Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Jani]

@2beBreanna The boot shopping trip sounded like fun!  As to your wife being accepting yet not fully want to go and continue to live life is understandable.  My wife was cautious in this regard but quickly saw it didn't matter.  Yours may come around sooner than you think.  All my best to you. 

[2beBreanna]

18 hours ago, Jani said:

@2beBreanna The boot shopping trip sounded like fun!  As to your wife being accepting yet not fully want to go and continue to live life is understandable.  My wife was cautious in this regard but quickly saw it didn't matter.  Yours may come around sooner than you think.  All my best to you. 

Shopping is always fun.  I am sure she will come around.  She always has a very hard time with change.  This is just me over thinking again.  When I am ready to take a step I wanna go for it before I start thinking. 

 

Jandi I hope the best for you and your ex. Staying friends is a good thing.  She must talk fondly of you for her new guy to be so worried. 

Edited February 10, 2021 by Jani
Corrected name

[Maddee]

Good "morning"

 

Glad my old car keeps starting in n the cold and taking me where I go.

 

Best wishes with your massage business Bri.

Jamie, your self electro project is daunting.  Thought I myself can't see myself sticking that ou ((at least. for major clearing), you are right: will=way.

 

On my way...

 

[Mmindy]

@2beBreannathat's great, my Suzie and I are still in the conversation stage of my transition. I'm relieved that we've moved beyond the yelling and crying communication stag. (her yelling and me crying) My fitness clothing and hoodie sweatshirts with bright shoestrings, headbands, and COVID masks are as good as it gets for now.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

[Mmindy]

Good morning everyone,

 

I woke up early this morning, cooked Bob Evans sausage patties, egg in the middles or some may know them as eggs in a nest as well as fresh berry medley. Her coffee is decaf, with a flavoring, mine is the usual HOT, black, and strong Folgers Dark Roast. The wood stove in the shop is bringing the temperature back up to a livable temp. We have more snow on the way so the bird feeders are busy.

 

Stay positive, and share a smile with someone today. Even if it's masked, they can see it in your eyes.

 

Mindy???

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

@2beBreannathat's great, my Suzie and I are still in the conversation stage of my transition. I'm relieved that we've moved beyond the yelling and crying communication stag. (her yelling and me crying) My fitness clothing and hoodie sweatshirts with bright shoestrings, headbands, and COVID masks are as good as it gets for now.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

I think that as long as spouses acknowledge who we are and can accept that part, the rest will come.  My wife the other day (whom I'm so luck is very supportive) said it was really weird when I started presenting as Bri but we dove right in and went full time. She said it was awkward in public and such for the first couple of weeks but now she doesn't even see the old me anymore and the new me is just normal.  We try to use humor in our discussions so I would point out things like- yea, it must be awkward for you because I feel like a gorilla in a tutu right now lol.  I think it was easier for her since I went full time quickly because I didn't present the old self anymore which reminds her of what it use to be like. Does that make any sense. I know I'm rambling.

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

Good morning everyone,

 

I woke up early this morning, cooked Bob Evans sausage patties, egg in the middles or some may know them as eggs in a nest as well as fresh berry medley. 

 

Stay positive, and share a smile with someone today. Even if it's masked, they can see it in your eyes.

 

Mindy???

Why are you doing this to me!!!!  I weighed myself yesterday and I just started my diet again lol.  

 

[Bri2020]

Scheduled my psych "evaluation" for readiness/need for FFS with my counselor. The first step for surgical approval with Kaiser.  I asked my wife is she was ready because the "-crap- gettin real".  She laughed and responded while pointing her finger at me "so all this ain't -crap- getting real?" referring to all the hormonal changes and presenting FT.  hahaha.  I couldn't get an appointment until late April but he put me on his cancelation list. It sounds like this is just a formality for him, he thinks I'm doing great with my transition so far and has been supportive of my 2 year plan for FFS, GAS, and other surgeries if needed.  I'm going to send my pics to a woman in England who does "Virtual FFS". basically she worked with a FFS surgeon for a long time doing photoshop work to simulate the expected outcomes for their patients so now she does that as a full time gig.  I'm curious to see roughly what can be done.  I'm a little concerned because I had my jaw surgically broken and advanced when I was younger and there is some wire still embedded in the jaw. I hope they can still do the work. I had to have my nose fixed after a few breaks but I don't think that will be a problem.   If all goes according to schedule it should be in November sometime.

The biggest challenge with Kaiser is you can only have 1 surgery in the process pipeline at a time. It can take quite a while to get through that. They expect 8 months on the FFS from the time my counselor sends the letter to the surgical date.  Then I have to start the process all over for bottom surgery to that may take another 7-12 months.  Same for trach shave/BA.   I think this is their way of not letting me rack up a lot of costs for them in a single year then ditching the insurance carrier.  

[KymmieL]

Good Friday morning to all.

 

This week so far has gone fairly well. I sent a thank you the the LGBT coordinator. Again I got a nice long response. A lot of support. 

 

Going to start my voice therapy up starting tomorrow. And hope to use it most all the time. especially at work. As most of the people at work know. We have a newer guy that is scared to ask me about my condition. He is bigoted, but (hope) he knows that I will drop the harassment boom on him. 

 

Kymmie 

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I think that as long as spouses acknowledge who we are and can accept that part, the rest will come.  My wife the other day (whom I'm so luck is very supportive) said it was really weird when I started presenting as Bri but we dove right in and went full time. She said it was awkward in public and such for the first couple of weeks but now she doesn't even see the old me anymore and the new me is just normal.  We try to use humor in our discussions so I would point out things like- yea, it must be awkward for you because I feel like a gorilla in a tutu right now lol.  I think it was easier for her since I went full time quickly because I didn't present the old self anymore which reminds her of what it use to be like. Does that make any sense. I know I'm rambling.

Bri, I'm lucky like you but not as far along with clothing. My wife called me Jamie 3 or 4 times last night. Only 2 times before that. A huge improvement. I mentioned I want to get a bra and she cringed. I'm just barely hitting the "B" cup stage. YAY !!!!!. Got my first appointment with my LGBTQ doctor on the 18th. I feel like I'm finally officially getting started. I'm so excited and anxious at the same time.

 

As far as counselling goes, I'm terrified. Am I just a freak that needs to be put in a padded room? Should I say what they want to hear or bare all of my deep dark secrets or a combination of both? I know this is not a new question.

Jamie

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Scheduled my psych "evaluation" for readiness/need for FFS with my counselor. The first step for surgical approval with Kaiser.  I asked my wife is she was ready because the "-crap- gettin real".  She laughed and responded while pointing her finger at me "so all this ain't -crap- getting real?" referring to all the hormonal changes and presenting FT.  hahaha.  I couldn't get an appointment until late April but he put me on his cancelation list. It sounds like this is just a formality for him, he thinks I'm doing great with my transition so far and has been supportive of my 2 year plan for FFS, GAS, and other surgeries if needed.  I'm going to send my pics to a woman in England who does "Virtual FFS". basically she worked with a FFS surgeon for a long time doing photoshop work to simulate the expected outcomes for their patients so now she does that as a full time gig.  I'm curious to see roughly what can be done.  I'm a little concerned because I had my jaw surgically broken and advanced when I was younger and there is some wire still embedded in the jaw. I hope they can still do the work. I had to have my nose fixed after a few breaks but I don't think that will be a problem.   If all goes according to schedule it should be in November sometime.

The biggest challenge with Kaiser is you can only have 1 surgery in the process pipeline at a time. It can take quite a while to get through that. They expect 8 months on the FFS from the time my counselor sends the letter to the surgical date.  Then I have to start the process all over for bottom surgery to that may take another 7-12 months.  Same for trach shave/BA.   I think this is their way of not letting me rack up a lot of costs for them in a single year then ditching the insurance carrier.  

The virtual preview sounds great. It will be a while before I'm at that point. This all takes too long. I wish you the best.

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Good Friday morning to all.

 

This week so far has gone fairly well. I sent a thank you the the LGBT coordinator. Again I got a nice long response. A lot of support. 

 

Going to start my voice therapy up starting tomorrow. And hope to use it most all the time. especially at work. As most of the people at work know. We have a newer guy that is scared to ask me about my condition. He is bigoted, but (hope) he knows that I will drop the harassment boom on him. 

 

Kymmie 

Let us know how it goes. I have a deep voice. Installed a couple free apps to my phone, but haven't tried them yet. Hopefully the new guy will keep his feelings to himself. Changing is hard enough by itself without having to deal with his kind at work. Best wishes.

Jamie

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Bri, I'm lucky like you but not as far along with clothing. My wife called me Jamie 3 or 4 times last night. Only 2 times before that. A huge improvement. I mentioned I want to get a bra and she cringed. I'm just barely hitting the "B" cup stage. YAY !!!!!. Got my first appointment with my LGBTQ doctor on the 18th. I feel like I'm finally officially getting started. I'm so excited and anxious at the same time.

 

As far as counselling goes, I'm terrified. Am I just a freak that needs to be put in a padded room? Should I say what they want to hear or bare all of my deep dark secrets or a combination of both? I know this is not a new question.

Jamie

Open up to them but take it at your own pace. Your deep dark secrets probably reinforce your need for transgender care.  A lot of us can trace back some of our hardest challenges in life to living in an incongruent state whether we knew it at the time or not. Having been in a "padded" room I can attest to that personally. Transitioning has helped my mental health considerably.

It's exciting because you will be on your way to living a truer self but it is a bit frightening to finally open up to someone about everything, especially because that will meen you will have some homework to do . 

I'm excited she is using your name more! That's a great sign.  

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Open up to them but take it at your own pace. Your deep dark secrets probably reinforce your need for transgender care.  A lot of us can trace back some of our hardest challenges in life to living in an incongruent state whether we knew it at the time or not. Having been in a "padded" room I can attest to that personally. Transitioning has helped my mental health considerably.

It's exciting because you will be on your way to living a truer self but it is a bit frightening to finally open up to someone about everything, especially because that will meen you will have some homework to do . 

I'm excited she is using your name more! That's a great sign.  

Thanks for your encouragement Bri.

[Jamie68]

For those of you girls going to get your ears pierced, I think studs are the way to go. I got hoops. They look and feel great, but really hard to sleep with. I rolled up a bath towel and pinned the ends together to make a doughnut shape. It works, but not well. Doughnut shaped pillows are hard to find in stores and are not tall enough. I've got to design a better system. 6 weeks is a long time to deal with trying to not lay on ears while sleeping.

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

 

Going to start my voice therapy up starting tomorrow. And hope to use it most all the time. especially at work. As most of the people at work know. We have a newer guy that is scared to ask me about my condition. He is bigoted, but (hope) he knows that I will drop the harassment boom on him. 

 

Kymmie 

Take the bull by the horns sort of speak.  Use your "voice training" as an excuse to address things with him. You might try approaching it with 'hey, I'm not sure if you're aware but I am transitioning and starting my voice training. You could help me by letting me know if I slip back into my former voice patterns and remind me to keep the pitch up" or something like that.  That way, your "normalizing" the situation and asking for help and support.  It disarms people and also sets a positive tone.  If he's an -censored- at that point it shows his true colors and you can show HR that you  were forthright with your status and he is now discriminating/harassing or whatever.  

Good luck with the voice training. Work it every day but don't over do it in a single day. It's hard on your vocal chords at first and you don't want to irritate them too much.  Kinda like exercise- over do it and you set yourself back. Seriously hydrate. Dry vocal chords are not happy ones.  I need to get back to it. I started when I first came out but life was so crazy I got overwhelmed and frustrated so quit going to speech therapy.  I use my more feminine voice on the phone but if the conversation goes over a minute I slip back.  It's really hard to use it around my family and staff because old habits die hard.

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

For those of you girls going to get your ears pierced, I think studs are the way to go. I got hoops. They look and feel great, but really hard to sleep with. I rolled up a bath towel and pinned the ends together to make a doughnut shape. It works, but not well. Doughnut shaped pillows are hard to find in stores and are not tall enough. I've got to design a better system. 6 weeks is a long time to deal with trying to not lay on ears while sleeping.

you can go back and have them slip studs in. No way I can sleep with hoops even after mine have healed.  You will end up pulling them out or irritating the -crap- out of things and they won't heal as fast.

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

you can go back and have them slip studs in. No way I can sleep with hoops even after mine have healed.  You will end up pulling them out or irritating the -crap- out of things and they won't heal as fast.

I really like the hoops. I can actually see them in the mirror. Makes me feel good about myself. If I get studs, they would have to be some gorgeous gemstones. 

[2beBreanna]

3 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

 I think it was easier for her since I went full time quickly because I didn't present the old self anymore which reminds her of what it use to be like. Does that make any sense. I know I'm rambling.

This makes perfect sense to me.  I feel the same way.  Just jump in and it will level itself out.  Sadly I can't come out or really present at work.  I am often having people in my office chatting and numerous times transpobic talk comes up.  I usually try playing devils advocate but not to the point it outs me.  I have 8 months until I switch back to a basic position or move into management.  For  those months I have to be able to be everyone's friend. 

 

@Mmindy Your breakfast made me hungry.

[Jackie C.]

4 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I think that as long as spouses acknowledge who we are and can accept that part, the rest will come.  My wife the other day (whom I'm so luck is very supportive) said it was really weird when I started presenting as Bri but we dove right in and went full time. She said it was awkward in public and such for the first couple of weeks but now she doesn't even see the old me anymore and the new me is just normal.  We try to use humor in our discussions so I would point out things like- yea, it must be awkward for you because I feel like a gorilla in a tutu right now lol.  I think it was easier for her since I went full time quickly because I didn't present the old self anymore which reminds her of what it use to be like. Does that make any sense. I know I'm rambling.

 

No, it makes perfect sense. Now my spouse is more weirded out when I do something like switch back to my old voice. Well, an approximation. I really don't remember how I used to sound.

 

4 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Why are you doing this to me!!!!  I weighed myself yesterday and I just started my diet again lol.  

 

 

You can have good food and diet. I just tore through half a vegetarian pizza. Cauliflower crust, spinach and garlic white sauce. Plenty of plant proteins, some fiber and no added sugars. About 600 KCal so that'll make my second meal for today.

 

3 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I'm going to send my pics to a woman in England who does "Virtual FFS". basically she worked with a FFS surgeon for a long time doing photoshop work to simulate the expected outcomes for their patients so now she does that as a full time gig.

 

I've heard of her. I'm super curious to see what she comes up with for you.

 

3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Going to start my voice therapy up starting tomorrow. And hope to use it most all the time. especially at work. As most of the people at work know. We have a newer guy that is scared to ask me about my condition. He is bigoted, but (hope) he knows that I will drop the harassment boom on him. 

 

You won't be able to use your new voice all the time at first. It takes a minute to build up the right muscles. Remember to keep your larynx hydrated. Room temperature water for when you get hoarse or tired. Practicing all the time at work will help accelerate your progress though so good luck!

 

2 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

I mentioned I want to get a bra and she cringed. I'm just barely hitting the "B" cup stage.

 

Your wife is being silly. If you have B cups, you need a bra. At least if you want to do anything active. Like jog up stairs.

 

2 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Should I say what they want to hear or bare all of my deep dark secrets or a combination of both?

 

You should be open, honest and truthful. They'll guide the conversation, but what you say is up to you. Nothing you say can leave the room by law. Relax and just let it all come out.

 

Hugs!

 

 

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

I really like the hoops. I can actually see them in the mirror. Makes me feel good about myself. If I get studs, they would have to be some gorgeous gemstones. 

I had big old cubic zirconia studs and they made me feel great.  I still put them in from time to time

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

I had big old cubic zirconia studs and they made me feel great.  I still put them in from time to time

Nice ! I was actually looking at getting some yellow/gold colored diamonds. ( QZ ) actually. Probably after this is healed.

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

No, it makes perfect sense. Now my spouse is more weirded out when I do something like switch back to my old voice. Well, an approximation. I really don't remember how I used to sound.

 

 

You can have good food and diet. I just tore through half a vegetarian pizza. Cauliflower crust, spinach and garlic white sauce. Plenty of plant proteins, some fiber and no added sugars. About 600 KCal so that'll make my second meal for today.

 

 

I've heard of her. I'm super curious to see what she comes up with for you.

 

 

You won't be able to use your new voice all the time at first. It takes a minute to build up the right muscles. Remember to keep your larynx hydrated. Room temperature water for when you get hoarse or tired. Practicing all the time at work will help accelerate your progress though so good luck!

 

 

Your wife is being silly. If you have B cups, you need a bra. At least if you want to do anything active. Like jog up stairs.

 

 

You should be open, honest and truthful. They'll guide the conversation, but what you say is up to you. Nothing you say can leave the room by law. Relax and just let it all come out.

 

Hugs!

 

 

Thanks Jackie. 

[Confused1]

5 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

As far as counselling goes, I'm terrified. Am I just a freak that needs to be put in a padded room? Should I say what they want to hear or bare all of my deep dark secrets or a combination of both? I know this is not a new question.

Jamie

 

Jamie,

 

I felt the same way on my first appointment. I live in a very conservative area and I just knew I would end up in a padded cell. Instead, I opened up to the therapist about everything and it couldn't have gone any better. If the therapist is any good your visit will be good as well.

 

Hugs,

Mike

[Mmindy]

6 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Why are you doing this to me!!!! 

Thank you @Bri2020for the encouragement, I'm very much on the slow slide down the androgynous scale to the feminine me. As for the morning breakfast menu, Suzie and I changed up our eating routine and it has really help us slowly drop our weight. We eat a reasonable breakfast as posted this morning, then we eat our big supper type meal for lunch, then we graze lightly for an evening snack. This allows us to burn the calories we've consumed for the day rather than eating our big meal just a couple of hours before going to bed.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???