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KymmieL

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I'm going to start electrolysis for bottom surgery soon. I don't want to have any body odors. What worked for you? 

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Liz, I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's good that you have your brother with you at this difficult time.  I'm very spiritual and I'm sure what you described was a message.  Our loved ones have a way of letting us know they are ok. 

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7 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

for awhile lately I've been getting the impression she's been privately dealing with some difficult things

Same

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Good morning,

 

coffee was a definite need this morning.  I have some projects to take care of today. Take the alternator out of my Ford and have it tested.  Then if it’s bad I’ll replace it.  If it isn’t the alternator then it’s going to get expensive to fix and that’s not going to happen. Not going to put significant money into an 18 year old beater.

 

The boat I salvaged my engine and air conditioner out of was hauled away yesterday.  Glad to be rid of the responsibility for it.  SCDNR took it off my hands and had it scrapped.  I am so thankful that they started this program.

 

boat projects include getting power to my new helm.  Adding support to the underside so no one pushes on it and accidentally breaks it. Right now it’s rather vulnerable, and where it’s located someone WILL grab it to steady themselves.  I also want to add duplicate warning lights for engine issues.  Overheat, low oil pressure, charging etc.  Lastly I am going to install a second VHF radio at the helm.  The primary is below and I can’t hear it or anything else so having one where I’ll be when sailing is important to me.  It won’t have the range of the main one.  I have a main antenna on top of the mast for it, 43 feet above the water.  This one will only be ten feet above the water so the range will be reduced.  
 

I have an appointment Friday for a Botox injection in my throat.  My wife won’t go into the procedure room with me.  For her seeing a needle being pushed into my vocal cords gets to her.  For me it’s just something that has to be done.  I’m going to ask if the frequency can be increased.  Three months is too long, for a month now ive been having frequent spasms.  Two months would have been perfect.

 

sorry about the length of this, I know not everyone likes to read long posts.

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

 

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for awhile lately I've been getting the impression she's been privately dealing with some difficult things
 

i think if you read some of her posts around the time that she went too far for this site, she had a lot going on.  It was never clear to me if her wife had kicked her out (banished to the basement) or not.  Then there was the proposed sale of land.  Lots of things going on there.  We will never know beyond her final rant.  I hope she’s ok.

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  • Root Admin

We suspect it may have been an alcohol problem. At times she'd be ok and at other times, she'd be off the wall. We try to keep this site a safe and friendly place for all of our members. Whatever the cause of her behavior, we couldn't allow her to continue. 

 

MaryEllen

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5 hours ago, Willow said:

have an appointment Friday for a Botox injection in my throat.  My wife won’t go into the procedure room with me.  For her seeing a needle being pushed into my vocal cords gets to her.  For me it’s just something that has to be done.  I’m going to ask if the frequency can be increased.  Three months is too long, for a month now ive been having frequent spasms.  Two months would have been perfect.

 

In all fairness to your wife, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I could watch that either. I'm shuddering just thinking about it. Nope. Nope. Nope.

 

Hugs!

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Anymore things like that make me squeamish.  Where it never did before. Same with heights,  used to never bother me now. My stomach reacts to some heights on pictures/videos. 

 

Kymmie 

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38 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Anymore things like that make me squeamish.  Where it never did before. Same with heights,  used to never bother me now. My stomach reacts to some heights on pictures/videos. 

 

Kymmie 

 

I've always been afraid of heights too. Weirdly, I am no longer afraid of spiders.

 

Hugs!

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Well @Jackie C. and @KymmieL no worries.  The doctors office called and canceled.  The doctor is ill.  What you have to understand is that this is all related to my throat cancer. She injects lidocaine first so while I feel the pushing I don’t actually feel the needle or the injections and I can’t see it.  So to be not only is it no big deal, but it brings me relief so bring it on!

 

But, I can understand someone being squeamish but these days I’m past that.  If my 6 year old granddaughter could go through what she went through with no complaints, who am I to complain.  Is all relevant.

 

live you girls

 

Willow

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12 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

I'm going to start electrolysis for bottom surgery soon. I don't want to have any body odors. What worked for you? 

No one responded to this. May have been too personal. If so, I'm sorry. I found this at Walmart. Think I'll try it. I don't have an abnormal problem by the way, just don't want to offend anyone working on me. Kind of like what your mom told you when you were little, "always wear clean underwear when you go to the doctor"

odor block.jpg

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35 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

No one responded to this. May have been too personal. If so, I'm sorry. I found this at Walmart. Think I'll try it. I don't have an abnormal problem by the way, just don't want to offend anyone working on me. Kind of like what your mom told you when you were little, "always wear clean underwear when you go to the doctor"

odor block.jpg

My electrologist lady complains about smelly cracks. This looks like a good product.

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9 minutes ago, Erica Gabriel said:

My electrologist lady complains about smelly cracks. This looks like a good product.

Thanks 👍

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11 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

Thanks 👍

You know, if I had to work on that area for a living, I would have an exhaust fan inlet right under the area kind of what we used for welding. 

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5 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

I don't have an abnormal problem by the way, just don't want to offend anyone working on me. Kind of like what your mom told you when you were little, "always wear clean underwear when you go to the doctor"

My electrologist told us about a lady who keeps ferrets as pets and said she has a gag response whenever she has to work on her because the smell clings to her clothes! I hope she wasn’t trying to tell me something! I was wearing clean underwear!

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Putting this on my watch list.

 

Jan. 25, 2022, 2:37 PM PST
By Variety

Barbara Gordon has officially found her roommate.

Ivory Aquino (“Tales of the City,” “When We Rise”) has been cast in the HBO Max feature film “Batgirl” as Alysia Yeoh, the best friend of the titular superhero, a.k.a. Barbara Gordon (Leslie Grace).

 

Both Aquino and Yeoh are transgender, marking the first time a live-action feature film adaptation of a DC Comics title will feature an openly trans character. Yeoh first appeared in a 2011 issue of “Batgirl” written by Gail Simone and penciled by Ardian Syaf.

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2 hours ago, Aggie1 said:

My electrologist told us about a lady who keeps ferrets as pets and said she has a gag response whenever she has to work on her because the smell clings to her clothes! I hope she wasn’t trying to tell me something! I was wearing clean underwear!

That's BAD. People get used to their own smells. I didn't realize I had any kind of smell "down there" till I was on HRT. I know a retired massage therapist who would light sage in the room to assure a good atmosphere in both senses of the word.

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Well, the 24 hour odor block didn't work. I used it before bed last night and woke up this morning with a chemical smell, like the cottinelle personal wipes do. The Vagisil personal cleansing wipes works better. (Lilac) scent. I guess I'll have to Google it. 

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57 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

Well, the 24 hour odor block didn't work. I used it before bed last night and woke up this morning with a chemical smell, like the cottinelle personal wipes do. The Vagisil personal cleansing wipes works better. (Lilac) scent. I guess I'll have to Google it. 

 

I've used summer breeze, but that's mostly because it's what my surgeon gave me after GCS.

 

Hugs!

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Good morning everyone.

Every day I get better and things get easier. Having my brother here for the last few days has really helped but I know I have to move forward. I don't know what to do with myself now that I have a lot of free time. I did run into an issue with our bank account that created the need for me to open a new one. Since our bank was so small and we had been with them for so long they know a lot of what has been going on in our lives. Although they seem ok knowing I'm trans, I still have the desire to only be seen as just another woman. Yesterday I ended up opening a new account elsewhere.

 

The personal banker I met with asked me some basic yet friendly questions about what brings me there. Not really wanting to go into detail I just explained that my partner passed away and I was struggling with seeing her name on the account. That opened the door for idle chit-chat while she worked. Honestly, it was really nice. If I was working with a guy it probably would have been done 10 minutes; it ended up taking around 45. When she was enter my name into the system she noticed that my middle name is Star and asked if I prefer that over Elizabeth. All I could say is that I'd never been asked that before. I'm sure I got clocked as a lesbian pretty quick since I got to hear about how she dated a woman for five years but is now pregnant and with a man. Apparently her and a close friend have a thing with talking about how dumb guys can be. the small talk just went on for so long. I loved every minute of it and doubt it would have been nearly as engaging if I was a guy.

 

In the evening my brother and I decided to go out for dinner. It took a while to find a place with an open dining room. we ended up at a local Italian restaurant. A dimly lit dining area with a candle on the table, I thought OMG this feels like I'm on a date. As we ate I realized that although we knew what was really going on our sever probably ha her own thoughts. So when the bill came she put it in front of my brother. I quickly snatched it up, looked at the server and said  can buy my brother dinner once in a while. Even though she didn't say anything I could see that 'now I get it' look on her face.

 

I know it's only been a few days but I do feel the need to start trying to get back to a normal life. Well..., as normal as it can be at least. The world doesn't stop turning and I know I'll have my moments but I'll work through the feelings and pick up the pieces as I go. I'm going to try getting back to work tomorrow. Even if I only make it a few hours it's still a step forward.

 

I need something to do with my time so I'm going to look for a local lgbt group to meet with.  Just somewhere I can go to meet and hang out with people.

 

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That sounds really healthy @Elizabeth Star. I'm glad you're making an effort to move along. I highly recommend finding a lesbian group or three to hook up with. I'm part of several and I've never felt more accepted or at peace.

 

Hugs!

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3 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

That sounds really healthy @Elizabeth Star. I'm glad you're making an effort to move along. I highly recommend finding a lesbian group or three to hook up with. I'm part of several and I've never felt more accepted or at peace.

 

Hugs!

I'm gonna be honest. I have no idea how to find a lesbian specific group. Google is not being very helpful.

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Just now, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm gonna be honest. I have no idea how to find a lesbian specific group. Google is not being very helpful.

 

My suggestion is to try either Meetups or hit up your local LGBTQ+ center. Both have been very helpful.

 

Hugs!

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33 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning everyone.

Every day I get better and things get easier. Having my brother here for the last few days has really helped but I know I have to move forward. I don't know what to do with myself now that I have a lot of free time. I did run into an issue with our bank account that created the need for me to open a new one. Since our bank was so small and we had been with them for so long they know a lot of what has been going on in our lives. Although they seem ok knowing I'm trans, I still have the desire to only be seen as just another woman. Yesterday I ended up opening a new account elsewhere.

 

The personal banker I met with asked me some basic yet friendly questions about what brings me there. Not really wanting to go into detail I just explained that my partner passed away and I was struggling with seeing her name on the account. That opened the door for idle chit-chat while she worked. Honestly, it was really nice. If I was working with a guy it probably would have been done 10 minutes; it ended up taking around 45. When she was enter my name into the system she noticed that my middle name is Star and asked if I prefer that over Elizabeth. All I could say is that I'd never been asked that before. I'm sure I got clocked as a lesbian pretty quick since I got to hear about how she dated a woman for five years but is now pregnant and with a man. Apparently her and a close friend have a thing with talking about how dumb guys can be. the small talk just went on for so long. I loved every minute of it and doubt it would have been nearly as engaging if I was a guy.

 

In the evening my brother and I decided to go out for dinner. It took a while to find a place with an open dining room. we ended up at a local Italian restaurant. A dimly lit dining area with a candle on the table, I thought OMG this feels like I'm on a date. As we ate I realized that although we knew what was really going on our sever probably ha her own thoughts. So when the bill came she put it in front of my brother. I quickly snatched it up, looked at the server and said  can buy my brother dinner once in a while. Even though she didn't say anything I could see that 'now I get it' look on her face.

 

I know it's only been a few days but I do feel the need to start trying to get back to a normal life. Well..., as normal as it can be at least. The world doesn't stop turning and I know I'll have my moments but I'll work through the feelings and pick up the pieces as I go. I'm going to try getting back to work tomorrow. Even if I only make it a few hours it's still a step forward.

 

I need something to do with my time so I'm going to look for a local lgbt group to meet with.  Just somewhere I can go to meet and hang out with people.

 

Sounds to me like you're handling this pretty well. I hope you really are. I wish I had advice for you other than to keep busy. Please be safe. Might be a good time to take a class or start a new hobby. Hang in there. We're here for you. 💜

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7 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

Sounds to me like you're handling this pretty well. I hope you really are. I wish I had advice for you other than to keep busy. Please be safe. Might be a good time to take a class or start a new hobby. Hang in there. We're here for you. 💜

I am honestly doing better. Losing her didn't come as a surprise to anyone. She had been sick with PAH for many years. She was initially diagnosed with Group 5: (Pulmonary Hypertension Due to Unknown Causes) at the end of 2018 and it wasn't until last year that it was determined that she was actually group 1 and lung transplant would fix it. By this point she was so tired. Tired of the meds making her sick, tired of not being able to go out and have fun, tired of hiding from covid and just tired of not having a life. We cried so much over the years knowing the end was relatively near and even if she got the transplant it would have been a constant battle to survive for a minimal gain. she's finally at peace, no more pain and suffering.

 

As far as hobbies and stuff. I'm still trying to figure out what I actually do and don't like. I've realized that a lot of what I did was nothing more than a hyper-masculine cover. For now I'm exploring my new world.

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    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
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      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think you mean the worst possible interpretation of 2025 situation.  Keep in mind that there are those who will distort and downright lie about anything coming from conservatives - I have seen it time and time again.  It's one of the reasons I want to read the thing slowly and carefully.  They want you to be very, very afraid. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Here is where the expectation is that the stereotypical evangelical comes in finger wagging, disapproving and condemning.    Not gonna do that.   You have to work these things out.  Transgender issues put a whole different spin on everything and God understands what we are going through. I have enough trouble over here.  :)
    • Ivy
      You do you. You seem to be in a safe place if we end up with a 2025 situation.  But a lot of us are not.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, my marriage is different.  I'm actually part of a multi-partner marriage.  Like you see in the Book of Genesis.  My husband has four wives...and me.  I was kind of an accident, as our community sets the "reasonable maximum" at four wives, but that's a long story.  Plural marriage is approved in my faith community, with the exception of spiritual leaders, as described in 1 Timothy 3.  We believe that anything that isn't specifically prohibited is permitted.    The purpose of marriage is for people to work together, demonstrate the love of God, and to have children.  My faith believes in exponential reproduction - big families with lots of kids, both as a blessing and with the intention of using the size of our population for political ends.  Being intersex/trans and unable to bear children, I wouldn't have been a good candidate to be somebody's only spouse (the majority of our community tends toward traditional couple marriage).  Since my husband has other partners, I don't have to worry about the childbearing aspect, and I help out with raising our family's kids.  I'm a "bonus parent."    I'm not 100% open about my intersex/trans nature, although my community's leaders are aware of me.  Being transgender isn't condemned, but it is seen as a health problem derived from an imperfect, fallen world and an environment polluted with chemicals.  Since I'm married, I have a safe place to be, and I can live how I need to live.    I firmly believe the advice given in 1 Corinthians 7.  We don't totally own our bodies.  God gets a say, as I believe He created us to be male or female, not something outside the binary.  I don't think that transition without discussion with partners is OK....again, we don't totally own ourselves.  When I started to figure myself out, that was actually the main thing on my mind - will my partners accept me?  How will my position in the family change?  Since my partners don't really have a problem with the mild version of transition that I wanted to do, it has all been good. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Indeed.  While it seems like the majority of LGBTQ+ folks vote for Democrat candidates, not everybody drinks the Kool-Aid.  I'm a registered Independent, since I vote for individuals rather than party.  One of my trans friends is very pro-Trump - wears her MAGA hat and everything.  I find it interesting to see the reactions she gets... folks aren't always as tolerant as they claim to be.  Even on this forum, you get some real flak from Democrat voters....many will insist that the California way is the only way.    In my opinion, "Project 2025" isn't the real problem.  Check out UN "Agenda 2030."   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      While Biden may be more friendly to trans folks, I'm not a single-issue voter.  I just can't choose a Democrat candidate, as I believe their actions will destroy my community and way of life.  Biden just announced that he wants to significantly increase capital gains taxes.  Maybe he intends to "tax the rich" but that is going to affect everything from land sales to grocery prices to the cost of electricity and even folks' retirement savings, as most companies make a large amount of their profits through investing in the market.  It is absolute lunacy to think that increased cost or reduced profits won't be passed on to the rest of us.  Things are going to get way worse at this rate.    Mostly, I vote in elections for state and local issues, as the national government is about as pleasant as a Porta-Potty in July.  So, either I'll do a write-in vote for president, or I'll check the box for Trump.  Anything but Biden.     
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