Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Jackie C.]

19 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thanks everyone. Yeah, I would never do that to a friend. I would at least have some lame-assed excuse. Looking at it from the other side and that I never get invited anywhere should tell me how many friends I really have. It’s always been this way. 

 

It's funny that you should bring that up. I never used to get invited anywhere but now that I've transitioned and become active in the LGBTQ+ community, the invites to fun things are starting to trickle in. I had to turn down an invite to the Candy Bar Thursday night (because I had to work Friday, which sucked because I really, really wanted to go). There's a Lez-Bomb coming up in January that I'm going to move heaven and earth to attend. Now that I'm more myself and more fun to be around, my new friends (not so much the old ones, but those are friends I made as an Angry -censored-, they probably don't know how to deal with bright, bubbly Jackie) are more prone to invite me to go do fun stuff.

 

I mean it should be obvious, but life is just better out of the closet.

 

Hugs!

[Aggie1]

18 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

It's funny that you should bring that up. I never used to get invited anywhere but now that I've transitioned and become active in the LGBTQ+ community, the invites to fun things are starting to trickle in. I had to turn down an invite to the Candy Bar Thursday night (because I had to work Friday, which sucked because I really, really wanted to go). There's a Lez-Bomb coming up in January that I'm going to move heaven and earth to attend. Now that I'm more myself and more fun to be around, my new friends (not so much the old ones, but those are friends I made as an Angry -censored-, they probably don't know how to deal with bright, bubbly Jackie) are more prone to invite me to go do fun stuff.

 

I mean it should be obvious, but life is just better out of the closet.

 

Hugs!

Yeah me too!! My wife was the one who always got the invitations and I tagged along. No one ever invited me and I never had friends outside my wife’s circle. The script has completely flipped. She left the church and unfriended 90% of the folks she used to know after my daughters identified as bi 5 years ago and created their own friend networks and went to college and started jobs. My wife still has a very small network of friends you can count on one hand and one or two will visit once in a while.
 

on the other hand my network has exploded in both the lgbtq and the clubs and associations I’ve maintained. I can have deep and significant conversations with people of all stripes on many sides of the isle. I believe it has everything to do with my newfound transparency and embrace of my own vulnerability. I can finally “own” it in an honest way and it’s so refreshing!

 

for several years while my daughters were struggling I maintained a cone of silence partly because I was struggling with my own identity and partly because I wasn’t plugged completely into the church network in a social way that my wife was. It really bothered my wife to the point that she was unfriending me too in the real sense and had lost respect even more so for me. It was really hard to begin a conversation with her.

 

since coming out and being accepted by my daughters and seeing my network of friends and acquaintances grow she has thawed considerably. That plus maybe adderol for a diagnosis of ADHD she had to arm wrestle from her insurance company.

Anyway in either case, life on the home front is a lot more fun these days. We had three daughters and two boyfriends around the table for thanksgiving and will do a repeat performance for Christmas. Yes I know I said they identified as bi when they were teens but they seem to have gravitated to opposite sex relationships. Very interesting! 

[Jackie C.]

25 minutes ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Yes I know I said they identified as bi when they were teens but they seem to have gravitated to opposite sex relationships.

 

Just because you're bi, doesn't mean you can't also have a same-sex relationship. Bi people have preferences. A very old friend of mine (I've known her since she was eight) identifies as bi, but she definitely prefers men. She'll date a woman, but it's men like eighty percent of the time.

 

Hugs!

[Aggie1]

1 minute ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Just because you're bi, doesn't mean you can't also have a same-sex relationship. Bi people have preferences. A very old friend of mine (I've known her since she was eight) identifies as bi, but she definitely prefers men. She'll date a woman, but it's men like eighty percent of the time.

 

Hugs!

It just goes to show how fluid, and spectral, this phenomenon we call gender is. Black and White doesn't account for shades of grey, or brown. Right and Wrong doesn't give a judge any leeway in sentencing, mitigating circumstances, or conscience. Rock Solid sounds good until you realize that a mountain is based on a fissure in the earth's crust and acts more like a pimple than a bone! Hmmm. I seem to be waxing poetic this morning! Time to get a cup of coffee! Hah!

[Bri2020]

5 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

I agree. Most of what I've heard didn't make sense. Finally, this is something that does. It still scares me though that they are using US as test subjects as they try to force the public into getting unthoroughly tested shots that would normally take years to be put into use. It will be many more years if ever before we truly find out how effective and side effects of the shots are. Think about how long the flu shot has been out and how ineffective it is. Listen to all the side effects in TV commercials on any drug they are advertising. Scary!

Stop listening to the propaganda of the right. I'm a former RN, have done the research and worked in public health for a short time as well so I have done the deep dive into this subject. First, the majority of Covid research was done on an earlier strain of Sars-covid that was so virulent, it actually killed itself off so they discontinued the vaccine research. All of this work was were they started for this version of covid. They had a blue print to start with saving a couple years of work.  Vaccine development has come a very long way since the days of Polio, Measles etc.  They understand many of the hurdles from a safety standpoint and technology allows them to do early testing and research quickly.  These were tested quite thoroughly because they had a number of companies all working on the same project with very similar approaches and 10s of thousands of volunteers ready to be test subjects. They had a very active disease which gave relatively quick results on whether they worked or not.  When they gave emergency authorization, 100s of thousands more people lined up to get them, more people than have ever been vaccinated in a initial rollout than ever before. IE_ The largest group of research subjects if you will. The vaccine proved to be one of the safest ever developed and is massively effective at preventing you from dying. They learned about some more safety protocols and concerns too.(J&J blood clots for instance and cardiac inflammation) 

The key point here is you are far more like to die or have serious long term consequences from getting Covid than you would from being vaccinated.  ALL MEDICINE IS A TRADE OFF. Risk versus benefit. It's very clear, Covid vaccination is far more beneficial to you AND society than the risks of taking it. It should also be noted, the more serious the possible side effect, the quicker it manifests. Years from now, IF we see more side effects or safety concerns, they will in all likelihood be minor ones. 

 

As for the Flu vaccine.  Go back in history to pre-flu vaccines and see what your odds were of dying from the flu. Or from a completely new strain of flu like the Spanish one. That vaccine, like all of them doesn't guarantee you won't get sick. It's goal is to keep you alive or keep you from getting seriously sick. To that end, the flu vaccine has been a miraculous success.

Those commercials and their side effects illustrates my point- those statement start out with " although very rare, some serious side effects are possible........"  But we are talking very very small percent of people have these. Otherwise, they would have been recalled.  The risk of the possibility or severity of the side effect is minimal compared to the proven benefit anyone will get from taking them. 

BTW, Medicine has always been called "practicing medicine" because you are always be practiced on. Every case is slightly different, every reaction to treatment highly individualized. The treatment may be something that has been practiced a lot, or just a little but we have all agreed throughout our lives to be "test subjects" on some level.

[Davie]

3 minutes ago, Bri2020 said:

Stop listening to the propaganda of the right. I'm a former RN, have done the research and worked in public health for a short time as well so I have done the deep dive into this subject.

Thanks so much for all your good sense and educated experience,@Bri2020.

And thanks for posting this—good information saves lives.

— Davie

[Bri2020]

Liz I'm sorry about your dinner planning. I hate that. I tell people, food will be served at "insert time" because I hate when people are late and my food gets over cooked. I really would go ballistic if they didn't show. 

This topic is timely, I'm having some staff over for "cooking with Bri" night. A few have shown inteest in learning new skills and cooking styles so we are all cooking together.

Hope they show. lol

 

[Artpetal]

Tomorrow's plans: I'm going to get a book as a present for myself for Christmas, assuming I can find a good one at the store. I'll look for one with a good cover and read a little to see if I like it. Maybe I'll post it here if the cover is pretty. For another present, I already got what I think is a very nice pair of earbuds for Christmas because I love music and I'm not picky at all with earbuds. I love listening to female vocalists because it's usually relaxing. 

[Jackie C.]

Almost makes me glad we don't have room to entertain. All my outings are either at another venue or potlucks where someone has a bigger house.

 

Hugs!

[JustineM]

7 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

That was a VERY ill-conceited prank. I can't imagine what was going through his mind though it sounds like it was very nearly high-velocity lead.

It’s astonishing how many times I have to deal with things like this. And almost always from people (managers, security etc) that should absolutely know better.

Day needed on a much better foot. Got finished up at a decent time, home now and doing a small workout. Then get cleaned up and looking fab for my laser appointment. It’s weird that I get so excited about getting pain inflicted on my face lol.

 

Liz sorry to hear about your dinner party, but I am glad some did show up for you. 

[MirandaB]

If I was worried about side effects more than the problem the medicines are addressing I'd still be a sad man wishing I could transition.

[HollyNG]

A woman visited me,to see her dad's 1969 John Deere 4020.He passed 10 years ago and is glad I got it when I was 18 as a high school graduation gift.I let her see it when she wants to and knows I give it love and care to this day.I even drove it at her dad's funeral.

[Aggie1]

37 minutes ago, HollyNG said:

A woman visited me,to see her dad's 1969 John Deere 4020.He passed 10 years ago and is glad I got it when I was 18 as a high school graduation gift.I let her see it when she wants to and knows I give it love and care to this day.I even drove it at her dad's funeral.

That reminds me of an awesome chevy ad I saw today that brought tears to my eyes 

 

 

[Elizabeth Star]

I did contact the surgeon I have the top surgery consult scheduled with, she doesn't do bottom surgery but they recommended a guy that does. Just so happen to be the one I left a message with weeks before.  I looked around his site and found another number and called. Wow! I got a condescending attitude right-out-the-gate. Did you fill out your patient forms? Um, no, not yet. Well, you need to fill out the forms, send them back to us and I will call you with a date... Where do I get the forms? There on our site. Where do I send them to? It's on our site. The whole time while talking to this woman who seems to hate everything I hear someone, very close, in the background laughing non-stop.  I felt they were laughing at me for not knowing their procedures or maybe she hates the trans community.  Now I feel like  I have to let myself be mocked and degraded in order to get the help I need in a timely fashion and staying within my geographical limitations.

 

I know I can weather these storms and will be a far better person when it's all done. I just getting hard to fight anymore. I needed help years ago. When I realized the dysphoria monster was eating my soul it was already too late and I should have acted then. I already wasted two years with a therapist who was pushing his own agenda. My current therapist was supposed to have a letter in my hand three weeks ago, still waiting. If it takes time, I can work with that but tell me the freaking truth! My job, I don't have the option to do it when I get to it. I meet with my therapist again later this morning. I will ask yet again but I don't know if I can believe anything she says anymore.

 

I feel the darkness closing in around me.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

The whole time while talking to this woman who seems to hate everything I hear someone, very close, in the background laughing non-stop.  I felt they were laughing at me for not knowing their procedures or maybe she hates the trans community.

 

That's probably just your anxiety talking. My brain tells me any laughter I hear in the background is directed at me. In my experience, the staff at any clinic that works with the trans community is very respectful. Literally anything could be going on in that office. I once worked with a woman who would laugh for five-minutes straight if you walked up to her and said, "Penis."

 

That said, this clinic sounds a little snooty. Mine assigned me a point of contact in the office and a backup just in case I needed to get in touch with them. There were a couple of hiccups, but it wasn't anyone's fault and we dealt with it. I refuse to slide back into angry -censored- mode.

 

All the best with your scheduling and may your results be beyond your wildest dreams!

 

Hugs!

[Jamie68]

16 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Stop listening to the propaganda of the right. I'm a former RN, have done the research and worked in public health for a short time as well so I have done the deep dive into this subject. First, the majority of Covid research was done on an earlier strain of Sars-covid that was so virulent, it actually killed itself off so they discontinued the vaccine research. All of this work was were they started for this version of covid. They had a blue print to start with saving a couple years of work.  Vaccine development has come a very long way since the days of Polio, Measles etc.  They understand many of the hurdles from a safety standpoint and technology allows them to do early testing and research quickly.  These were tested quite thoroughly because they had a number of companies all working on the same project with very similar approaches and 10s of thousands of volunteers ready to be test subjects. They had a very active disease which gave relatively quick results on whether they worked or not.  When they gave emergency authorization, 100s of thousands more people lined up to get them, more people than have ever been vaccinated in a initial rollout than ever before. IE_ The largest group of research subjects if you will. The vaccine proved to be one of the safest ever developed and is massively effective at preventing you from dying. They learned about some more safety protocols and concerns too.(J&J blood clots for instance and cardiac inflammation) 

The key point here is you are far more like to die or have serious long term consequences from getting Covid than you would from being vaccinated.  ALL MEDICINE IS A TRADE OFF. Risk versus benefit. It's very clear, Covid vaccination is far more beneficial to you AND society than the risks of taking it. It should also be noted, the more serious the possible side effect, the quicker it manifests. Years from now, IF we see more side effects or safety concerns, they will in all likelihood be minor ones. 

 

As for the Flu vaccine.  Go back in history to pre-flu vaccines and see what your odds were of dying from the flu. Or from a completely new strain of flu like the Spanish one. That vaccine, like all of them doesn't guarantee you won't get sick. It's goal is to keep you alive or keep you from getting seriously sick. To that end, the flu vaccine has been a miraculous success.

Those commercials and their side effects illustrates my point- those statement start out with " although very rare, some serious side effects are possible........"  But we are talking very very small percent of people have these. Otherwise, they would have been recalled.  The risk of the possibility or severity of the side effect is minimal compared to the proven benefit anyone will get from taking them. 

BTW, Medicine has always been called "practicing medicine" because you are always be practiced on. Every case is slightly different, every reaction to treatment highly individualized. The treatment may be something that has been practiced a lot, or just a little but we have all agreed throughout our lives to be "test subjects" on some level.

It's nice to hear from someone with actual experience. Mostly I hear stuff from organizations that have an agenda who slant info to their benefit. Thanks for the info. ❤

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I did contact the surgeon I have the top surgery consult scheduled with, she doesn't do bottom surgery but they recommended a guy that does. Just so happen to be the one I left a message with weeks before.  I looked around his site and found another number and called. Wow! I got a condescending attitude right-out-the-gate. Did you fill out your patient forms? Um, no, not yet. Well, you need to fill out the forms, send them back to us and I will call you with a date... Where do I get the forms? There on our site. Where do I send them to? It's on our site. The whole time while talking to this woman who seems to hate everything I hear someone, very close, in the background laughing non-stop.  I felt they were laughing at me for not knowing their procedures or maybe she hates the trans community.  Now I feel like  I have to let myself be mocked and degraded in order to get the help I need in a timely fashion and staying within my geographical limitations.

 

I know I can weather these storms and will be a far better person when it's all done. I just getting hard to fight anymore. I needed help years ago. When I realized the dysphoria monster was eating my soul it was already too late and I should have acted then. I already wasted two years with a therapist who was pushing his own agenda. My current therapist was supposed to have a letter in my hand three weeks ago, still waiting. If it takes time, I can work with that but tell me the freaking truth! My job, I don't have the option to do it when I get to it. I meet with my therapist again later this morning. I will ask yet again but I don't know if I can believe anything she says anymore.

 

I feel the darkness closing in around me.

Hang in there girl. It'll work out. It took my therapist 3 weeks to get my letter to me. Then it was wrong. She sait "GCS" instead of "Vaginoplasty". It took a few more days to get the correction. Gender therapists are working long hours nowdays if they're any good. You probably just caught the surgeons office during a break time or something. The laughter probably had nothing to do with you. Hugs 🫂

[Kylie]

@Elizabeth StarI have had that same feeling before. I feel that when I have sought out any trans related issues I receive weird responses. But, over time I have. learned that it is my mind playing games on me. Some people see the trans community as subservient because we are a minority and we will just take any answer and move on. As an advocate for the trans community in healthcare,  I will say it is rare to interact with trans people in my line of work, but the clinics that serve the trans community are more than welcoming because that is what their practice stands for.

 

She needed explanation that while you are aware of the instructions listed on the site; perhaps you would benefit more hearing it from someone rather than reading - our styles of learning and understanding all differ. I know there are times I rather read instruction and other times I need to hear the instruction.

 

 

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

Rough night, I couldn’t get to sleep. Finally got up and took a couple brand name PMs.  Took a while but I got to sleep.  
 

chilly, rainy day today.  For now the rain is light but steady.  About a tenth of an inch since midnight.  I bought a weather station for the boat some time ago but haven’t gotten to the top of the mast to install it.  So now I just have it sitting on the deck.  I figured no sense it just laid in the box taking up space.  I mostly wanted it for the wind speed indicator but didn’t want to spend the money for a true sailboat version.  $65 verses $2000.  And this boat isn’t worth spending that kind of money on.

 

First cup drunk, it was good.  I may have another when my wife gets up.

 

 Today is laundry, grocery, recycle and mail pick up day.  Tomorrow blood work and sewage dump day.  Also, My favorite thing to do. We have a fairly small black water tank.  It fills up approximately every 2 days.  I have a pretty simple system to empty it, a small external tank for camper which holds just over double what the boat tank holds and a pump that is intended for raw sewage.  Then I have to take the rv tank to a local state park to dump that.  Sorry about the distasteful work.

 

 Conversation about friends, both of us are fairly shy but my wife participated in things that gave her friends.  Dead me, not so much.  When we moved here I was determined to find a way to make some friends and I did.  Not a lot but some.  So the tables were reversed.  Then I found out that a lot of my problems all these years was related to my being trans without knowing or understanding that.

 

I wish I could have found the courage to tell someone about my desires so many years ago.  
 

Willow

[KymmieL]

Friends what is that concept. While I have people I am friends with but not friends. Almost entirely at work. I have no real best friend other than my wife. It is sad. But that is my life. My only friends are those on TGP. Those of you on here.

 

Lizzy, I am sorry that happened. It just may have been something innocent. You never know.  I have the being laughed at feeling all the time. Isolated and forgotten, talked about, Laughed at. You name it. Even from my co-workers. I guess it is just the trans paranoia. Maybe another identifier I have had for years.

 

Up early, even after being up in the middle of the night. Well, I just sit here in my normal spot, thinking about getting my first cup. In a bored, depressed, uncaring mood. Even though it is my b-day. Like the other 365 days in a year. It is just another day. Wondering why the goddess made me like this. Not brave enough to say, F it and live as the girl I am. Well back to my pathetic life.

 

Sorry for being debbie downer.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[Marcie Jensen]

17 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Those commercials and their side effects illustrates my point- those statement start out with " although very rare, some serious side effects are possible........" 

I see those commercials every day. My favorite line from them is "...don't take if you're allergic to (insert name of drug)."  I may be a cynic, but that speaks volumes and tells me that lawyers are involved as opposed to medical professionals. It also tells me that folks who are allergic have taken the meds with some dire consequences. While common sense would suggest that a person should not ingest stuff they are allergic to, Ben Franklin got it right when he said that common sense isn't very common.

 

Regardless, only an idiot would not get vaccinated, imho.

[Ivy]

14 hours ago, RhondaS said:

If I was worried about side effects more than the problem the medicines are addressing I'd still be a sad man wishing I could transition.

Me also.    I figure if I'm willing to have HRT, with its risks, the covid vax is a no brainer.

I just figured if HRT kills me, at least I'll die as who I am.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Marcie Jensen said:

I see those commercials every day. My favorite line from them is "...don't take if you're allergic to (insert name of drug)."  I may be a cynic, but that speaks volumes and tells me that lawyers are involved as opposed to medical professionals. It also tells me that folks who are allergic have taken the meds with some dire consequences. While common sense would suggest that a person should not ingest stuff they are allergic to, Ben Franklin got it right when he said that common sense isn't very common.

 

Drug commercials always blow my mind with that. I mean, yeah, if you're allergic, don't take it. Your doctor should be on deck to treat anaphylaxis for your first couple of doses anyway. Usually I'm listening to the side-effects and thinking, "OK, it's an immuno-suppressant." I totally get that. My immune system is berserk too. I also blanch when one of the side-effects is death. Especially if the drug is treating something like an unsightly skin condition. I mean do you want to be slightly itchy or would you prefer death!

Obviously there are some conditions where I'd risk it (I've got a couple of chronic genetic problems and they suck), but in general I try to avoid death since coming out. I wonder if death misses me. We used to be such buds. I'd call him CONSTANTLY, but he always ended up ghosting me. Ah well.

 

@KymmieL... I don't know what to tell you. I've been where you are. It sucked. You know what the fix is. I wish you'd stop torturing yourself, but it has to be your decision. Sending you positive thoughts sweetie.

 

Hugs!

[stveee]

6 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I did contact the surgeon I have the top surgery consult scheduled with, she doesn't do bottom surgery but they recommended a guy that does. Just so happen to be the one I left a message with weeks before.  I looked around his site and found another number and called. Wow! I got a condescending attitude right-out-the-gate. Did you fill out your patient forms? Um, no, not yet. Well, you need to fill out the forms, send them back to us and I will call you with a date... Where do I get the forms? There on our site. Where do I send them to? It's on our site. The whole time while talking to this woman who seems to hate everything I hear someone, very close, in the background laughing non-stop.  I felt they were laughing at me for not knowing their procedures or maybe she hates the trans community.  Now I feel like  I have to let myself be mocked and degraded in order to get the help I need in a timely fashion and staying within my geographical limitations.

 

I know I can weather these storms and will be a far better person when it's all done. I just getting hard to fight anymore. I needed help years ago. When I realized the dysphoria monster was eating my soul it was already too late and I should have acted then. I already wasted two years with a therapist who was pushing his own agenda. My current therapist was supposed to have a letter in my hand three weeks ago, still waiting. If it takes time, I can work with that but tell me the freaking truth! My job, I don't have the option to do it when I get to it. I meet with my therapist again later this morning. I will ask yet again but I don't know if I can believe anything she says anymore.

 

I feel the darkness closing in around me.

Lizzy, I really hate to see you struggle lately. My thoughts are watch out for that stinking thinking and negativity that pops up when the stress comes regarding getting into other people's heads or assumptions, because it can be a downward spiral and bad habit until pretty soon we seem at odds with everyone around us. And then hopelessness subtly creeps in. 

Practice not getting "bogged down" as deep or for as long when faced with frustration or adversity. Be aware of your first reactions and feelings. Recognize when you may start beginning to self-sabotage by feeding into the fear.

Try to be more resilient. It sounds like you are carrying a lot of dead weight around.

[Elizabeth Star]

Thanks everyone for listening to me. If it was just one thing it wouldn’t bother me. Not even 2 or 3 but it seems like everything from every direction. I am honestly trying to resist falling into a bad place but to make things better I’m feeling like hot garbage today. I took another Covid test, still negative. I’m seeing a flaw in the current system. If I came to work in this condition, 2-3 years ago, I would have been sent home without any hesitation but since it’s not Covid I’m cleared to work….just wear a mask.