. Then conversation moved to a death notice of a life long family friend. My Suzie said she was always jealous of her, and her show horses. I replied, so was I, she had the best costumes. Suzie laughingly said, now I get it. So like you @JaniI want to be an open book. @Linda Marie your writings, songs, and questions reach me on many levels. Thank you.

 

@KathyLauren I'm sorry to hear about Larkin. All dogs go to heaven.

@Willow Best wishes and good luck with your home sale, and move.

Good morning @SheenaT

@Jackie C. your responses always capture so many of our common thoughts, and feelings here. Thank you as well.

 

Good morning to everyone, I may not directly quote you and your names, but I read all of your comments and will always be thankful for the kind and supporting things you share.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

 

Thank you @mindy

[Linda Marie]

18 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Well, once I was ready to come out... and by ready I mean I was either going to be true to myself or end myself... telling my spouse became the most important thing on my mind. I felt terror mostly. Guilt, not so much. The big question was, "Will she still accept me?"

I didn't worry about the lying so much as I told her within, oh, about a month of figuring it out myself (I'm thick. In hindsight, it was obvious, but I internalized the lie really, really well).

 

The biggest problem we had is that initially she thought It would blow over. It would be some kind of fad or something I'd abandon in a month or two. A bit later I had a breakdown about financing (and it was a breakdown. I learned that I could cry without any sound coming out) and she was convinced. The thing is though, she still loved me. I'm still me. I'm a better version of me, but all the important bits are still here. Hint: The "wrapping" as she puts it is not the important bit.

 

Our relationship is honestly stronger than ever.

 

Hugs!

Hi Jackie, I know those feelings well. Coming out was my last chance to survive, I was falling down the rabbit hole.

[Linda Marie]

Today's topic will be another question, I believe we all have the same answer.

Growing up trapped in a male body, did everything seem to be harder on you compared to other males?

For me yes. I hated being male, but did what was expected of a male.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like just being a normal male?

I know I did, but it was not to be.

 

My late gender counselor (she died of a massive stroke) said it best...it is like trying to hide an elephant in your kitchen.

Love to all here,

LM♥️

    

 

[SheenaT]

1 hour ago, Linda Marie said:

Today's topic will be another question, I believe we all have the same answer.

Growing up trapped in a male body, did everything seem to be harder on you compared to other males?

For me yes. I hated being male, but did what was expected of a male.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like just being a normal male?

I know I did, but it was not to be.

 

My late gender counselor (she died of a massive stroke) said it best...it is like trying to hide an elephant in your kitchen.

Love to all here,

LM♥️

    

 

I agree! @Linda Marie

[Ivy]

I lived it, cause I was stuck with it.  I have no idea how a "normal male" feels.

[Linda Marie]

I have another tune from the past.

As I was practicing this tune things went bad, I spilled my beer and had to clean up that mess, gosh that also reminded me of the old days pretending to be a man.

Anyway, a blast from the past.

LM♥️

[SheenaT]

1 hour ago, Linda Marie said:

I have another tune from the past.

As I was practicing this tune things went bad, I spilled my beer and had to clean up that mess, gosh that also reminded me of the old days pretending to be a man.

Anyway, a blast from the past.

LM♥️

??

[Stefi]

What a good day today. Yesterday my wife and I had a deep and scary talk. She said again that she can not accept me as a woman. She said it is male menapause . That is why I am acting and dressing like a woman. She said if I can not control this behavior, she would leave me.

 

Today she has softened her her stance quite a lot. She still can not see me in my woman's clothes (it makes her sick to her stomach). We live in a big house with a "in-law area that has two rooms with a bathroom between rooms. She spends most of her time in the sitting room and she is ok (she will not leave me) with me dressing any way I want as long as she does not see me. I can also go out in public (out of town so no one we know sees me). I am in my room now with a  denim Capri  pants and a cute black and white top and brown sandals with 2 & 1/2 heels. I feel so great right now.

 

 

HUGS

Stefi

 

[Confused1]

21 hours ago, Linda Marie said:

Hi peoples, me again, I guess by now you all are tired of me, so I choose not a video, just a picture.

 

I have a question for those that are married or have partners. 

How do you deal with guilt? 

I mean we bring our so's to a level of trust and spring this on them. (in my case)

Do you feel you are a lie to them? Do they understand?

As far as me I have never gotten over the guilt.

 As far as trust, they trust me, but I still feel guilty.

Just throwing this your way.

 

@Linda Marie

Like Kathy, I didn't understand who was in me and I told my wife within a month of knowing it myself, but I do feel some guilt. In my case, after some time of not knowing if I could remain married, (it went off the rails for a bit) she and I are as close as we have ever been. We now have a Christian transgender friend that calls and talks with my wife more than me. My guilt is different. It is about about her seeing our side of it, which in turn exposed her to how much animosity is all around us. We live in a very conservative community, attend a conservative church, and most of our friends are conservative. It has caused her some of the sadness I have felt myself in seeing the intolerance of people around us and not knowing how to change it.

 

@KathyLaurenSorry about Larkin. We lost a small dog (my wife's) a year ago that kept my whole family in tears for weeks.

 

@WillowPraying your house sells quickly and you are able to get what you want.

 

@MmindyI may have to try that motorcycle riding excuse to let my hair grow? My wife does like how my hair is finally growing back.

 

Hugs,

Mike

[Linda Marie]

Hi Stefi. I can relate to all that, as many here can also.

If I was to give any advice I say go with the male menopause, it will help her ease into it.

 

Living in the closet is a beginning. Nothing to be ashamed about, we all start there.

Best of luck to you,

LM♥️

[Linda Marie]

Hi Confused. I know about intolerance, I can deal with that, as far as church, well I just never believed in church.

My advice would be to ease her into this and feel her worries. Let her move at her pace.

Best of luck to you,

LM♥️ 

[Stefi]

Hi Linda Marie. Thanks for the advise. I asked my therapist about Male Menopause and her reaction was What about my strong desire to dress as a woman. I am ready to explode into my real womanhood. I do not feel comfortable in men's clothes. My closest will not fit me and all my woman's clothing. I am ready to bust out and leave the closest for my clothes. The only thing between me coming out is the thought of loosing my wife of 32 years.

 

 

Hugs

 

Stefi

[Michele_]

Stefi - I was on that path for the past six years. My wife knew I was crossdressing, but did not want to see me or interact with me dressed as a woman. After a very long journey of self-reflection, I came out about two weeks ago, and I am transitioning. I started living full time as a woman a week ago. 

 

Everyone is different, and I encourage you to follow your heart. For me, I finally felt that I couldn't continue living as two part-time people, so I made the switch. I hope you find yourself and that you are happy. Michele

[Maddee]

Sorry about Larkin @KathyLauren

Hard to lose a good friend like that
No longer suffering.

 

 

[Stefi]

Hi Michele_. It is nice to meet you and welcome to Transpluse. Thanks for your response.Are you able to keep your wife in your life?

I am ready to transition, ready to come out and live as a woman 24/7. The next month or so will tell if I can without loosing my wife.

 

Stefi

 

 

 

[Linda Marie]

I'm going to back off and do something funny. Hope you enjoy and understand what I'm am trying to show.

I wish I came up with this in higher heels and a more glam out fit, but I had to seize the moment.

Love you all,

LM♥️ 

[KymmieL]

Well the wife and youngest left about 2 hours ago. First to our middle sons the on to Lincoln.  I got a half hearted one arm hug from my wife when they left. Really left me know she was going to miss me. While it may not happen but I am thinking that my oldest will try and tell my wife to let me go again. I don't know. I hope I am wrong.

 

My wife has been a little cool towards me again. It just might be in my mind. She hasn't mentioned anything about being on HRT. but the packages are not hidden away. they are right next to where I have my other medication. In plain sight. Is she pissed that I didn't tell her? Maybe. I guess time will tell.

 

Kymmie

[Elizabeth Star]

13 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Is she pissed that I didn't tell her? Maybe. I guess time will tell.

Mine was. She felt I needed to discuss it with her first. She says she wouldn't have said no but I know the truth.

[Tasha Marie]

Good morning all. I have been so busy with flying I haven’t been here. A life goal has finally been reached. I have paid off my shop so when I complete my transition I will be working for myself again. Trying to get completely out of debt. Hopefully in this year. Things will be easier then. I know there will still be issues but hopefully somewhat easier.

[Linda Marie]

Today I'm going to give us treat. Rihanna at her best. I think many of us here dream we could look like this.

 

[Stefi]

I am so excided today.  I just got off the phone with my little sister.

I CAME OUT TO HER. No one else except my wife and doctors know.

She was thrilled and assured me she will be here for me anytime nite or day.

I am giddy and happy knowing she is here for me 100%.

 

HUGS

Stefi

[Stefi]

She will start calling me her big sister. She wants to take me shopping-I love shopping. She has a room for me at her house if I need it (if my wife throws me out). I will keep all updated as I try to convince my wife that I am a women but still the same person that she married.

 

HUGS

Stefi 

[KymmieL]

5 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Mine was. She felt I needed to discuss it with her first. She says she wouldn't have said no but I know the truth.

I know if I  asked it would be NO also. She is selfish and doesn't want me to change. Wants the person she married. She needs to realize that she married a woman.  One trapped in a male body, one that took another 32 yrs to realize. I know that it will never be a girl's night for us. 

 

Hugs, 

Kymmie 

[Linda Marie]

I feel this song says a lot about all of us trans people. I know I was a miserable person until I came out.

When I came out I actually learned to smile.

Hugs and love to all,

LM♥️ 

[Linda Marie]

The big day is coming. Tuesday will be my next run with Meals on Wheels. I asked my supervisor one last run together.

Yes that is when I come out to them dressed as David.  I'm no stranger to coming out, I already know how this might turn out,

could be good or bad, but I have to do this.

I will be posting my women's jeans and sneakers here starting tomorrow, and show her on my phone.

Sadly if she says no, I have no choice but to tell her find someone else. Sounds bad but I have a right to live my life.

 

On a good note I have been pacing my basement walls rehearsing on how to spring this on her. I think I have a good presentation ready. 

LM.